RaeofSun
@RaeofSun
12 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 311 · Topics: 29
Over analyzing
wow listen to music often, relax....go with the flow.
only times when things get me down if my loved ones are in trouble. on my period, for PMSing, or not having any food in my stomach and i get upset.
only times when things get me down if my loved ones are in trouble. on my period, for PMSing, or not having any food in my stomach and i get upset.
oh ....you probably need more sex. *nods*
releases tension and psychoanalzying ways.
releases tension and psychoanalzying ways.
A big part of the solution is mind-control. In the same way that we'd encourage someone to build their own "edit button" if they're the type that talks too much or doesn't think before they speak, the same can be done in matters of the mind
Takes a lot of practice
And the most important step for you to take is to find the source of why you are that way. There's a reason that you are this way now, but didn't used to be. Even if the reason is small, it's def. had a big impact on your psyche, so figuring out that reason would do wonders for you b/c you'll probably also discover that the source has impacted your personality in other ways too
Did you used to be the kind of person who was criticized a lot? Or always made bad decisions/used bad judgment b/c you never used your logic ENOUGH? Or were too emotional growing up so much so that being logical was not 2nd nature to you? If so, the over-analyzing trait in you now could be your sub-conscious emotional reaction to any situation as your way of finding a reason to be overly-critical to self or over-protective of your mind b/c you sub-consciously think that doing so will somehow spare you from making bad decisions or overlooking something
Over-analyzing can sometimes be a protection mechanism. It's a "nothing gets past me" sub-conscious mentality. It's almost like not feeling that a moment has any real value unless you've analyzed it too death 1st lol
Analyzing is a great thing moreso than not. BUT too much of anything is usually a bad thing, hence the term OVER-analyzing. You're an Aqua so a part of you will always be an intellectual, observant person no matter what, BUT you can tone it down some. Mind control, darling. Mind control
Takes a lot of practice
And the most important step for you to take is to find the source of why you are that way. There's a reason that you are this way now, but didn't used to be. Even if the reason is small, it's def. had a big impact on your psyche, so figuring out that reason would do wonders for you b/c you'll probably also discover that the source has impacted your personality in other ways too
Did you used to be the kind of person who was criticized a lot? Or always made bad decisions/used bad judgment b/c you never used your logic ENOUGH? Or were too emotional growing up so much so that being logical was not 2nd nature to you? If so, the over-analyzing trait in you now could be your sub-conscious emotional reaction to any situation as your way of finding a reason to be overly-critical to self or over-protective of your mind b/c you sub-consciously think that doing so will somehow spare you from making bad decisions or overlooking something
Over-analyzing can sometimes be a protection mechanism. It's a "nothing gets past me" sub-conscious mentality. It's almost like not feeling that a moment has any real value unless you've analyzed it too death 1st lol
Analyzing is a great thing moreso than not. BUT too much of anything is usually a bad thing, hence the term OVER-analyzing. You're an Aqua so a part of you will always be an intellectual, observant person no matter what, BUT you can tone it down some. Mind control, darling. Mind control
krysrenee7: Yes, the mind is a powerful thing. I've put a lot of thought as to why I react and behave the way I do. A friend of mine asked what happened to me, I'm not myself. That I use to be so care free and charismatic... these days I seem to be more quiet and in thought.
Lately, when I feel a certain way, I take some deep breaths and ask myself why I feel that way, and say the reason(s) out loud to myself. I've put a lot of thought into the reason why I may be like this now, and it has to do with my past relationship and friendships. There has only been one relationship that I gave my all to, I sacrificed and gave all of me... and it wasn't enough. I know that we just weren't right for one another and just because you love someone, doesn't mean you are meant to be, but I feel that that have effected me now. I had a female bestie that up and left without any sort of explanation. Though I'm emotionally healed and over these losses, I feel that they have effected the person I am now. With the ex, the feeling of not being enough... when I gave everything I could. With the bestie... the feeling of what did I do wrong for her to completely cut ties with me and not offer an explanation. Now, I find that I am always trying to be perfect or more than enough for someone, that way I know that I did everything I could to not lose that person. So, though the pain will still occur should I lose them, the regret of not coming through on my end won't be a problem. It could also be my fear of loss... I don't want to lose the people that I love so much and whom I hold so dear to my hear again. I rarely let people in, that when I do, and they are removed from my life for a failed relationship or friendship, I take it hard.
I want to get over this. I'm spending more time analyzing the moment and thinking about how I should be behaving or what I should be doing... what the other person is doing or how they are behaving, that I miss out on the moment all together. I'm not myself... I want to stop thinking and just be.
I know I'm a great person and I'm confident, I think it's just my fear of loss that is causing this.
Lately, when I feel a certain way, I take some deep breaths and ask myself why I feel that way, and say the reason(s) out loud to myself. I've put a lot of thought into the reason why I may be like this now, and it has to do with my past relationship and friendships. There has only been one relationship that I gave my all to, I sacrificed and gave all of me... and it wasn't enough. I know that we just weren't right for one another and just because you love someone, doesn't mean you are meant to be, but I feel that that have effected me now. I had a female bestie that up and left without any sort of explanation. Though I'm emotionally healed and over these losses, I feel that they have effected the person I am now. With the ex, the feeling of not being enough... when I gave everything I could. With the bestie... the feeling of what did I do wrong for her to completely cut ties with me and not offer an explanation. Now, I find that I am always trying to be perfect or more than enough for someone, that way I know that I did everything I could to not lose that person. So, though the pain will still occur should I lose them, the regret of not coming through on my end won't be a problem. It could also be my fear of loss... I don't want to lose the people that I love so much and whom I hold so dear to my hear again. I rarely let people in, that when I do, and they are removed from my life for a failed relationship or friendship, I take it hard.
I want to get over this. I'm spending more time analyzing the moment and thinking about how I should be behaving or what I should be doing... what the other person is doing or how they are behaving, that I miss out on the moment all together. I'm not myself... I want to stop thinking and just be.
I know I'm a great person and I'm confident, I think it's just my fear of loss that is causing this.
I used to have this problem really bad. Occasionally I still do when I really want something to work and I care a lot about it. It shows that you care, but also can be crippling if you can't control it. Like if you are always replaying these scenarios.
I think it's natural to want to have made the right choice and make the moments good. And to be offended at ourselves for not doing the obvious things. Don't beat yourself up so much. Just remember that we all make mistakes and to just not make the same one again next time. Because then it becomes even more crippling. What helped me was realizing I didn't have to care so much. Life is so much freer when you don't care as much and you do your own thing without worrying what others think 🙂
I think it's natural to want to have made the right choice and make the moments good. And to be offended at ourselves for not doing the obvious things. Don't beat yourself up so much. Just remember that we all make mistakes and to just not make the same one again next time. Because then it becomes even more crippling. What helped me was realizing I didn't have to care so much. Life is so much freer when you don't care as much and you do your own thing without worrying what others think 🙂
I understand completely. You've got abandonment issues. I 100% totally understand
I think that it's very noble of you that you do everything in your power to keep those you cherish, around. It's always a good thing when someone is warm-hearted & humble enough to go about their relationships/friendships like they actually give a F!
However, sometimes trying to be too perfect or appear too strong or too "right" can work against you. Especially when it comes to the people who don't know your story. They'll just perceive your constant over-analyzing as insecurity, baggage & you being a "know it all," & from there, they'll react to your personality in a negative way. Not b/c there's something wrong with you, but b/c they are seeing these things in you but not understanding the source, therefore just taking the easy way out & judging you for it. And since perception is reality....what can you do, ya know?
You're not completely over your losses. You're over them as people, but you're not over the feeling of intense rejection & disappointment that you felt. You are still feeling imprisoned now by those feelings that you used to feel then. And you think that overly going out of your way to cherish every single moment will always work in your favor, which only leads to more confusion & disappointment when you see that it doesn't or that others are turned off by this.
When it comes to self, you are the only person who needs to understand you. But when it comes to having relationships with others, things change & it's a lot harder to get people to understand or make sense of what makes perfect sense to you in your head lol And since you value relationships/friendships with others, I think you not wanting to lose them should give you an incentive to NOT be so over-analyzing, which could cause someone to run too.
Try meditating. Try praying. Sign up for counseling. Write your feelings down in a diary (they even have private online diaries). When you feel yourself starting to over-analyze, do something to distract yourself. Call a friend & let THEM talk about themselves so that it gives you something else to think about. Read books that interest you so that it distracts you from the racing thoughts in your head.
You're an Aqua & we require a lot of mental stimulation in order to function. Crazy thing is, our OWN racing thoughts are giving us mental stimulation too, just in a BAD way lol So use something other than your racing thoughts to be your ment
I think that it's very noble of you that you do everything in your power to keep those you cherish, around. It's always a good thing when someone is warm-hearted & humble enough to go about their relationships/friendships like they actually give a F!
However, sometimes trying to be too perfect or appear too strong or too "right" can work against you. Especially when it comes to the people who don't know your story. They'll just perceive your constant over-analyzing as insecurity, baggage & you being a "know it all," & from there, they'll react to your personality in a negative way. Not b/c there's something wrong with you, but b/c they are seeing these things in you but not understanding the source, therefore just taking the easy way out & judging you for it. And since perception is reality....what can you do, ya know?
You're not completely over your losses. You're over them as people, but you're not over the feeling of intense rejection & disappointment that you felt. You are still feeling imprisoned now by those feelings that you used to feel then. And you think that overly going out of your way to cherish every single moment will always work in your favor, which only leads to more confusion & disappointment when you see that it doesn't or that others are turned off by this.
When it comes to self, you are the only person who needs to understand you. But when it comes to having relationships with others, things change & it's a lot harder to get people to understand or make sense of what makes perfect sense to you in your head lol And since you value relationships/friendships with others, I think you not wanting to lose them should give you an incentive to NOT be so over-analyzing, which could cause someone to run too.
Try meditating. Try praying. Sign up for counseling. Write your feelings down in a diary (they even have private online diaries). When you feel yourself starting to over-analyze, do something to distract yourself. Call a friend & let THEM talk about themselves so that it gives you something else to think about. Read books that interest you so that it distracts you from the racing thoughts in your head.
You're an Aqua & we require a lot of mental stimulation in order to function. Crazy thing is, our OWN racing thoughts are giving us mental stimulation too, just in a BAD way lol So use something other than your racing thoughts to be your ment
...You're an Aqua & we require a lot of mental stimulation in order to function. Crazy thing is, our OWN racing thoughts are giving us mental stimulation too, just in a BAD way lol So use something other than your racing thoughts to be your mental stimulation. With more & more practice, it gets easier & easier!
Think of it this way...Usually when something annoys you about yourself, it will probably annoy someone else too lol If your own over-analyzing drains you, tires you out & doesn't help you to trust yourself when it's all said & done, what do you think over-analyzing does to relationships with others?
I'm not saying you should live for others, BUT clearly you are like me in that you have no shame in admitting that you do see the value in having others around in your life & that you want to do everything to keep them around w/o running them away at the same time. I get it.
You can't control the actions of others. This is a truth that's true for ALL of us. Sometimes you can do everything right, but they still don't want you. Still don't think you're enough. Still want to stray or go find what they perceive to be "better." And yes, all of that will have a big affect on self-esteem. Before you know it, you find yourself starting to believe that you're not worth it, good enough or better.
But the 1 person you CAN control is you. And if you want to have healthy relationships with the kinds of people that actually won't abandon you, then make sure that you're fixing yourself & constantly troubleshooting yourself so that 1 day YOU are not the cause for things not working out!
Get what I'm saying??!
I'm not saying you should live for others, BUT clearly you are like me in that you have no shame in admitting that you do see the value in having others around in your life & that you want to do everything to keep them around w/o running them away at the same time. I get it.
You can't control the actions of others. This is a truth that's true for ALL of us. Sometimes you can do everything right, but they still don't want you. Still don't think you're enough. Still want to stray or go find what they perceive to be "better." And yes, all of that will have a big affect on self-esteem. Before you know it, you find yourself starting to believe that you're not worth it, good enough or better.
But the 1 person you CAN control is you. And if you want to have healthy relationships with the kinds of people that actually won't abandon you, then make sure that you're fixing yourself & constantly troubleshooting yourself so that 1 day YOU are not the cause for things not working out!
Get what I'm saying??!
I do that too in retrospect of any social interaction I often wonder the alternatives and outcomes. Although it's probably opposite for me, when I was younger I'd analyse things more than I do now.
I spent a great deal trying to be that perfection as you mentioned for someone. I guess it's a whole other ball game to analyse the situation after in that my conclusion was there's really no sense in trying as hard as I did. Flip it around and years down the track I found myself wondering what if I just put in the right amount of effort?
Tell you what I still have no idea but my brain has happily adapted to the philosophy that I can never make mistakes, whatever happens usually just happens.
I spent a great deal trying to be that perfection as you mentioned for someone. I guess it's a whole other ball game to analyse the situation after in that my conclusion was there's really no sense in trying as hard as I did. Flip it around and years down the track I found myself wondering what if I just put in the right amount of effort?
Tell you what I still have no idea but my brain has happily adapted to the philosophy that I can never make mistakes, whatever happens usually just happens.
Over-analyzing is about control. The person sub-consciously believes that if they observe & dissect every single aspect of a person or situation, that it will somehow dictate control over how a situation/person plays out.
But the analyzer forgets 1 main important factor: YOUR analyzing has no control over THEIR actions. The only person you can control is yourself. Plus, you could also be wrong. Or the person you are dissecting could completely fall through the loophole & have sinister intentions w/o the analyzer even noticing or catching on. Which is why a lot of people who over-analyze tend to have a past where they got fooled, lied to or criticized a lot. The over-analyzing is a protection-mechanism
If a person's main sub-conscious incentive in over-analyzing is to somehow protect themselves from being fooled or to somewhat control the outcome of a situation, it can be a dead-end situation simply b/c they start trying to control someone/something other than themselves, which is impossible
But the analyzer forgets 1 main important factor: YOUR analyzing has no control over THEIR actions. The only person you can control is yourself. Plus, you could also be wrong. Or the person you are dissecting could completely fall through the loophole & have sinister intentions w/o the analyzer even noticing or catching on. Which is why a lot of people who over-analyze tend to have a past where they got fooled, lied to or criticized a lot. The over-analyzing is a protection-mechanism
If a person's main sub-conscious incentive in over-analyzing is to somehow protect themselves from being fooled or to somewhat control the outcome of a situation, it can be a dead-end situation simply b/c they start trying to control someone/something other than themselves, which is impossible
I don't think it's in the air... I have the same problem.
Sometimes I go out and I go a little far with drinking, and I do some stupid shit and my friends think it hilarious but when I wake up I feel bad because I should've been more careful and I shouldn't have done this or that. And everyone else had a GREAT time and don't even seem to care the slightest!
Hence the reason I stopped drinking, I have zero boundaries.
Sometimes I go out and I go a little far with drinking, and I do some stupid shit and my friends think it hilarious but when I wake up I feel bad because I should've been more careful and I shouldn't have done this or that. And everyone else had a GREAT time and don't even seem to care the slightest!
Hence the reason I stopped drinking, I have zero boundaries.
Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond! I'm glad I'm not the only one out there. I was laughing this morning, because it's almost like trying to fall asleep at night. You're exhausted, but can seem to get shut eye, so you keep thinking about trying not to think, so that you can sleep.
Instead, I'm thinking about not thinking so I can just relax and be. And yes, I've had those moments of drinking also, when your friends are wondering why I'm so worried about how I behaved, what I said or how I acted before.
I am hoping that the book I got helps me with managing my emotions. I also think that I just don't have a lot going on right now. So it is easy for me to focus on these silly things.
Instead, I'm thinking about not thinking so I can just relax and be. And yes, I've had those moments of drinking also, when your friends are wondering why I'm so worried about how I behaved, what I said or how I acted before.
I am hoping that the book I got helps me with managing my emotions. I also think that I just don't have a lot going on right now. So it is easy for me to focus on these silly things.
Isn't that ironic?!
The more you have going on, the more you have something to over-analyze. Yet the more bored you are b/c you have too much time on your hands, the more you over-analyze & over-think things. Even if there's nothing currently going on, you'll go back into your brain, dig & freakin' find something to over-analyze Smh Double-edged sword lol
The more you have going on, the more you have something to over-analyze. Yet the more bored you are b/c you have too much time on your hands, the more you over-analyze & over-think things. Even if there's nothing currently going on, you'll go back into your brain, dig & freakin' find something to over-analyze Smh Double-edged sword lol
Krysereen7: Totally!!! Life, sometimes you just have to shrug, smile and roll with it!
rachel must be content with her friends for now
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