R1g0rM0rT1s
@R1g0rM0rT1s
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what were you aries girls like as teenagers?
Do yourself a big favor and give yourself permission for this: Stop being soft on her. Put her arse in military or reform school of some sort if she keeps that crap up. I was nothing like that when I was a teen. In fact I was the opposite, my Leo brothers were like her and that was the ultimatum laid out for them: straighten up or get someone else to straighten them out. Probably why I didn't test the waters.
You're a Scorpio, my dad is a Scorpio. Your punishments are creative and long lasting. Teach her the way to treat you by giving her back twice as hard as she gives. She is your girl, but to be a young woman you can depend on she needs to gain your trust and respect back.
You're a Scorpio, my dad is a Scorpio. Your punishments are creative and long lasting. Teach her the way to treat you by giving her back twice as hard as she gives. She is your girl, but to be a young woman you can depend on she needs to gain your trust and respect back.
I was pretty wild when I was younger but not as bad as my mom thought. I started smoking in the 9th grade tho and failed and cut all my classes the 1st semester and thats as bad as it got. I got drunk once in hs. But after that 1st failed semester I was good I went to night school and summer school and ended up with like 2 classes senior year, and I always had job in hs and rarely asked my moms for money. I mean ive done some wild shit but I was also smart and never took it too far. Prior to hs my moms made me go to school everyday and put a bunch of pressure on me academically. The minute I could get away with cutting school I was on it but I knew good and well I wasnt going to be spending any more than my 4 alloted years in hs. In between all that there are stories my mother could tell you from her perspective and she would say I was wild too and that I had her worried. But deep down I knew I wasnt going to end up pregnant and left back I was just having fun. I would say you have to get her to respect you and then it may work. My phase passed but I get wild whenever I feel like it now only diff is Im grown. Im no goody two shoes tho , and life is more fun that way.
My mother in a Cancer Leo moon and my dad is a scorp dont know his moon.
My mother in a Cancer Leo moon and my dad is a scorp dont know his moon.
You already answered your own question- you're being a doormat.
As for the rest, it should pass. I was a hellion at 13-14. Generally well behaved, but because of some issues at school, I got caught up with truancy problems and had to go to juvie over it. Kinda was like a scared straight thing. Except the issue was an underlying one, not just my acting out for no apparent reason.
As for the rest, it should pass. I was a hellion at 13-14. Generally well behaved, but because of some issues at school, I got caught up with truancy problems and had to go to juvie over it. Kinda was like a scared straight thing. Except the issue was an underlying one, not just my acting out for no apparent reason.
oh yeah...i know i'm being a doormat for sure. was pretty much a doormat to her father also who notably was a little shit when he was younger...his mother telling me she loved him but didn't like him even in his 20s. actually, his mother was like me...too soft for her own good but now she's in her 80's, she finally has him treating her like the queen she is.
i grew up in an ultra strict environment. almost military cos my dad was an army man. all i can remember from my teen years is the humiliation of not feeling respected for being an individual and being told what i could or couldn't think, do, say or feel. i guess i just swung the other way when i had kids of my own.
i am also experiencing considerable interference from an aries 'friend'. a christian. she believes my daughter needs correcting and feels that as i'm not 'capable', she should 'assist' me. she actually came to my apartment and wanted to pray with me over it? thing is, her own sag daughter has been lying to her saying she's spending time with my daughter when actually she's been hanging out with a 17 year old boy (she's still 12 too)....i really don't appreciate the kind of 'assistance' this woman is offering me considering how blind she is to her own child's faults. what is worse is that she's been emailing my ex husband behind my back and i'm sure they've both concluded i'm a crap parent.
anyhow....i don't know if i'm suddenly supposed to turn into a disciplinarian with my daughter cos it's just not in my nature. she's being very sheepish this morning and i'm still not really talking to her to give her a chance to think about her behaviour.
i find it very depressing. my ex is not capable of seeing his daughter as she really is...mostly cos her behaviour changes when she's with him. i get absolutely no support from him and my daughter knows it so she constantly plays us off against eachother.
for example: i took her clothes shopping and spent quite a lot on her. one week later, she was bored with her new clothes so she messaged her father in england saying she had nothing to wear. few minutes later, he messages me implying i'm selfish and greedy and denying her what she NEEDS. he doesn't stop to think there are two sides before launching into his tirades.
omg....will me and my daughter ever be good friends? when she was little, i was all she needed 😢
i grew up in an ultra strict environment. almost military cos my dad was an army man. all i can remember from my teen years is the humiliation of not feeling respected for being an individual and being told what i could or couldn't think, do, say or feel. i guess i just swung the other way when i had kids of my own.
i am also experiencing considerable interference from an aries 'friend'. a christian. she believes my daughter needs correcting and feels that as i'm not 'capable', she should 'assist' me. she actually came to my apartment and wanted to pray with me over it? thing is, her own sag daughter has been lying to her saying she's spending time with my daughter when actually she's been hanging out with a 17 year old boy (she's still 12 too)....i really don't appreciate the kind of 'assistance' this woman is offering me considering how blind she is to her own child's faults. what is worse is that she's been emailing my ex husband behind my back and i'm sure they've both concluded i'm a crap parent.
anyhow....i don't know if i'm suddenly supposed to turn into a disciplinarian with my daughter cos it's just not in my nature. she's being very sheepish this morning and i'm still not really talking to her to give her a chance to think about her behaviour.
i find it very depressing. my ex is not capable of seeing his daughter as she really is...mostly cos her behaviour changes when she's with him. i get absolutely no support from him and my daughter knows it so she constantly plays us off against eachother.
for example: i took her clothes shopping and spent quite a lot on her. one week later, she was bored with her new clothes so she messaged her father in england saying she had nothing to wear. few minutes later, he messages me implying i'm selfish and greedy and denying her what she NEEDS. he doesn't stop to think there are two sides before launching into his tirades.
omg....will me and my daughter ever be good friends? when she was little, i was all she needed 😢
"Good friends?" There's your problem right there. Too many people think like this and then in turn their child acts like an asshole. You're a PARENT first. "Friend" second. Grow up. You're an adult now raising another human being. Act like it. Wringing your wrists, hoping your daughter likes you enough is what's making things so hard. Kids are far more perceptive than adults realize, will pick up on things like that, and run with it. Kids are always testing parents and what they can get away with. Because "it's not in your nature" to be a hard ass when necessary, she sees you as a push over and takes advantage of that.
Why are you pointing fingers at others who are making this harder on yourself, when you won't do anything to your own behaviors to correct the situation? "I just can't. Besides, THEY make it worse!"
Instead of just going out and buying her a ton of clothes, make her work for that. If she's been a total brat, why are you going to turn around and spoil her by spending tons of money on her? If she needed them, fine. But the second I would have heard that she said that to her dad, all those clothes would have gone back to the store. "NOW you don't have anything to wear!"
Why are you pointing fingers at others who are making this harder on yourself, when you won't do anything to your own behaviors to correct the situation? "I just can't. Besides, THEY make it worse!"
Instead of just going out and buying her a ton of clothes, make her work for that. If she's been a total brat, why are you going to turn around and spoil her by spending tons of money on her? If she needed them, fine. But the second I would have heard that she said that to her dad, all those clothes would have gone back to the store. "NOW you don't have anything to wear!"
So sad but at 13 I was still playing with Barbie dolls. I hve a Sag Mom and dad and they were bat butter crazy. I couldn't even breathe wrong....
Rigor - I was a complete bitch to my family when I was in high school (Sun Pisces/Moon Aries). I wouldn't spend any time with them, I'd lock myself in my room. Admittedly I was not any trouble for them, but I literally acted like I hated them. It got to the point where my mother actually asked me when I was 17 or 18 if I was going to move out. I had no plans on doing that, but that's how poorly I treated them/her (don't get me wrong, I was never abusive or anything, I just wanted zero to do with them).
I'm happy to tell you that my mother is now (sometime in my 20's this happened), one of my best friends. I talk to her almost daily, and because I want to. I respect her like no other, and hope to be at least half of what she is as a woman. And not because she let me do whatever I wanted, but because she was supportive to me as a child and an adult, without just letting me have my way about everything.
A child that respects you will produce an adult that respects you (which would be the cornerstone of an ACTUAL friendship with anyone). Like others have said - friend is not your priority at the moment. It will turn around later, when parenting is no longer your job. Until then... time to buck up and teach this kid the things she needs to know to be a good person in life. If someone else your age were trying to be friends with a 13yr old that wasn't their child, you (and many others) would obviously point out how inappropriate it is, right? So extrapolate from that and realize that until she is an adult making her own choices and supporting herself, "friend" doesn't enter the equation. Think about this - what if the structure you neglect to provide to her as a child produces and adult version of your daughter that resents you for that— Better off for her to hate you now and love you later. Trust that if it happens the other way around, it will likely be justified and a lot harder to overcome.
I wish you luck. I think it's all fairly normal for teenage girls, hence why I dread having a girl! haha (please use that last sentence to understand that I'm by no means trying to make you feel bad with the rest of the post, I'm no parent, my only experience is having my own parents).
I'm happy to tell you that my mother is now (sometime in my 20's this happened), one of my best friends. I talk to her almost daily, and because I want to. I respect her like no other, and hope to be at least half of what she is as a woman. And not because she let me do whatever I wanted, but because she was supportive to me as a child and an adult, without just letting me have my way about everything.
A child that respects you will produce an adult that respects you (which would be the cornerstone of an ACTUAL friendship with anyone). Like others have said - friend is not your priority at the moment. It will turn around later, when parenting is no longer your job. Until then... time to buck up and teach this kid the things she needs to know to be a good person in life. If someone else your age were trying to be friends with a 13yr old that wasn't their child, you (and many others) would obviously point out how inappropriate it is, right? So extrapolate from that and realize that until she is an adult making her own choices and supporting herself, "friend" doesn't enter the equation. Think about this - what if the structure you neglect to provide to her as a child produces and adult version of your daughter that resents you for that— Better off for her to hate you now and love you later. Trust that if it happens the other way around, it will likely be justified and a lot harder to overcome.
I wish you luck. I think it's all fairly normal for teenage girls, hence why I dread having a girl! haha (please use that last sentence to understand that I'm by no means trying to make you feel bad with the rest of the post, I'm no parent, my only experience is having my own parents).
Posted by rockyroadicecream
"Good friends?" There's your problem right there. Too many people think like this and then in turn their child acts like an asshole. You're a PARENT first. "Friend" second. Grow up. You're an adult now raising another human being. Act like it. Wringing your wrists, hoping your daughter likes you enough is what's making things so hard. Kids are far more perceptive than adults realize, will pick up on things like that, and run with it. Kids are always testing parents and what they can get away with. Because "it's not in your nature" to be a hard ass when necessary, she sees you as a push over and takes advantage of that.
Why are you pointing fingers at others who are making this harder on yourself, when you won't do anything to your own behaviors to correct the situation? "I just can't. Besides, THEY make it worse!"
Instead of just going out and buying her a ton of clothes, make her work for that. If she's been a total brat, why are you going to turn around and spoil her by spending tons of money on her? If she needed them, fine. But the second I would have heard that she said that to her dad, all those clothes would have gone back to the store. "NOW you don't have anything to wear!"
now that is the kind of advice i need...thanks!! it's quite convenient that while she's in england i'm moving to another town. she'll be starting a new school and there will be a whole new set of rules in place too. i haven't got the time or energy to be her minion any more. i need to implement some tough love. gonna work on that.
deezie: that was refreshing to hear. thanks 🙂
I dont know if im a help since i am virgo. but my sister is an aries. She was definitely like that when she was that age too. out late... coming home smelling like god knows what. But it really is just a teenage phase. my mom got her into school activities that really goes up to her talent. she was really good in art. But i wouldnt consider forcing her doing what she doesn't want to do. she might just hate you forever. but try not to be easy going either. then she'll really not thank you in the future. I would really consider a little less softy and more "punishments" for her actions. Or maybe just let her learn on her own.
When I was thirteen I had to take care of my younger sisters,used to make milk formula all the time, helped around the house. My mom really counted on me. Doesn't mean I wasn't a lil cookiemanster>😉 I used to go to all the places she tells me not to. I don't care if she'll whip my a $ $ later. Some of her friends will spot me and I'll be like shyt here we go. One time after school I hanged out for 3 hours or something. Mom was pregnant maybe 8 months worried *poor mom* when I cameback she started runing after me with her big belly! I ended up hiding in this huge empty water container. She started screaming wait till my delivery.ofcourse I was excited she can't reach me. I'm not telling you to use violence like my mom but as they said punishment and rules will work. Doesn't mean she wont break them sometimes. BTW just like your daughter I'm( aries sun and scorpio rising),my moon libra.
I was pretty well-bahaved for an Aries kid lol There was absolutely no room for rebellion of any kind since my parents were extremely strict. I wasn't allowed to talk back or question them.
I had to be home by 8:30pm. During high school I had a part time job so I would sometimes miss this curfew and get into trouble for it. I also had to drop off and pick up my little sis from daycare. My parents worked really late so it was my responsibility to make sure dinner was prepared every night and the house was spick and span . I had a lot of appreciation for my parents and how hard they worked. That definitely prevented me from acting out and making their lives even harder. I didn't think I had the right to do that to them.
I had to be home by 8:30pm. During high school I had a part time job so I would sometimes miss this curfew and get into trouble for it. I also had to drop off and pick up my little sis from daycare. My parents worked really late so it was my responsibility to make sure dinner was prepared every night and the house was spick and span . I had a lot of appreciation for my parents and how hard they worked. That definitely prevented me from acting out and making their lives even harder. I didn't think I had the right to do that to them.
13 Oh gosh.
sorry to say this but aries girls are very very sexual, she could be even having sex with guys of age 20, its very common for latin ppl to give birth early, because they start having sex very early in life, you should be very strict with her
Posted by KingOfAries
sorry to say this but aries girls are very very sexual, she could be even having sex with guys of age 20, its very common for latin ppl to give birth early, because they start having sex very early in life, you should be very strict with her
....
I don't even know where to start with this.
Posted by loner
I was pretty well-bahaved for an Aries kid lol There was absolutely no room for rebellion of any kind since my parents were extremely strict. I wasn't allowed to talk back or question them.
I had to be home by 8:30pm. During high school I had a part time job so I would sometimes miss this curfew and get into trouble for it. I also had to drop off and pick up my little sis from daycare. My parents worked really late so it was my responsibility to make sure dinner was prepared every night and the house was spick and span . I had a lot of appreciation for my parents and how hard they worked. That definitely prevented me from acting out and making their lives even harder. I didn't think I had the right to do that to them.
Gotta love having to grow up fast like that. *cough*
lol It wasn't fun though. I eventually went out looking for some kind of thrill. This came in the shape of a boy lol I became romantically involved with a bad boy who I later found out was in a gang. He hid that little (ok huge) piece of information from me (probably 'cause he didnt want me to worry) My parents didn't like the way he dressed.They were like "You're not seriously dating that thug, are you?!!??" . But he was really sweet. Never did anything to harm me. He just wasn't very kind to himself...😢 he had low self esteem and very little belief in himself which is probably the reason why he was in a gang...his parents weren't good to him either.
Love 366 and I both are aries sun, Leo moon and Scorpio rising!
I am the eldest of four kids so my parents were really strict with me! I wasn't allowed going out to sleep at friends even until I was 16. I think they were worried about sexual abuse...
Anyway, so the whole way through high school they were strict with me and I couldn't go out and be social at all on the weekends until senior year. The one time they did let me out in 11th grade I decided to get high on pot and they caught me! I was grounded for like a year.
I was a pretty good kid though! If my parents said no, and explained why they were saying no, then I would accept it. But that doesn't mean I wasn't defiant every now and then! If I was ill and my mom tried to force me to go to school, I downright refused and wouldn't budge. I remember at some point during high school she was telling people what a monster I was and she'd call me a bitch. I musta done something uncool to make her say that!
After I finished high school that was it pretty much. They couldn't keep me from being developing a social life and I let rip on sowing my wild oats and making up for lost time in a big way. I only lost my virginity when I was 19 tho! Believe it or not! And now... I'm probably one of the most promiscuous women you will ever meet!
Nowadays she thinks I'm psychotic. It's extremely laughable.
My mother an my relationship needs to be worked on though because I do love her, but I love the woman who raised me, not the drunk she's decided to become in the second half of her life and I'm not very tolerant of her drinking. I have also lost a lot of respect for her with some of her behaviour over the past few years because of her drinking.
She also tends to try manipulate me into being her shield against other people because she knows just how badass strong my character is. I'll stand my ground against anyone! I think our sun/moon/rising combo is an all star line up with the three most powerful signs there are.
Youve got yourself a large firecracker on your hands lady! I wouldn't want to go up against me in anything. Good thing is she'll be able to look after herself and she'll be a force to be reckoned with when she grows up!
Scuze me if I sound full on myself...!!! I did just mention my signs were Aries, Leo and Scorpio... A lot of ego!
I am the eldest of four kids so my parents were really strict with me! I wasn't allowed going out to sleep at friends even until I was 16. I think they were worried about sexual abuse...
Anyway, so the whole way through high school they were strict with me and I couldn't go out and be social at all on the weekends until senior year. The one time they did let me out in 11th grade I decided to get high on pot and they caught me! I was grounded for like a year.
I was a pretty good kid though! If my parents said no, and explained why they were saying no, then I would accept it. But that doesn't mean I wasn't defiant every now and then! If I was ill and my mom tried to force me to go to school, I downright refused and wouldn't budge. I remember at some point during high school she was telling people what a monster I was and she'd call me a bitch. I musta done something uncool to make her say that!
After I finished high school that was it pretty much. They couldn't keep me from being developing a social life and I let rip on sowing my wild oats and making up for lost time in a big way. I only lost my virginity when I was 19 tho! Believe it or not! And now... I'm probably one of the most promiscuous women you will ever meet!
Nowadays she thinks I'm psychotic. It's extremely laughable.
My mother an my relationship needs to be worked on though because I do love her, but I love the woman who raised me, not the drunk she's decided to become in the second half of her life and I'm not very tolerant of her drinking. I have also lost a lot of respect for her with some of her behaviour over the past few years because of her drinking.
She also tends to try manipulate me into being her shield against other people because she knows just how badass strong my character is. I'll stand my ground against anyone! I think our sun/moon/rising combo is an all star line up with the three most powerful signs there are.
Youve got yourself a large firecracker on your hands lady! I wouldn't want to go up against me in anything. Good thing is she'll be able to look after herself and she'll be a force to be reckoned with when she grows up!
Scuze me if I sound full on myself...!!! I did just mention my signs were Aries, Leo and Scorpio... A lot of ego!
I was polite, dutiful (2 jobs and looked after all our animals.) Seen and not heard, like all good children.
My stupid mother got it into her head that I was a slut.
I wasn't (all the boys at school where at the stage where they were total retards so I thought all guys were like that and didn't want anything to do with them.)
In addition to this, I also had some career ambitions that didn't need the complications of the possibility of getting pregnant!!
So she accused me of lying about it (when I denied being a slut.)
I try not to have much to do with her if I can help it.
The wisdom of old age has finally kicked in and I understand that people believe what they want to believe and you can shove all evidence to the contrary in front of them and they will ignore it and believe whatever they want.
My stupid mother got it into her head that I was a slut.
I wasn't (all the boys at school where at the stage where they were total retards so I thought all guys were like that and didn't want anything to do with them.)
In addition to this, I also had some career ambitions that didn't need the complications of the possibility of getting pregnant!!
So she accused me of lying about it (when I denied being a slut.)
I try not to have much to do with her if I can help it.
The wisdom of old age has finally kicked in and I understand that people believe what they want to believe and you can shove all evidence to the contrary in front of them and they will ignore it and believe whatever they want.
My mom was all worried I was a lesbian and even told me so. I was in soccer and really wasn't boy crazy as a teenager. I was too focused on soccer and wanting to go somewhere with it. To that, one day she even made a comment "you'd better not be a lesbian."
Gee thanks mom.
Gee thanks mom.
Our lesbians all played netball or softball😉
Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
I was polite, dutiful (2 jobs and looked after all our animals.) Seen and not heard, like all good children.
My stupid mother got it into her head that I was a slut.
I wasn't (all the boys at school where at the stage where they were total retards so I thought all guys were like that and didn't want anything to do with them.)
In addition to this, I also had some career ambitions that didn't need the complications of the possibility of getting pregnant!!
So she accused me of lying about it (when I denied being a slut.)
I try not to have much to do with her if I can help it.
The wisdom of old age has finally kicked in and I understand that people believe what they want to believe and you can shove all evidence to the contrary in front of them and they will ignore it and believe whatever they want.
yeah i learned this long time ago, but only stupid people believe what they want to believe, watch this video
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at my tether's end with her. dunno what to do. *shrugs*