Curious

I've read some of the posts in here, where Scorpios are trying to understand their Cancer men and I wanted to give my opinion by sharing my story. First, we met in high school, he was two grades below me so of course I was just like unh-uh (back then it wasn't cool), but we did become instant friends. I could tell he was catching feelings after a few months, because my friends would tell about how he'd ask about me and everywhere we went somehow he'd end up there...and being young and immature I was a little annoyed ...yes, I thought he was a bit clingy!!!! The next year, he had matured a little and he wasn't around as much but we did kick it from time to time and when i was dealing with my break up from another guy he was there to wipe the tears so to speak. A few months, after that I was in homeroom, staring out the window & he came behind me, covering my eyes, and whispered "I love you." I was still hung up on that age thing, and I was checking someone else...(we all know how fickle high school romances are) so basically I broke his heart...I felt so bad but I couldn't help where my heart was. Needlesstosay, that we didn't hang out that much after that...we spoke when passing and he started dating someone else...but at the end of the year when yearbooks were distributed he signed it..."To a girl I have loved the whole year... Love Always, ...." I felt like a heel.

Well, he was still with girl and we kinda "mended" our friendship, and he was there to dry my tears when the new guy sent me on constant emotional rollercoaster rides...he even ran interference for me ...I can only imagine how he must've felt for me asking him to do that. Well, one night, while we were attending a basketball game, this old drunk dude came in harrassing all the young girls and chances were he was about to come at me, he was sitting beside me (and had just broken up with his girl) so I asked if he would pretend to be my man. Of course, he obliged, saying that he could get use to it. We kissed for the first time that night...Yeah, I skipped some b/c of space...and I had never felt what I felt the moment I kissed him but my heart was with someone else...even though he would eventually charm me into temporarily forgetting the other guy...truth was he wasn't completely over his ex, either. 6 mos after that night we went back to our exs.

4yrs later...I had just returned home from being away at school, he saw me at the gas station on my way to work... to be continue

So he came up and spoke, asked me had I moved back home and told me he'd be by to see me. A few days later he was over my house, at first things were a little weird cause we hadn't seen each other in like 4 years and I had just come out of a bad relationship that left me pretty bitter, but eventually it went back to being like old times. But this time I was like I wasn't going to put my feelings into it, because he would come and go sometimes and I wouldn't see him for days and then he'd be around for months and months and then he'd go away for days...and being that I need stability, if I had tried to make more out this than us just being friends with benefits I would've lost my mind. So, I never questioned where he was when he left for those days and he never questioned me. I really believe until ya'll agree to be in a monogamous relationship, that's the sane way to be with a Cancer man.
Well, a few months of him being over my place everyday and sometimes spending the night, I mean sometimes we would have sex sometimes we just stayed up and talked. And he was always fixing things around my house that was broken or my car. He told me one night, that he loved me and I was like we're having sex you don't have to say that, and he was like it's not about that, I've always loved you and I always will no matter what happens. I still do not understand that. Well, he asked me (cause I was working two jobs at the time) to let him move in and help me with the mortgage so I wouldn't have to work so much, you don't know how bad i wanted to accept it but 1) the house was still in my dad's name he was "renting" my childhood home to me...that's another post., 2) I was afraid of getting hurt by him...I even mentioned that to him, that I couldn't have different girls coming in and out of my house while i was at work and his response was that he would never do that to me if he moved in it would be just me and him...you don't know how much i wanted to believe that because after all the years I had really started to love him...but I was guarded. He said, when i brought up the last time we tried to be a couple, that maybe this time it'll be diffrent. He didn't move in, in fact, I moved out and my dad moved back. I think I left him a note at his parent's telling him i had moved...but my dad said that he came by one night...I can only imagine what my dad said cause he can be an a $ $ sometimes... we saw each other a couple of times after that but he had started

dating a girl that eventually became his wife. My best friend saw him at a party, a yr and a half ago and she said he stopped her and asked about me, told her to tell me that he's thinking of me...and about 8 mos ago, a group of mutual friends was throwing her a party and they called him, he asked who was in the background and when they told him that my friend was there he told them to tell her to me hi. I moved to S.C. about 4 years ago and am in a relationship....

I miss him terribly and I know at times, i should'nt have let my pride or my fear get in the way...I also wish I knew more about Cancer men and then I would've been able to understand him more...So for those that are wondering should they say how they feel...I say YES!! I only regret things I didn't say not the things I said... He was my match in more ways than one... Cancer men get a bad rap sometimes, but it's only those that don't take the time to really get to know them...to me they are the very definition of Love!

Would love to hear what some Cancers have to say—

Merc, the ending has been posted...LOL

Merc....you and me both...LOL kel, I know...we can't help it...sometimes i wish I didn't have to be so guarded, but it seems the moment i let it down that's when my heart gets shattered...I got to protect the heart...if that gets damaged...I'm just cold and bitter...and who wants to be that—?

scrp1106,

It's horrible to live a life of... what if. It'll eat you up.

It's unhealthy to think one-dimensionally that if you had let your guard down, you'd be happy with the guy. Truth is, you might have let your guard down, and it might not have worked out or even worked out horribly. Gotta think multi-dimensionally.

You should just realize that you were way too guarded, and maybe you can display more confidence moving forward. You gotta let go and move on.

Scrprising, I have let go...i shared me story for the couple of Scrps posts that i read where they were debating about letting their feelings known...he'll always be a good friend of mine...so i really didn't lose out...what ifs are going to come if you don't seize every opportunity afforded you...cause you'll never know the outcome...hence the what if— That's what i was tryin to put out there so someone else won't make the same mistake...

cancers are such romantics and once you have their heart, they're yours forever. great story, but a sad ending. i think you would have been very happy with your crabby man...they really will make you very happy.

ellidyr, i really was...I dated another crab and he wasn't quite the same...so there are diffrent types...

"cancers are such romantics and once you have their heart, they're yours forever" I've read that alot on here...I guess that's what he meant by I'll always love you no matter what happens. LOL

My bro is a Cancer and is at the end of a bad marriage, I think...I know that he still love her but he can't put up with her ways any longer...he's been feeling neglected for at least a year now...if she came back...would he take her back— It would be the worst mistake if he did, but I learned from the first time I tried to warn him, that it's better that I don't say anything...any help—

scrp1106: Cancers are really guided by their emotions. A healthy Cancer is one who is in control of his/her emotions, but a Cancer that's controlled by their emotions will do the most illogical and stupid things -- such as getting back together with an ex.

It's sad but when a Cancer falls in love, they really immerse themselves with the other person and breaking up is like breaking them in half. If the other half wants to get back together, it's almost natural for a Cancer to take them back...even if it's an ex that treated them very badly.

Emotions are a very powerful thing and to a Cancer, we're almost helpless when we're put in emotionally stressful situations. Sometimes, we'll make the WRONG decision just to end the pain and suffering of having to deal with emotional stress. For a Cancer, Logic and reason goes RIGHT OUT OF THE DOOR once strong emotions are involved...

On the bright side, if you keep a Cancer emotionally stable and happy, he can be the most amazing mate. He'll cheer you up, care for you, listen to you, go above-and-beyond for you, and charm you till you're helpless in love with him. We can be the deepest, kindest and most understanding of all signs if we are properly nurtured by our significant other...

Thanks, elllidyr. I hope that he doesn't really cause she is like a disease that I just had to stand by and watch tear my brother down...he deserves so much better, you know.

It's so true what you said about a happy Cancer...gosh you're making me really miss my ex. LOL

No problem scrp1106. Cancers really can go one way or the other and it really depends on who they're with. More so than any other sign, the Cancer's mate has such a huge impact on them. The cancer mate can either bring out the BEST in him or the absolute WORST. It's very extreme...

But if you can help guide your Cancer man to focus on the positives and actually get him to listen to reason and logic, he will be the perfect husband/wife. Honestly, we Cancers absorb so much of our surroundings but yet, we don't like people telling us what to do. I know it can be frustrating to watch but we Cancers do need to learn things for ourselves rather than have people tell us what to do.

The best advice I can give you about your brother is to let him figure it out on his own. Tell him in a very indirect way, maybe using situations or examples from your past or stories about your friends' relationships, to help him see the most logical way to resolve his relationship problems. But don't ever try to tell him what to do -- let him figure it out for himself. Remember to hint, hint, hint...but don't ever tell him directly. That's the best way to approach a Cancer...

"charm you till you're helpless in love with him"

*sigh* yes.......

Ellidyr, that's exactly what i've been doing...so I guess I'll just keep hinting, praying and hoping for the best...I'll keep ya'll updated

Keep doing that scrp1106! After a while, they'll fall in love with you without them even knowing it...

But keep one thing in mind...once they're yours...make sure you still want them. A cancer in love is very different than a cancer you've just met...

Oh wait, you've misunderstood, my Cancer ex is married now...that ship has sailed...I was asking about my brother he's a Cancer and I was worried that once he gets back on his feet after his divorce would he let his (ex) wife back in...

However, you are right...he did (my ex) fall in love with me without my knowing...maybe I wouldn't have been so scared to let down my wall if I had...