ARIES DOUBLE STANDARD RELATIONSHIPS!!!!!!!!! HELP!

My boyfriend is driving me up a wall with his jealousy....

He's a very jealous , insecure , controlling Aries

He hates when I have fun without him , he wants to know where I am and who Im with all the time. Yesterday he searched my phone. He hates when I make new friends.

I don't do any of these things to him. He is a social butterfly. He has friends he talks to who I have never seen or heard about , I dont ask him where he is at or who he is with because I trust him and don't need to. He says im too mysterious ( Im a scorpio obviously) I don't feel the need to defend and explain myself all the time. If I treat you with respect and give you privacy I should get the same in return. He is ruining our relationship with his jealousy. Do all Aries act this way? How do I deal with it. He has a way of playing the victim even when he is wrong. He needs to grow the fuck up!!

Posted by scorptoohott
He says im too mysterious ( Im a scorpio obviously)

^^That's Aries talk for "I don't know what you're up to". It triggers their nasty controlling side. If you never had anything to worry about, it kills you to tell him what he asks? He would ease up with time.

Also Aries people are possessive because they cannot fathom how you can have a better time with someone other than them lol so if that's the case, it's not insane jealousy.

Either way, he needs to fix that issue with himself. I am convinced you, being a Scorpio, never truly talked about it..more like issued ultimatums. That will crash with Aries every fucking time. They have a childish side you can appeal to with affection and jokes, even be sarcastic with him.

If it fails, then it's on him. I just see a lot of Scorpios talking the talk and not really walking the walk because God forbid their feels are on the line or they come across as vulnerable.

No, none of the Aries I dated act this way but apparently all the Aries the Scorpios date come across this way. So there might be something toxic about this dynamic.

Also your "needs to grow the fuck up!!" tells me a lot about your level of maturity and the care for your partner. Scorpio in a rage = clueless to reason. We all adapt to suit our partners in some way and if they struggle with jealousy, how about we try to work at it together before throwing in the towel. The double standard with Scorpios on this is always insanely hilarious to me.

But yes, if he's insane, cut him off your life. Don't look back.

Scorpios never communicate verbally. I have 3 close Scorpio gfs..in their mind they do but they don't.

Aries are clueless when it comes with Scorpios, they read into the silence as "DANGER! DARK CLOUDS APPROACHING"

Aries are also horrible communicators.

A lot of misunderstandings between the two.

The OP is a guy so they are both men, even worse to try to bridge the gap. They should stick to the great sex.

Posted by scorptoohott
My boyfriend is driving me up a wall with his jealousy....

He's a very jealous , insecure , controlling Aries

He hates when I have fun without him , he wants to know where I am and who Im with all the time. Yesterday he searched my phone. He hates when I make new friends.

I don't do any of these things to him. He is a social butterfly. He has friends he talks to who I have never seen or heard about , I dont ask him where he is at or who he is with because I trust him and don't need to. He says im too mysterious ( Im a scorpio obviously) I don't feel the need to defend and explain myself all the time. If I treat you with respect and give you privacy I should get the same in return. He is ruining our relationship with his jealousy. Do all Aries act this way? How do I deal with it. He has a way of playing the victim even when he is wrong. He needs to grow the fuck up!!

He's a very jealous , insecure , controlling Aries
Aries are only this way if you have given us a REASON to be jealous..

I don't ask him where he is at or who he is with because I trust him and don't need to.
Precisely — because we are upfront about our friends and what we are doing. This is NORMAL to us.

He says im too mysterious ( Im a scorpio obviously) I don't feel the need to defend and explain myself all the time.
Its not about having to defend yourself or be upfront. He sees the mysterious as being overly secretive. If you have nothing to hide, why not be open.

If I treat you with respect and give you privacy I should get the same in return.
This is a difference of opinion. You think you are giving respect but in his eyes you are showing disrespect.

He is ruining our relationship with his jealousy.
Maybe YOU are ruining the relationship with your perceived secrecy

Do all Aries act this way? How do I deal with it.
Its a relationship not a battle of egos. If you want it to work then COMPROMISE. If you are easy and open and just answer his questions normally he will be reassured and will start to back off.

He needs to grow the fuck up!!
Errr... I think YOU do!!

If you act like a secretive asshole, it would make anyone think you're up to no good.

I've seen my Scorp friend wreck 3 relationships because of that retarded ass shit. OOH SECRETIVE, MYSTERY, OMGZ, I'M SO COOL. OBSESSIVE PRIVACY ISSUES OOOH. Nevermind he was a control freak. Makes this thread lol worthy, btw. A Scorp complaining about control freaks??

If you act like you have something to hide, ANYONE would start to get a little antsy. Aries are up front, and you should be too if you're all in with them in a relationship. If you start acting like some double standard type because you need to pull some water sign bullshit, be prepared for some rough patches. Nobody wants to be in a relationship with someone who acts like they have something to hide all the time. It just breeds dysfunction.

You both need to communicate to clear the air, tbh.

We do communicate and I am very lenient with him!!!! he is just a difficult person I have nothing to have but I don't like being stalked or questioned like a child if he doesn't hear from me for a few hours. He's always ready to judge who I'm around and make assumptions when I can do the same with him but I dont. I just don't like having a different set of expectations.

Astrology aside... it sounds like an unhealthy relationship. Why would you want to be with someone who treats you like that?

Because I love him with all my heart and he has great potential in him and over everything he respects me. That's why I stay. I know our signs clash but we compromise to keep peace.

Posted by scorptoohott
Because I love him with all my heart and he has great potential in him and over everything he respects me. That's why I stay. I know our signs clash but we compromise to keep peace.

Now you say he respects you..

God damn Scorpionic double standards.

You're just looking for a way for him to ease up, yes? Let him in on that mystery of yours and he will gain confidence. Aries are without a doubt the most sensitive sign there is..and people still get fooled by their confidence acts.

If you really love him, understand him and he will give you his world. (if the connection between you two is also genuine on his side which it appears to be since he wouldn't give much of a fuck if it wasn't)

Posted by scorptoohott
Because I love him with all my heart and he has great potential in him and over everything he respects me. That's why I stay. I know our signs clash but we compromise to keep peace.

What the hell u complaining about?? Don't come to the Aries board expecting support for your apparent woes! Maybe one day HE will have enough and dump your ass... That would shock you wouldn't it!!!!!

Yes he does things that I don't appreciate but he apologizes for his mistakes which I respect it's just a cycle...


EDIT: *kiss my ass AriesGirl74!

Posted by scorptoohott



EDIT: *kiss my ass AriesGirl74!

I take that as an extreme compliment 😄

Posted by scorptoohott
Yes he does things that I don't appreciate but he apologizes for his mistakes which I respect it's just a cycle...


EDIT: *kiss my ass AriesGirl74!

How mature. 😐

Is anyone going to give me reasonable advice!

Posted by scorptoohott
Is anyone going to give me reasonable advice!

I did.

If you want some ego gratification..I can't do that. Sorry.

Posted by scorptoohott
Is anyone going to give me reasonable advice!

Look, people here ARE giving you reasonable advice! You simply cannot start an Aries thread on the Aries forum dissing Aries and expect what?? Sympathy? Validation? It doesn't work like that on ANY forum here!

Read your post again; it's like you can do no wrong, and you sound awfully entitled, and people here have given you advice despite you saying it is YOUR boyfriend should should grow up...

People who have had experience with Aries and people who ARE Aries (if the sign significance means that much to you) have given you insight to try and help you to understand. Please try and take that with some humility..

Smdh there's noooooo pleasing some people _—

Posted by starlover

Posted by Damnata
If you want some ego gratification..I can't do that. Sorry.

I dont think he does...he is just trying to suss stuff out, i think?

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Yeah but I basically outlined the differences that lead to misunderstanding and he came back pissier.

He's either a troll or seriously out of control with emotions/ego.

The guy's username is scorptoohott..

He clearly defines himself by his physical appearance. Aries Men do that shit also.

2 men who are concerned with their image in a relationship..each will provoke the other's jealousy so there needs to be a balance about it.

Damnata why are you judging me? I am far from shallow , all i wanted to know was why does he act this way. He has different expectations for me than his self I just want some common ground and for him to relax without jumping to conclusions!

Posted by champranger

Posted by scorptoohott
Is anyone going to give me reasonable advice!

As far as I can recall, there is not a single Scorp that I know that will tell 100% to those that are close to them, something that an Aries wants.

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Yep and that's how I was raised! Im in a relationship but I am still my own identity I shouldn't have to suffocate. I feel like Im being supervised!

If you want common ground then try to understand the Aries insight first and then apply it with your boyfriend.

Posted by Damnata

Posted by starlover

Posted by Damnata
If you want some ego gratification..I can't do that. Sorry.

I dont think he does...he is just trying to suss stuff out, i think?

Yeah but I basically outlined the differences that lead to misunderstanding and he came back pissier.

He's either a troll or seriously out of control with emotions/ego.

click to expand

I don't have an ego and I am not a troll , I have no time for that. I'm inquiring USEFUL advice and trying to get info from my fellow Arians.

Well the Aries folks came through with advice. If you don't see it as useful maybe your expectations are too high.

Star is right on one account..this relationship rarely, if ever, works out.

Stick to the sex and forget about the luuurve.

Posted by tiziani
Aries saying you're too mysterious = in their eyes you don't ask concerned enough, in my experience.

They want you to pay attention to the fact they're out there and they like the ego stroke of you "fighting" for them. If you put 100 percent blind faith in them, it makes them feel like you don't care enough about competing for their affections.


Sorry to say but Aries are not one hundred percent straightforward with their expectations, where I come from. But champranger is right that you can always be forthcoming and outright ask them what they need, and they will usually give you a straightforward reply.

I will never stroke his ego , I'm his partner not his fan. Thats what I don't understand about some Aries , the need for everyone to kiss their ass to feel good about themselves. I hate attention seekers.

Are you kidding me? A Scorpio lecturing people on ego?

Scorpios and Aries both have huge ego. Problem is, in a relationship one needs to bend.

Scorpio man + Aries Man = It ain't happening.

Btw I am not saying it should be you who bends, I am saying who is more aware of this tendency should try to.

Posted by scorptoohott
Because I love him with all my heart and he has great potential in him and over everything he respects me. That's why I stay. I know our signs clash but we compromise to keep peace.

You don't EVER base being with someone based on "potential." If they aren't living up to that potential, then you'll be miserable because all you're getting is the half assed, neurotic bs you're dealing with.

Quit being a dipshit.

Posted by Damnata
Well the Aries folks came through with advice. If you don't see it as useful maybe your expectations are too high.

Star is right on one account..this relationship rarely, if ever, works out.

Stick to the sex and forget about the luuurve.

We're not giving up on eachother that easy , our passion keeps us together.

Posted by Damnata
Are you kidding me? A Scorpio lecturing people on ego?

Scorpios and Aries both have huge ego. Problem is, in a relationship one needs to bend.

Scorpio man + Aries Man = It ain't happening.

Btw I am not saying it should be you who bends, I am saying who is more aware of this tendency should try to.

I don't have an ego , I'm confident in who I am and know that I'm capable of great things. If anything it comes from me. Aries seeks the validation of others for theirs.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by scorptoohott
Because I love him with all my heart and he has great potential in him and over everything he respects me. That's why I stay. I know our signs clash but we compromise to keep peace.

You don't EVER base being with someone based on "potential." If they aren't living up to that potential, then you'll be miserable because all you're getting is the half assed, neurotic bs you're dealing with.

Quit being a dipshit.

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It's not like he isn't trying , That's the thing he TRIES but he's having a hard time GRASPING that he doesn't NEED to do have of the shit he does!!!

*half.


So... you're being a drama whore and giving him shit because you want to change him.

Also not healthy.

You speak of him being a control freak, but you're guilting him into not being who you want him to be? You're not very innocent in this situation either.

Something is clearly an issue and you need to talk to him about it, not come to an advice forum, seeking validation for your neuroses.

As an Aries, anytime behavior like this becomes an issue, usually the other person is being a retarded asshat. Retarded asshats bring out the worst in us. So while you're highly critical of his behavior, I suggest you look at your own to see what could be instigating such bs. It's not right that he behaves like you claim, but there are two in this situation and you are not innocent here, sorry.

Again, talk to HIM. It's ridiculous that you think we can read his mind and give you insight into why he behaves like he does. You're telling your side, but we don't know his.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by scorptoohott

Posted by tiziani
Aries saying you're too mysterious = in their eyes you don't ask concerned enough, in my experience.

They want you to pay attention to the fact they're out there and they like the ego stroke of you "fighting" for them. If you put 100 percent blind faith in them, it makes them feel like you don't care enough about competing for their affections.


Sorry to say but Aries are not one hundred percent straightforward with their expectations, where I come from. But champranger is right that you can always be forthcoming and outright ask them what they need, and they will usually give you a straightforward reply.

I will never stroke his ego , I'm his partner not his fan. Thats what I don't understand about some Aries , the need for everyone to kiss their ass to feel good about themselves. I hate attention seekers.

Well then you're your own problem. In every relationship there are two egos involved and both people have to agree to stroke each other here and there, the way they like it. Just like your ego likes to maintain a sence of privacy and going about without having to explain yourself everytime, you need that and he needs what he needs. It's a fair exchange.

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I can agree with that. I do give him compliments but I don't what to go overboard and swell his head. He can be really narcissistic as it is. His face is always in front of a camera or a mirror.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
*half.


So... you're being a drama whore and giving him shit because you want to change him.

Also not healthy.

You speak of him being a control freak, but you're guilting him into not being who you want him to be? You're not very innocent in this situation either.

Something is clearly an issue and you need to talk to him about it, not come to an advice forum, seeking validation for your neuroses.

As an Aries, anytime behavior like this becomes an issue, usually the other person is being a retarded asshat. Retarded asshats bring out the worst in us. So while you're highly critical of his behavior, I suggest you look at your own to see what could be instigating such bs. It's not right that he behaves like you claim, but there are two in this situation and you are not innocent here, sorry.

Again, talk to HIM. It's ridiculous that you think we can read his mind and give you insight into why he behaves like he does. You're telling your side, but we don't know his.

We do talk , all I wanted was a different point of view! He's just as critical as I am! He's quick to jump on other people about their issues but when his is exposed he goes out guns blazing. I admit I do my share of dirt but it usually starts by his over reactions to EVERYTHING.

Then why are you here?

lol@ the scorpio having no ego but still talking all about himself and how his partner affects him.

poor scorpio, how can he cope with the bruttish aries.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Then why are you here?

Reading is so damn fundamental!

Posted by Damnata
lol@ the scorpio having no ego but still talking all about himself and how his partner affects him.

poor scorpio, how can he cope with the bruttish aries.

I see you enjoy being a pain.

Posted by scorptoohott

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Then why are you here?

Reading is so damn fundamental!

click to expand

adorbz.

Posted by scorptoohott

Posted by Damnata
lol@ the scorpio having no ego but still talking all about himself and how his partner affects him.

poor scorpio, how can he cope with the bruttish aries.

I see you enjoy being a pain.

click to expand

Not as much as the pain your aries is causing you and your virgo ex also.

You seem to get off on that so.. *shrugs*.

Posted by Damnata

Posted by scorptoohott

Posted by Damnata
lol@ the scorpio having no ego but still talking all about himself and how his partner affects him.

poor scorpio, how can he cope with the bruttish aries.

I see you enjoy being a pain.

Not as much as the pain your aries is causing you and your virgo ex also.

You seem to get off on that so.. *shrugs*.

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No pain no gain! At least I care enough to find solutions. Im over my ex btw although he isn't, cute jab though

I don't see you finding solutions here.

I see you keep pushing your agenda.

And yeah, everything about me is cute 🙂

Thank you.

Anywho.....

Thanks to whose who TRIED to help some things make sense.

I'm glad you stopped throwing a tantrum.

For a second I believed you were an Aries but then the Scorpio condescending attitude took over.

It's all cool.

Posted by Damnata
I'm glad you stopped throwing a tantrum.

For a second I believed you were an Aries but then the Scorpio condescending attitude took over.

It's all cool.

Condescending, Ego, Tantrum ,

You have a way with words!

I'm def one of a kind! But I care at the end of the day.

Posted by scorptoohott

Posted by Damnata
I'm glad you stopped throwing a tantrum.

For a second I believed you were an Aries but then the Scorpio condescending attitude took over.

It's all cool.

Condescending, Ego, Tantrum ,

You have a way with words!

I'm def one of a kind! But I care at the end of the day.

click to expand

I do. Keep the compliments flowing, it does wonders to my ego.

Posted by arietteheart2
You trust him and he doesn't trust you. You've never given him a reason not to trust you?

Not that I can think of. I guess I'm too secretive which gets him going , I don't give "enough" info.

Posted by Damnata

Posted by scorptoohott

Posted by Damnata
I'm glad you stopped throwing a tantrum.

For a second I believed you were an Aries but then the Scorpio condescending attitude took over.

It's all cool.

Condescending, Ego, Tantrum ,

You have a way with words!

I'm def one of a kind! But I care at the end of the day.

I do. Keep the compliments flowing, it does wonders to my ego.

click to expand

I'd love to but I'd have a tough time gathering all the lies...

Posted by scorptoohott

Posted by Damnata

Posted by scorptoohott

Posted by Damnata
I'm glad you stopped throwing a tantrum.

For a second I believed you were an Aries but then the Scorpio condescending attitude took over.

It's all cool.

Condescending, Ego, Tantrum ,

You have a way with words!

I'm def one of a kind! But I care at the end of the day.

I do. Keep the compliments flowing, it does wonders to my ego.

I'd love to but I'd have a tough time gathering all the lies...

click to expand

If anyone can do that, a Scorpio could.

I have faith in you man. Don't go mysterious and silent on me.

Posted by Damnata

Posted by scorptoohott

Posted by Damnata

Posted by scorptoohott

Posted by Damnata
I'm glad you stopped throwing a tantrum.

For a second I believed you were an Aries but then the Scorpio condescending attitude took over.

It's all cool.

Condescending, Ego, Tantrum ,

You have a way with words!

I'm def one of a kind! But I care at the end of the day.

I do. Keep the compliments flowing, it does wonders to my ego.

I'd love to but I'd have a tough time gathering all the lies...

If anyone can do that, a Scorpio could.

I have faith in you man. Don't go mysterious and silent on me.

click to expand

Persistence.... how cute

Posted by arietteheart2

Posted by scorptoohott

Posted by arietteheart2
You trust him and he doesn't trust you. You've never given him a reason not to trust you?

Not that I can think of. I guess I'm too secretive which gets him going , I don't give "enough" info.

What kind of info? I don't think it's too much to ask if he wants to know your whereabouts. It's not always jealousy and control issues (although I'm not saying it isn't) but were also protective over people we love. It's kind of a kick in the face if you don't want us to protect you.

I'm only newly dating a scorpio but he left the state and didn't tell me. I found out when he sent me a msg on fb bc it gave his location. He's free to do what he wants but I still asked him why he was there...and he told me "I just like to get away sometimes" which I can relate to. Maybe if you could let him know...hey, sometimes I like to wander around without answering to anyone...it doesn't mean I'm looking to replace you.

Different signs act out their insecurities in different ways. Cancer will go silent and aries will throw a tantrum. Some ppl will be completely turned off by the tantrum (understandably) while others will want to understand why someone went silent. The underlying issue is still the same though...they are hurt by your actions.

If you want to fix the issues, you need to communicate with him. Unless you truly believe he's trying to control you...then by all means, leave him in the dust.

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Thank You!