truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
When you can't put your thoughts into words...
I create karmic situations....
Ok my mum gives me shit for having young friends, I tell her all the time that I do theatre so all my friends ages range from 9 to 70, does she listen?.....No she makes out that me having friends 5 years younger than me is a big deal but I have friends who are older than me who have families so we don't hang as much....Anyways whenever I do have friends over it doesn't stop her coming out trying to hit on them or hanging around trying to be the center of attention....So this onetime I waited till I had a considerable amount of my friends at my house (who were my age) and she comes and tries to hang around and I'll ask "what are you doing mum?" And I tell her that I should have friends my own age and that I do now and that she should go hang with friends her own age...
later on she gets shitty with me so i tell her its not nice to drive wedges and age gaps in between people....
So I pretty much give people a taste of their own medicine, before I used to just scream and have a mental breakdown, but to keep my sanity I just keep my mouth shut and wait for the perfect time and situation to unleash my fury
later on she gets shitty with me so i tell her its not nice to drive wedges and age gaps in between people....
So I pretty much give people a taste of their own medicine, before I used to just scream and have a mental breakdown, but to keep my sanity I just keep my mouth shut and wait for the perfect time and situation to unleash my fury
what do you mean?
i dont have a problem communicating with my husband or my family.
they just "get" me. I dont have to chitter chatter or express words. I'm not wordy mcfly girl.
it just is, and some people just don't "get" it, well, ok. move on.
i dont have a problem communicating with my husband or my family.
they just "get" me. I dont have to chitter chatter or express words. I'm not wordy mcfly girl.
it just is, and some people just don't "get" it, well, ok. move on.
my husband is very astute though. He'll observe me and just know. that's all.
are you having problems with your aqua man, truecap?? is that why with the questions?
are you having problems with your aqua man, truecap?? is that why with the questions?
Actually this is how fucked my mum is (I know this isnt about her).....I have gay friends my age and older who are fabulous and she really likes them and wants me to hang with them more than my str8 friends...shes such an opposite homophobe If I bring a girl over or a str8 guy over shes like (I dont like them).....I made friends with these german guys and had them over for the first time ever, before she leaves the room she whispers loudly to me (now remember they're not gay so they wont want you to hit on them)....that really broke my heart lol...Like I can't have str8 friends because I'm gonna hit on them— when the real reason I can't have str8 friends around is because she tries to hit on them, then when they reject her she says to me "I don't like him I don't want him around"......this is the kind of shit I deal with in my life....Its unjust shit that tears at my soul, I used to have huge problems explaining shit but I would get choked up and have fits and not breathe because my emotions got the better of me....My mum is the biggest disregarder of emotions ever, whenever I try and explain something thats happening to me she says "I know what you're thinking I did the exact same thing when I was your age" or she will say "you're just like me" That's the biggest insult to me.......The only thing thats keeping me home atm is that shes got cancer and I'm looking after her, my temper has come down so much because I've been exercising niceness and its really changing my life around...I actually adopted my bad temper and lashing out at people from her and I feel that dropping that side of me gets back at her
Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11
Ok my mum gives me shit for having young friends, I tell her all the time that I do theatre so all my friends ages range from 9 to 70, does she listen?.....No she makes out that me having friends 5 years younger than me is a big deal but I have friends who are older than me who have families so we don't hang as much....Anyways whenever I do have friends over it doesn't stop her coming out trying to hit on them or hanging around trying to be the center of attention....So this onetime I waited till I had a considerable amount of my friends at my house (who were my age) and she comes and tries to hang around and I'll ask "what are you doing mum?" And I tell her that I should have friends my own age and that I do now and that she should go hang with friends her own age...
later on she gets shitty with me so i tell her its not nice to drive wedges and age gaps in between people....
So I pretty much give people a taste of their own medicine, before I used to just scream and have a mental breakdown, but to keep my sanity I just keep my mouth shut and wait for the perfect time and situation to unleash my fury
Gotcha!
Too bad she didn't listen when you tried to explain.
Posted by flowingwater
I leave the situation.
I won't try to force the words out, they either come or they don't. Especially if emotions are involved, it's a lot more difficult.
That's kind of sad that you would leave a situation instead of being able to communicate what you really want.
Posted by lisabethur8
my husband is very astute though. He'll observe me and just know. that's all.
are you having problems with your aqua man, truecap?? is that why with the questions?
Nah, no problems. He just said he has a hard time putting his thoughts into words and when he does try, they get misinterpreted. I thought that had to be frustrating and wondered how other aquas deal with it.
I prefer to get my point across face to face with the person. I feel I will be able to respond better seeing their expressions. If it's someone I know I try to put myself in their shoes and explain to them the way they are going to understand it.
Most of the time it's difficult for people to know what I am feeling or thinking because I am not good at showing my emotions. If I want something I ask for it. If I am hurt I let them know, same goes for appreciation as well.
I don't give up and always try my best to explain the point but there are some people who just go about saying the same thing again and again without any logic or reasoning irrespective of how much ever you try to make them understand. I don't waste my energy with such kinds.
For me what gets misinterpreted the most is my emotions. I am working on how to express them better so that I don't come off as ice cold.
Most of the time it's difficult for people to know what I am feeling or thinking because I am not good at showing my emotions. If I want something I ask for it. If I am hurt I let them know, same goes for appreciation as well.
I don't give up and always try my best to explain the point but there are some people who just go about saying the same thing again and again without any logic or reasoning irrespective of how much ever you try to make them understand. I don't waste my energy with such kinds.
For me what gets misinterpreted the most is my emotions. I am working on how to express them better so that I don't come off as ice cold.
Oops i am in the Aqua forum, I just realized it now.
Posted by flowingwaterPosted by truecapPosted by flowingwater
I leave the situation.
I won't try to force the words out, they either come or they don't. Especially if emotions are involved, it's a lot more difficult.
That's kind of sad that you would leave a situation instead of being able to communicate what you really want.
If I just vomit words out without leaving and taking the time to think about it. The situation becomes much worse.
Trust me, When my Gemini rising takes over, I will dig into your core. I don't want to be that way, it's not beneficial.click to expand
I'm wondering if that's what he meant. When he tries, they get misinterpreted so like you said, they come out worse and not what he's trying to convey.
When you leave and get your thoughts together, do you ever go back and readdress it, or has the moment passed and you leave it alone.
i usually prefer to be left alone to do what i want to do. if i need to explain what i want to do i get angry,furious.-that's how i achieve my purposes. if i need your help, i'll ask for it...i don't ask...just leave me alone to do it.
how do others know what i want? i clearly ask for it...once...if you don't provide it...i'll get it myself and treat you accordingly to the importance of what i asked and your response.
what i think? i don't need you to know what i think. if it is of your concern, i'll tell you...if you want to know...you may ask...but most probably i wasn't expecting this question and the answer might be altered by taking me aback...do it, but at your own peril...or give me time to think how to tell you what i think...
what i feel?! hmmm....complicated....mainly, if i don't tell you sth is wrong it means i am/we are great/ok. if i tell you sth is wrong...then i mean it. really.
difficulty? challenge? not really to me...i just don't understand why people need explanations, words...
i hope this is helpful...i did my best 😄
how do others know what i want? i clearly ask for it...once...if you don't provide it...i'll get it myself and treat you accordingly to the importance of what i asked and your response.
what i think? i don't need you to know what i think. if it is of your concern, i'll tell you...if you want to know...you may ask...but most probably i wasn't expecting this question and the answer might be altered by taking me aback...do it, but at your own peril...or give me time to think how to tell you what i think...
what i feel?! hmmm....complicated....mainly, if i don't tell you sth is wrong it means i am/we are great/ok. if i tell you sth is wrong...then i mean it. really.
difficulty? challenge? not really to me...i just don't understand why people need explanations, words...
i hope this is helpful...i did my best 😄
Posted by truecapPosted by flowingwaterPosted by truecapPosted by flowingwater
I'm wondering if that's what he meant. When he tries, they get misinterpreted so like you said, they come out worse and not what he's trying to convey.
When you leave and get your thoughts together, do you ever go back and readdress it, or has the moment passed and you leave it alone.click to expand
when i am asked to give explanations i feel my freedom being thrown out of the window...as if sb asked account for what i think, feel, want to do...
if you force me to give you an answer...i'll try...it may be the wrong one...
will i readdress it? depends...if it is important, i'll surely do.
flowingwater is mainly right...
and your question is much too general...
Wow, MZ. For some reason, your answer comes across as rude and inconsiderate. I know it's honest, but the way I read it sounds harsh.
You must be hell as an employee, not giving explanations....bosses want reasoning and explanations.
Hope you don't plan on having kids, because kids are going to need explanations over and over and over.
If you ever plan on getting married, you best be prepared to tell your spouse what you think. A "need to know basis" is no longer a valid answer in marriage partnership.
If you're ever planning on being a boss, then you might prepare yourself to explain and communicate what you want from employees.
You know, I didn't ask this question in a "relationship" sense. I meant in general. Yes, it is a general question. Scenarios for when communication is difficult is up to your discretion and your answers might vary depending on whatever situation you apply the question to.
You must be hell as an employee, not giving explanations....bosses want reasoning and explanations.
Hope you don't plan on having kids, because kids are going to need explanations over and over and over.
If you ever plan on getting married, you best be prepared to tell your spouse what you think. A "need to know basis" is no longer a valid answer in marriage partnership.
If you're ever planning on being a boss, then you might prepare yourself to explain and communicate what you want from employees.
You know, I didn't ask this question in a "relationship" sense. I meant in general. Yes, it is a general question. Scenarios for when communication is difficult is up to your discretion and your answers might vary depending on whatever situation you apply the question to.
Posted by truecap
Wow, MZ. For some reason, your answer comes across as rude and inconsiderate. I know it's honest, but the way I read it sounds harsh.
You must be hell as an employee, not giving explanations....bosses want reasoning and explanations.
Hope you don't plan on having kids, because kids are going to need explanations over and over and over.
If you ever plan on getting married, you best be prepared to tell your spouse what you think. A "need to know basis" is no longer a valid answer in marriage partnership.
If you're ever planning on being a boss, then you might prepare yourself to explain and communicate what you want from employees.
You know, I didn't ask this question in a "relationship" sense. I meant in general. Yes, it is a general question. Scenarios for when communication is difficult is up to your discretion and your answers might vary depending on whatever situation you apply the question to.
yes...it must be the way you read it...
but i was shocked by your whole misinterpretation...your reply is the epitom of "online miscommunication and misjudgment"...i am a boss who has her superiors, i am a mother and i have a bf...and they don't have much to complain about...on the contrary...
there must have been some misunderstanding between your question and my answer...
Posted by Huldra
Is your beau having difficulties communicating with you, truecap?
i asked the same thing too.
that he gets misinterpretated or something.
mz and truecap just had a TRUE misinterpretation.
I sometimes get that from mz, that she comes off as "harsh".
No offense, mz, but there's a harshness there. don't know your house placements or planets but on forum paper, it comes off harsh at times. which gets misinterprated. I remember i had mixed ups with you.
but her (mz's) smiley at the end seemed to "soften" it though. 🙂
Posted by lisabethur8
but her (mz's) smiley at the end seemed to "soften" it though. 🙂
online communication is based on words and a couple of emoticons...or it is well known that real communication is also based on body language, gestures, tone in your voice, smile or frown...therefore...a face to face discussion using some words may be totally different from an online one using exactly the same words...
i won't deny i am pretty harsh at times and i won't sugar-coat some tough truths ...maybe this is why i am the one who is asked for opinions when crisis come up or difficult decisions are to be made...
but i also won't deny i find it [at least] impolite when people jump on conclusions about something which has nothing to do with the topic without asking for further info or when they ask general questions expecting the others to give answers to satisfy their need for a specific issue.
speaking about "explanations"... the quality of an answer you get mainly depends on the quality of the question you ask...
and don't say i am harsh/rude again, please 😄
ugh never mind. It's consistent. we'd never get along in real life.
Posted by Huldra
Is your beau having difficulties communicating with you, truecap?
No, we were just having a general conversation and he said this. I thought 'how aquarian' and wondered if other aquarians have found a way to deal with this or if they deal with it like he does. Thought it would be an interesting discussion.
Posted by mzPosted by truecap
Wow, MZ. For some reason, your answer comes across as rude and inconsiderate. I know it's honest, but the way I read it sounds harsh.
You must be hell as an employee, not giving explanations....bosses want reasoning and explanations.
Hope you don't plan on having kids, because kids are going to need explanations over and over and over.
If you ever plan on getting married, you best be prepared to tell your spouse what you think. A "need to know basis" is no longer a valid answer in marriage partnership.
If you're ever planning on being a boss, then you might prepare yourself to explain and communicate what you want from employees.
You know, I didn't ask this question in a "relationship" sense. I meant in general. Yes, it is a general question. Scenarios for when communication is difficult is up to your discretion and your answers might vary depending on whatever situation you apply the question to.
yes...it must be the way you read it...
but i was shocked by your whole misinterpretation...your reply is the epitom of "online miscommunication and misjudgment"...i am a boss who has her superiors, i am a mother and i have a bf...and they don't have much to complain about...on the contrary...
there must have been some misunderstanding between your question and my answer...click to expand
I bet if you had told me those exact words in person, I wouldn't have taken it as harshly. Online you can't see facial expressions and body language.
It seemed harsh to me because it seemed as if you didn't care at all about anyone else, but I'm pretty sure that isn't true.
Posted by truecapPosted by mzPosted by truecap
Wow, MZ. For some reason, your answer comes across as rude and inconsiderate. I know it's honest, but the way I read it sounds harsh.
You must be hell as an employee, not giving explanations....bosses want reasoning and explanations.
Hope you don't plan on having kids, because kids are going to need explanations over and over and over.
If you ever plan on getting married, you best be prepared to tell your spouse what you think. A "need to know basis" is no longer a valid answer in marriage partnership.
If you're ever planning on being a boss, then you might prepare yourself to explain and communicate what you want from employees.
You know, I didn't ask this question in a "relationship" sense. I meant in general. Yes, it is a general question. Scenarios for when communication is difficult is up to your discretion and your answers might vary depending on whatever situation you apply the question to.
yes...it must be the way you read it...
but i was shocked by your whole misinterpretation...your reply is the epitom of "online miscommunication and misjudgment"...i am a boss who has her superiors, i am a mother and i have a bf...and they don't have much to complain about...on the contrary...
there must have been some misunderstanding between your question and my answer...
I bet if you had told me those exact words in person, I wouldn't have taken it as harshly. Online you can't see facial expressions and body language.
It seemed harsh to me because it seemed as if you didn't care at all about anyone else, but I'm pretty sure that isn't true.click to expand
exactly 🙂 have a nice day!!!
I sometimes struggle, but again I am quite straightforward and sometimes offend in the way I say things.. other times I think about what I need to say, dwell on it then I just dont say it at all. If I struggle to find words I find it easier to write things in a letter or e-mail.. I can spend more time on what I need to say so I can put it in the right words and also without what im trying to say being interrupted.. during conversation sometimes things spiral away from the issue at hand and you end up not being able to say what you originally wanted. So Writing it down is pretty much what I do if I feel I might struggle with the face to face conversation. In work if im confronted with sometimes and put on the spot I tend to shy away.. want to curl in a ball and die. Im not good with communication with people that are out of my comfort zone!
Question for everyone -
Do you think this trait is what makes you respect others who are direct with expressing their thoughts, needs, ideas?
Do you think this trait is what makes you respect others who are direct with expressing their thoughts, needs, ideas?
I've read in several places that capricorn/aquarius are a good match once communication issues are resolved. I think I can see that.
Caps are direct and feel like people should say what you mean and mean what you say. Not afraid of conflict. Aquas (correct me if I'm wrong) are more into keeping the peace, avoiding confrontation, not being offensive unless they have to be (which is a good influence on me!). I can see how a cap could grate the aqua and the aqua could frustrate the cap if they didn't know each other very well.
(We have cap/aqua mercury as well as sun).
But, I'm not turning this topic into our relationship. We're past the communication issues. I only point that out because sfter reading all the responses, just got the "aha" moment as to why they write that.
Caps are direct and feel like people should say what you mean and mean what you say. Not afraid of conflict. Aquas (correct me if I'm wrong) are more into keeping the peace, avoiding confrontation, not being offensive unless they have to be (which is a good influence on me!). I can see how a cap could grate the aqua and the aqua could frustrate the cap if they didn't know each other very well.
(We have cap/aqua mercury as well as sun).
But, I'm not turning this topic into our relationship. We're past the communication issues. I only point that out because sfter reading all the responses, just got the "aha" moment as to why they write that.
a cancer guy confessed his feelings for me.. and I wanted to tell him that I feel the same way but literally I stumbled over my own words... tried 2 or 3 times to start my sentence again.. he then just hugged me and THEN I was able to tell him how I feel.
I didn't tell him directly how I feel for him but I told him that I cancelled another date with another guy because of him, because I don't want to date any other man but him. so.. that's very direct and enough saying imo..... as aqua hahaha
I didn't tell him directly how I feel for him but I told him that I cancelled another date with another guy because of him, because I don't want to date any other man but him. so.. that's very direct and enough saying imo..... as aqua hahaha
Posted by AquaNextDoor
a cancer guy confessed his feelings for me.. and I wanted to tell him that I feel the same way but literally I stumbled over my own words... tried 2 or 3 times to start my sentence again.. he then just hugged me and THEN I was able to tell him how I feel.
I didn't tell him directly how I feel for him but I told him that I cancelled another date with another guy because of him, because I don't want to date any other man but him. so.. that's very direct and enough saying imo..... as aqua hahaha
Awwww...I'm so glad he knew how to read you. I think a lot of people just don't understand how to do that. That's a PERFECT example of how actions show feelings.
That's reassuring ^^^. 🙂
The only aqua I know that seems not to mind confrontation is my friend who is in local politics. And, that's because she's trying to make a difference and keeps hitting brick walls. The other's I know seem to avoid it, walk away, change the subject, etc. That's what lead me to the opinion I had.
The only aqua I know that seems not to mind confrontation is my friend who is in local politics. And, that's because she's trying to make a difference and keeps hitting brick walls. The other's I know seem to avoid it, walk away, change the subject, etc. That's what lead me to the opinion I had.
Posted by truecap
That's reassuring ^^^. 🙂
The only aqua I know that seems not to mind confrontation is my friend who is in local politics. And, that's because she's trying to make a difference and keeps hitting brick walls. The other's I know seem to avoid it, walk away, change the subject, etc. That's what lead me to the opinion I had.
that sounds like Sarah Palin types (She has aries venus)
and i can tell that Ellen Degeneres (aries moon) can do a mean comeback quick.
and Amal Alamuddin, but we don't know her houses correctly, since it says that she has no aries or 1st house. She might have a strong first house if we knew her rising. She does have a nice air trine -- her sun and venus to her Jupiter gemini and the pluto libra and north node in the 7th house.
I just don't talk about it. Drives people crazy lol it really does but there's no point trying to put into words something that I just can't.
Posted by truecap
Question for everyone -
Do you think this trait is what makes you respect others who are direct with expressing their thoughts, needs, ideas?
I love love people who can express their opinions in a nice way....Sometimes I give my opinion but I say it in a mean way but I mean it as a joke and it gets misunderstood
Truecap - I love when people are direct with me.. I admire that
Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11Posted by truecap
Question for everyone -
Do you think this trait is what makes you respect others who are direct with expressing their thoughts, needs, ideas?
I love love people who can express their opinions in a nice way....Sometimes I give my opinion but I say it in a mean way but I mean it as a joke and it gets misunderstoodclick to expand
sometimes i feel you have libra in personal planets or at least a strong 7th house.
opinion in a nice way? not everyone is the same.
I'm actually a bit iffy about those who can articulate themselves perfectly, especially those with great command of the english language or whatever language for that matter. Words are powerful to me because I use mine quite carefully and you could say at times quite cunningly.
to be honest though I don't take much stock in what words are said, I like to dissect them but I just look for the action that SHOULD follow the said words.
to be honest though I don't take much stock in what words are said, I like to dissect them but I just look for the action that SHOULD follow the said words.
If I need to say something, it's much easier for me to write it down. If the specific words aren't as important, I'll show thru actions or song, etc...
I usually relate that to a throat chakra issue, normally I communicate pretty well.
If I struggle to put my thoughts into words it's not because I can't formulate, it's mostly because I feel that the person/s listening won't be able to relate or understand what I'm saying and I get dismayed by the thought of having to explain myself.
If I was talking to someone who I felt understood me intrinsically, like another empath, I'd have a much easier time.
If I struggle to put my thoughts into words it's not because I can't formulate, it's mostly because I feel that the person/s listening won't be able to relate or understand what I'm saying and I get dismayed by the thought of having to explain myself.
If I was talking to someone who I felt understood me intrinsically, like another empath, I'd have a much easier time.
But when you can't articulate, doesn't that interfere with work relationships?
Actions don't always project in that environment.
Say, there's an complex problem at work, and you know how to fix it, but you have to convey the problem to other people because it will take several individuals working together to solve the issue. If you can't articulate, wouldn't that be part of the problem instead of the solution? How do you guys deal with THAT situation.
I think most of you answered based on the situation of a romantic relationship. I wanted to know if it affected other types of relationships as well.
Actions don't always project in that environment.
Say, there's an complex problem at work, and you know how to fix it, but you have to convey the problem to other people because it will take several individuals working together to solve the issue. If you can't articulate, wouldn't that be part of the problem instead of the solution? How do you guys deal with THAT situation.
I think most of you answered based on the situation of a romantic relationship. I wanted to know if it affected other types of relationships as well.
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