@krysrenee7
18 Years5,000+ Posts
Doing the silent treatment is hard for me at 1st, for a few days at least. What motivates me though is the bs I had to tolerate from the person, that drives me until I no longer feel the space left by the person in my life. I adapt very quickly to any situation & given enough time I will forget them completely...that's if they don't pester me. Pestering is very annoying btw, especially when I've made it crystal clear that I don't want to communicate them or even see them anymore. It makes me angry because it messes up with my 'process'.
Posted by everevolvingepithet
*shrugs*
Isn't there 11 other signs and a whole world of people out there too though?
🙂
What do you mean? Just get to the point, nobody has time to read between the lines..it's sunday!
http://www.wikihow.com/Give-Someone-the-Silent-Treatment
Steps
1Before starting the silent treatment, ask yourself if you really want to do that. Giving silent treatment is a passive-aggressive behaviour, a form of emotional abuse. It is destructive to the relationship whether you want to distance yourself permanently or just temporarily. Like any punishment, it doesn't teach anything, only causes harm.
skip to number 8:
If you are ignoring your ex-boyfriend who cheated, kiss another hot man in front of his face, that will be the killer, he will even be more mad at the hot man at school!
----
they actually have this step by step to be one. lmao
Who cares about some step by step book, I go by instinct. They hurt ME & not the book or its author, so they'll deal with ME. I agree it's a passive-aggressive way of dealing with things, though. But it's still better than dealing with bs or talking. Talking can be tiring sometimes.
Posted by everevolvingepithet
Posted by WaterCup
Posted by everevolvingepithet
*shrugs*
Isn't there 11 other signs and a whole world of people out there too though?
🙂
What do you mean? Just get to the point, nobody has time to read between the lines..it's sunday!
Um it's quit clear there? :-?
click to expand
Whatever. NEXT
Posted by everevolvingepithet
*shrugs*
Isn't there 11 other signs and a whole world of people out there too though?
🙂
+1
I don't see myself dealing with the heavy atmosphere that silent treatment generates. Too emotionally draining for me, so I don't dish it nor I have the will or patience to deal with it.
So please don't count me in, k?
Posted by lisabethur8
http://www.wikihow.com/Give-Someone-the-Silent-Treatment
Steps1Before starting the silent treatment, ask yourself if you really want to do that. Giving silent treatment is a passive-aggressive behaviour, a form of emotional abuse. It is destructive to the relationship whether you want to distance yourself permanently or just temporarily. Like any punishment, it doesn't teach anything, only causes harm.
skip to number 8:
If you are ignoring your ex-boyfriend who cheated, kiss another hot man in front of his face, that will be the killer, he will even be more mad at the hot man at school!
----
they actually have this step by step to be one. lmao
This is only true for people who use the silent treatment as a means to emotionally hurt or manipulate others
I personally don't resort to the silent treatment unless I'm permanently done. Me being 100% done still hurts the other person b/c even when they mess up, they still somehow feel entitled to my time
When you mess up bad enough (deal-breakers only), I think it's unfair & unrealistic to still feel entitled to anything that person used to offer you (time, energy, conversation, sex, a relationship, etc.) You teach people how to treat you.
I think a lot more people would be emotionally sane if they had learned to completely walk away from continuous harm!
The silent treatment isn't something I enjoy. Trust me, I'm mad that I have to resort to it sometimes, BUT if it's necessary, it is what it is. Me being loyal to myself & not putting up with continuous harm is necessary too, & if that means you gotta go, so be it. Who cares that your heartbroken b/c I'm silent if you're not the real victim?!
Posted by lisabethur8
http://www.wikihow.com/Give-Someone-the-Silent-Treatment
Steps1Before starting the silent treatment, ask yourself if you really want to do that. Giving silent treatment is a passive-aggressive behaviour, a form of emotional abuse. It is destructive to the relationship whether you want to distance yourself permanently or just temporarily. Like any punishment, it doesn't teach anything, only causes harm.
skip to number 8:
If you are ignoring your ex-boyfriend who cheated, kiss another hot man in front of his face, that will be the killer, he will even be more mad at the hot man at school!
----
they actually have this step by step to be one. lmao
This is only true for people who use the silent treatment as a means to emotionally hurt or manipulate others
I personally don't resort to the silent treatment unless I'm permanently done. Me being 100% done still hurts the other person b/c even when they mess up, they still somehow feel entitled to my time
When you mess up bad enough (deal-breakers only), I think it's unfair & unrealistic to still feel entitled to anything that person used to offer you (time, energy, conversation, sex, a relationship, etc.) You teach people how to treat you.
I think a lot more people would be emotionally sane if they had learned to completely walk away from continuous harm!
The silent treatment isn't something I enjoy. Trust me, I'm mad that I have to resort to it sometimes, BUT if it's necessary, it is what it is. Me being loyal to myself & not putting up with continuous harm is necessary too, & if that means you gotta go, so be it. Who cares that your heartbroken b/c I'm silent if you're not the real victim?!
That's like the continuous criminal being upset b/c his azz finally goes to jail. There ARE consequences to things. If you mess up or commit deal breakers that you KNEW were deal breakers to that person, you have to suffer the consequences
To me the silent treatment isn't about sitting at home with popcorn & watching the other person squirm
For me, it represents cutting off what that person no longer deserves or is entitled to b/c they lost those privileges.
Posted by everevolvingepithet
Posted by Jizzusizjizzin
Posted by everevolvingepithet
*shrugs*
Isn't there 11 other signs and a whole world of people out there too though?
🙂
+1
Jesus in the house woot woot hi 5!🙂
click to expand
Hi 5 to you!
Posted by geminicandIe
Ugh, why do people do silent treatment seriously?
This kinda behavior drives me nuts!!! It's very bad for gemini to be on the receiving end because words are like air to us. And also, for me personally, my Leo moon and mars need attention and recognition and if those are lacking, it's the ultimate kiss of death in a relationship.Sadly, my Scorpio ex bf was the master of emotional manipulation and ice treatment was his PhD. It built up such resentment over time, that I vowed never to participate in such scenario again. Although sometimes I find myself doing it to people, because I learned it from the worst person who had a very dark cold Pluto soul.
That Pluto stuff is pretty powerful..Do you guys think it's ever justified to give silent treatment? What positive does it accomplished in the end?
Dunno. I guess the thrill of hurting someone can be so addictive. It makes you feel powerful or whatever.
if they don't want you in their lives, it is how it is. There is no compromising. That is the way it is with some people in the world. Infact, many people in the world. And there are people who just keep wanting toxicity in their lives. That's the stupidity of it all, in my honest opinion.
We're constantly getting relationship problems written up here on and off all through the years for example and again and again, the usual advice from everyone is get the hell out of it.
Posted by Jizzusizjizzin
Posted by geminicandIe
Ugh, why do people do silent treatment seriously?
This kinda behavior drives me nuts!!! It's very bad for gemini to be on the receiving end because words are like air to us. And also, for me personally, my Leo moon and mars need attention and recognition and if those are lacking, it's the ultimate kiss of death in a relationship.Sadly, my Scorpio ex bf was the master of emotional manipulation and ice treatment was his PhD. It built up such resentment over time, that I vowed never to participate in such scenario again. Although sometimes I find myself doing it to people, because I learned it from the worst person who had a very dark cold Pluto soul.
That Pluto stuff is pretty powerful..Do you guys think it's ever justified to give silent treatment? What positive does it accomplished in the end?
Dunno. I guess the thrill of hurting someone can be so addictive. It makes you feel powerful or whatever.
click to expand
the only ones hurting is those who cannot let go of toxicity.
yup
Usually, I am on the receiving end of the Aqua silent treatment because I am challenging them on one of their cutting edge theories. By challenging, I mean asking questions that would require a deeper discussion of theory. Unfortunately, my enthusiasm is taken for mockery and thus the silent treatment is inflicted upon me. Generally, I won't even notice that they are ignoring me for a couple of months because my schedule is pretty hectic. Of course, then the Aqua will think that I am playing some game and they will reach out to me a bit perturbed that I am not blowing up their phone in an effort to check on them. Sometimes, and Aqua just needs to hide out in their proverbial cave for awhile. 🙂
Posted by lisabethur8
if they don't want you in their lives, it is how it is. There is no compromising. That is the way it is with some people in the world. Infact, many people in the world. And there are people who just keep wanting toxicity in their lives. That's the stupidity of it all, in my honest opinion.We're constantly getting relationship problems written up here on and off all through the years for example and again and again, the usual advice from everyone is get the hell out of it.
Exactly. That's always my reasoning as an Aqua behind me giving someone the silent treatment
I'm aware that some people use it as a means to control or manipulate a situation in their favor. I DON'T though
I don't agree with giving someone the silent treatment more than once if you're not permanently done. BUT if you are permanently done, how arrogant are you to honestly be upset & still feel entitled to my time, energy, body & conversation?!
I find it ironic that the people who hurt others are always shocked, surprised & feel they are the true victim all b/c someone was STRONG enough (not manipulative enough) to finally say enough is enough!
I also find it ironic that the minute people feel they are getting the silent treatment, they THEMSELVES become manipulative & try all the tricks in the world to wheel that person in! But wait, I thought they hated "manipulation—" Bull
The people trying to wheel back in the person who gave them the silent treatment is far more manipulative!!
Reverse psychology is manipulative
Thinking you still deserve someone's time, energy, body & conversation after YOU f'd up is manipulative & just as dead wrong as the person giving you the silent treatment
Pulling out all the tricks to get someone to come back to you before they are good & damn ready is manipulative
Trying to guilt or pressure someone into "getting over" something before they are ready is manipulative
Trying to act like a person is the worst person in the world all b/c they were STRONG ENOUGH to stop dealing with your sh**t is manipulative!
These are all of the things that tight-lipped people have to deal with the moment they become silent. So no disrespect, but I'm not really in the mood to be accused of being manipulative when the person trying to get me back is probably using 1,000 manipulative tricks to get me to talk to them, be around them or invest in them again!
But wait, no one wants to talk about those things though!!!
I'm actually doing my silent treatment now!
My date decided that trying to make me jealous would be a great idea after we had an awesome weekend together, to bad for her I don't do jealousy, it's in or out.
Now it's getting kinda stalky from her point.
She made me open up for the first time in 5 years, and screwed up.
Now I'm out, no more attention for you!
Krys its too early in the morning to talk about how deadly you guys can be! LOL
Im reaing this as I sip my Vanilla Chai!
and I want to throw it up!!! *gag*
But then You guys come back like NOThING HAPPENED!
I can do it if push comes to shove but it will be my last recourse. If I have been pushed to that point, it's the beginning of the end.
Posted by feby16aqua
I usually just shut down though, I'm still around but all of the love and attention is on hold until either: I get over it or you make me laugh...a lot 🙂
I'm like this. If you make me laugh, it's all over and behind us. Unfortunately, my charming, 16 year old Aries son has learned this trick.
Hmmm... I'm not particularly good at the silent treatment. I may not be as responsive for a few days or hours if someone did something that upset me, but that is the extent of it... then I fold. If someone is trying to push my buttons or get a rise out of me.... I will go silent until they get over it and stop acting like a child.
However, thought I am VERY tolerant and loyal to a fault, if I lose interest in someone, or if someone has hurt me just too much... it's out of my control, my switch flips. I block you from email, cell phone... everything, and I don't look back. Sometimes that's almost too easy it's scary, but at the same time I am able to justify it, because that is usually the point that I have nothing left to give, and it was that person's bad to have let it gotten that far to begin with. I can only control my behavior.
Oh, but I do not do the silent treatment intentionally to be spiteful and to get someone back for something... who has time for that, and I hate it when someone does that to me. If I give you space for a minute, hour or day (it hardly is ever longer, and yes... like mentioned from Feb16 and Truecap, if you make me laugh...it's over), it's because you've upset me, and my mind isn't in a clear place to express myself rationally and without saying something that I don't mean.
The silent treatment and cutting ties from someone who wronged you are two different things, IMO. One is often necessary, one is always childish. But I have experienced the aquarian silent treatment and it is more silly than deadly because you can usually see/feel them struggling not to talk to you lol!
right
so true Krys, if they've been warned and still nothing changes...their loss
Posted by ANRivas
The silent treatment and cutting ties from someone who wronged you are two different things, IMO. One is often necessary, one is always childish. But I have experienced the aquarian silent treatment and it is more silly than deadly because you can usually see/feel them struggling not to talk to you lol!
lol well that's b/c most of the time when we think we're completely done, we're really not. But again, that's only if you do the small things to piss us off. And we don't put distance there to intentionally be childish. We do it b/c we have to calm our nerves to prevent us from slapping the piss out of you! lol
But when it comes to a deal breaker, nope. When we say we're done, we actually believe what we're saying in the moment. Even if we come back 2 years later, we really did mean it when we said "F off" lol
I just think it's highly hypocritical for a person to be upset that you need space or distance from them after they've pissed you off on a higher level
If I personally messed up & hurt someone, I'd do myself & them a favor & leave them the hell alone until they are good & damn ready to come. I wouldn't accuse them of being dramatic or manipulative or childish. When you mess up, things change. You lose something, even if it's just time or conversation with that person. That's life.
Just b/c some people aren't strong enough to walk away when it's time doesn't mean that Aquarians should get a bad rep for having the will power to. We understand that love is not enough. If we love you but yet everything else has gone to hell, we won't hold on.
Holding on means we're manipulating ourselves. And the people who hate being manipulated themselves surely wouldn't like manipulation of self either right?! lol =)
I'm actually not good at the silent treatment unless the other person does something so heinous that I'm like Damn, that was f****k up. Problem is I know it's soooo messed up but it takes me a couple of days to realize just how messed up it really was. During that time of thinking I've gone quiet, which is never a good sign. When I finally do realize the severity of the situation and start the silent treatment the other person is in shock because said incident happened x number of days ago.
Posted by krysrenee7
I just think it's highly hypocritical for a person to be upset that you need space or distance from them after they've pissed you off on a higher levelIf I personally messed up & hurt someone, I'd do myself & them a favor & leave them the hell alone until they are good & damn ready to come. I wouldn't accuse them of being dramatic or manipulative or childish. When you mess up, things change. You lose something, even if it's just time or conversation with that person. That's life.
Just b/c some people aren't strong enough to walk away when it's time doesn't mean that Aquarians should get a bad rep for having the will power to. We understand that love is not enough. If we love you but yet everything else has gone to hell, we won't hold on.
Holding on means we're manipulating ourselves. And the people who hate being manipulated themselves surely wouldn't like manipulation of self either right?! lol =)
Amen.
Posted by krysrenee7
I just think it's highly hypocritical for a person to be upset that you need space or distance from them after they've pissed you off on a higher levelIf I personally messed up & hurt someone, I'd do myself & them a favor & leave them the hell alone until they are good & damn ready to come. I wouldn't accuse them of being dramatic or manipulative or childish. When you mess up, things change. You lose something, even if it's just time or conversation with that person. That's life.
Just b/c some people aren't strong enough to walk away when it's time doesn't mean that Aquarians should get a bad rep for having the will power to. We understand that love is not enough. If we love you but yet everything else has gone to hell, we won't hold on.
Holding on means we're manipulating ourselves. And the people who hate being manipulated themselves surely wouldn't like manipulation of self either right?! lol =)
Im a victim of this. I nag, and force things out of them when they go on this haitus...
and I say all of these things! smh All people ask for is space I always take it the wrong way.
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Deadly lol
It can be felt from 50 miles away
Even if you aren't aware that we're this upset with you, you can almost feel it before the silent treatment even starts
It'll have you feeling like you're the worst person in the world; it even shakes up & throws off the biggest narcissists who normally aren't affected by much lol It'll have you questioning everything about yourself. Next thing you know, you're asking your friends if you're the worst person in the world, even though you might've actually just done something minor/small.
It'll have you having panic/anxiety attacks
We literally strip you of all communication, all energy & all time that we used to give you. Not as a means of being emotionally manipulative but b/c we warned you in the beginning that we're either all in or all out.
And if you choose not to listen or thought we were just kidding, that's your fault lol
If you choose to make a bad decision or hurt us enough to push us to being "all out," don't be somewhere in shock & like a battered sheep when you get cut off! Our silent treatment is almost worse than the actual breakup lol
I feel sorry for those who do an Aquarian wrong! Just as much as it's natural to hate being ignored, it's just as "natural" to an Aquarian to feel the strong urge to say F off when you've hurt them. When you've got 1 person whose natural reaction to betrayal is to gravitate TOWARDS the other person, & 1 person whose natural reaction is to run the furthest AWAY from the other person, that's a BADDDDD BADDD BADDD situation; SOMEBODY is gonna get hurt & feel like complete & utter sh**t
The silent treatment is the worst EVER! Hehe