Making Sense - You guys have been so helpful

First, I wanted to say you guys rock. You've been so helpful with my problems and trying to understand the Cancer mindset. I owe you one - I don't have any friends who believe in astrology, so this is really a great place to figure things out.

My boyfriend (a pretty typical Cancer) moved to my city about 2 years ago, and before he started dating me (a pretty typical Pisces) he dated two other girls who were both sorta duds. He's told me he loves me, and we spend like every night together.

Anyway, before all of this, he dated a girl for 5 years back in Vancouver. After living in France together for a year (for year 4 of their relationship) they moved back to Canada and my boyfriend told her he didn't want to live with her anymore because he "liked a place to himself and needed space"

The guy, rightfully in my opinion, got super ticked off and that was the begining of the end. I talked to his best friend about it and even she, when he told her the story, was like "How could you do that?" and his only reply was "I don't know..."

When I asked him why he did that, my boyfriend was like "Well, I just like having my own space - when you move in together you become roommates instead of boyfriend-girlfriend. The only reason he lived with me in France is because I was already there and he couldn't afford his own place."

This has me freaking out. We already talked about how he never wants to get married... now I'm afraid to ever ask him about moving in together. This is weird right - I mean, don't want Cancers want family and home life and stability and blah blah blah?

Is this a guy who likes his freedom too much? Is he not ready to grow up? He's 30 and I'm 28... I'm afraid if I invest all my time in with him that it'll be for nothing because he'll turn a quick fin and swim away.

Slow down firefox that is all he's really saying to you, I see a few RED FLAGS, 3 months and you have already discussed marriage and now you have an agenda of moving in together at some point, on top of that he's still talking to his ex-girlfriend, he's shown some signs despite saying I love you that he's not ready to be in a REAL relationship with you....

He senses your need to move forward with him and his response to that is I like having my own space, although he's discussing his past relationships it's also his way of letting you know he's not ready for anything serious, take heed to his warning, he's telling you NOW that he needs space so although he's spending tons of time with you (honeymoooning) he's going to get his space from the relationship b/c he likes it.

If you send him the vibe that you want more of his space too soon he will inevitably friend zone this relationship. No need to panic, get busy focusing on your life, hobbies, friends/girl nights out, slow down on all the honeymooning and shift the focus back onto YOU. He's already picked up that you want marriage and you want to live with him, men are not stupid, he's not ready for that, that is why I said if you are cooking and cleaning and sleeping in his bed/your bed with him he will sense that your nesting and he will begin to panic and find ways to slow you down. He's had enough relationship experience to know what he wants, now that you know his stance on what he wants that is GOOD, no need to panic, focus on your life, get busy doing something other than him all of the time and don't worry about it. Your too focused on him, too focused on his life, his past, his apartment, all that attention makes a man nervous..

I hope I'm not being too harsh, I believe you have a keeper but the first couple years can be very fragile and if you push too soon by behaving a certain way it could potentially end the relationship with the let's just be friends were moving too fast curse.

Just wanting exclusivity with a man who has not offered to marry you lowers your value. Right now, you are excited about having the status of being his girlfriend. Girlfriend, the name sounds good but it is a BAD position to accept from a man. His spending time with you is not going to change his mind about marriage. He has already warned you, he is not ready for that and you sitting around waiting for marriage from a man who has told you he doesn't want it, is placing you in a begging, needy position. Why do you want that position? You are his friend. Can a man tell a friend he loves her? Yes, say these words to yourself. I love you. What are they, words with no value and he is aware that you love hearing those words from him that hold no value. Is it going to make him fall in love with you? No.

Get yourself a life outside of him. I have read your posts and Tiki has told you from her orginal posts what your doing is acting like a wife with your behavior. YES, he will APPRECIATE all the little things you do for him. He will always tell you he loves you for kindness. Is it going to make him want to marry you tommorrow? No, he is not going to like you no more today than he did yesterday. Matter of fact, the more you give, give, give your time, energy, heart and effort to ANY man who has not asked you for marriage, makes him think that you are "trying to get him". It reeks low self esteem, it is lowering your value. No man wants a woman who is lower than himself to be his wife.

The problem here that women can't understand is you have to be willing to lose this man. Yes, lose him. Pretending, playing hard to get, acting like you don't care will not cut the deal here. You have to go and live your life. If you want marriage, then move on. No, he may not come chasing after you, he doesn't want marriage. Right now, you are with him at your own risk because he already told you the deal.