Cancer male doesn't want a relationship after 2 years of casual sex with just me—

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

Posted by ariesfool
Although I normally don't do flingy kinds of things, there was something about him that made me agree to his terms of not looking for a relationship, and we started to make-out.

You set the parameters of the relationship right there.

Posted by ariesfool
(continued from first message)

I mentioned a relationship to him and whether or not he wanted this to go any further than what it was and at first he backed off until I asked him again via text to which he replied with a long paragraph stating that he thought we shouldn't text anymore because I obviously wanted something more and he didn't feel that way about me..

He gave you an answer, perhaps not the one you were looking for.
Hate to say it, but you should really consider moving on.

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Posted by Iamawinelover

Posted by ariesfool
Thank you for the responses!! It means a lot to me hearing this, because it has just been so confusing. I really thought that eventually he would change his mind, but it obviously seems like he won't after all.

Thank you 😢

)You can't change a man. If you accepted things on his terms, he was getting what he wanted with no obligation or attachment. You agreed to it all of this time, correct?

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Posted by ariesfool

Posted by starwars
Girl, i feel you. i know its hard for you but you really need to move on before things get worse... if you keep sleeping with him you'd get more attached than you are now.
stop trying to hold into his empty words, he didn't state thats its only fwb but he didn't state that its serious either. you're trying to convince yourself that he feels the same, whe hes not. even if you're not 100% sure that he doesn't feel the same , move on and see if he will follow. stop focusing on the maybe and see what hes trying to tell you. I know its hard but its the best for you. run before you devastate yourself.

and no crabs aren't afraid of commitment, if they love you then they commit. no matter what issues he have, you don't need to see why he feel that way and make excuses for him as "hes afraid" "he had bad relationship experience in the past' he clearly told you that hes not looking for a relationship so just have common sense quit girl. for your own good!

😭 Thanks, starwars... I'm trying. Just all messed up in the head I guess.

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Posted by capricornmoon
Yea I agree., sleep with his best friend. You'll feel better. Only thing sweater than revenge is his wing man's D.

Posted by Moonbutter
Well ariesfool...there is hope yet, .The first thing you can do is stop any sexual activity with him and if he still wants to see you then you know it's more then just sex. You will have to be strong though and curb any "bad behavior" from the Cancer guy that goes outside any boundries you have set up for what you are looking for. This means he will need to properly court you...take you on dates, kisses, hugs that's it. All and any sexual activity will just go against what you are trying to establish. Well that's all the advice I have now you can take it or leave it. At the end of the day talk is cheap, and actions will show the truth.

Posted by ariesfool

Posted by Moonbutter
Well ariesfool...there is hope yet, .The first thing you can do is stop any sexual activity with him and if he still wants to see you then you know it's more then just sex. You will have to be strong though and curb any "bad behavior" from the Cancer guy that goes outside any boundries you have set up for what you are looking for. This means he will need to properly court you...take you on dates, kisses, hugs that's it. All and any sexual activity will just go against what you are trying to establish. Well that's all the advice I have now you can take it or leave it. At the end of the day talk is cheap, and actions will show the truth.

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This is amazing!! Thank you

You are very welcome, and I am happy to help anytime 🙂 You can always PM me as well.

Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by ariesfool

Posted by Moonbutter
Well ariesfool...there is hope yet, .The first thing you can do is stop any sexual activity with him and if he still wants to see you then you know it's more then just sex. You will have to be strong though and curb any "bad behavior" from the Cancer guy that goes outside any boundries you have set up for what you are looking for. This means he will need to properly court you...take you on dates, kisses, hugs that's it. All and any sexual activity will just go against what you are trying to establish. Well that's all the advice I have now you can take it or leave it. At the end of the day talk is cheap, and actions will show the truth.

This is amazing!! Thank you

You are very welcome, and I am happy to help anytime 🙂 You can always PM me as well.

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Awesome!

Posted by Kodak375

Posted by Moonbutter
Well ariesfool...there is hope yet, .The first thing you can do is stop any sexual activity with him and if he still wants to see you then you know it's more then just sex. You will have to be strong though and curb any "bad behavior" from the Cancer guy that goes outside any boundries you have set up for what you are looking for. This means he will need to properly court you...take you on dates, kisses, hugs that's it. All and any sexual activity will just go against what you are trying to establish. Well that's all the advice I have now you can take it or leave it. At the end of the day talk is cheap, and actions will show the truth.

He's not going to court someone he sleeps with on the random for 2 years moon.... she will break before he does.

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Posted by Kodak375

Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by Kodak375

Posted by Moonbutter
Well ariesfool...there is hope yet, .The first thing you can do is stop any sexual activity with him and if he still wants to see you then you know it's more then just sex. You will have to be strong though and curb any "bad behavior" from the Cancer guy that goes outside any boundries you have set up for what you are looking for. This means he will need to properly court you...take you on dates, kisses, hugs that's it. All and any sexual activity will just go against what you are trying to establish. Well that's all the advice I have now you can take it or leave it. At the end of the day talk is cheap, and actions will show the truth.

He's not going to court someone he sleeps with on the random for 2 years moon.... she will break before he does.

Right, well either way she will have her answer and be able to decide her next steps.

She has her answer. Either keep settling for less and hope or be proactive and start anew. Cancer men are not jigsaw puzzles, I swear

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Posted by cancerleolibra

Posted by starwars

Posted by cancerleolibra
ugh im so sorry this happened to you.. he totally is a jerk who was just using you for sex.. cancer guys are weird, they tend to be players, using their soft sensitive side to their advantage to be the "nice guy"

i don't think hes considered a player, he made a deal and she accept it. no matter how people try to sugarcoat the term 'friends with benefits' its all about using each other for sex, without conflicts or connection. she knew that, its not his problem that she caught feelings. he distances himself when she did, but then she reached out to him.

I'm not in anyone's side, im just stating what she has said earlier.

yea but he also knew how she felt and then slept with her again.. as someone whose had that happen to them before it just fucks with your head and thats the exact reason she's having this problem

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Posted by cancerleolibra

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by cancerleolibra

Posted by starwars

Posted by cancerleolibra
ugh im so sorry this happened to you.. he totally is a jerk who was just using you for sex.. cancer guys are weird, they tend to be players, using their soft sensitive side to their advantage to be the "nice guy"

i don't think hes considered a player, he made a deal and she accept it. no matter how people try to sugarcoat the term 'friends with benefits' its all about using each other for sex, without conflicts or connection. she knew that, its not his problem that she caught feelings. he distances himself when she did, but then she reached out to him.

I'm not in anyone's side, im just stating what she has said earlier.

yea but he also knew how she felt and then slept with her again.. as someone whose had that happen to them before it just fucks with your head and thats the exact reason she's having this problem

Don't be so dense. Be true to yourself and the arrangement you put yourself in. Delusional expectiatons isn't going to get you anywhere!! I agree with starwars. He clarified his stance and she agreed to it. She agreed to have sex only relationship with him (call it whatever: FWB). He told her he isn't looking for a relationship. You get what you signed for, and to expect more now is on her. Nothing wrong with stating to him that she wants more because you gotta ask for what you want. People aren't mind readers. He gave the OP her answer and she needs to be on her merry way. Calling him an asshole is unwarranted. He's not an asshole and in fact I think he's a pretty stand up guy for being honest with the OP from the get-go.

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If you know you are someone who would get attached via sex (which is a lottttttt of women), stay in your pants. There is something called abstinence until you get what you want, which would be exclusivity/commitment. A lot of women get in the moment and sleep with the guy or they assume that they will get the guy by sleeping with them, but sadly, that's not the case. Next time just stay in your pants until you get what you want. If it's sex you want, then by all means but don't delude yourself into thinking that anything more is up for grabs.

Posted by busyeyes88
As a woman, you need to know what you can cope with as a person ie if you can cope with an fwb without getting attached then do it. But if you that you are a woman who will get attached then avoid one as once the "arrangement " has been made, IT WILL NOT CHANGE '! Because from a man's perspective, why buy the cow when you are already milking it?!!! I suggest you move on if a relationship is what you are after!!!

Posted by Pisces15

Posted by ariesfool
I really love your responses, Cancerleolibra. You're right, it's not his fault, and I don't blame him. He always stated what he wanted... but like you, I too was/am wearing rose-colored glasses and it just sucks all together. After reading all of everyone's posts I've come to the decision to stop contacting him or allowing him to contact me just for sex, regardless of what I agreed to. I found out the hard way that I'm not really into the whole FWB thing or no strings attached.


Thank you everyone

I've had FwB situation . .thinking I was tough as old boots, I could cope with the emotional side of things. In the end I HAD to finish it as it was eating away at me! I literally told him how I felt and ran away from it all. As much as I liked the guy I know in the end it was for my own good. Now I will only get involved with someone who is willing to commit properly, which is proving to be hard work! But will keep going until my wishes are respected.

Sorry you've endured such a rubbish experience, but chalk this up to experience and a lesson learnt. Plenty more fish in the sea (so people keep telling me) . . .🙂

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That's admirable that you were able to leave the situation knowing it was bringing you down. It's very hard to do especially when you really like that person and especially if you're like me and tend to pick out the best traits in people and cling to that. Stay strong and thank you for your reply! Lesson learned for sure.

Posted by BlackMamba

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by Pisces15

Posted by busyeyes88
This is not just the pisces, Cancer, taurus whatever.... If a man can sex you without commitment then that is exactly what he will do!! It's for the woman to hold out for what she wants and if the guy can't give her what she wants etc WALK AWAY!!! It's the responsibility of BOTH parties!!! The men are just doing what men do!!! It's the woman who has to be stronger and smarter and hold out for what she wants!!!! Do not keep Blaming the men.... If your legs are shut He can't gain entrance can he?!! Smh!

You hid your quote but I assume this was aimed at me!

Yes, so any man can sex you if you allow him & don't hold out for what you want. It's just a coincidence that the Cancer guy I was linking, came crawling I think with similar intentions. Because I nipped that in the bud before it got too far he's crawled back into his shell! He knows what I want & I wasn't afraid to tell him that! Old enough not to play games so was blunt! He moaned what I said was very serious, nah, just setting things before they get out of hand & we both misunderstand what each other wanted. His silence is now an indication of what he was REALLY wanting from me!

I am a taurus and my set out my "terms and conditions " from day ONE. If the guy does not like it... It's ok! We all have choices and the world is small and the oceans are huge!!!

ya before you get into too deep....but Virgos work differently...they fuk ya...for months..then be like my girlfriend keeps mistreating me and you're like who is your GF, you silly.

shrugs, weird guys

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Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by Hemispheres
Your user name is fitting.

Lololololololololololololo lololololololololololololo Don't be mean, but I hv to confess I thought it but did not say it!! Sorry OP. If it makes you feel better OP, people started calling me "busycow" because I am a taurus!!

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Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by Happygolucky

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by Hemispheres
Your user name is fitting.

Lololololololololololololo lololololololololololololo Don't be mean, but I hv to confess I thought it but did not say it!! Sorry OP. If it makes you feel better OP, people started calling me "busycow" because I am a taurus!!

That's not why we call you a cow

Whatever...

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Posted by BlackMamba

Posted by ariesfool

Posted by BlackMamba

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by Pisces15

Posted by busyeyes88
This is not just the pisces, Cancer, taurus whatever.... If a man can sex you without commitment then that is exactly what he will do!! It's for the woman to hold out for what she wants and if the guy can't give her what she wants etc WALK AWAY!!! It's the responsibility of BOTH parties!!! The men are just doing what men do!!! It's the woman who has to be stronger and smarter and hold out for what she wants!!!! Do not keep Blaming the men.... If your legs are shut He can't gain entrance can he?!! Smh!

You hid your quote but I assume this was aimed at me!

Yes, so any man can sex you if you allow him & don't hold out for what you want. It's just a coincidence that the Cancer guy I was linking, came crawling I think with similar intentions. Because I nipped that in the bud before it got too far he's crawled back into his shell! He knows what I want & I wasn't afraid to tell him that! Old enough not to play games so was blunt! He moaned what I said was very serious, nah, just setting things before they get out of hand & we both misunderstand what each other wanted. His silence is now an indication of what he was REALLY wanting from me!

I am a taurus and my set out my "terms and conditions " from day ONE. If the guy does not like it... It's ok! We all have choices and the world is small and the oceans are huge!!!

ya before you get into too deep....but Virgos work differently...they fuk ya...for months..then be like my girlfriend keeps mistreating me and you're like who is your GF, you silly.

shrugs, weird guys

If you don't mind me asking, 'cause now I'm curious, what irritates you about Aries? I'm curious to see how we're perceived on the other side 😛

Your selfishness and youth. Crabs like serious people. Unless they got weird placements.

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Posted by BlackMamba

Posted by ariesfool

Posted by BlackMamba

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by Pisces15

Posted by busyeyes88
This is not just the pisces, Cancer, taurus whatever.... If a man can sex you without commitment then that is exactly what he will do!! It's for the woman to hold out for what she wants and if the guy can't give her what she wants etc WALK AWAY!!! It's the responsibility of BOTH parties!!! The men are just doing what men do!!! It's the woman who has to be stronger and smarter and hold out for what she wants!!!! Do not keep Blaming the men.... If your legs are shut He can't gain entrance can he?!! Smh!

You hid your quote but I assume this was aimed at me!

Yes, so any man can sex you if you allow him & don't hold out for what you want. It's just a coincidence that the Cancer guy I was linking, came crawling I think with similar intentions. Because I nipped that in the bud before it got too far he's crawled back into his shell! He knows what I want & I wasn't afraid to tell him that! Old enough not to play games so was blunt! He moaned what I said was very serious, nah, just setting things before they get out of hand & we both misunderstand what each other wanted. His silence is now an indication of what he was REALLY wanting from me!

I am a taurus and my set out my "terms and conditions " from day ONE. If the guy does not like it... It's ok! We all have choices and the world is small and the oceans are huge!!!

ya before you get into too deep....but Virgos work differently...they fuk ya...for months..then be like my girlfriend keeps mistreating me and you're like who is your GF, you silly.

shrugs, weird guys

If you don't mind me asking, 'cause now I'm curious, what irritates you about Aries? I'm curious to see how we're perceived on the other side 😛

Your selfishness and youth. Crabs like serious people. Unless they got weird placements.

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Posted by capricornmoon
Tell him you and your ex are back together., that lie works wonders

Posted by CapricornLaurie
Unfortunately you set the bar low...FWB only benefit men for the most part. Eventually if you desire more the guy won't want to change the situation because he was already getting what he wanted. FWB eventually end for that reason.

Cancer men you have to correct for every little thing they try to push boundaries on. They are unassuming in that they are emotional and can connect with women easily on that level. But give an inch and they will take a mile.

Posted by Pisces15

Posted by CapricornLaurie
Unfortunately you set the bar low...FWB only benefit men for the most part. Eventually if you desire more the guy won't want to change the situation because he was already getting what he wanted. FWB eventually end for that reason.

Cancer men you have to correct for every little thing they try to push boundaries on. They are unassuming in that they are emotional and can connect with women easily on that level. But give an inch and they will take a mile.

Agree to the latter - Cancerian guy I was seeing / dating, we did a little intimate thing (unexpected, it just happened). Before I knew it, he was asking if I wanted to go the whole hog to which I said no! When boundaries are not set, I'm not going there! If the Mr wants sex, I want boundaries - simple as that! Sounds hypocritical, I know, but too many errors / mistakes made in the past by giving it up too soon!

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