Advice for Aries man

I just need advice since I’ve digged myself a bit of a hole... im Leo, 21 and this Aries is almost 27. We work together, and instantly hit it off, platonically, though it didn’t take long for us to friendly flirt. Two weeks later, I found out he was married by two other people who work with us too. Long story short, he chased me and it definitely caught my attention, I won’t lie... however I always will respect his marriage, even if he doesn’t. This always bothered him and was extremely persistent with getting me to go out with him. I always denied, and maybe I was a little naive to believe it was nothing more than friendly flirting - eventually he opened himself to me and even started to speak to me a bit too flowery for my own comfort. I started ignoring those parts and continue a more platonic approach, which resolved in him getting frustrated with me and becoming very short in our recent conversations.

The advice I’m asking for is - how Can I handle this situation? I know he’s an ass, but I work closely to him almost everyday. And the thing is, I still don’t even hate his presence. I just don’t want things to be so awkward, it’d be nice and easier if I could just befriend him. Even if it never leaves the workplace. It’s hard to have a real conversation when he’s being this childish, but I’m giving him space.

Ask to be transferred. Or report him for harassment if he continues to pursue you after you've shut him down.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Ask to be transferred. Or report him for harassment if he continues to pursue you after you've shut him down.

I definitely will!

How hot is he?

Posted by Gemitati

How hot is he?

Hahaha honestly he’s okay, if anything I was more attracted to his personality than his looks. But if he let his hair grow out he’d probably be a solid 7.5

every time he asks you out, ask him if his wife is coming too 🙂

any time he is chasing you, ask him about his wife

I understand it can be nice to have attention, but workplace affairs are usually a doom and gloom if it end badly for one or the other

just imagine, what you would do, if you succumbed and had a (very short lived affair) with him and if it would inevitably go wrong....

would you stay there working with him?

can you imagine, how hard that would be? how humiliated you would feel?

I know it can be awkward, but let him be to play his childish games and just dont pay attention to his short cold answers, do it youself

dont try to befriend him, its not your job to be friendly with a coworker who is married and chasing you

imho 🙂

so he's not a listener apparently

Posted by Koni

So have you reported him yet, since you started this thread 15 days ago?

I did!! Though, ironically the day before I went to HR, he apologized. Without me telling him a thing. They’ve talked to him apparently; a couple girls also admitted he’s always a little flirty. But since it’s all verbal and highly subtle, there’s no real issue, and they only asked him to watch what he says to the girls at work. As for me, they asked if I was uncomfortable around him, and the only problem I had was the drama he was causing. Him and I actually had a good talk about it on break one day, now he hardly speaks to me anymore. It’s a bit boring, but better than getting in an affair.

Posted by Pandora101

every time he asks you out, ask him if his wife is coming too 🙂

any time he is chasing you, ask him about his wife

I understand it can be nice to have attention, but workplace affairs are usually a doom and gloom if it end badly for one or the other

just imagine, what you would do, if you succumbed and had a (very short lived affair) with him and if it would inevitably go wrong....

would you stay there working with him?

can you imagine, how hard that would be? how humiliated you would feel?

I know it can be awkward, but let him be to play his childish games and just dont pay attention to his short cold answers, do it youself

dont try to befriend him, its not your job to be friendly with a coworker who is married and chasing you

imho 🙂

Haha I’ve pulled the “where’s your/how’s your wife” a bit. Always worked to turn him off!

I loved your take on the situation... you’re very insightful. I appreciate you replying to my post!! I totally understand what you’re putting down. It’s all things I thought about while Aries was in pursuit. I liked him, but never enough to loose the respect I have for myself.

I let him play the cold shoulder bit... and I served it back. He couldn’t stand me ignoring him, that’s when he apologized and said he missed me. It’s funny how much I didn’t realize I wasn’t actually attached to him until I heard all the B.S. he gave me about how he “knows it’s wrong” but “it feels right” speech. I decided to drop it from there, (even though we fought more) but long story short, eventually we had a good conversation to really end everything. We hardly speak, but on good enough terms and he doesn’t try to contact me outside of work anymore.

I know I don’t have to befriend him, so much in the sense that actual WORK with him wasn’t as bad as PERSONALLY getting to know him... I am definitely part of the blame. I kinda dragged it along in the beginning to the point he thought he had a chance with me. NOT to take away that he’s a total sleeze ball. This is one experience I’ll have a hard time forgetting - and I’ll be more careful with who I start speaking to...

Also if anyone was wondering - no I never kissed or slept with this Aries.

Typical Aries male 😂

Posted by tctaap

so he's not a listener apparently

Lmao...first thing I’ve got here about Arieses ‘they listen but they don’t hear’...still laughing every time I am talking to him...like...I was warned! 😂😂😂

Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies

Typical Aries male 😂

Shut up! 😂🤣💦

I understand the issue but the title?

What advice? Was there any?

Posted by Gemitati

I understand the issue but the title?

What advice? Was there any?

I guess it was a more like a take what you can get kind of deal. When first starting this thread, I didn’t know what to do due to just being confused with what was going on in Aries’s head, and not wanting any bad blood. It Unraveled itself in the end but I do feel like I still got good advice and reassurance that what I was doing was the right thing to do, when I was caught off guard/ not thinking straight. I’ve never been in this kind of situation before... so yes?

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies

Typical Aries male 😂

Shut up! 😂🤣💦

click to expand

Give it time. You will see 😁