Going solo

Aries, do you find yourself going solo because you end up writing off the assholes in your life? I often find people taking advantage of my nature and it always ends up that I'm putting in more effort than they are. Eventually, I just write these people off.

The idea of writing off people that are not good for you isn't a bad one. But in turn, you end up very alone because the prevalence is THAT bad. It gets to the point where you wonder, "is everyone really this bad or am I doing something wrong here??"

I know society is getting pretty bad and the "all about me" ideal is rampant. Is there something about the Aries personality that leaves people behaving this way? If you're too nice, they walk all over you. If you're too stern about it, you're a cranky bitch. Easily forgotten about, but first on the list when one wants something.

Yep yep! Its frustrating sometimes. There are so many people I have dismissed and they usually 9 times at 10 try to work their way back into my life and I am really not interested. This is not just romantic relationships but friendships as well. Before I would forgive and try and rekindle but now I forgive and let that person go. Not giving that person the opportunity to hurt me again. Its usually pretty much a wrap. The only way now I will forgive is if the person ask me to forgive them for what they have done and show me they have changed other then that I am usually done and on to the next.

I cry it out...scream it out....talk about it even if i have to talk to my dog but i do whatever it takes to free myself from people that does not have my best interest at heart.

😢 aw it's alright don't be sad. i'm sending you lots of e-hugs lol

I find it less complicated to have a handful of people I can rely on than a host of airy fairy individuals who may or may not be there for me depending on what is in it for them at the time.

If I am your friend I am there for you 100% no matter what and if I am not worthy of the same in return then I don't have room for you in my life.

Who has time for that shit—??

Yes. Once you betray me it's over there is no coming back. I use to hold grudges but now I don't; I forgive and keep it moving. And most of them especially exes spend a lifetime trying to get me back.

This wasn't about Aries ice though. The questions involved asked if you find yourself thinning down to the point where you're basically solo and then there was this- which nobody has really answered-

Posted by rockyroadicecream

I know society is getting pretty bad and the "all about me" ideal is rampant. Is there something about the Aries personality that leaves people behaving this way? If you're too nice, they walk all over you. If you're too stern about it, you're a cranky bitch. Easily forgotten about, but first on the list when one wants something.

In my case specifically, I have no problem dropping people who show they really aren't that great of a friend, but just about every person that I make friends with ends up turning out to be a self centered douche somewhere along the line. It begs the question is if there's something about my personality (specifically Aries traits) that inadvertently attracts them/me to them? Sometimes I think that people get all butthurt that I don't put up with flakiness. I'm usually okay with the first few instances, but the second I start noticing a pattern, I get annoyed. I feel that with some, when you call them out on their ridiculous bs that's bothering you, they waffle and back off. "Omg, someone making me accountable for my selfish actions! I don't like this and I want some ass kissing friends!" (which HAS been the case with some)

The other vibe I get is that I just feel like that invisible person. The one everyone appears to like and be okay with, but never once thinks to include or bother with outside of wherever we know eachother. I'm there, but I'm not. I dunno how to describe it.

It could also be the area I live in. Full of a lot of fake, selfish jerks. :/

we do have a tendency to put too much trust and hope into people. we don't really know how to be suspicious. we wanna believe in the basic goodness of people. we don't really think about whether or not we're being used until it gets painfully obvious lol i know i don't. i don't really know when i'm being used lol i can't really understand why a person would want to abuse somebody's trust and good intentions like that but it happens.

from reading your situation i get the impression that you're kind of vulnerable when it comes to interaction with people.
i know it can be really easy to lose hope when this sorta thing keeps happening in your life and you don't really know why. it can almost seem like being a good person brings nothing but pain but that's not true. what kind of a sad, hopeless place would this world be if we didn't have good-hearted people in it? good people light up the world and put hope and meaning back into people's lives.

just knowing there is goodness in the world gives us the strength to go on and live another day! xD

don't worry. you're not doomed to a life of zero decent friends. if you keep doing the right thing someone out there will notice and appreciate the wonderful qualities in you. trust me 🙂

What love 366 said summed up my view. I have written off loads of people. I have written off entire groups of people at the same time before because I felt they were below average human beings who weren't worthy of my acquaintance anymore. Now... I don't even have a best friend! I just have me! But I love that. I can depend on me and rely on me to be honest and truthful and not betray myself.
I have buddies who I like keeping in contact with to have fun. And I have people I know through common interests that I can relate to with things I like. That's all I need. I'm pretty much the most social loner you could find! Hahaha

Why does it have to be so extreme? I don't even get the chance to write off people because I rarely let anyone get too close to me, even less give them the chance to take advantage of me. Besides I'm a good judge of character so I'm very specific about who I let into my world.

So why would you even consider it extreme? You clearly pointed out that you don't let anyone close enough to let the opportunity to arise for them to take advantage of you, thus kicking them to the curb.

You can't compare that to those of us who let people in and get screwed over, thus kicking THEM to the curb. It's not "extreme," it's necessary. Keeping crappy people in your life isn't a good thing.

It's extereme because you seem to think that there only are two options - either befriend anyone who approaches you or shut everyone out because there's a chance you might get hurt.

My motto is 'trust no one until they give you a reason to'. It sounds plenty paranoid but it's not like I have a barb-wire fence around me, it only means that people become my friends not because I want or need them to be my friends, but because it seems the natural order of things.

Many of you guys seem to be going by the motto 'trust everyone until they give you a reason not to' . It's one of those things that sound nicer as a motto than how they actually appear IRL; people who think like that will get fucked over again and again because friendship isn't like fast food. You cannot have a new best friend every month. Well, unless you're a Sag. lol

Posted by Chance11

i think there is something in the aries personality that attracts users.

I think you are onto something here. Nowadays I have faith in my gut instincts and like enfant-T, try not to let the baddies in anymore.
Just hoping it's not to late in my life to have learnt this lesson😢

The key is to find somebody mature enough for you that dosent do petty crap.

Posted by Chance11
in response to the original post, i think there is something in the aries personality that attracts users. my boss is an aries and he has a short fuse but will constantly let people who shouldn't have a second chance come back into his life and loans people money that will never pay him back. with the quick temper that's gone fast and non grudge bearing ways, it's almost like he forgets previous transgressions 5 minutes later. one former employee that masqueraded as his friend owes him $ 6000 and another owes him $ 5000. over-loyalty can have some bad consequences.

also, many aries i know can't seem to differentiate between people...to the ones i know, people are people and they are friendly and outgoing to everyone. while it's great to give everyone a chance, it seems kinda of naive in reality.

He's stupid. I won't loan anyone money. I don't care who it is. When you start involving money in matters, it makes EVERYTHING a mess.

I generally approach everyone the same until they prove otherwise. As soon as I start seeing the usual, bs, I start to back off.

I used to do the forgive and forget, but I've been catching myself more lately. Mostly because I've noticed a certain trend in behavior and I just ignore the forgive part and drop them.

And in regard to dropping vs befriending, it's not one extreme or the other, it's either they're your friend or they're not. If they're going to end up using and abusing you, bye. No need for people like that in my life.

Posted by ArticleL
The key is to find somebody mature enough for you that dosent do petty crap.

It's hard to do, actually. Everyone's being raised to be selfish, immature twat monkies.

Posted by lotuslily
I have buddies who I like keeping in contact with to have fun. And I have people I know through common interests that I can relate to with things I like. That's all I need. I'm pretty much the most social loner you could find! Hahaha

LOL, I love it. I have associates??_hehe. We get together every now and then.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by ArticleL
The key is to find somebody mature enough for you that dosent do petty crap.

It's hard to do, actually. Everyone's being raised to be selfish, immature twat monkies.

click to expand

Lol, Agreed, but I refuse to become these selfish immature twat monkies. I just look at them and laugh...SMH like WTF.

I just broke off a friendship with this girl who was sort of using me to get to my cousin. She lost all interest in spending time with me as soon as she found out my cousin had a girlfriend. It made me feel really crappy like maybe I wasn't interesting enough for her to want to keep me around as a friend even though things didn't work out with her and my cousin. 😢

Posted by Love366

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by ArticleL
The key is to find somebody mature enough for you that dosent do petty crap.

It's hard to do, actually. Everyone's being raised to be selfish, immature twat monkies.

Lol, Agreed, but I refuse to become these selfish immature twat monkies. I just look at them and laugh...SMH like WTF.

click to expand

I dissagre the whole world is not twat monekys just 99% so I slightly agree I would just say eithier keep searching or relax and let it come to you. In a searching mode its not as hard as it looks. Just two people chilling fuck there past, be adults, communication all things they need establishment at the beginnning. Stop putting feeling in it so fast if I here marriage, kids, and rings again in a 3 month period ima flip.

Posted by enfant_terrible
It's extereme because you seem to think that there only are two options - either befriend anyone who approaches you or shut everyone out because there's a chance you might get hurt.

My motto is 'trust no one until they give you a reason to'. It sounds plenty paranoid but it's not like I have a barb-wire fence around me, it only means that people become my friends not because I want or need them to be my friends, but because it seems the natural order of things.

Many of you guys seem to be going by the motto 'trust everyone until they give you a reason not to' . It's one of those things that sound nicer as a motto than how they actually appear IRL; people who think like that will get fucked over again and again because friendship isn't like fast food. You cannot have a new best friend every month. Well, unless you're a Sag. lol

I like your motto. It makes a lot of sense. It's hard for me to admit this but I do set myself up for a lot of pain by being way too open and generous with people. 😢 I tend to have this blind faith that everything will be alright. Dunno where it comes from but I'm starting to realize how dangerous that mindset can be...

Posted by Jesse91
we do have a tendency to put too much trust and hope into people. we don't really know how to be suspicious. we wanna believe in the basic goodness of people. we don't really think about whether or not we're being used until it gets painfully obvious lol i know i don't. i don't really know when i'm being used lol i can't really understand why a person would want to abuse somebody's trust and good intentions like that but it happens.

from reading your situation i get the impression that you're kind of vulnerable when it comes to interaction with people.
i know it can be really easy to lose hope when this sorta thing keeps happening in your life and you don't really know why. it can almost seem like being a good person brings nothing but pain but that's not true. what kind of a sad, hopeless place would this world be if we didn't have good-hearted people in it? good people light up the world and put hope and meaning back into people's lives.

just knowing there is goodness in the world gives us the strength to go on and live another day! xD

don't worry. you're not doomed to a life of zero decent friends. if you keep doing the right thing someone out there will notice and appreciate the wonderful qualities in you. trust me 🙂

My brooding cancer moon finds your peppy enthusiasm quite enchanting lol