the return of the aqua

background story.

Im leo, he's aqua. early twenties, been friends for 6 years. this year we started casually sleeping together whilst still keeping the friend vibe.. I kept my guard up because i didnt want to get hurt/I dont know how to be with someone intimately. But we've always had a lot of chemistry.. anyway it lasted 4 months. Then it fizzled and saw him with another girl. I was fine, it secretly hurt but didnt show it. We've bumped into eachother a few times recently and its been friendly. Now he's texting me again, wanting to hang out after almost two months of nothing. What on earth is his deal. am i all of a sudden an interest again? or is he rekindling friendship.. everytime i seem to almost move on, he pops up again.

I'd just chalk it up to when there's a new shiny there's a new shiny. Some friends are good at keeping contact when they're interested in someone, some... well... they sort of get consumed by the passion.

It doesn't have to mean anything.

Woah,is it that fast for an Aqua to get another girl ?Sorry !I'm not an Aqua but I'm curious with it,I'm a Leo too

Is he still with the other girl?

Maybe that didn't work out and he would like the "benefits" of your friendship again. I would maintain the friendship but not go back to the benefits. That way you'll know whether he really wants to be friends with you or if he just wants to enjoy the benefits until he finds another girl.

Not basing this on his aquarius trait, but it is a typical unevolved 20s male trait.

I'm just saying that because if you start sleeping with him again and then he does the same thing, it will hurt you even more when he starts dating someone else.

Well if he considered you a real friend, he would've still kept you around despite him starting new relations with new girls. All he would've had to do was stop the sex aspect of it so that he'd be respecting any new women by being strictly platonic with you.

Last time I checked, people don't disappear from or toss out their real friends just b/c they start seeing someone new

Sounds like you were way more into him than he was you. He probably did like you but not enough to see you as anything more. When he met a new girl, she sparked his interest, which explains why he suddenly disappeared on you.

Things probably didn't work out between them so now he's back to you. These situations are so typical, common & classic. Guy uses a girl up for all she's got, disappears the minute he finds better/more prey, then comes back to her as Plan B the minute his other situations ended. The original girl thinks that she must be special since he came back, but conveniently forgets that if she was so special to him, he would've never disappeared to begin with

Don't automatically assume that you're special to him unless he's being adamant about committing to you. Remember, sex for men is different than it is for women.

A man can screw you for 6 years & still not allow his emotions to get too deep or still not see you as long-term potential. Whereas women can't usually hang that long w/o eventually catching feelings & expecting more.

Posted by LittleRainbow
Woah,is it that fast for an Aqua to get another girl ?Sorry !I'm not an Aqua but I'm curious with it,I'm a Leo too

Uh yeah lol

If we were never that into you to begin with, we don't you anything. You're not entitled to us being exclusive only with you unless we made that agreement

If you express your feelings to us & we don't reciprocate that in return, then it's not our problem, nor should it be, that you won't accept that. If you wanna sit there & wait on us even though we already told you OR at least showed you the clues that we're not deeply interested in you, then that's on YOU if you end up suffering

Sex isn't gonna turn into love for everybody. It is what it is.

If anything, many women are advised AGAINST being friends with benefits with the men they like b/c of the high probability of these very situations.

The advice above actually helps. Gives a good insight on how an Aqua male would react in a situation or a relationship.

Yeah your all probably right, however he is no longer with that girl as she was "too intense" and well as of 2 weeks ago, we are back to the benefits. I've made my bed, and i guess im lying in it. Im trying to keep everything in check this time, and am just enjoying the time together when it happens.. No longer have any hopes of anything more. Feeling quite disappointed in myself for going back there, and the lack of will power to resist haha oh jeeze!!

actually, I've made the decision to not be that girl. I don't want to be plan B or just someone who fills in the gaps. It stops now. ~FIN~

Posted by bell00
actually, I've made the decision to not be that girl. I don't want to be plan B or just someone who fills in the gaps. It stops now. ~FIN~

Good.

I think you know deep down that you can't emotionally afford another disappointment from him. You know yourself & you know what kind of emotional risks you can take. Yes, he's hard to resist physically/emotionally, but you know good & damn well that the same thing is most likely to happen again. That's why you're so afraid. You know it's coming.

And if you're gonna act powerless like you have no way of stopping it, then you deserve what you get.

This is a situation where I say that sex is over-rated. You sell all of your body/soul just to get half of someone in return. Women do it over & over again, crying each time after realizing that the same bad results occur each & every time. It's not until a woman gets tired ENOUGH that she realizes that the common denominator in all of the hurt she's experienced with men is HER, her low-self esteem, her lack of discipline & her willingness to settle, that is the common factor, not him

When you are tired enough, you'll suddenly stop lol But until then, you're gonna do what's forbidden

If you don't wanna be "that" girl, then say or do the things that "those girls" do.

Hard, but simple.

I agree with Krys 100% .

You have the power here, not him. Engage your femine power and make a man earn those goodies!