why do i still feel bad about thing that happened 2 years ago?

Hello,



Today I saw a Virgo guy has a new, older girlfriend. She is more mature than me. More serious but also parties with him. The way he parties is not appropriate to me. Its too hard and too much. Maybe for older women its okey.



2.5 years ago he was focused on me. I have always been nice to people and empathetic. Really .

It was not the way i was immature or naive. I am a workaholic, i do things. I am popular but i can laugh, i can be the centre of attention. i can make people happy , really. i have never wanted anything bad to people. i have never been acting with a revenge.



My female best friend ( now i know it) didnt let me have her Virgo friend. I didnt understand i didnt know why was she delaying the meetings or telling weird things about me. - that i was too immature to be with him, i was too delicate and sensitive for the way he was, that maybe he would hurt me. she wanted to 'protect' me in a way that she was blocking me , marking her territory and popularity around him.



After 2.5 years i know she was telling lies about me because she felt neglected and she felt threatened by my position in a group. Even though she didnt want to be with him she was messing around in the company. Now i know she was jealous i still do not know why.

He had other girlfriends, she knows it, she has boyfriend since 3 years... She still remains in contact with virgo, spying on fb and social media, liking his activity.

Now i know that she didnt 'let me' somehow be with him because she wanted to have him for her own. Now she is happy because he has a new lady for himself WHO is not me. In her opinion he can have anyone except me.

It is still in my mind after 2 years. i am the only one who remained single, i mean i had some affairs but with no long relationship since 2.5 years. They do have relationships. I am still blocked. Emotionally because i felt that now i can not trust anyone about my feeling and its very complicated for me to have a boyfriend.

I do not know how is that.

I felt like she was only the one who can have him from this company , because she was spending time with him as a friend. Now she is happy he has other woman , older serious girl.



I feel bad. i know i am aries i am strong but i feel bad still.

because someone messed with my emotions and with my trust. we have been together less than one month and later on she was sticking her nose in that relation and after a while she started telling lies about me ( it turned out some weeks ago 🙂 🙂 )

women are the worst becuase as we all know men grow up later and sometimes its ok if a man is immature. but she used that against me.

i still feel bad and like a victim. because they are in relationships, they make sex, they are happy. and i am still single.

because i analyse . because i remember.

one week ago virgo added me on social media that i deleted him from 1 year ago. i do not know why.

he is more sensitive that this female friend.

i do not know why she messes with people's emotions.

i know she did that in purpose.



maybe you can ask - why didnt you react before, are you stupid? fight for yourself and so one.

why didnt you fight for a boyfriend blabla.

because i have problems meeting people and at the beginning i am always shy and distanced. i have never had a group of people. i have always been invited somewhere.because i do not like big groups, companies. i like to do my own thing and share only with a few friends. not with the WHOLE.

but it has never been a problem to anyone. i also was invtiting people for bday parties and so one. it was never a problem...

since one time when i started hanging with this group of my female best friend...i stopped trusting people.

now new people tell me i remain distanced and focused on my work.

i started working with new people 2 months ago. they told me i am very distanced. and they do not know why i am like that. i have trust issues. i do not know WHAT and how much should i tell people. so i remain silent or just add a few things.

i cant tell people things because i think they want to use it against me.

i will never tell anyone who i like or who i am attracted to. never.

even to a best friend. because people tell lies and gossip things about you.





@aquarius_man

You sound like a more neurotic and exhibitionist version of myself. I think you do that because is how you are, you can't just let go things that aren't your fault but affected you, and partly because is more comfortable to hang on past hurts than actually fixing the problem.

People do things for thousands of reasons so you'll never know certainly, maybe she felt insecure. Her fault. You could have acted on it but you didn't. Your loss. And life goes on. When you cut those people you are free from their shit. Life is just a succession of events with no more importance and meaning than what you give them.

I feel the same way, people can't be trusted, but I do some times, is easier for me and I don't want people to condition my way of behaving that much. I'm just learning to not give a fuck about what they do with my trust. Not my problem. But that's just my solution, I guess you'll find your way to be more at peace.

My friends ain't my friends no more they just pretending.

I pretend that they all passed on and live off the memory before they were gone.

Posted by aquarius_man

Posted by joanne_p
Hello,



Today I saw a Virgo guy has a new, older girlfriend. She is more mature than me. More serious but also parties with him. The way he parties is not appropriate to me. Its too hard and too much. Maybe for older women its okey.



2.5 years ago he was focused on me. I have always been nice to people and empathetic. Really .

It was not the way i was immature or naive. I am a workaholic, i do things. I am popular but i can laugh, i can be the centre of attention. i can make people happy , really. i have never wanted anything bad to people. i have never been acting with a revenge.



My female best friend ( now i know it) didnt let me have her Virgo friend. I didnt understand i didnt know why was she delaying the meetings or telling weird things about me. - that i was too immature to be with him, i was too delicate and sensitive for the way he was, that maybe he would hurt me. she wanted to 'protect' me in a way that she was blocking me , marking her territory and popularity around him.



After 2.5 years i know she was telling lies about me because she felt neglected and she felt threatened by my position in a group. Even though she didnt want to be with him she was messing around in the company. Now i know she was jealous i still do not know why.

He had other girlfriends, she knows it, she has boyfriend since 3 years... She still remains in contact with virgo, spying on fb and social media, liking his activity.

Now i know that she didnt 'let me' somehow be with him because she wanted to have him for her own. Now she is happy because he has a new lady for himself WHO is not me. In her opinion he can have anyone except me.

It is still in my mind after 2 years. i am the only one who remained single, i mean i had some affairs but with no long relationship since 2.5 years. They do have relationships. I am still blocked. Emotionally because i felt that now i can not trust anyone about my feeling and its very complicated for me to have a boyfriend.

I do not know how is that.

I felt like she was only the one who can have him from this company , because she was spending time with him as a friend. Now she is happy he has other woman , older serious girl.



I feel bad. i know i am aries i am strong but i feel bad still.

because someone messed with my emotions and with my trust. we have been together less than one month and later on she was sticking her nose in that relation and after a while she started telling lies about me ( it turned out some weeks ago 🙂 🙂 )

women are the worst becuase as we all know men grow up later and sometimes its ok if a man is immature. but she used that against me.

i still feel bad and like a victim. because they are in relationships, they make sex, they are happy. and i am still single.

because i analyse . because i remember.

one week ago virgo added me on social media that i deleted him from 1 year ago. i do not know why.

he is more sensitive that this female friend.

i do not know why she messes with people's emotions.

i know she did that in purpose.



maybe you can ask - why didnt you react before, are you stupid? fight for yourself and so one.

why didnt you fight for a boyfriend blabla.

because i have problems meeting people and at the beginning i am always shy and distanced. i have never had a group of people. i have always been invited somewhere.because i do not like big groups, companies. i like to do my own thing and share only with a few friends. not with the WHOLE.

but it has never been a problem to anyone. i also was invtiting people for bday parties and so one. it was never a problem...

since one time when i started hanging with this group of my female best friend...i stopped trusting people.

now new people tell me i remain distanced and focused on my work.

i started working with new people 2 months ago. they told me i am very distanced. and they do not know why i am like that. i have trust issues. i do not know WHAT and how much should i tell people. so i remain silent or just add a few things.

i cant tell people things because i think they want to use it against me.

i will never tell anyone who i like or who i am attracted to. never.

even to a best friend. because people tell lies and gossip things about you.





@aquarius_man

well, in all honesty, have you ever considered seeing a therapist? not saying there s anything wrong with you, but if you see one, you can tell him about all these things and he won t judge you, but help you make more sense. you ll be happier. i was reluctant about seeing a therapist, too, but it helps you clarify your thoughts and 'heal' your wounds. you need to move on from that virgo who is toxic. also forget about leo, you gave him so many chances, if he wants you, he will chase you.

but i really think you need to speak with someone - a professional- that could listen to you and provide advice.

you come off as someone who s highly intelligent and educated and it s a shame to see you stuck in past over these guys. you are special and you deserve better. you could be an introvert for all i know but a professional could help you.

also, its a good thing you changed your workplace. the new workplace will appreciate you more and you ll get rid of the toxic people around you.

you dserve to be happy and safe from bad ppl

do you still love the virgo guy? why? is he strong enough for an aries woman? i would say - forget about him, he s not good enough for you. focus on the new things ahead, forget about the past

click to expand

yes ive been to terapist twice.

she told me i need to move on.

its ok. i know.

last time i was there was 1 year ago. i told her the same....

its a shame that after my foreign country experience and everything i still think.

i know people are bad. i just do not know why i remain single for so long.

my mum told me people are afraid of me because i can be intimidating.

but it is my protection from the bad people.

i just cant do everything like others. i do what i want. of ocurse respecting people. i think that this female friend couldnt understand it.

i can make a voodoo doll of her. really. she is happy she has a bf, the way she acts is very bad. i wonder if she will ever be normal.

i know i cant dwell on the past, its scary and i dont know its a bit of crazy like id be sick or mentally ill.

but there are times as today that i see for example her or virgo man on facebook pictures and everything goes back. everything as if it was last week. i will never trust people anymore.

the problem is that my city is the 3rd city when it comes to the size and amout of people.

its so weird but usually in cities like that people do not know each other.

in my city there is a very traditional and famous film school and fine arts school where all of the people from europe want to study.

so people from those two institutions usually make exhibitions, are popular and so one.

these are schools that polanski or kieslowski were students... a lot of oscar winners studies there.

so its prestigous.

people attending this school do not have to worry about the future.

because of that people not associated with culture and film industry usually are not popular.

but some of them crave popularity.

leo studies at this film school,

i do not study there but my parents are artists so when i was younger they used to invite me everywhere and we knew a lot of artists.

virgo associate himself as an artists because he coworks with this film school.

his parents are notable people from city council.

i have never craved for being popular. but some years ago parents opened some doors for me telling me its better to do this not that, telling me who is worth trusting in the city and so one.

but they have never been popular.

and when i started collaborating with film school on some projects some people heard about me.

for example virgo . but because i was not popular he was hesitating to be with me ( after talks with taurus woman ) because i wad not in the environment.

i was struggling 1.5 years to be the best worker at this school. it gave me so much confidence but actually gave away possibility to talk to virgo.

the only one who gave me a helping hand was leo. thats why i sticked to him as a friend.

but when virgo realised that he became jealous ( as taurus girl before).

and i got rejected from a company.

i only remain in contact with one directing student gir who is my friend.

she is an outsider she doesnt trust anyone. she is 32 years old. and she knows the world.

so the problem with me is that i have never thought that i must have proven my popularity and social level to anyone because i come from this city for 6 generations having parents and grandparents all graduated from universities - medicine, art and so one. but we have never been popular and we have never craved for the attention from anyone. because we thought its normal. and we treated everyone normally, and everyone treated us normally.

but when i decided to change my life and do sth more than studies and work and decided to get into artistic industry - peple were testing me, people did the test and i felt so bad test of popularity, test of work of parents and test of ancestry.

like i would be not the same level as them...

yea i put them on some blocked list. i deleted this woman from all social media and etc.