Holiday recipe

Bacardi Rum Christmas Cookies:

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Bacardi Dark Rum

To Begin:

Sample a tablespoon of the Rum to assess quality.

Assemble ingredients:
Measure out 1/2 cup of the Rum and drink, to double check the quality.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large bowl.

Add one teastoon of sugar. Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure the Rum is still ok, try another cup just in case.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.
Turn off the mixerer thingy.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the 1/2 cup Rum to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who gives a shit.
Mix on the turner.

Top off yer cup of Rum. Now chop the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, was there s'posed to be flour in this?

Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Rum and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.

Chewy Shmistmas..... ;}