whats w/talking about x-grlf/wife n aqua male?

Do any other aqua males bring up exes sporadically in conversation? Am I being immature in getting pissed about it AFTER I politely asked him not to cuz I get uncomfortable.

Idk, I've never done that before or have had it done to me. U see, I am bipolar and there r times that I don't trust my gut....and that Fucking sucks! Especially when it's screaming "this isn't right!"

Well, everyone has a past life before they meet us. Everyone has exes. Everyone has funny stories. Sometimes those stories are worth telling and it's hard not to tell without the people involved. Think about it this way. If he thinks fondly or pleasantly about his ex without anger or bittnerness, that's actually a good sign of a mature man who has good character traits. A man who's moved on and not hanging onto the past, a man with less relationship baggage. It doesn't mean he's still in love with her, just means he's accepted and moved on. There's nothing wrong with still seeing an ex as a distant friend.

Asking him not to talk about his ex is like asking him to censor who he is. He is who he is now partly because of his past, which includes her. Asking him not to talk about her is like asking him to erase part of the past that shaped him.

Now, if he's comparing you to her, or bringing her up to be mean, or acting as if he misses her, that's different altogether.

So, to answer your question, my aqua has stories that include his ex. I'm fine with it, because I have stories too that include my ex. Some of them are just too funny not to share. One time he went over my comfort level with a story and I told him that that one had too many details and for some strange reason it made me jealous, it was weird and I had to figure out why, but not to feel bad because he has a right to talk about her. He apologized and we had a big laugh about it. I've noticed he makes an effort, but now I feel bad about it, as if I've asked him to censor himself.

All in all, talking about exes a little bit is not a bad thing, but talking about them too much is not healthy for a relationship. I suppose it depends on what is said and how often.

If you asked him to stop and he hasn't, then that would be a red flag that he doesn't respect your feelings.

Posted by maranoid
Do any other aqua males bring up exes sporadically in conversation? Am I being immature in getting pissed about it AFTER I politely asked him not to cuz I get uncomfortable.

Idk, I've never done that before or have had it done to me. U see, I am bipolar and there r times that I don't trust my gut....and that Fucking sucks! Especially when it's screaming "this isn't right!"

no, as a female, i do not. I don't know about the men or the other women, but hell no.

I'd be fucking ANNOYED if my husband brought up his ex's. He'd get PISSED off if i brought up ex's all the time. THat's just WEIRD.

you have already politely asked him NOT TO.

i don't know what to say then. He just probably needs a conscious effort not to do so. OR he is still "Into" his ex. Usually that is the case with men, (Not sign) is that if they keep bringing up ex's, they are still INTO them or haven't moved on.

i saw truecap's answer.

i guess some guys and some gals have stories that/they want to include that had their ex's with.

*shrug*

people are different.

My thoughts are based on middle aged people with previous long term marriages. I suppose that's a different kind of ex than just an ex girlfriend.

@ truecap - u hit that nail on the head. He is 56 and had a 22yr marriage, and 2 long terms, one7yrs, one 12yrs.

Idk what to make of all this. It is breaking my heart

It is difficult. But remember he's not with them anymore for a reason. He's with you now. He chooses to be with you, not them.