DO I WANT HIM BACK??

As time goes on I'm starting to think if I really want old cancer back? He seems a little sad on his post as if he is waiting for me to make a move... Even though o broke it off I told him my feelings and he dissapeared but that was after he said he didn't want a relationship. He has done similar to me and returned but that's after I showed some communication then he lunged forward. But this time... I won't be contacting him at all because my feelings matter too.

Now another reason is as the time goes on I start to realize if he said he don't want a relationship be it true or not or in the moment (which I think it is) why would I want to do that to myself knowing what I have to offer?

Thirdly... I've found a new cancer (5 days ago, it'll be a week no contact from old cancer). I've been avoiding him and he has been lunging forward. Everything I say he finds a positive way to make me change my mind and look at him differently. We had a date today and I made an excuse... Instead, he set up massages for us on Friday to attend and he also asked me to spend the whole day Saturday to get to know each other and lay everything on the table (He knows about old cancer) begged me not to go back and asked me to let him show me what a real man does. Still I'm apprehensive. I will do those things this weekend but I'm still cautious. If old cancer comes back... Should I even give him the opportunity to prove himself? Why? Because cancers dissaper and I know new cancer will soon too... And since old cancer and I have some history I believe in giving chances. Nonetheless I'm not waiting and I'm just pressing forward in work and life.... New cancer is definitely working his way in my mind and possible heart though. And the pain of old cancer?! Slowly subsiding. Let me know what you think.

Posted by Arielle83
Do you not like being single?
Or do you need to date one after the other?

Just wondering.

Trust me... This was not my intentions... I have told new cancer I need to take it slow and I have pushed him away more than once... He still comes forward... Or should I tell him to fuk off?

@arielle83 also there is nothing wrong with DATING... Geez my life still goes on you know

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Shaniajam
@arielle83 also there is nothing wrong with DATING... Geez my life still goes on you know

I didn't say there was.

The thing is, if you've got it hot for one, and being with the other to waste time thinking the first will come back, what are you really doing?

Wasting time.

You're focused on them. Why wait? Just do you and whatever happens, happens.

Like I've said, cancer does their own thing. Don't play with hearts because you don't really know what you want.

Or do you?

click to expand

Going through the same thing. I started talking to new people just a couple weeks ago, then I cut everyone off. I've felt this whole time since me and my Cancer broke up a few months ago that he'd be back....but after reading all the diff stories on here I dont know what I want or what to do. Mine came back a week after breakup, and also just a day or so ago and I havent responded. It's not that I want him chasing after me, its cause I dont know what I want, and I dont know what he wants, like is this just a check up thing or something else...I dont know!!! No matter how much I've healed or worked on myself since the breakup, I dont answer cause I know I'm not ready for a convo, and more than likely I'll just say something stupid, lol...I know myself. Just trying to break old patterns and habits within myself.

So, I'm stuck. 😢

Posted by Arielle83
Do you not like being single?
Or do you need to date one after the other?

Just wondering.

Dead @ do you not like being single

I don't know why I find that so funny.

Posted by Arielle83
It's like you want him to make the decision for you.

You want him to want you.

This is why I think it's best to drop it all after one to remind yourself of what you want.

You can't figure it out from going from one and dating others. You'll just get stuck in a pattern with one soothing you after the other. And then you'll be that chick who can't be single and maybe you'll fall for the wrong ones.

Just because he comes after you or wants you doesn't mean you have to accept.

Take the time to figure out what YOU really want in another human.

Don't waste time.

This is true. In my situation I haven't really "dated"... I started talking to a cpl ppl but just couldnt do it. I was single for like 7 yrs before my Cancer guy so I know how to be single I guess, lol.

I suppose I feel bad cause I'm not answering his call. I do want him to want me, I want him...but I'm just terrified. This whole experience has been like a shell shock to me, and I cant imagine going through this again. Im just glad I have things to do take my attention and focus away from it most times.

My heart knows what it wants, but....?

Posted by Arielle83
It's like you want him to make the decision for you.

You want him to want you.

This is why I think it's best to drop it all after one to remind yourself of what you want.

You can't figure it out from going from one and dating others. You'll just get stuck in a pattern with one soothing you after the other. And then you'll be that chick who can't be single and maybe you'll fall for the wrong ones.

Just because he comes after you or wants you doesn't mean you have to accept.

Take the time to figure out what YOU really want in another human.

Don't waste time.

I like that... Thank you

Posted by starlover
Hmmmmm.....my sense is new Cancer will bring you the same issues as old Cancer brought to you unless you resolve them
I believe that jumping from person to person can bring more problems

That happened to me with two Aquas

I am now of the belief there are no such things as coincidences

🙂

Makes sense... Cause I stil keep thinking of old cancer and I don't want to hurt new cancer cause I'm hurt myself. I'm gonna chill

Posted by iPootMagic

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Shaniajam
@arielle83 also there is nothing wrong with DATING... Geez my life still goes on you know

I didn't say there was.

The thing is, if you've got it hot for one, and being with the other to waste time thinking the first will come back, what are you really doing?

Wasting time.

You're focused on them. Why wait? Just do you and whatever happens, happens.

Like I've said, cancer does their own thing. Don't play with hearts because you don't really know what you want.

Or do you?

Going through the same thing. I started talking to new people just a couple weeks ago, then I cut everyone off. I've felt this whole time since me and my Cancer broke up a few months ago that he'd be back....but after reading all the diff stories on here I dont know what I want or what to do. Mine came back a week after breakup, and also just a day or so ago and I havent responded. It's not that I want him chasing after me, its cause I dont know what I want, and I dont know what he wants, like is this just a check up thing or something else...I dont know!!! No matter how much I've healed or worked on myself since the breakup, I dont answer cause I know I'm not ready for a convo, and more than likely I'll just say something stupid, lol...I know myself. Just trying to break old patterns and habits within myself.

So, I'm stuck. 😢

click to expand

So after the week you didn't take him back?? Then he came back again after how long? And still wasn't sure either?

Posted by Shaniajam

Posted by iPootMagic

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Shaniajam
@arielle83 also there is nothing wrong with DATING... Geez my life still goes on you know

I didn't say there was.

The thing is, if you've got it hot for one, and being with the other to waste time thinking the first will come back, what are you really doing?

Wasting time.

You're focused on them. Why wait? Just do you and whatever happens, happens.

Like I've said, cancer does their own thing. Don't play with hearts because you don't really know what you want.

Or do you?

Going through the same thing. I started talking to new people just a couple weeks ago, then I cut everyone off. I've felt this whole time since me and my Cancer broke up a few months ago that he'd be back....but after reading all the diff stories on here I dont know what I want or what to do. Mine came back a week after breakup, and also just a day or so ago and I havent responded. It's not that I want him chasing after me, its cause I dont know what I want, and I dont know what he wants, like is this just a check up thing or something else...I dont know!!! No matter how much I've healed or worked on myself since the breakup, I dont answer cause I know I'm not ready for a convo, and more than likely I'll just say something stupid, lol...I know myself. Just trying to break old patterns and habits within myself.

So, I'm stuck. 😢

So after the week you didn't take him back?? Then he came back again after how long? And still wasn't sure either?

click to expand

He came back after a little over 2 mos. I want him, just scared more than anything, and not sure why he's back. Could be a check up, idk