Seriously Need Help, Please i really beg of you al

I keep posting with no answers here. I've been with my Aqua for 2 years. I love him with my whole heart and I have always let him have hsi time (they need that, emotional bubble thing, lol). He wants a break, he says he doesn't know why he is unhappy in life and what he wants. He said he started feeling this way when he started working his job and we woeren't together as much. I feel like if I could just spend an evening with him then he would see the love we have, but he is so hard headed. I don't understand. I need help here.. I mean geesh.. he was talking marriage before all this. some please help. i don't mean 4 sentences, like ask me questions and i'll answer.. i will do anything to do what i can to make this work that is healthy.. but i need help on what's going on inside his head. People my heart is so broken here, and I'm not young. I'm just lost on where his thoughts are and he won't let me in this time, well.. not as much as I'd like.

Posted by sweetkitty86
I keep posting with no answers here. I've been with my Aqua for 2 years. I love him with my whole heart and I have always let him have hsi time (they need that, emotional bubble thing, lol). He wants a break, he says he doesn't know why he is unhappy in life and what he wants. He said he started feeling this way when he started working his job and we woeren't together as much. I feel like if I could just spend an evening with him then he would see the love we have, but he is so hard headed. I don't understand. I need help here.. I mean geesh.. he was talking marriage before all this. some please help. i don't mean 4 sentences, like ask me questions and i'll answer.. i will do anything to do what i can to make this work that is healthy.. but i need help on what's going on inside his head. People my heart is so broken here, and I'm not young. I'm just lost on where his thoughts are and he won't let me in this time, well.. not as much as I'd like.

manipulate the situation. be clever. it sounds underhanded but some of these guys need persuasion and clever tactics.
it's what you do when you deal with aquarius men.(so astrologers like to say too) all in the name of love of course. take a lesson from cardinal signs, because of their leadership abilities and clever tactics. it's easy to catch one and keep one for awhile, but uranus is tricky and doesn't like to be controlled, suffocated. he'll only like it /love it once he is deep in love with you.

to be truthful, he is still a man, and men like to have security in his life: money, house, bills set in order, all the neccessities. also, if he's unhappy, he needs a shake up, or an awakening.

p.s. are you a leo? it says kitty on your username and nothing on your profile.
i'm guessing leo. if you're a leo female, you shouldnt have any problems. aquarius men usually love strong, confident, women (statistically speaking)

i was reading in an article about christian bale's comment on his wife, how she is so courageous and strong and puts him in his place that he has stars in his eyes. it could also be, because his moon sign matches her sun sign and venus/mars works in tandem.

and how do i manipulate this when we don't live together, and seeing him for 15 minutes once a week is hard. i've never been a game player. lol throw me some tips here, because i do wan to play ball. everyone is saying.. he has full control of the situation and i need to switch the hand, but i don't really know how.

Posted by sweetkitty86
and how do i manipulate this when we don't live together, and seeing him for 15 minutes once a week is hard. i've never been a game player. lol throw me some tips here, because i do wan to play ball. everyone is saying.. he has full control of the situation and i need to switch the hand, but i don't really know how.

lol i 'm not a game player either.
so i dont have any game tips. like i said, be aggressive, confident and be genuine... if he's still stuck in a rut, tell him you're closing the door on him and mean it. he'll think you're one aggravating frustrating woman who doesn't care about his needs, but some of these men come crawling anyway cause they love strength.
tell him 15 mins? what the hell is this? some kind of 15 min. window shoppe girl?

note, i dont know your man, at all, you should be able to know how he is since you said he has all the control.

the problems i have.. we don't work together, we works a lot, we don't live together, and things seem to be on his terms.. my only plus usually is he is a jealous boy with no confidence and confused in life. now putting that into a workable situation, i don't know. he is very easily influenced.. not by me.. but his friends and therapist.

Posted by sweetkitty86
the problems i have.. we don't work together, we works a lot, we don't live together, and things seem to be on his terms.. my only plus usually is he is a jealous boy with no confidence and confused in life. now putting that into a workable situation, i don't know. he is very easily influenced.. not by me.. but his friends and therapist.

yeah that's the problem. sorry to hear he's easily influenced. it means he thinks very big of what others think.

i mean that's nice to follow the crowd and be one of them and integrate with society and understand how others feel/think and be accepted. but, he's unhappy because he's probably not "awakened", or shaken up by uranus (when i say that, he's not transforming, and it's safer to stay in a cocoon, because it's scary out there for some people).

you just have to be the one to tell him what you feel, and tell him that he's easily influenced by others. he'll probably think about this, and realize that he's being a follower and that usually doesn't sit well with aqua.

haha you got that right! i didnt point blank tell him that during the break convo, but hinted i felt he looked up to and listened to these guys. i got the automatic defense on all that and thought to myself "why did i even say this? i knew this would happen". i really do love him and if he wants to find himself i understand, but to keep me hanging is, just mean. i'm flip flopping daily on what to do. i keep hoping something will smack him in the head and he will go "oh crap, she may leave me! she has that choice!" but i'm not sure if they work that way

Posted by sweetkitty86
haha you got that right! i didnt point blank tell him that during the break convo, but hinted i felt he looked up to and listened to these guys. i got the automatic defense on all that and thought to myself "why did i even say this? i knew this would happen". i really do love him and if he wants to find himself i understand, but to keep me hanging is, just mean. i'm flip flopping daily on what to do. i keep hoping something will smack him in the head and he will go "oh crap, she may leave me! she has that choice!" but i'm not sure if they work that way

back.

use your intuition too.

what placements do your aqua have? in astrology it is very important.
aquas are ruled by saturn and uranus, and if you get a good idea of capricorns, they're similar to both capricorns and pisces. very dreamy, head up in the clouds, and also very stable. shake him up somewhat.

well hope that works. i saw your post crying out help me and how desperate you are. but there aren't many aquas here to post/comment i noticed.

i guess i'll have to research.. thanks for all ur help.. i really can't thank u enough. his chart:
Sun Aquarius 12.02
Moon Aquarius 8.54
Mercury Capricorn 19.39
Venus Capricorn 8.30
Mars Scorpio 10.34
Jupiter Capricorn 2.44
Saturn Scorpio 15.56
Uranus Sagittarius 12.40
Neptune Capricorn 0.27
Pluto Scorpio 2.08
Lilith Pisces 5.47
Asc node Gemini 14.13

as i read i wonder if i could date anyone who seems more complicated at the moment. haha

Posted by sweetkitty86
as i read i wonder if i could date anyone who seems more complicated at the moment. haha

lol dont be so wishy washy. you're funny.

aqua men sound so annoying, i dont know how some of you can date them haha.
but oh well i'm biased with my own man.

i'm sun aquarius and venus capricorn like your guy. i'm sure he is very loyal/faithful, but sounds like he is not ready for a relationship, or at least not ready to put effort into one, and that's not fair to you. but he is not keeping you in the relationship, you are keeping yourself there. he is making his own decisions and following his own direction, so should you.

Can you tell us what your relationship is like?
Who usually calls the shots?
Who makes the effort to call?
Who is IN the relationship more than the other?
What does he have going on in his life?
What do you have going on in yours?
Are you making plans for any further than next week?
Really need some more info before we can be of much help 🙂

I feel like if I could just spend an evening with him then he would see the love we have, but he is so hard headed.

What do you mean by this? How is he being hard headed?

Never look back. This guy isn't worth it.

PS: sorry for 2 sentences above only. Too short maybe but that's life.

Posted by NZAqua
Can you tell us what your relationship is like?
Who usually calls the shots?
Who makes the effort to call?
Who is IN the relationship more than the other?
What does he have going on in his life?
What do you have going on in yours?
Are you making plans for any further than next week?
Really need some more info before we can be of much help 🙂

Well we were friends for a long time and then we started dating for 2 years. We have had some really rough spots but always made it through it. He usually calls most of the shots, he is the baby of the family and things usually need to go his way or the high way, though I did find that sometimes I could reason with him. He used to make more of an effort to call.. I'd test it sometimes, and if I didn't call within a couple days, he would always call and want to see me. We spent a lot of time together, sometimes everyday, though there were times we didn't see each other for a couple weeks. We could end each other sentences and usually were thinking the same thing. Right now in his life he is working 12 hr days, his mom has MS, and he is working on fixing up his parents house to sell. He is unhappy and insecure a lot, and seeing a consuler. He used to have a drug problem, but has been clean for years. In my life, my aunt found out she was going to die, and my grandma went to the hospital, and shit was going crazy for like a week.. but I handled it, and now.. this is really the only stress. I love him a whole lot, and now that this break has been called, he never tries to talk to me. Oh, like maybe a week before he called the break I put on his profile that he was my best friend and i was lucky to have my best friend as my boyfriend for 2 years.. I put it up because this girl has been leaving a lot of "i miss u xoxo" and "u are so sexy, wish i could just see u

Posted by Capriquoise
I feel like if I could just spend an evening with him then he would see the love we have, but he is so hard headed.

What do you mean by this? How is he being hard headed?

If he decides something is going to be a certain way, it IS that way. No if ands or buts. We hadn't seen each other prior to the break for 3 weeks, and he said that he started feeling this way when he didn't see me as much. I feel like if we could just spend a an evening not talking about all this, but just hanging out, going somewhere.. maybe he would see "yeah, no i really do want to be with her for sure." and we have been rocky before, and we have just put the problem on the shelf for a night, then hung out with each other, and picked the problem up a different night.. and it resolved a lot quicker.

@sweetkitty86, are you a YES girl? You say he's the one controlling the relationship right? Are you ALWAYS there when he needs/wants you? It's his way or the highway? Hmmmmmmm...no compromise whatsoever? Do you even have an opinion about what & how YOU feel about that?

lol i do, but like i said... his way or the highway. we compromise to fit that i'm ok a lot. it's only when we fight though, which honestly is rarely. we USUALLY agree on prtty much everything, so the compromise when i was agry didn't see too much because we got along more than fought, and usually we agreed on everything. that is why i'm hung up!

"manipulate the situation. be clever. it sounds underhanded but some of these guys need persuasion and clever tactics.
it's what you do when you deal with aquarius men"

WOW!!! this is wrong on more then one level..Do this and I almost promise you, you will be worst off then you are now..

Step back, he is not happy within and there is no way he can be happy in a relationship until he becomes happy with himself and his situation..He may or may not be the man for you. I would allow time to prove that to me and not
manipulate him to find out. Let this happen naturally..For now though its really nothing you can do,but let him know that you really care and love him and wish him the best. He has to figure this out for himself..If its meant to be for you guys nothing will come in between that. Dealing with Aqua men and relationships you really just have to hope that you are the one and leave it at that..

Posted by sweetkitty86
I feel like if I could just spend an evening with him then he would see the love we have, but he is so hard headed.

Sounds like you want to convince him - that will never work. He is probably feeling pressured. Once we get into a convincing mode, we lose all attraction they have for us and come across as needy (which is a MAJOR turn off). My advice is stop calling him. Stop texting him. Go out with someone else - when they see that other men want us (and if they don't step up they will lose us) that makes us more attractive to them. Keep your confidence and self esteem up. Stop obsessing over him. Make plans with friends. When he does want to have contact, respond, but not quickly. Say "I got your text/call but I was at a class/with my girlfriend/visiting my parents/etc and didn't see it until much later. What's up?". Same if he wants to get together - "would love to but I can't Thursday, I have yoga class, can we make it another night?". Still shows you are interested, but you are busy. DON'T MAKE IT A GAME!! He will see through it. Be sincere - really be doing those things. I promise, it will show him you are NOT waiting around for him and you have a life without him. It will make you more attractive. Seems like to me that you have lost yourself - get yourself back! I know you love him, but you have to have your own life, and he needs to see that.

Hope it works out for you!

yeah i suck at manipulation but i'm trying to help. the other women in different signs seem to know how to grab the men with ease, so i'm guessing there's subterfuge going on in the dating scene these days. yeah so hope for the best! sigh.

Posted by sweetkitty86
lol i do, but like i said... his way or the highway. we compromise to fit that i'm ok a lot. it's only when we fight though, which honestly is rarely. we USUALLY agree on prtty much everything, so the compromise when i was agry didn't see too much because we got along more than fought, and usually we agreed on everything. that is why i'm hung up!

WRONG THING TO DO. You should NEVER be a yes girl. Fuck his way all the time. What about YOUR way? That's what I mean by compromise. Don't always be available for him. You're too available so he knows he got you in his palm. He can call you whenever & you come running. A guy will never respect that be it Aqua or not & he will surely take you for granted, therefore you'll end up feeling used.

Someone mentioned you going out enjoying yourself. RIGHT THING TO DO. Don't focus so much on him. Let his calls go unanswered to voicemail, or just don't answer back so quickly. Get a life outside of his & he will be sooooooo much more interested. Trust. Allow him to come to you & make an effort for you. Don't give him more than he's giving you or you'll be drained. Make his ass work for you & I promise you it will get better, that is if it's not too late. 🙂

Don't ever beg or feel that you need to take drastic measures to keep someone's love! Nobody is worth that much except for your mom. Lol. If someone doesn't want you, have enough self-respect and dignity for yourself to leave them be. Besides that's a turn on for an aqua, so he may just come back seeing how much class you have.

Posted by everevolvingepithet
That's good advice, I hate feeling like a prisoner in my own home so to speak lololol.

?? I love my home to be honest. Why don't you love yours? If not, go outside.

except outside is like this:

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Art thou the type for snowy weather, lisabethur8?

I'll be polite as possible. but you are kind of bothering me. I'm MARRIED. Some of these guys on this forum don't go around talking to me and they KNOW their boundaries. If they do talk to me it's curt and short. Or they ignore me, and that's good.

I'm sorry if i'm offending you, eee. But please respect that. There are single women on this forum you can bother. If i have to leave because there are men bothering me and lacking boundaries, then I'll leave.

🙂

thanks, eee

Hmmmm

Posted by DazedScorp
Wtf was that about?

LoL ya I was entertained too

LOL some people are just too darn funny

Posted by feb16aqua
Lisabeth! You are so funny! 🙂 🙂 There is something definitely in the air today, just waiting to see how it strikes me as well.

why are these men congregating here? UGH.

It's like in real life, they swarm all the freaking time.

J/k guys. Well it's not really in real life, they are annoying. Even a freaking wedding ring doesn't stop them.

there's that episode on "How I met your Mother" where Robin is engaged, and when she puts on the engagement ring, all the men in her path IGNORE her or make her pay for her coffee LOL!
when she takes it off, all the men congregate around her and swarm and dance and sing, and give her free donuts and coffee.

it's hilarious!!! Then when she puts it back on, even the bartender ignores her! LOL

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Were you a turn taker?

Turn? Hmmmm

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Hmmm

english sense of humor? or am I the only one in the dark? If so need to find a candle so i dont walk into a wall.

Half my family still lives there. When they visit thier humor is a trip.

Hoping to visit my over sea family this summer or next. So ill be able to see that for myself.