Cancer Man hurt me so bad I'm Aqurian

Im now mentally & physically unstable silently screaming in pain. I just really wanted to be focus myself I was totally wrecked I know what to act and how to start but I'm totall weak everything to me is affected. I'm very indefendent , full of self confident . I had a very strong will and I know to protect myself. I always wanted peace and harmony but I truly wanted to be always respected and to be told what I only wanted to my Cancer Man. I wasn't treated like the way I wanted to be and since I met him I found out that he lied to me and had a long distance relationship. I believe so much to this guy and I can easily give up myself and I never once doing this to anyone. I must say that I can easily attract my opposite. It's be so many years but up to now he call me it's just sex and nothing much. It's killing me I was called like fwb and I get thruly mad at him. I get mix signal to this guy I fell totally embarrassed to myself I felt so disgusting and I was ignore and felt unwanted to his life. I always wanted him to be happy and I know I can do that sometimes. I totally not really comfortable on my situation and I always pray that I hope he will get change and will tell me that he cares about me and wanted to have relationship that we can call lovers. He always lied to me and it's killing me cos it's always happening same situation his not contented still fishing on a big blue sea. I said to him to let me pls let me know a billion times so I will not spend time and be away on my own simple thing that instead of he must understand it will backfire to me thought he had no right and I know I had no right but he know who I am to him. I put my all to him I never ask anything from him cos he said to me he got nothing and he knows that I do not anything in him bit to love me like what I do to him. My emotion was totally uncontrolable and I had too much and it's quite heavy to carry on. I always wanted to hear from him but he never allow he always stopping me though I know the truth I just want to know on his mouth cos I always had an agony I was disrespected and unhappy to him and he said to me that I'm crazy or insane and he can keep up to me. So he always wantedy to leave him alone. Since last months I want to let him go but I tried my best to be away from him. And again we keep arguing for he never give me a time I always do the work always one way. I know I sounds stupid here but I hope to be free from him and will never see myself miserable