so confused about my aqua guy

Hello, I came across this board by accident and have enjoyed the message boards and thought maybe I can gain some insight on my situation. Here it goes......I am seeing an aqua and I am a sag. We were togetehr for year and we broke up because he wasn't in the same place I was. When I met him he was coming off of a 5 year relationship with someone he cared for very much. Long story short I guess I was a rebound but he never treated me that way and when they broke up he ended it because he wasn't happy. Well anyway over the last 2 months we have be communicating and started to hang out a least once a week. He initiated it but by delima is I still love him, always have but knew he wasn't over her and he needed to deal with that before we could move on. Now that we are seeing each other again I want us to get back together but don't know if it is to soon to ask for that. We have hung out about 7 times and we have been intimate but I can tell that he is not ready to just jump right back in. I feel like I call him more than he calls me and I feel like lately I have been initiating things more. I don't know how many other people his seeing and he hasn't asked me either. But I know that if you push to hard with him he has a tendency to withdrawal and I don't want that to happen. He told he regrets letting me go but felt it was neccessary in order for him to deal with that breakup.I just don't know if he is feeling me like that because he doesn't call all time . but when we our together I can see it in his eyes that he still cares and by the way we are together but I think he wants to take it slow and develop a deeper friendshhip. Honestly, he told me that he and his x were really good friends, and that he felt our relationship was lacking a little because he felt we should have better friends. I honestly feel that I was great friend to him but that he would only allow me to get but so close because emotionally he just wasn't available because he was really devasted when that relationship didn't work out. I don't know what to do, I wants things to progress naturally but i feel like he does everything so slow. Just don't know if he really wants me ! What should I Do ?

"but when we our together I can see it in his eyes that he still cares and by the way we are together but I think he wants to take it slow and develop a deeper friendshhip."

-you pretty much answered yourself right there. if you want to develop something meaningful with this guy, just take it slow...day by day. and yes, build a strong friendship as you go along b/c it will have great potential to turn into something more eventually. and if you can feel that he still cares by the way he looks at you, then believe in that b/c his eyes and the way he looks at you will tell a lot!!!

I understand what you guys are saying but I guess I feel uneasy because I don't know if there is someone else in his life or if he is just looking at this as something to do. He already admitted that he usaully never goes backwords but also that he always felt our timing was wrong before. i just don't know if it is to soon to be putting expectations on him. sometimes I do have to remind myself that we are not offically back together and the problem is that I just don't like this man, I am truly deeply in love with him and I know that was the problem before. He wasn't there, he was still in love with someone else. i asked him if he was over that situation and he said he felt that he was almost there. i haven't told him that I never stopped loving him but honestly i don't think I have too, he knows.

thanks you guys, i guess i do need to relax but I guess I am just scared a little. he doesn't express his feelings much unless i ask. Plus he still talks to his x and I feel like he will never really get over that until he completely shuts that down. I don't think that he should stop be friends with her but he told me that he has never felt that deeply for someone and I am like you will never get over that completely if you are still talking to her often. I honestly don't know how often they talk but just know that they do. Its crazy because I became really good friends with his friends and they told me that out of all the girls he dated I was the one they all felt was the best suited the best everything for him. His best friend told him that he was a fool to let me go. I just understood that his relationship with his x was always about..... her her her ! I think that he is scared because he gave so much to that relationship and it didn't work out.

i can relate completely b/c my aqua and i were together for 2 years and then he broke up with me out of nowhere...to this day i don't exactly know why, but i have a pretty good guess. anyway, he came back to me after 4 months of being apart...and now we are together again and very happy with one another.
starfish is absolutely right...if it is meant to be, it will be. if not, there is nothing you can do about it. so just take it day by day and be thankful for each day you spend together...that is how i look at it with my aqua.
and, i do believe i touched his heart in a BIG way...in a way that nobody has ever touched it before.

like I feel like he is back in around about way ( he so wasn't like I f up and want you back , he says things here and there.I had know idea he even regretted it until recently. but when we broke up he would reach out through email of course over stupid stuff just to initiate contact with me, because i just stop speaking to him.

Starfish, you are so right. How long do you wait ? I mean I am only seeing other people because i know that I have to keep my options open. But i guess I thought for him to come back, he would because he finally knew what he wanted. And it still seems like he is confused. I feel like he knows I am a good ass women but he is still not quite there yet.

"I have Aqua radar and I know and it took me a long time, but I know all the silent signs that they put out when they really like a gal..I can read what they can't say.."

so fill us in a bit!!! what are some of the silent signs—

He doesn't call that much, the last three times we hung out i initated it and i don't mind because i go after what I want in everyway. I mean when I call he is always receptive but sometimes i feel like and idiot , like I am chasing him but i'm not. I don't call him everyday but sometimes I feel like if I don't call who knows when I will hear from him. His schedule is crazy, but for instance I want to see him sometime over the weekend , but i want him to initiate it. Last weekend I purposely didn't call to see if he would and he didn't so I called Monday and we talked and he came over Tuesday. But when we were together offically he called everyday. i wish he would call more but i don't want to say anything about it. I find him sometimes holding back, what I mean is we are both very affectionate people and last time we were together he wasn't as affectionate and I felt like he was stopping hisself from being that way , because we have this crazy chemistry and we can very easliy end up in bed together. It hasn't happened everytime but lets just say that is definitley not one of our problems. i guess i feel like he is not that into me because he doesn't call as much and I feel sometimes if I wait on him i might not see him for weeks.

"Moonchild We talked the other day I told you, Their behavior towards you. Their body language how weird they act around you the dumb stuff they do. Staring through you not at you. If they cannot keep their hands off you.."

-yeah, that describes how my aqua is around me...he is always teasing me, pushing my buttons, acting silly, etc. and he cannot keep his hands off me, even in public sometimes!

Unusualcancer, I did let him do the initiating the first three times we hung out, but yes lately it has been me. say for instance he doesn't ask to hang out for like two weeks or something, its like of course I want to see him but i also struggle with always being availabe when he calls but then you feel like if I don't seem him now lord knows when he might ask again plus he travels alot for work.

starfish...yeah, i catch my aqua guy staring at me alot...and then i say "why are you looking at me like that?". and his response is, "what, i can't look at you?". but, it's like he has this wierd stare going on and i just know there is something going on in his head...he just doesn't tell me!

And when he does call, then you need to suggest doing things that DO NOT involve going back to his place and your place. Do only things that involve doing interesting things OUTSIDE and then you cut the day/evening short and say you must leave.

-ABSOLUTELY!!! crushbuddy, please take this advice from unusualcancer.
when my aqua and i got back together a little over 2 months ago, that is exactly what i did. i did not spend the night with him for 1 1/2 months and i did not do anything more than kiss him for 2 months. i told him i wanted to take it really slow and get to know each other more than anything. so, we would go on dates for a long time. he would come to my house and pick me up, go to dinner or a movie or have some drinks and just talk...A LOT!!! and then he would take me home at the end of the night. and, it was REALLY weird b/c we were together for 2 years prior to that...but i knew it was the right way to go about it. i used my head instead of heart to guide me in the right direction...and he respected it completely!

Gotcha ! I think the reason why it is sooo hard for me sometimes to just sit back is because i am in love with him. My emotions I feel are alot deeper than his, because he never opened hisself up completely to us when we were a couple because he still was hurting.

problem is, how do you sustain that type of attachment in the relationship— i did it for 2 months, but now i am spending the night and having him spend the night and we are once again acting like a couple, as we were before. i mean, it is inevitable that you become comfortable with one another eventually and the "dates" and getting to know one another starts to fade away...
unusualcancer, i am hoping you can answer this for me!!!

Starfish, I am a sag. I know what your saying, I really do. I have just never been good at the whole playings games thing. Probably because i don't like too. He is 35 and I just wonder sometimes if he really has commitment issues.

crushbuddy...you have to play it cool with him. don't let think you are worried and don't let him see that you are over analyzing evertyhing. it's not about playing games though, you have to be yourself with him...but you must play it cool. the more nonchalant you seem, the better his reaction will be and the better your relationship will be with him. the more you worry, the more he will back away. the more you push for something to happen, the more he will back away...

unusalcancer, I don't think it is just about sex because out of the 7 times we saw each other we had sex 3 times, and the last time I initiated it. I do agree that we should do things outside of going to each other places. He was over the other day and we just hung and talked and watched movies nothing happened. When he as initiated us seeing each other we have always gone out.

unusualcancer...i did already suggest to him the we should have a "date" night once a week, but he has been busy with work lately and out of town for work so it has been a little difficult. and we have been going out still, but it doesn't have that same "date" feel that it used to, probably because of the comfort level. he is really into mountain biking and he wanted me to start riding with him, but i think it is better for him to do that with the guys...it is his time to be spent with the guys and i don't want to take that away from him (not to mention it is an expensive hobby that i do not have the money for right now!)...however, i did suggest that we go hiking on the weekends, maybe designate every Sunday, for example...and he agreed, so we have talked about that before. it's just hard b/c things come up at the last minute all the time either with me or him...and he is not the planning type of person. he is very last minute on his plans!

Starfish, i do think are situations are very similar. I am going to pull back a little and see what happens. He has know idea that I analyze things like this or worry about are relationship because I do not go to him about the things I am concerned about. but I guess the only way for me to find out is to pull back some.

oh no....we go out all the time, so when we do stay home and relax, it actually feels really good!!! i don't know, i guess i miss our "dates" as in being on more of a friendship level, and having that feeling of getting to really know one another all over again.

he commits his time to me...he is not at all a flake, but he is just not much of a planner. so i am usually the one doing the planning, but it is hard b/c he never knows what his schedule will be like (mostly b/c of work) until the last minute.

i like being comfortable with him, but i guess i kinda liked that feeling of awkwardness after not seeing each other for 4 months! it was like we had just met all over again, like the whole thing was new and fresh...i love that!!! oh well, it was fun while it lasted.
he is out of town for a few days, so it will be nice to have my own space...but it will also be nice to see him again when he comes back home! and he may be moving across country in january for work, but he is not sure of it yet. i think that will not only strengthen our relationship, but also help him to grow as a person big time. i have a feeling though that he may decide to stay here and not go through with it, although i hope he does b/c it would benefit him greatly...

seems like you aqua is in better spirits, huh? he must really like to go up 2 flights of stairs on crutches!!! mine is still wearing a velcrow strap thing on his wrist b/c he sprained it 3 weeks ago...

*he must really like YOU to go up 2 flights of stairs on crutches 🙂