How can I stop being so shy?

I don't like being shy. I'm a virgo/ virgo moon with a scorpio ascendent. But I'm also born on the virgo/libra cusp and maybe that is why I don't like being shy. I always catch myself trying to make friends with more outgoing people. I just wanna know how can I loosen up. And can I overcome this with hard work? I already overcame a lot about myself like I used to not talk unless people talked to me but now I will go and talk to people and ask questions but I'm still trying to just loosen up and let things flow.

Posted by SapphireMaiden
Just. be. yourself.

Confidence comes from within. You can only really loosen up when you don't think too much of things and what people expect of you.

Live life to the fullest and enjoy every single moment of it without anxiety or regret only then you can fully embrace the experience and the warmth/confidence to shine from within out.

Yeah you're right. Cause my sign placements show that I am naturally shy but I have overcome it because at school I am more free and loud in class but at places like work I tend to have a hard time to loosen up and just let things flow because I'm always thinking about what's next that we have to do and not really enjoyin the moment. I have come a long way because I use to have social anxiety but I told myself to just do it afraid (courage) so now I'm just learning how to not be so serious and to be more free.

I was thinking about taking marijuana and thought maybe it will help a little to relax me. But I guess I just wanted someone to believe in me or tell me that I can do it. I guess partly the reason I don't like being shy is because I'm very hard on myself and I find that people wont find me interesting and think I'm boring and I'm a people pleaser I guess you can say. But maybe I will grow in confidence as I get older since i'm only 16. But thanks for the advice! I actually didn't plan on sharing this much but oh well. Lol

Posted by jparis
I don't like being shy. I'm a virgo/ virgo moon with a scorpio ascendent. But I'm also born on the virgo/libra cusp and maybe that is why I don't like being shy. I always catch myself trying to make friends with more outgoing people. I just wanna know how can I loosen up. And can I overcome this with hard work? I already overcame a lot about myself like I used to not talk unless people talked to me but now I will go and talk to people and ask questions but I'm still trying to just loosen up and let things flow.

You're on a good track. Letting go of the fear of rejection is a big step.

Just learn some good conversational skills or tactics so that you can get people to open up when talking to you. They say, people like the ones can open up and talk to more so than others. So, if you let people talk and are interested, they'll like you better. Learn how to ask questions that are sincere but open ended and can lead the other person to talk more. Such as instead of saying 'how are you today?' where all they say is 'fine, and you?', ask 'what's the most interesting thing that happened to you today' where they are free to go into detail about a story that happened to them.

Fake it til you make it!

Sounds like you need an Aries best friend.

Don't be yourself, be the best of yourself. Be a hardcore version of yourself.

But I had (still have actually) the exact same problem, you need to get out of your comfort zone by doing the things that come up in your head in a social situation. Like nike said, just do it. That's a real good phrase.

And, don't talk because you just feel like you need to talk; people will notice you're bullshitting.

I found out that when I just accept that I'm an introverted person that doesn't talk a lot, being social becomes easier. Thinking "Hmm, what is interesting to say now?" distracts and secludes you even more. And it drains your energy.

So try accepting yourself, be interestED, it's allright to be quiet in certain situations. I always thought quiet people are naturally the 'weak' ones in human nature but it's not the case. Take my advice, I've been there.

But one thing I do still cope with, is that I have trouble coming with ideas or initiating. I always have to rely on another.

Posted by Kjk62
Chiefin the reefa will only make you more shy.lol
You gotta just shadow somebody outgoing i guess. Pick up their subtleties and use their tendencies. Associating with strong socialites is probably your best bet. When you wanna be the best, learn from the best, right?

Maybe that's why I'm drawn to Sags. They are outgoing and have super conversational skills.

Do things you love and are passionate about. Join such societies and events. Then you necessarily have something in common with the other people there and you always have something to talk about, and you can chime in whenever, because you are interested in the conversation and have things to say. You are in your comfort zone.

It could be anything: horse back riding, sowing, bowling, some artform, Star Wars movies, rockclimbing...whatever works for you.

Really good training ground, imo.

Thanks you guys! I guess the problem I used to have is that where I lived I was bullied but once I moved I found people to be a lot more accepting. At first I wouldn't talk to anyone but now I am willing and people always say how much they like me and they invite me to go places with them but I am very hard on myself and sometimes I feel like maybe they are just telling me that cause I don't find myself interesting. But I must say I came a long way from where I used to be. I will definitely be taking everybodies advice!!!

(Oh and my ascendent is actually gemini not scorpio.)

Posted by Kjk62
Chiefin the reefa will only make you more shy.lol
You gotta just shadow somebody outgoing i guess. Pick up their subtleties and use their tendencies. Associating with strong socialites is probably your best bet. When you wanna be the best, learn from the best, right?

Does it? I always thought it relaxes you

Don't force talking.

Posted by Kjk62

Posted by jparis

Posted by Kjk62
Chiefin the reefa will only make you more shy.lol
You gotta just shadow somebody outgoing i guess. Pick up their subtleties and use their tendencies. Associating with strong socialites is probably your best bet. When you wanna be the best, learn from the best, right?

Does it? I always thought it relaxes you

Weed can calm but you can also get anxious depending on the potency and setting. Dont use it as a crutch for wanting to fit in or anything like that. Besides filling a void in your life by smoking yourself away, I would say its pretty harmless.
But lets be clear im only giving you a bit of perspective, in no way am i condoning drug use by a minor.
Btw
Ditto on the gem asc, great rising sign. Rock that gemini mask n "stunt on errybuddie" kid lmao

click to expand

Some people (especially Americans) are really tripping on that "weed is completely harmless" shit, almost promoting it. Probably it's different (milder?) over there.
It totally depends on the person, like it really destroyed my father back in the days and ruined his career, and the times I smoked it it freaked my out too.
If you need to force yourself to focus or be self conscious to be living normally constantly, weed isn't for you. If you're emotionally stable it's probably not a big deal.
I notice Sags and Gems barely get any effect when smoking weed 😄

I'm pretty sure you can make this work without the weed - more of an achievement too. And also, I think people will like you so much better if you don't smile weirdly at your fingers while talking to them. 😉