Guess it's time to walk away..

Some of ya'll have read my post on Confused. Well I have been playing it cool...just texting him every few days. He has texted me in between them days. Last night he texted me good night and we started talking. He asked me to help him get a job where I work. I was like ok and told him about the job fair they're having today and told him about the pay and everything. I woke up this morning to a text saying that maybe he could find a girlfriend there too. Ok we may be just friends (friends with benefits), but this man knows how I feel about him. That was a total disregard for my feelings. Yes I texted the first thought that came to my mind..fuck you. I took a few minutes to calm down and told him that hurt my feelings and to let me know if he was going to get a job where I work so I could look for another job. I am not going to sit back and watch him look for a girlfriend where I work at. He was like well you told me fuck you. So I asked him what was I suppose to say...I have feelings. I also told him I guess I was only good enough for him to have sex with and nothing else. I ended with a thank you and told him to have a good day. He's not replied back yet...don't even know if he will. Why would he even say something like that knowing how I feel?? To me that was his way of letting me know he has no intention of taking our relationship furthur. I think it's time to give up and just walk away from him.

That doesn't make any sense. Are you sure he knows how you feel? Are you sure he wasn't trying to get you to say that he will find a girlfriend there.....you? It would be very strange for a man to ask you for help getting a job there and try to hurt your feelings like that before he even shows up for the job fair. Something isn't right.

seems to me like he was joking

but you took it badly

Posted by Arielle83
I think he was being cheeky like you were to him about your date.

He's gauging your reaction.

I thought about that and unfortunately I spoke without thinking and told him the exact same thing he told me when I played my joke on him. But damn that hurt and it cut straight through my heart like a knife.
This after I vowed not to get emotional any more. But I have a tendency to slash out at someone when they hurt me. But I did calm myself down before saying anything else.
I let him know it hurt me. He's read my message I know cuz I get a notification. I am just going to leave tha ball in his court now and not text him. He's at work now so I don't really expect a reply until at least tonight if even that soon.

Posted by LostBull
That doesn't make any sense. Are you sure he knows how you feel? Are you sure he wasn't trying to get you to say that he will find a girlfriend there.....you? It would be very strange for a man to ask you for help getting a job there and try to hurt your feelings like that before he even shows up for the job fair. Something isn't right.

Yes he knows how I feel...I blurted it out once when I was mad.

You should have told him.. Yea isn't that wonderful? Totally love to see that.
Throw him off his game.
Don't give him the satisfaction he has you as his backburner

Posted by Snowprincess

Posted by Arielle83
I think he was being cheeky like you were to him about your date.

He's gauging your reaction.

I thought about that and unfortunately I spoke without thinking and told him the exact same thing he told me when I played my joke on him. But damn that hurt and it cut straight through my heart like a knife.
This after I vowed not to get emotional any more. But I have a tendency to slash out at someone when they hurt me. But I did calm myself down before saying anything else.
I let him know it hurt me. He's read my message I know cuz I get a notification. I am just going to leave tha ball in his court now and not text him. He's at work now so I don't really expect a reply until at least tonight if even that soon.

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I know him well enough to know he will not apologize neither will he admit to joking. He will text in a couple of days and act like it never happened.

Posted by maomao
You should have told him.. Yea isn't that wonderful? Totally love to see that.
Throw him off his game.
Don't give him the satisfaction he has you as his backburner

You're right...I should have. But I have a bad tendency to lash out at someone when they hurt me. I speak without thinking.

Posted by Snowprincess

Posted by LostBull
That doesn't make any sense. Are you sure he knows how you feel? Are you sure he wasn't trying to get you to say that he will find a girlfriend there.....you? It would be very strange for a man to ask you for help getting a job there and try to hurt your feelings like that before he even shows up for the job fair. Something isn't right.

Yes he knows how I feel...I blurted it out once when I was mad.

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I blurted it out once but his reply let me know he's not ready for that yet so now I just keep it to myself. I don't want to scare him away by continously telling him something he's not ready to hear.

He wanted you to fight for him and show life emotions towards a relationship... Remember the side step? I would text one more time and say you do want to be his girl and you would love nothing more than to be in a relationship with him and if that's what he would like then let's talk about it. Good luck.

Posted by goligold
I think he was saying you can be his girlfriend if you get him a job.... This is why he has been so distant imo, cancer men feel worthless if they aren't making $ $

The thing is he has a job and makes good money. He basically works for hisself. He does remodeling and side jobs like roofing and maintenance...pays a lot better than my job. I work in a warehouse. There are dozens and dozens of warehouses here. A lot that pay more than my job does. So why of all the other and some better paying warehouses would he choose to work where I do? I thought he was joking at first but he said he was serious.

Posted by Shaniajam
He wanted you to fight for him and show life emotions towards a relationship... Remember the side step? I would text one more time and say you do want to be his girl and you would love nothing more than to be in a relationship with him and if that's what he would like then let's talk about it. Good luck.

I wish I could but I am not one to put myself on the line like that. I have a big fear of rejection. Plus I don't think he will even consider that until he sees that I have actually got my own place. (Yay! Friday is almost here!) I did let him know I had feelings and him saying that hurt my feelings.

Posted by Snowprincess

Posted by maomao
You should have told him.. Yea isn't that wonderful? Totally love to see that.
Throw him off his game.
Don't give him the satisfaction he has you as his backburner

You're right...I should have. But I have a bad tendency to lash out at someone when they hurt me. I speak without thinking.

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Next time, show him that you don't give a damn or just says nothing.
It'd be his turn to be panicked 😉

I have never been involved with a cancer man before. I am just totally perplexed on how to deal with him. Before I met this man, I never gave much thought to astrology except an occasional reading of my horoscope. I have now scoured the internet studying their traits...I have stalked the forums trying to learn about them. I am learning the do's and don't's. I am trying to learn how to bite my tongue...not so easy.
My birthday is Sunday. He has already said he will celebrate it with me..so I will see if that still stands and how it goes.

snowprincess, I think he wanted to flirt with you and implying that if he get a job at your work, you will be his girlfriend....

you overreacted........ you didn´t really text him "treetrunk you", did you? If yes, other time please try to keep calm and rather dont respond........ obcene language is a no-no


if he hurts your feelings, then don´t respond at all and calm down first

Posted by goligold

Posted by Snowprincess

Posted by goligold
I think he was saying you can be his girlfriend if you get him a job.... This is why he has been so distant imo, cancer men feel worthless if they aren't making $ $

The thing is he has a job and makes good money. He basically works for hisself. He does remodeling and side jobs like roofing and maintenance...pays a lot better than my job. I work in a warehouse. There are dozens and dozens of warehouses here. A lot that pay more than my job does. So why of all the other and some better paying warehouses would he choose to work where I do? I thought he was joking at first but he said he was serious.

Hmm, interesting...maybe it isn't going so well. Or he is unhappy with the pressures of owning a company, to much drama. You should ask him. I like to be straight up in my relationships...saves so much with trying to second guess and then you know. Don't be afraid to ask him, they like to know we are interested in their lives..

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I did ask him...he didn't answer. He has a habit of not responding to something he doesn't want to answer.

Posted by Pandora101
snowprincess, I think he wanted to flirt with you and implying that if he get a job at your work, you will be his girlfriend....

you overreacted........ you didn´t really text him "treetrunk you", did you? If yes, other time please try to keep calm and rather dont respond........ obcene language is a no-no


if he hurts your feelings, then don´t respond at all and calm down first

Yes I did. I know..wrong reaction...but it was 5:30 AM..I had just woke up ..I was happy to see a text from him..and then I read it...and then BAM...I seen red.

Posted by killerwhalemoon
The fuck you was a big nono. Acting out negativly towards some one because they arent on the same page as you is misunderstanding and uncompassionate. I would have said ok or alright.
Remember hes a human being and deserves as much goodness as you do even if he cant give you what you want.

Yes..I know....I have to learn to bite my tongue. He has said the same thing to me before when he didn't like my joke. Yes..I know that didn't make it right for me to say it...but as I previously stated...I lash out when someone hurts me...something I definitely need to work on.

It's ok. The best you can do now is to wait.
Don't sweat over it.
If he has genuine interest in you, he will have this urge to explain it to you that you get the meaning wrong.
And if he doesn't care or simply thinks you overreact, well.. then you know.. how little you meant to him..

Posted by maomao
It's ok. The best you can do now is to wait.
Don't sweat over it.
If he has genuine interest in you, he will have this urge to explain it to you that you get the meaning wrong.
And if he doesn't care or simply thinks you overreact, well.. then you know.. how little you meant to him..

Yea...I.am not going to text him.,.maybe.that way it will sink in that he hurt me. If I just text him like normal then he will just think I was BS'ing about being hurt.

Ouch!
Ah..the ole ” fuck you”. I have said that to an old cancer friend multiple he's the only person I've said that to. I think they like to say things for a reaction, this guy admitted that to me. I say don't say anything else to him, he knows it hurt you and if he cares at all out his ego isn't super huge he'll be back. Also happy almost bday 🙂

A little update...he texted. He said he was just kidding. He also said he felt he didn't deserve an answer like that. Not sure if he was talking about.me saying fuck you or me saying I guess I was only good enough for him for sex. But I told him yeah he was right..he didn't deserve an answer like that but that's how he made me feel and it hurt my feelings. I also told him I speak sometimes without thinking. Now the waiting game begins again for his reply.

Posted by mgmtlove
Ouch!
Ah..the ole ” fuck you”. I have said that to an old cancer friend multiple he's the only person I've said that to. I think they like to say things for a reaction, this guy admitted that to me. I say don't say anything else to him, he knows it hurt you and if he cares at all out his ego isn't super huge he'll be back. Also happy almost bday 🙂

Thanks for the happy birthday...hopefully I still spend it with him.

If I got a text like that my answer would have been, "Only if that girlfriend is me."

You had a momentary lapse in confidence , he was talking about you and gauging. Now you're even. It's cute.

Good for you for apologizing for lashing out, that takes guts but you also made it clear that you have feelings and won't mess around. Knowing where you stand, he should respect that and now be more sensitive to them.

I hope it works out for you

Thanks shellshocker...I am trying.,.sometimes I feel like giving up, but something tells me to keep trying. I've never been a quitter anyways which is why I usually stay in relationships way past the time I should have called it quits.

Posted by shellshocker
If I got a text like that my answer would have been, "Only if that girlfriend is me."

You had a momentary lapse in confidence , he was talking about you and gauging. Now you're even. It's cute.

Good for you for apologizing for lashing out, that takes guts but you also made it clear that you have feelings and won't mess around. Knowing where you stand, he should respect that and now be more sensitive to them.

I hope it works out for you

Yeah it will be a very good sign if he accepts her apology and also acknowledges that it hurt her. It will
show he's a compromising person and understanding.

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Snowprincess
A little update...he texted. He said he was just kidding. He also said he felt he didn't deserve an answer like that. Not sure if he was talking about.me saying fuck you or me saying I guess I was only good enough for him for sex. But I told him yeah he was right..he didn't deserve an answer like that but that's how he made me feel and it hurt my feelings. I also told him I speak sometimes without thinking. Now the waiting game begins again for his reply.

See!
You guys are going to emotionally eat each other alive. It's like your egos are reaching out to see if the other will bite.

You both are probably on the same page. Gauging each other's reactions to see if it's safe to move ahead. Just be straight up with a crab and you'll get it back. They hate rejection so him mirroring you was for him to see how u really feel. Since you played that game first, he wants to know now.

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I've blurted out once how I felt. That's when he said he didn't want me to fall in love with him. So now I just keep my feelings to myself as he obviously wasn't ready to hear that. So being the type of person I am, I won't tell him any more unless I hear the same from him. I will show him with actions or maybe throw some hints to him, but I won't come straight out and say it again.
He's mad so he's not speaking to me. I really need to learn not to speak in anger and to give myself time to calm down before I respond. I've been working on that and I thought I was doing good, but those words just cut straight through my heart.
In fairness to myself, I did warn him how I am when I'm mad. I warn any guy I date how I am when I get mad. I'm a red head...I have a temper although not as bad as it used to be. Noone ever believes me until they see me mad.

He gave me a ride home from work today. I wasn't sure he would even answer when I texted and asked him. I guess he is getting over it...reminder to myself to not speak out in anger any more. I have to learn to bite my tongue until I calm down.

I had to do that with my cancer too, learn to bite my tongue...I'm sure he was joking..always take stuff like that lightly..and joke back...lobby the ball back n forth just to see what happens...and they do seem to get over things pretty well if they like yaŠ

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Snowprincess
A little update...he texted. He said he was just kidding. He also said he felt he didn't deserve an answer like that. Not sure if he was talking about.me saying fuck you or me saying I guess I was only good enough for him for sex. But I told him yeah he was right..he didn't deserve an answer like that but that's how he made me feel and it hurt my feelings. I also told him I speak sometimes without thinking. Now the waiting game begins again for his reply.

See!
You guys are going to emotionally eat each other alive. It's like your egos are reaching out to see if the other will bite.

You both are probably on the same page. Gauging each other's reactions to see if it's safe to move ahead. Just be straight up with a crab and you'll get it back. They hate rejection so him mirroring you was for him to see how u really feel. Since you played that game first, he wants to know now.

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. THIS.

Posted by boxcarmirnta
I had to do that with my cancer too, learn to bite my tongue...I'm sure he was joking..always take stuff like that lightly..and joke back...lobby the ball back n forth just to see what happens...and they do seem to get over things pretty well if they like yaŠ

Well I have to admit he has put up with quite a bit of shit from me, so I guess he has some kind of feelings for me.

Posted by Arielle83
I honestly wouldn't let it all out right away. Then there's no mystery to figure out. You don't need to warn him just let him see you naturally. When you tell him what to expect, what you put out might not be what he expects or how he interprets it.

It kinda sounds like you expect him to not be interested. Like you're setting yourself up for failure or you expect him to bow out by giving him all these warnings.

You're right. I do have a tendency to say and do things to push a guy away when I start having feelings for them.

Posted by Snowprincess
He gave me a ride home from work today. I wasn't sure he would even answer when I texted and asked him. I guess he is getting over it...reminder to myself to not speak out in anger any more. I have to learn to bite my tongue until I calm down.

You need to calm down yourself. Speak in truth. be positive. Next time don't make any jokes just to make him jealous. cancer men really selfish.

My cancer man is very jealous even the crew guy who took a photo of me and my friend, but I am very bold when I speak with him and I don't hide anything to make him guessing.

He didn't said he was jealous but he kept asking where I was and who took that photo (investigating)...😆.

Posted by M143

Posted by Snowprincess
He gave me a ride home from work today. I wasn't sure he would even answer when I texted and asked him. I guess he is getting over it...reminder to myself to not speak out in anger any more. I have to learn to bite my tongue until I calm down.

You need to calm down yourself. Speak in truth. be positive. Next time don't make any jokes just to make him jealous. cancer men really selfish.

My cancer man is very jealous even the crew guy who took a photo of me and my friend, but I am very bold when I speak with him and I don't hide anything to make him guessing.

He didn't said he was jealous but he kept asking where I was and who took that photo (investigating)...😆.

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Yea I know I need to calm down. I am working on that. There will be no more jokes like that.
On the ride home he was asking if I talked to anyone at work or if I had friends at work. He knows I do so not sure why he was asking that.
He also opened up a little more on a personal level. From everything I've learned about Cancer men, I am taking that as a good sign.

Today is my birthday. Today is the day I make my decision on whether or not to just walk away. He told me last week he would celebrate my birthday with me. I told him not to change his mind as I was going to request vacation time for tomorrow so I wouldn't have to worry about getting to bed early. The other day I mentioned it as a gentle reminder and to also confirm that he was still planning on celebrating with me. His response was probably. I know him well enough to know that meant he was backing out. If he does, I am not going to say anything...no temper tantrum...nothing...I.am just going to quit texting him and move on with my life.

Posted by Snowprincess
Today is my birthday. Today is the day I make my decision on whether or not to just walk away. He told me last week he would celebrate my birthday with me. I told him not to change his mind as I was going to request vacation time for tomorrow so I wouldn't have to worry about getting to bed early. The other day I mentioned it as a gentle reminder and to also confirm that he was still planning on celebrating with me. His response was probably. I know him well enough to know that meant he was backing out. If he does, I am not going to say anything...no temper tantrum...nothing...I.am just going to quit texting him and move on with my life.

a bit late, but happy birthday Snowprincess!

How was the celebration? Did the cancer join you? any news?

Posted by Pandora101

Posted by Snowprincess
Today is my birthday. Today is the day I make my decision on whether or not to just walk away. He told me last week he would celebrate my birthday with me. I told him not to change his mind as I was going to request vacation time for tomorrow so I wouldn't have to worry about getting to bed early. The other day I mentioned it as a gentle reminder and to also confirm that he was still planning on celebrating with me. His response was probably. I know him well enough to know that meant he was backing out. If he does, I am not going to say anything...no temper tantrum...nothing...I.am just going to quit texting him and move on with my life.

a bit late, but happy birthday Snowprincess!

How was the celebration? Did the cancer join you? any news?

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Thank.you. No he did not. I sent him a sarcastic text thanking him for a good time...lol. i.haven't texted him since. But I found out his birthday is in June not July so he's not a Cancer, he's a Gemini. But he does have Cancer rising.

I don't know why he would lie about his birthday. He only told me the wrong month. He told me the correct day and year.

Im a female cancer & I know cancer male & females are different but JMO..... He meant you as his gf.
He is probably upset because he hurt you accidentally & you may have hurt him.
I would have said something back to you but cancer men are definitely more sensitive...
I recommend calling him, he may not answer because we HATE confrontation & showing our feelings but what you say will mean more if he does answer. (If no answer text him)
Tell him you read it as soon as you woke & weren't thinking clearly but maybe if he's lucky he can snag a girl there in the meantime your stuck with me.
Turn it into your own words but try to push the convo toward you guys dating. Be gentle.

We say things sideways because we are sideways walking crabs & we tend to think people are minds readers! I know it's all horrible and I hate being a crab sometimes but we are the most amazing spouses I promise & my male BFF is an amazing husband.

Omg! Just read the most current comments.... He lied because he's a Gemini!! Good luck with that