How to get my aries ex to talk to me again

I dated this aries guy many years ago and broke up with him because he was smothering me. He took the breakup really badly and would always say if you change your mind let me know. This past year we met up again after a five year absence and I had feelings for him. I told him that and asked him on a date and he suddenly completely shut down and told me no, he had no feelings for me at all, that we dated a long time ago (very true) and that we couldn't be friends now since I asked him out.

I was shocked since lots of my guy friends have asked me out, but I am still friends with them.

What do I do about this situation? I really want to be with him again. I told him how I felt and that I miss him and so on and apologised for everything that went wrong, but he didn't care. After five years of post-break up friendship he suddenly doesn't want to be friends just cause I asked him out.

I contacted him a few days ago and he responded saying we can't be friends.

I don't understand what is going on, because for several years he really wanted to get back together and not that I do, he doesn't and is treating me like a stranger.

Posted by Impulsv
Yes because he's be stringing u along n he's a good person.u would keep a Freindship wanting more. time to move on.

but I don't want to move on, I want to get back together with him.

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by PiscesLeoAquarius
I don't understand what is going on, because for several years he really wanted to get back together and not that I do, he doesn't and is treating me like a stranger.

Are u serious !!! Because two years he wanted u n u didn't he's supposed be there now. U don't see it??
Is it all about ur terms.
Life doesn't work that way. Don't take for grated when something good is in ur presence.

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I understand what you're saying, but I didn't take him for granted. I just didn't feel that way about him and now I do.

Posted by feby16aqua

Posted by PiscesLeoAquarius
I contacted him a few days ago and he responded saying we can't be friends.

He doesn't ever initiate contacting you?

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He did initiate contacting me all the time. It was always him who initiated until I asked him out and then it all went crazy.

Doesn't anyone have any advice, rather than criticising me?

No, he isn't.

Posted by feby16aqua
I just did a here kitty kitty scenario today with the aries myself. I thought it was funny. It does work too.

what is a here kitty kitty scenario?

Am I a troll?? No, why would you think that. 😢

You mean be mean to him?

Posted by LilyTree
My interpretation is that he genuinely wanted you back when he said so. But 5 years is a very long time of no-contact, and regardless of how a person feels during a break-up, they WILL get over it and move on.

When you two reconnected, he was no loner interested in being more than friends. Maybe he wasn't even sure if he wanted to even be friends again and was feeling it out. When you tried to get back with him, you triggered his flight response because he is most likely trying to protect himself from heartbreak. Even more likely, he may honestly not see you like that anymore, and now it's just awkward and complicated.

But I'll tell you what, when I make up my mind about someone, it's set. I have a scary way of shutting down and completely cutting someone off. Regardless of what our past relationship looked like. Also, I can't be just friends with someone I was in love with. Relationships can't go backwards.

I think that if there was any hope of you two being together, it would have had to be on HIS terms, I.e.
You should have let HIM initiate that. You DID break his heart, after all. Trust is a very big deal...

Thank you LilyTree, I really appreciate your advice!

Is there anything I can do now to get back together with him?

Posted by PiscesLeoAquarius
He took the breakup really badly and would always say if you change your mind let me know.

^This is an assumption since you're not him.

Posted by PiscesLeoAquarius
we met up again after a five year absence

Posted by PiscesLeoAquarius
After five years of post-break up friendship he suddenly doesn't want to be friends just cause I asked him out.

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^^Those two statements are contradictory. First you say there was a five year absence and you JUST met and he told you what he did..but then you say there was a friendship in these 5 years.

There is no friendship and he probably moved on. Your apologies come 5 years too late to change anything.

Posted by LilyTree
My interpretation is that he genuinely wanted you back when he said so. But 5 years is a very long time of no-contact, and regardless of how a person feels during a break-up, they WILL get over it and move on.

When you two reconnected, he was no loner interested in being more than friends. Maybe he wasn't even sure if he wanted to even be friends again and was feeling it out. When you tried to get back with him, you triggered his flight response because he is most likely trying to protect himself from heartbreak. Even more likely, he may honestly not see you like that anymore, and now it's just awkward and complicated.

But I'll tell you what, when I make up my mind about someone, it's set. I have a scary way of shutting down and completely cutting someone off. Regardless of what our past relationship looked like. Also, I can't be just friends with someone I was in love with. Relationships can't go backwards.

I think that if there was any hope of you two being together, it would have had to be on HIS terms, I.e.
You should have let HIM initiate that. You DID break his heart, after all. Trust is a very big deal...

Lily is dead on here. If he was really putting himself out there for you, even after you had pushed him away, then that was you "chance." I am guessing he felt pretty much crushed by your handling of the situation 5 years ago. It has been my experience in such situations that something very important in me has to "die" before I get over such feelings. That is the way you have to see this situation now. That special something you once had is now dead. It will not come back, it can't come back.

I would guess he is feeling very uncomfortable with your advances. You hurt him probably as anyone could possibly hurt him. The pain was emotional, and I also think his pride took quite a beating as well. I would be thinking "Not no, but 'Ah Hell NO!!!" at this point in time. I see no way for you to overcome that.

Posted by Damnata

Posted by PiscesLeoAquarius
He took the breakup really badly and would always say if you change your mind let me know.

^This is an assumption since you're not him.

Posted by PiscesLeoAquarius
we met up again after a five year absence

Posted by PiscesLeoAquarius
After five years of post-break up friendship he suddenly doesn't want to be friends just cause I asked him out.

^^Those two statements are contradictory. First you say there was a five year absence and you JUST met and he told you what he did..but then you say there was a friendship in these 5 years.

There is no friendship and he probably moved on. Your apologies come 5 years too late to change anything.

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Hey, we had friendship during those years, but there was an absence because we lived in different cities, so we were physically apart but would keep in touch.

What you are thinking was being friendly PLA, was most likely him thinking of you as an acquaintance. As I said, something very deep inside him died. I am not surprised to hear that he was friendly and acted like it didn't matter any more. He was being friendly because that is who he is. I seriously doubt that he would trust enough ever again to allow you to be actually close to him. Ever!!! It "doesn't matter any more" because that part of him did in fact die. It is not coming back.

Listen to what he's saying because he's being honest with his words in which you don't want to accept... No one likes rejection or getting their heart crushed...

If you choose to wait, you'll get your heart broken twice as much than before.. the more you push, the more he'll push you away.

Whatever the case may be, protect your heart, because he is too, he won't let you come anywhere near him emotionally after how you treated him and how he views you to this day.