Me and Aqua

This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by truthseeker on Friday, April 17, 2009 and has 3 replies.

Aqua/Friend/Neighbor admits (after 2 yrs of knowing each other) that he likes me. In fact, he told me he was jealous after realizing that I was dating someone. Truth is, I knew he liked me, but was never quite sure because he's not the most direct person. I'm no longer seeing anyone, so we started haning out more. I grew to like him too, but I also realized that in the long run, we wouldn't last (we're on different paths and he's 10 yrs older). So, I asked him (not so directly) if he wanted to be friends w/ benefits. Mind you, I only asked because a couple of weeks earlier, he kissed me and we hooked up, and it was TOTALLY random (I was in sweats. I don't think I had even showered yet, hahaha!). We didn't have sex, but I knew that if I put out this proposition, he'd be game. When I asked, his response was "where would this go?" my response was "why does it have to go anywhere?" I disappeared for about a week, and when I came back, we did the deed (but not before he invited me out to a BBQ to meet some friends of his...like I was being tested, or something).

Anyway, after the second time, he distanced himself because he was starting to feel something. I know this, because he told me using a hypothetical situation (i.e. "what if the guy you are sleeping with oversteps his boundaries" and "what if he begins to develop feelings" and "don't worry, though, he's mature enough to know that it's just sex." I engaged him in the hypotheitcal scenario w/ responses like "if it got to be too much, we'd end it." I think we both obviously knew that feelings would eventually come into play.

That night, we had sex, and he completely detached himself. That made me realize that my feelings had become involved as well, because I was upset about it. So, I told him a couple of days later that I didn't want to engage him in just sex. He deserved more and i wanted more. He seemed relieved, as was I.

We've gone back to being just friends and everything is fine, but I really do like him. However, I'm not sure I want to get involved in a relationship for several reasons that have to w/ his flaws and mine (which are similar in an eerie way). Not to mention I value our friendship. I want to throw caution to the wind, and just dive in because I KNOW I would learn and grow so much from being in a relationship w/ him. But I can't help but be realistic with regards to my own wants and desires. Plus, I don't know how he feels now. Advice?