Holding onto Past Hurt

So this guy requested me on FB and I was shocked because i barely talked to this guy in high school. I had a huge crush on him and when i told him, he basically ridiculed me for it and his then girlfriend ( that i didnt know about) also started to publicly embarrass me. I felt a very strong pull from this man but the type of rejection was just so off the charts. lets be honest, i was a 3 with the confidence of a 10.

Anyways the ridicule on his part was really a dark place in my younger years. but whateves, there was another guy in my life at that time who stuck up for me and was a rock.

So fast forward 15 years later, he friend requested me on FB. I let the FR stand for about 3 days and i was curious so i pulled his chart. I pulled because even through a photo i still felt a strong pull from him. kinda undeniable. Like i could still feel the chemistry i felt 15 years ago.

Horse
Pisces Sun
Cancer Moon
Mercury Aries
Mars Cancer
Venus in Aries

then i just became really unsettled with accepting the requesting. i unfriend the next morning.

I guess am I wrong to hold onto past hurt? I cant say that i ever took the time to personally have a conversation with myself that ive forgiven him.

There were some other people i went to high school with, who came to me and publicly apologized for their treatment of me. So it was appreciated.

But this guy was different.

thoughts?

Posted by tiziani
There's not really much that can be said with just five placements.

Some people believe in looking at Chiron for this theme.

Zodiac in degrees 0.00 Placidus Orb:0
Sun Pisces 26.45 Ascendant Cancer 15.38
Moon Cancer 7.01 II Leo 5.02
Mercury Aries 12.59 III Leo 27.23
Venus Aries 9.59 IV Virgo 25.37
Mars Cancer 23.37 V Scorpio 1.38
Jupiter Gemini 27.08 VI Sagittarius 11.04
Saturn Leo 24.55 R VII Capricorn 15.38
Uranus Scorpio 16.06 R VIII Aquarius 5.02
Neptune Sagittarius 18.19 IX Aquarius 27.23
Pluto Libra 15.52 R Midheaven Pisces 25.37
Lilith Cancer 6.36 XI Taurus 1.38
Asc node Libra 5.57 XII Gemini 11.04


Chiron in Taurus

Sun Trine Mars 3.08 49
Sun Square Jupiter 0.23 -98
Sun Conjunction Midheaven 1.08 355
Moon Square Mercury 5.58 -1
Moon Square Venus 2.59 -85
Moon Conjunction Jupiter 9.53 7
Moon Conjunction Ascendant 8.38 74
Mercury Conjunction Venus 2.60 294
Mercury Trine Neptune 5.20 33
Mercury Opposition Pluto 2.53 -122
Mercury Square Ascendant 2.39 -45
Venus Opposition Pluto 5.52 -39
Venus Square Ascendant 5.39 -3
Mars Trine Uranus 7.32 3
Mars Conjunction Ascendant 7.59 24
Mars Trine Midheaven 1.60 23
Jupiter Sextile Saturn 2.12 40
Jupiter Opposition Neptune 8.48 -2
Jupiter Square Midheaven 1.31 -26
Saturn Trine Neptune 6.36 7
Uranus Trine Ascendant 0.28 28
Neptune Sextile Pluto 2.28 23
Pluto Square Ascendant 0.13 -10
960 -431 529

Posted by retrogradexy
He probably thought, "how dare you tell me this when I have a gf"

Or he liked you too

if my memory recalls, he never said he had a GF. I dont want to relive my hurt but the way he treated me was unacceptable.

i do remember. When i first laid eyes on him.He was in the hallway cutting class and i was in science class. He was wearing shades and we still made eye contact.

this is all just very odd.

Posted by feby
I would say to trust your instincts. Every time I didn't listen to that little voice I always was like WTF WHY

word.

i was in the shower this morning and i was like NO. something is up with this sugar honey iced tea.

Sounds like you never got/gave closure when it ended. Did you ice him out?

Posted by Happygolucky
Sounds like you never got/gave closure when it ended. Did you ice him out?

no, there was absolutely no closure. my male friend had some choice words with him and i graduated high school and went on with my life.

no i didnt ice him out. I was just embarrassed beyond repair.

Posted by Rambunctious76
Things change after 15 years. Maybe he wanted to make amends but wasn't sure how to?

i was thinking that.

He does have a daughter now, so maybe that has put things into perspective for him.

This would be a tough conversation to even begin on his part. i dont even know how one would go about putting the sentence together.

I definitely have the ability to read men completely wrong. So ive learned to only deal with hard tangible words and actions. So im not going to speculate on this.

I could wonder "why" all day.

right now, i will deal with what i see. a blast from the past who sent a friend request.

Posted by LadyOfRebirth
Astrology aside, we are talking about a situation that happened amongst teens, and as we all know teenagers have an enormous amount of pressure to fit in so to speak. Im gonna say something, but don't take it as me trying to defend what he's done.. It's very likely that the Pisces felt pressurised to act a certain way. I can totally see it, esp with those cancer placements.

I've experienced similar experiences multiple times with boys bullying me throughout high school, because I wasn't "cool enough".. Only to find out later on they had a crush on me and didn't know what to do with it.

I do agree though with the others saying that you should go with your gut, and if you can't find it in you to forgive him that's fine. Shit like that does stick around in your head regardless of how confident a person is.

In my case I just shrugged it off, and it helped that I never saw any of them after high school anymore. For whatever reason even back then I just chalked it up to them being insecure and trying to fit in, which made it a lot easier for me to not even be that bothered about it.

right

High School Problems. SO glad to be done with that shit.

when I was in high school I was a nerd, not into having a gf, and later I realized I had been rude with many girls, without even being conscious of it most of the time. back in HS I was a bit embarassed because I had a lot of girls eyeing me, it must have made me a little shy and unfriendly toward girls.
Sometimes I think I'd like to get in touch with one of these girls I rejected, just to become friend and know about their life. I'd feel closure to know that they're having a happy life.

Posted by hydorah
when I was in high school I was a nerd, not into having a gf, and later I realized I had been rude with many girls, without even being conscious of it most of the time. back in HS I was a bit embarassed because I had a lot of girls eyeing me, it must have made me a little shy and unfriendly toward girls.
Sometimes I think I'd like to get in touch with one of these girls I rejected, just to become friend and know about their life. I'd feel closure to know that they're having a happy life.

he was very popular so i wasnt the only one going for him. But it makes sense what you said above.

i just dont like old wounds to be reopened, even tho their is a good intention behind it.

Is it holding on? Or are you just cautious?
once you get burned you know better the second time

Posted by 88akka
Some people change along the years and I am sure he remembers he did wrong,
see what he does next. He may want to apologize to you now to be in peace with himself and that may help your scorp moon let go of the resentment. 🙂

unfriending him was the best thing, scorp mooners do not welcome people back in their lives who have hurt them with open arms. never....
I understand how you feel and your reaction. 🙂

youre right i do resent him for how he treated me given that all i did was tell him that i liked him.

Posted by Weeds
Is it holding on? Or are you just cautious?
once you get burned you know better the second time

sho nuff.

DMV only has to touch the stove once to know its hot.

there was just a general curiosity at first. Then my mind went nuts and i had to de friend.

I didnt want to give off the impression that i was OKAY with his treatment nor did i even want to associate him with the word "friend" when he is not and never was.

it seems that you did not really move on

Posted by hydorah
it seems that you did not really move on

i pushed it back to the far reaches of the universe and his friend request brought all that shit right to the forefront.

you must grow out of it, consider that you're worth better now

Posted by hydorah
you must grow out of it, consider that you're worth better now

i know that. he just reopened a wound that i will close right back up.


FB f'n M Zuckerboo is good for rehashing your past when u least expect it

he probably feels guilty for the way he treated you and might be trying to apologize ..closure for both??

Posted by heartofsag
he probably feels guilty for the way he treated you and might be trying to apologize ..closure for both??

If he was a popular asshole back then he is a lonely asshole now looking for someone cause no one wants his ass.

@weeds that could be true too

Posted by Weeds

Posted by heartofsag
he probably feels guilty for the way he treated you and might be trying to apologize ..closure for both??

If he was a popular asshole back then he is a lonely asshole now looking for someone cause no one wants his ass.

click to expand

that 2

Posted by retrogradexy
It's the cancer connection

even when youve never spent any significant time with each other.

Its not like my memories are good ones.

Posted by Weeds

Posted by heartofsag
he probably feels guilty for the way he treated you and might be trying to apologize ..closure for both??

If he was a popular asshole back then he is a lonely asshole now looking for someone cause no one wants his ass.

click to expand

This!

He came across your FB and remembered you wanted him at one point, so he's hoping you still do. LOL

The worst part is, I doubt he remembers the situation the same as you. He'd probably act all surprised at how damaging it was to you. :/

Posted by DMV
So this guy requested me on FB and I was shocked because i barely talked to this guy in high school. I had a huge crush on him and when i told him, he basically ridiculed me for it and his then girlfriend ( that i didnt know about) also started to publicly embarrass me. I felt a very strong pull from this man but the type of rejection was just so off the charts. lets be honest, i was a 3 with the confidence of a 10.

Anyways the ridicule on his part was really a dark place in my younger years. but whateves, there was another guy in my life at that time who stuck up for me and was a rock.

So fast forward 15 years later, he friend requested me on FB. I let the FR stand for about 3 days and i was curious so i pulled his chart. I pulled because even through a photo i still felt a strong pull from him. kinda undeniable. Like i could still feel the chemistry i felt 15 years ago.

Horse
Pisces Sun
Cancer Moon
Mercury Aries
Mars Cancer
Venus in Aries

then i just became really unsettled with accepting the requesting. i unfriend the next morning.

I guess am I wrong to hold onto past hurt? I cant say that i ever took the time to personally have a conversation with myself that ive forgiven him.

There were some other people i went to high school with, who came to me and publicly apologized for their treatment of me. So it was appreciated.

But this guy was different.

thoughts?

My first thought was why do I always miss your threads 😕? Second thought your Moon is strong. Third, he's not the issue. The guys irrelevant. The hurt he triggered is. Explore that.

This may have already been touched on in this thread given I'm late to the party, but those are my thoughts.

ockquote>Posted by DMV

I guess am I wrong to hold onto past hurt?

No actually. It makes sense given this:

Posted by DMV
I cant say that i ever took the time to personally have a conversation with myself...

click to expand

I cut out the last bit because as I stated this isn't about him.

Have you addressed the insecurities he brought to the surface? Truly dealt with it to the point where his his words no longer matter?

^^^^Never mind. Question answered:

Posted by DMV
I dont want to relive my hurt but the way he treated me was unacceptable.

Posted by RatedX
I would assume that someone with Scorpio moon and Mercury would be able to easily detect the motives of others. Those are generally intuitive/wise placements.

You're just letting your past emotions effect your present feelings.

true that.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by DMV
So this guy requested me on FB and I was shocked because i barely talked to this guy in high school. I had a huge crush on him and when i told him, he basically ridiculed me for it and his then girlfriend ( that i didnt know about) also started to publicly embarrass me. I felt a very strong pull from this man but the type of rejection was just so off the charts. lets be honest, i was a 3 with the confidence of a 10.

Anyways the ridicule on his part was really a dark place in my younger years. but whateves, there was another guy in my life at that time who stuck up for me and was a rock.

So fast forward 15 years later, he friend requested me on FB. I let the FR stand for about 3 days and i was curious so i pulled his chart. I pulled because even through a photo i still felt a strong pull from him. kinda undeniable. Like i could still feel the chemistry i felt 15 years ago.

Horse
Pisces Sun
Cancer Moon
Mercury Aries
Mars Cancer
Venus in Aries

then i just became really unsettled with accepting the requesting. i unfriend the next morning.

I guess am I wrong to hold onto past hurt? I cant say that i ever took the time to personally have a conversation with myself that ive forgiven him.

There were some other people i went to high school with, who came to me and publicly apologized for their treatment of me. So it was appreciated.

But this guy was different.

thoughts?

My first thought was why do I always miss your threads 😕? Second thought your Moon is strong. Third, he's not the issue. The guys irrelevant. The hurt he triggered is. Explore that.

This may have already been touched on in this thread given I'm late to the party, but those are my thoughts.

click to expand

i agree. he himself isnt the issue.

I just never dealt with what happened and now its been pushed to the forefront.

I could easily just sink myself back into my work, but that wont solve anything.

Now im just thinking about who i can really talk to. Im not one to put my shiit in the streets, but it would help to talk to someone to see how i can turn a negative into a positive.

I befriended a middle school bully on FB and we actually ended up having a great email convo later. She didn't remember bullying me as hard as she did and come to find out she was going through a lot at that age. Many times childhood bullies aren't acting according to their character, but out of their hurts. I'm not saying that it should be overlooked, but many times I find that if you try to undertand the origin of a thing, you succeed in doing just that.

Our brains have this crazy way of filling in details out of fear or to maintain security where there are no facts. I remind myself that I'm making up the story in order to feel safe when I have unfounded thoughts about a person's intent.

At the end of the day...it's just a FB friend request. You know?

Posted by AquaMermaid
DMV, I won't try to justify what he did to you. If you still feel hurt by his actions after 15 years then I'm sure he must have been really mean. Having too much Cancer and Aries placements together in a chart is really chaotic. The two have such different energies.The Square energy makes one passive aggressive. Cancer Mooners are compassionate and deeply emotional but Aries placements can come across as very in your face and ruthless. One thing is true about Cancer Mooners is that we hold on to the memories. It depends if we want to act on it or not. I think he wanted to reconnect and start over but I guess being a Scorpio mooner, once your trust is broken you never let them in. I don't blame you for that.

its better for everyone involved to just move on from a scorp moon whose been shaken, intentionally or not. IMO

Posted by tiziani
Jealous manlets of peace.

lol

Posted by DMV
i agree. he himself isnt the issue.

I just never dealt with what happened and now its been pushed to the forefront.

I could easily just sink myself back into my work, but that wont solve anything.

Now im just thinking about who i can really talk to. Im not one to put my shiit in the streets, but it would help to talk to someone to see how i can turn a negative into a positive.

Saturn in Sag begins when exactly?

Who says you have to talk to anyone? This is about whatever button he pushed way back then that you either sorted or need to still sort out because it's clearly popping up again. His friend request wouldn't have created such a reaction.

You could talk to someone, but I think you'll get more strength from sorting it out alone. At the very least, try to prevent yourself from looking for ways to shake the feeling off when you talk to someone. Avoiding brought you to this point. Find someone that will ask you the hard questions and do the soul searching on your own.

I was teased when I was younger, but I liked the teaser's friend. Jealousy on his part, who knows, but he was unnecessarily cruel. That sh*t hurt and when the teaser tried to ask me out years later (before FB, so he had to find the balls to face me and ask me in person) I held onto that hurt. Told myself I was past it, but I wasn't because the issue came up in different ways. He hit a nerve I had to and still have to work on it.

Anyway, use this as a reason to take you to the next level.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by DMV
i agree. he himself isnt the issue.

I just never dealt with what happened and now its been pushed to the forefront.

I could easily just sink myself back into my work, but that wont solve anything.

Now im just thinking about who i can really talk to. Im not one to put my shiit in the streets, but it would help to talk to someone to see how i can turn a negative into a positive.

Saturn in Sag begins when exactly?

Who says you have to talk to anyone? This is about whatever button he pushed way back then that you either sorted or need to still sort out because it's clearly popping up again. His friend request wouldn't have created such a reaction.

You could talk to someone, but I think you'll get more strength from sorting it out alone. At the very least, try to prevent yourself from looking for ways to shake the feeling off when you talk to someone. Avoiding brought you to this point. Find someone that will ask you the hard questions and do the soul searching on your own.

I was teased when I was younger, but I liked the teaser's friend. Jealousy on his part, who knows, but he was unnecessarily cruel. That sh*t hurt and when the teaser tried to ask me out years later (before FB, so he had to find the balls to face me and ask me in person) I held onto that hurt. Told myself I was past it, but I wasn't because the issue came up in different ways. He hit a nerve I had to and still have to work on it.

Anyway, use this as a reason to take you to the next level.

click to expand

no doubt. this train doesnt stop for anyone.

you won't be able to move on until you can pardon him. He'll still have some control over you because you want to get even instead of just growing up

Posted by hydorah
you won't be able to move on until you can pardon him. He'll still have some control over you because you want to get even instead of just growing up

Sorry to disappoint, I have no plans on getting even.

he shouldn't flatter himself that much.

Posted by Impulsv
People come into u lives at the right time to trigger things that need to be healed. U don't have to meet him or talk to him but truly it is good this happened to u can clean those Cobb webs from the hurts fear ect we carry.

This must be sag in Saturn

this shitt has been cray cray.

my kickass pisces boss just resigned today. She hit my midheaven exactly. She was a great mentor.