cancer guy pulling away - should I (scorpio)leave?

Hello all...I have read a few threads here about the problem with cancer guys pulling away. Mine is taking a serious emotional toll on me. We met 2 months ago and things were great. He was the one to compliment me, kiss me first, shower with affection, and planning countless dates. He would text me all the time. Wanted to be around me all the time. Shared a lot about himself too. He dropped "dating" words couple of times too. We felt immediate chemistry too. Sex was great.
He would do nice things for me - like go shopping for futniture with me, help me assemble it. It all started to get weird when he promised to do something and did not follow on his promise. I was sad. He acknowledged it and appologized a million times. Gradually he started to pull away after a month of amazing dates. At one point he did not call me, text me, or aske me out for a good week. I asked him why (a mistake?). He promised he does not ignore me on purpose and just got busy...time flew by...he was frustrated with work and did not want to pour the negativity on me; he promised to work on it. We had a little talk and he said he is interested, he likes me a lot; he would be honest if he did not like me, he wouldnt lead me on etc. I admit I had my crazy girl moment over this and he handled it without getting angry or pissed with me. He was supportive, understanding, and said he appreciated my honesty - I told him I would not tolerate a guy who ignores me because it is disrespectful.
He has not initiated contact for a good 2 weeks now. However, if I initiate a contact he will gladly respond. If I offer to go somewhere - he will gladly go. But does not ask me out himself. However, when we meet, he acts different, somewhat distant.No compliments, no affection, no physical contact...like he won't hold my hand.These things make me feel that he is not interested anymore. However...When I have a problem he is there to help me right away! Like...when my car broke down. he drove to pick me up right away and offered to give me a ride to work next day.He seems to be genuinely caring, asking me questions about how I am doing, how my life is, my family etc.He always pays for dates too. When we say goodbye he hugs me really close...like you would hug someone you feel physical attraction to. Although the last time I tried to give him a little peck on lips...he seems to want to avoid it. Not interested or just pulling away to sort things out? I am confused...Your thoughts would be helpful!

Posted by acrabbycrab12
you have to prove to use your worth it. we play games, best bet is to somewhat play along. I love that, even if it's something childish if someone can play along and keep the flo

acrabbycrab12,
what do you mean play along. Mirror his behavior? Pull away? Or flirt with him?
Also, should I initiate contact with him? Or let him come to me.
Should I be sexy around him or just act frindly?
Does it still mean that he is interested. I clearly get mixed signals there..

So many men are pulling this shit, it never seems to be good for the woman short term or long term. I would suggest you move on, moving on doesn't mean moving on completely, of course you can leave the door open if something changes but typically when men pull this kind of honeymoon her to the point that she feel she's found her soul mate and disappear crap is because he's found someone else, be careful some men are only in it for the honeymoon and once that HIGH wears off he's off to bag another.

Realistically you don't have much wiggle room, you can trust him, he's too busy with work etc or you can move on, focus on yourself, leave the door cracked open for communication but honestly this could be MONTHS waiting on the guy YOU USED to know to come back. Don't waste your time with this, he's gone, he's not initiating a relationship, he's not initiating communication and you can't be in a relationship all by yourself doing all of the relationship work so as stands right now, it's over, things could pick up again, use this down time to figure out if you really want to take a guy seriously that easily walks out of your life the way he has.

I think you should give him his space. Stay active and involved in a passion in the meantime and if/when he comes back continue your other interests and don't put him over those interests. If he doesn't come around there are other Cancer men out there.

Here are some videos from Matt Boggs, I love his advice. He has other videos. Maybe they can help you.

Best of luck!

Posted by acrabbycrab12

Posted by Hermoza

Posted by acrabbycrab12
you have to prove to use your worth it. we play games, best bet is to somewhat play along. I love that, even if it's something childish if someone can play along and keep the flo

acrabbycrab12,
what do you mean play along. Mirror his behavior? Pull away? Or flirt with him?
Also, should I initiate contact with him? Or let him come to me.
Should I be sexy around him or just act frindly?
Does it still mean that he is interested. I clearly get mixed signals there..

be sexy (not slutty sexy with gstring and clevege showing) and friendly. don't mirror the behavior. flirt let him know your available sort of pull away but not to the point of unavailability. He's probably shy but he also has to work to get what he wants. if none of this works then just move on.

click to expand

OK, thanks for the input. I have seen him in the morning. He was nice enough to give me a ride. I noticed that when I looked at him, he looked away. We talk the same as before. I was dressed very nicely to work and he complemented me (yay, first time in 2 weeks). He gave me a hug too. I guess looking good probably does push some buttons with him. What I am really unsure is...how do I get a chance to remind him of my presense and interest in him without being too pushy.I do not want to do a "sexy thing" either as he clearly withdraws from kissing and other affectionate behavior (other than hugging). How much of the contact is enough at this "slippery stage". Is it okay to initiate the contact? I can't and don't want to go cold turkey on him, as even if romance does not work out I would be okay to have him as a friend.

LunarMaiden, thanks for the advice! How do I give him this space. I recall he got super offended thinking I was ignoring his texts (I did not, I just never received them). He tends to assume things a lot. Especially over the damn texts. I fear that if I stop contactig him he will get the idea that I am not interested anymore and will withdraw even more. He admitted that in his college years he was super shy with girls. I assume he somewhat still is. But it seems like he pulled away to see how I will go about providing him the validation he needs. He seems to enjoy himself if I offer to go somewhere or pay him a compliment. It is so confusing....

Girl you are a SCORPIO...Fuck him. sorry not to be hasty with words but hon scorpios are known for once they see it aint right, they move on to the next better thing lol plus when he see's you moving on and putting your time and attention to another guy he's going to try to see you again...but I suggest if you have found another guy to focus on, dont even give this cancer your time of day. Love yourself more then too allow yourself to be second choice...make yourself something to regret leaving! and this isnt over astrology wise its just advice from one female to another. lol

Posted by Theultra79
I've been dating my cancer guy for 8 mons with one regrettable break initiated by me. Sounds almost like the same thing except we didn't become intimate until very recently. All I can say is patience! Slow your roll! I had to learn this about him. 2 mons is like the blink of an eye to cancers. They have to really build trust with someone. And they won't be rushed. At first I felt like you, wondering how he felt because of a sudden change in behavior. I broke things off cause it was driving me crazy!! But My heart just couldn't release him. I've decided to chill out, let him lead the pace of the relationship and not obsess over him! Stop keeping track of his movements, relax, do ur own thing. Always be nice and flirty but don't give him more than he's giving you. Take the time to check him out, the same way he's checking you out right now. It takes time to really get to know someone. I do think he's playing a game with you. Trying to see how you'll react to his withdrawal. Stay cool and act like you didn't even notice. He already knows ur crazy about him so don't worry.

Thanks for the input. Encouraging!
I have decided myself to withdraw. And not necessarily to play a game. I myself feel confused and want to sort it out in my head. I do not like games; similarly, I do not like to be played games with. I am unsure as how I feel. I like the guy quiet a lot, but not sure that such drama is a good price for a shot to have a relationship.

But Theultra79, did he reach out to you after the "pullback" phase? How did the relation pick up again?

Posted by Theultra79
He never really went away, he'd always text to check on how I was doing every other day or so. We stayed friendly, no romance. It was me who decided to come back after I realized I'd made a mistake. That was 4 mons ago. I feel the relationship getting stronger and it has more substance. He tells me he loves me more often than before. I think he's starting to understand that I'm around for the long haul and he can trust I won't run away again cause I'm not getting my way. It stopped driving me crazy once I realized I wanted him in my life even if it just meant we would only be friends. Take the idea of having a relationship out of ur mind to ease the pressure and be his friend for now. See what happens.

well, in my case he does not really initiate contact. It can be 5 days with nothing from him. And even if he texts to ask how i am doing, that is it. He does not ask me out. If i bring it up, he'll be glad to.do whatever i offer. So....should i.initiate some contact? Or wait on him?

I am not a scorpio but i am scorp venus, mercury, uranus, midheaven, Fortune etc and it will drive you insane

Luckily my sag sun makes it so i can walk easy from a bad situation. They are all about themselves and there moods. Being scorpio with that temper he will just infuriate you.

get a mental challenge where you know where you stand. They are cold wet fish when it comes to passion and we need that from a man. We also need a man not a wimpy man. If that makes sense 😄

With scorpio its you give me your all, or i will give you my nothing! lol