Let's Talk about Sex...

Well, not really, more so a social trend concerning sex.

But since I have your attention, one thing I've noticed is that when I talk about sex with my female friends, the conversation is generally more graphic and explicit. How? When? Where? With who..What to try.. and more... Additionally, I've noticed the trend to carry here on DXP- where the women offer more sexually detailed posts concerning their love lives, than the men do.

Upon discussing this topic with a few male friends, I've come to discover that men aren't as detailed about their sexual encounters (if they bother talking about them at all). At best, men say, "Yeah.. and we 'did it'". If anything, men are more willing to share detailed sexual adventures with another woman- rather than another male- regardless if the other "man" is a close friend or not.... Why is that?

Moreover - if, stereotypically, male behaviors are more sexually motivated than those of females... then shouldn't men be more vocal about it too? Is it that men are less comfortable offering details? Or do they deem such discussions to be unnecessary?

Agree/Disagree.. share your thoughts.

Good question STD...

I think it stems from the whole women are better communicators things. If you take sex out of the equation and talk about life in general...women are more graphic in their descriptions of everything. If you are hearing an account of the same story from a man as opposed to a woman, I would be willing to bet the woman's story will be longer and more detailed.

As far as sexuality is concerned...I think women are more comfortable at any age to speak with OTHER WOMEN about these things than men would be. Only when the men are teenagers do they go into specifics and usually they are lying about most of them!

Look at magazines for instance...a Maxim magazine would show a beautiful woman in a very sexual position insinuating things, but they won't give a description of how to give a woman good hand. On the other hand, in Cosmo...you might see a man without a shirt which is not very visually stimulating, but they will give you a blow by blow (no pun intended) description of how to give a man amazing oral sex.

Just my thoughts....CL/Cm2

Interesting topic STD.

I want to answer one of your questions that you've asked:

"If anything, men are more willing to share detailed sexual adventures with another woman- rather than another male- regardless if the other "man" is a close friend or not.... Why is that?"

It is not appretiated to talk about feelings in male to male conversations. It is considered as "soft". This is something that is against pride of male personality. This is really stupid IMHO. There are alot problems that can arise because of that dumb situation. This is the biggest source of male to male agression as well. They are choising to duel instead of logical conversation. Men are tactless in that department of life when compared to women. Why tactless? Because there are true problems that arise in that department and the only solution for it is to speak. But they do not. And at the end this situation they choise to stay silent because of the problem of "what others will think". This is absolutely stupid, but true.

Haffo,

I agree and disagree at the same time...I think men TALK about relationships, at least in America, but they don't talk about them to the degree that women do. They may mention problems they are having with their women, which their friends usually give them BAD advice on what to do...but I think a conversation between men about their relationships as opposed to just sex would be different so you can't categorize them in the same place.

So, do you think that men are missing out on learning more about themselves when they choose NOT to talk about sex with their male friends? Is it possible men would overall be better lovers if they were more vocal with male friends.. shared tips and what-not?

CL/Cm2- Do you think women understand more about sex or life by discussing more-- in such detailed fashion? You know.. working as a collective mind?

I don't necessarily think we are any more or less confused than the guys are sometimes...

Yes indeed STD.

That would surely help alot but I can't say whereither it would make men better lovers or not. I think this is more personal talent rather than something to be learned by communication. I think you can give a better answer to that latter part, since you have experience with it.

"I think men TALK about relationships, at least in America, but they don't talk about them to the degree that women do."

All men are same everywhere. They just do not give raw information as women do. They just exaggerate their experiences to show how strong they are etc. This is not what we are speaking here, because this sort of expression is very biased and includes no information which you can "fix".

I think this is an insecurity.

Not sharing details.

Not so sure about "rating" people. It's a very rudimentary form of giving validation or showing disapproval. IMHO- the rate system is the "easy" way to indicate that you like/dislike someone (or something) without formally committing to saying so.

I think some people discuss life/sex/feelings on more realistic terms because they want more informative feedback. May or may not be something that's insecure- more so, not being mentally ready to have such conversations.

Haffo...

Men are not the same everywhere...How can you say that when value systems are in place for all societies which affect daily life including sexual activity and relationships? For instances, there are countries in which women cannot show any part of their bodies and other countries where women walk around with a thong on at the beach. Do you REALLY think these seperate groups of people have the same views on revealing their sexual selves? I think not...I can see your point as in GENERALLY men don't communicate as well as women in such situations, but you cannot say all groups & cultures of men are the same world wide.

As far as becoming better lovers, you can be taught all you want and discuss all you want, but if the desire to satisfy your woman comes from within it cannot be made to happen just by talking about it to your friends. Tips help, but overall even if you learn those tips, if you have no desire to please your partner...you won't do it!

Whatever customs are subject to change from one culture to another, the fact that all men do NOT talk about about their sexual intercourses in details is NOT one of them.

sagitTAUries - I think that there are many men out there who are willing to use women as a guide to be better lovers- however, there are SO many others who use magazines or movies to assess what to do in sexual situations. Which is definitely an environment conducive to the over inflated ego. But I will agree, that many men "wear their dicks on their sleeves.." in the sense that many men want and seek approval and "success" in the bedroom than they tend to lead on.

OFA, I hate to tell you- but neither men nor sex becomes less confusing... at least not for me. In my experience, every plateau of understanding lead to another confusing dynamic.. hence why I don't mind discussing it with others. Also, when I say "talking about sex"-- you don't necessarily have to let go your own need for privacy in order to discuss sex. What I mean is, you don't have to give all the dirty details to talk about emotions/meanings/problems whatever. But just for fun, what is it that you find confusing?

Haffo, although I agree that men everywhere share similar personality traits (it is what makes MEN.. MEN 😉 ), I don't think the reasons why men do the things they do are all the same. I do think that cultural influences come into play when a man hide or share certain aspects of his sexual experiences.

well personally id love to have a dick 4 a day... jus to see wat it felt like to have this thing swing between your legs. haha itd b soo excitin to see wat it feels like for a guy to cum.. this is not 2 b a dirty sort of a post id jus really love 2 know! haha

Gday everyone long time no log in.

Interesting topic Seizer, as usual. I've often thought about this when being trapped in room with a bunch of story swapping ladies. I reckon MAYBE blokes share less detail because their mates are more likely to fantasize about the chick in question if they have certain types of info about what she get's up to in the sack.

Men definately sit around drinking beer with their chest's puffed talking about chicks they've slept with and who did this and that. But usually they're girls from the past or a girl they never really had feelings for. But certainly not all guys do this.

So my beleif is that we ultimately protect our own feeling from our sleazy mates. As you said, we don't tend to have a problem talking to our girl friends about our encounters, do we? Pretty sad but it's just a theory.

As far as blokes talking about their feeling, I think some women would be suprized just how much guys do talk about emotions and stuff.

One thing I've always found amuzing is how women react to strippers compared to men.

BJ ((((((( hugs )))))))) !!

*ahem ~~ fixes hair and skirt*

Yeah, so, you mention that men talk about their emotions more than women realize- but to who? Their girlfriends? Their other male friends? You also said that men are more inclined to talk about a sexual encounter that was meaningless to them rather than those that are "special". This seems like somewhat of a contradiction, don't you think? Unless men are just selectively sharing the sordid details to some friends- and the intimate details with others.

I guess cancerLady said it best when she said it all boils down to using communication as a tool. I agree with her in thinking that women like to communicate with others more... whether it be about sex or anything else.

As for the strippers... I don't know about other women, but I personally find male strippers hilarious. I just can't get turned on by a man in a G-string and boots-- dancing to club music.

Love a good hug!

I don't see a contradiction Seizer. I can only speak for myself obviously but I talk quite openly with my good mates about my emotions and stuff. I'd tell a mate intimate stuff about my feelings toward a girlfriend but I wouldn't tell them about an intimate moment with that girlfriend. I guess when I'm in love with someone I like to keep those moments private where some woman like to tell there friends how romantic it all was.

A chick would be more likely to tell her friends about how big their partner's Johnson is than a bloke would be to tell his mates about his girls privates. You would expect it to be the other way around but it's not. I honestly think it's because they don't want their mates thinking like that about their girl.

As far as communication goes, I don't think woman are any better at communicating than men, they just find it nessesary to communicate about more things than we do. Things that men don't find a need to talk so much about. I guess that's why chicks seem to like telephones more than guys.

Also women like to advertise and recommend some men whom they find very appealing for a dating and further of that a relationship...

I never seen that with men...I think this difference has alot to do with your topic STD.

Nobody has to know what i do. And women aren't better at communication, it's just a lame misconception.

Because women are the real pigs and men are just there to sit around and look pretty.🙂Maybe an occassional slap on the ass from a woman.

YUP, Tia- that's pretty much me.

OFA, I think men are just as confused as we are...

Oh no, we're way more confused than you are...

Women are so sleazy, I feel dirty.....

Is that your way of asking for help in the bathing department,BJ?😉

Subtle, aren't I?

well let's get you naked, then..

Im always naked😢