My first Cancer boyfriend HELP!

So a brief look around the forums tells me I am not alone in my Crabby confusion. Hopefully, someone can lend me some advice. To complicate things, this is a long distance relationship.

My Cancer man is pretty wonderful. Kind, sensitive, so funny, smart beyond belief but also...CRABBY!

So at first, we just clicked and the messages and calls were all day every day, he could not get enough of me and I felt "wow" about how charming and confident he was. He told me he really liked me, saw me as being potentially the woman he wanted to be with for life, and I felt the same.

Then all of sudden he changed. He started creating space / push and pull / disappearing for days and then coming back like nothing was up and being surprised that I was not happy. Being very jealous, possessive, negative, insecure and not speaking to me for weeks if I did the slightest thing to challenge him. Literally almost like he was trying deliberately to kill the relationship.

So...I moved on. I assumed he was a jerk and had fooled me and went and got on with my life.

A month later he calls me up and he tells me he is really sorry, that he was scared, that the fact that he liked me so much scared him and that he pushed me away because he thought I would leave him or hurt him and that despite trying to forget me he has not been able to do that and that he thinks maybe I am the one girl he can't live without.

So we sort things out and it's all great for two weeks. Then more of the distant behavior. And this cycle repeats kinda constantly for the past 4 months where he seems to get really close to me and then take a few days away and he can often completely ignore me.

Now I know he likes me, because the stuff he does for me is so sweet and loving and he considers me in his major life decisions and shows in so many ways how he feels - yet he keeps me at a distance also too and we are not quite a "couple" yet.

I have tried to be patient, as much as I can, but each time he ignores I feel not wanted / rejected /hurt /confused and have told him this but he continues to do it. In general terms it is getting better but on a daily basis there is no consistency in terms of whether he will be speaking to me or not.

I have asked him if this is what I can expect from a "full relationship" with him, and he says no, he says once he is in he is in but that he just does not leap in and he is cautious and afraid i will leave him.



Can anyone advise if my waiting might pay off?

Can anyone advise if there is anything that I can do to stop him from pushing me away like this?

I feel like he is in danger of losing me, and I know for a fact that if he does we will both be very sad, but he keeps doing this.

Crabby confusion

pushing him in the slightest has a negative affect.

Give all the space he wants & needs.

It's your choice to wait, he isn't going to end things.

I'm happy as a lark with 2 years of this but we're both cancers so sometimes I want to end it bc of this & others I'm so grateful he isn't clingy (yet) btw I do it to him also. I went two months not speaking to him recently. I saw him calling & texting but didn't feel like talking. Doesn't mean I lost an ounce of love for him. We just go on how we feel in our daily grind & it's not about our relationship condition. Just how we feel that day/moment. We're complex for sure but def worth it

IMO enjoy the phases

What are you & do you have more info of his chart?

I appreciated the reply!

I am Scorpio, rising Leo, Aries Moon (patience NOT strong suit), Mercury in Sag, Venus in Scorpio

He is (I think) Sun in Cancer, Libra rising, Moon in Sag, Mercury in Cancer and I think Venus in Gemini.

I actually don't mind if he needs this, but I find it hard to believe he really cares about me if he can go days without wanting to speak to me, it makes me feel like he doesn't like me anymore, loves me less than i love him and I feel so insecure about it. I wish I could get reasurance that it does not mean that.

He tells me it does not mean that, he tells me I am constantly on his mind.

Mine bf is cancer sun sag moon gem Venus lol

This is the 3rd guy with cancer sun Gemini Venus in the last few days on dxp.



But truly the silence doesn't mean those things. Just go about your life he won't leave you. Things will make more sense as they go on. I will tell you you have a long raod ahead of you can't be patient. Marriage is probably not in the books for some time. IJS

Word of the week for ladies loving cancer men with Gemini Venus: patience

Thanks so much for that, he is worth some patience.

My one confusion is why he was so different for the first 4 - 5 weeks. Calling me every day without fail, apologising if he didn't, texting me every single day, sometimes 100 texts, asking me to meet his family, asking me to book a vacation with him, talking about how I was marriage material and all of that.

I think what confused me was that he was sooooo fast /infatuated at first and then pulled back. For me, 20 years of experience told me this was bad news and meant he did not like me anymore.

He says the opposite is true, that he knows what I want and should have is the FULL relationship with a view to kids / marriage etc. and that he is sure he wants this too from me so I kind of wonder why he drags his feet and goes quite like he does.

I hope it isn't a case of now he knows he has me he thinks he can do whatever he likes.

I have the same experience as you. 3 1/2 years of pulling away, coming back like nothing has happened. Surprised to say you're hurt, confused, rejected and uncared for by his actions, would pull away if you tell him this. It's been constant and I tell myself I've been patient long enough, Feel unloved long enough. Now I am resentful. I used to be loving, attentive, giving, patient with this guy now I feel nothing but hurt, resentment and confusion . I wish he'd change, grow up, be mature and communicate properly. But seems like all Cancer men are like that after reading all the thread here. It's like we are all dating one Cancer guy based on our experiences. Today, I finally ended it. And still it's my fault according to him. But he said he cares for me. More confusion on my part. I think they don't see the efforts we put in the relationship. All they see is themselves and how hurt they are. They only focus on their feelings. But guess what, we have feelings too and we get hurt by their actions. They should man up if they want love and care from us.

Good luck to me and my single life.

Posted by MondayMorning
Thanks so much for that, he is worth some patience.

My one confusion is why he was so different for the first 4 - 5 weeks. Calling me every day without fail, apologising if he didn't, texting me every single day, sometimes 100 texts, asking me to meet his family, asking me to book a vacation with him, talking about how I was marriage material and all of that.

I think what confused me was that he was sooooo fast /infatuated at first and then pulled back. For me, 20 years of experience told me this was bad news and meant he did not like me anymore.

He says the opposite is true, that he knows what I want and should have is the FULL relationship with a view to kids / marriage etc. and that he is sure he wants this too from me so I kind of wonder why he drags his feet and goes quite like he does.

I hope it isn't a case of now he knows he has me he thinks he can do whatever he likes.

It's hard for us to like people. When we find someone we actually think may be worth our time we get excited & over do it. Then we realize how we're acting and chill some so that we don't smother the flames. Also we start getting to a point where we can actually be hurt by you so we get scared & begin the dance. (Push/pull)

Thanks all. I read this online written by a Cancer man...do you think it is true?

-no matter how introverted we may act, never forget the fact that our hearts are still burning with compassion for you. we will never forget how strongly we feel no matter how distant we may seem.

-we need constant reassurance on how you feel towards us. sometimes even the slightest little thing may leave our hearts crushed, and we are left thinking about this one little thing whatever it may for days on end, until our confidence is reassured.

-spend as much time as you can with us. it may seem like we don't want to be bothered, but coming from personal experience, half the time we act like that is because our hearts feel so burdened because of some stupid little thing that we can barely muster up the strength to go be with you and talk to you.

-we get EXTREMELY jealous, even over the littlest things, so watch out, because our spirits can be crushed by even the smallest things. and it hurts ridiculously bad.

-if you truly love a Cancerian man, pour you heart out to him and he will love you forever, and probably pour his own heart out as well. we love nothing more than to have close moments like this where we are totally reassured. but even after a few weeks we still find ourselves questioning how you feel towards us so constant communication is a must.

-sometimes we get the worst feeling of longing to be with you, to the point where it so excruciating that we have to get up and do something about, and this is where Cancer men shine the most think, because it causes them to break out of their shell and surprise their person of interest

- IF A Cancer MAN LOVES YOU, IT WILL BE THE MOST INTENSE LOVE YOU HAVE EVER FELT, SO BRACE YOURSELF.

would particularly love to hear from Cancer men if all that is true?

What about a canceran saying miss you but hes with Someone else :-/

I don't think thats a star sign thing, but only a total douche bag would say that to another girl if he had a girlfriend. Forget that guy. Even if he dates you, you can expect him to be hitting on other girls. Who wants that?

I feel you! My Cancer guy has a lot of similarities, and the relationship can be tiring. I wish he was not so amazing sometimes because there is stuff that is hard to cope with.

OK thanks

Posted by Arielle83
All you need to know is it takes cancer forever to fall in love.

You're all confusing the infatuation early state with love.

Infatuation is lust and excitement, it isn't love. Women want it to be love because romance is a construct to seduce women.

For men infatuation is admiration and desire. It isn't love. This is why you need to hold your reins and not fall into it.

As a Cancer male, I must ask, are you a troll?

Posted by mattsmum
I have the same experience as you. 3 1/2 years of pulling away, coming back like nothing has happened. Surprised to say you're hurt, confused, rejected and uncared for by his actions, would pull away if you tell him this. It's been constant and I tell myself I've been patient long enough, Feel unloved long enough. Now I am resentful. I used to be loving, attentive, giving, patient with this guy now I feel nothing but hurt, resentment and confusion . I wish he'd change, grow up, be mature and communicate properly. But seems like all Cancer men are like that after reading all the thread here. It's like we are all dating one Cancer guy based on our experiences. Today, I finally ended it. And still it's my fault according to him. But he said he cares for me. More confusion on my part. I think they don't see the efforts we put in the relationship. All they see is themselves and how hurt they are. They only focus on their feelings. But guess what, we have feelings too and we get hurt by their actions. They should man up if they want love and care from us.

Good luck to me and my single life.

This.

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by mattsmum
I have the same experience as you. 3 1/2 years of pulling away, coming back like nothing has happened. Surprised to say you're hurt, confused, rejected and uncared for by his actions, would pull away if you tell him this. It's been constant and I tell myself I've been patient long enough, Feel unloved long enough. Now I am resentful. I used to be loving, attentive, giving, patient with this guy now I feel nothing but hurt, resentment and confusion . I wish he'd change, grow up, be mature and communicate properly. But seems like all Cancer men are like that after reading all the thread here. It's like we are all dating one Cancer guy based on our experiences. Today, I finally ended it. And still it's my fault according to him. But he said he cares for me. More confusion on my part. I think they don't see the efforts we put in the relationship. All they see is themselves and how hurt they are. They only focus on their feelings. But guess what, we have feelings too and we get hurt by their actions. They should man up if they want love and care from us.

Good luck to me and my single life.

This.

click to expand

I love how everyone is an expert.

Posted by Shaun1994

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by mattsmum
I have the same experience as you. 3 1/2 years of pulling away, coming back like nothing has happened. Surprised to say you're hurt, confused, rejected and uncared for by his actions, would pull away if you tell him this. It's been constant and I tell myself I've been patient long enough, Feel unloved long enough. Now I am resentful. I used to be loving, attentive, giving, patient with this guy now I feel nothing but hurt, resentment and confusion . I wish he'd change, grow up, be mature and communicate properly. But seems like all Cancer men are like that after reading all the thread here. It's like we are all dating one Cancer guy based on our experiences. Today, I finally ended it. And still it's my fault according to him. But he said he cares for me. More confusion on my part. I think they don't see the efforts we put in the relationship. All they see is themselves and how hurt they are. They only focus on their feelings. But guess what, we have feelings too and we get hurt by their actions. They should man up if they want love and care from us.

Good luck to me and my single life.

This.

I love how everyone is an expert.

click to expand

And why wouldn't we be? When you have experience... You become....... An expert! Duh.

@Arielle18 thank you for responding.

No, honestly, I dod not back up - I select carefully, choose to make myself vulnerable and then move forward unless the other person does something to break my trust /confuse me or make me doubt. So him pulling back makes me confused and causes me to doubt.

It's a hard situation because I fell for him when he called me every day, texted me every morning, phoned me every night. This is the guy I "fell for" and gave my own vulnerability to and when he did a 180- on me I feel kind of cheated. I feel like my trust was gained and he then changed the criteria.

I know he likes me, I know he likes me a lot and that he will be thinking about me, but it's now been 3 days since he talked to me properly and the back and forth /hot and cold / up and down is painful for me.

The truth is that when he does this for a few days, after a couple of days I become sure he isn't coming back or that something is wrong and I begin the grieving process and cry and then he is back like nothing happened and wanting to speak to me every minute and show me song lyrics that remind me of him and tell me how I haven't left his mind and how he is picturing our wedding.

It's an emotional rollercoaster. I want consistency. I want my feelings and needs to be respected.

I don't know about "his needs" because he is a bad communicator.

But if his genuine need in the relationship is to come and go emotionally as he pleases with no care for how this affects his partner then I am not sure this is a healthy need. Relationships are about building a bond and growing intimacy and trust and it is impossible to do that if you do not know if a person is going to be there or not.

If I sent him a text right now, he'd be happy to hear from me and would reply right away with something cute, asking me bout my day or whatever. He always wants to speak to me - but emotionally...he creates this distance. We get soooo close and then he pushes back over and over and over and it has exhausted me.

When he is in the mood, I get pages and pages of texts - sometimes 4 - 5 calls a day of an hour each while he tells me about our future, how excited he is to see me, how beautiful I am and it is almost as if the time apart / away from me has rejuvenated him - all the while it has been hurting me.

If I tell him he has hurt me, he gets hurt. He hates hearing that. so what do I do? Shut up about my feelings?

I want a boyfriend who talks to me every day. I want consistency. I want a relationship based on mutual vulnerability - not one person being so scared of that that they sabotage.

I think today I just woke up and felt like I needed to end the relationship with him. I love him, and I am toleratant- but I need to know he is going to consistently be around. I can't be questioning like this all the time while he goes off on his angsty little journey

@mondaymorning that was very well put! I have been struggling with the same issues!

Posted by Shaun1994

Posted by Arielle83
All you need to know is it takes cancer forever to fall in love.

You're all confusing the infatuation early state with love.

Infatuation is lust and excitement, it isn't love. Women want it to be love because romance is a construct to seduce women.

For men infatuation is admiration and desire. It isn't love. This is why you need to hold your reins and not fall into it.

As a Cancer male, I must ask, are you a troll?

click to expand

No she's a cancer whose dropping knowledge on these poor clueless souls. I look back to see if you gave any good advice.

Posted by MondayMorning
I don't know about "his needs" because he is a bad communicator.

But if his genuine need in the relationship is to come and go emotionally as he pleases with no care for how this affects his partner then I am not sure this is a healthy need. Relationships are about building a bond and growing intimacy and trust and it is impossible to do that if you do not know if a person is going to be there or not.

If I sent him a text right now, he'd be happy to hear from me and would reply right away with something cute, asking me bout my day or whatever. He always wants to speak to me - but emotionally...he creates this distance. We get soooo close and then he pushes back over and over and over and it has exhausted me.

When he is in the mood, I get pages and pages of texts - sometimes 4 - 5 calls a day of an hour each while he tells me about our future, how excited he is to see me, how beautiful I am and it is almost as if the time apart / away from me has rejuvenated him - all the while it has been hurting me.

If I tell him he has hurt me, he gets hurt. He hates hearing that. so what do I do? Shut up about my feelings?

I want a boyfriend who talks to me every day. I want consistency. I want a relationship based on mutual vulnerability - not one person being so scared of that that they sabotage.

I think today I just woke up and felt like I needed to end the relationship with him. I love him, and I am toleratant- but I need to know he is going to consistently be around. I can't be questioning like this all the time while he goes off on his angsty little journey

I totally hear you. I would put up with the flakiness forever thinking I'm being understanding and eventually I had a moment of no more. The first vanish act I sent a bye message and that I will not tolerate vanishing.



This wasn't to a cancer dude it was a Pisces then had to do the same to a Virgo. I'm not getting the bs way some men act these days. The communication is terrible! I'm no longer putting up with it. Already told an Aqua guy asking me out what's up. I will no longer put up with flakey crap! 😆

@kissmygrits Yeah...I guess that is the right way. It was strange because I think I got manipulated. The first 1 - 2 months I told him from day one what I like and find attractive. He did all of it. No flakey. Total opposite of flaky. In fact I remember he was in a car accident and first thing he did was to call me and say "wanted to tell you I can;t text you the next few hours and not to feel rejected".

Then we got close, and the push / pull /test / insecurity game came out and it coincided with him going through a tough time in life in general, (problems with his kids /. work / life / father had cancer ) and I allowed a lot of "space" and "leeway" because i thought we were in a new relationship and he was "going through a lot" - but you know, I have been there for him, rock solid been there for him and I amn considerate ALL THE TIME about how he feels,

And you know...I sit there getting these crazy long love letters and essays to how perfect I am and it occurs to me that while this stuff is all cute, and I DO know he genuinely feels that way, I also want a man who is HERE. You know? Not an academic fantasy love affair with some guy worshipping me from a distance, but someone who is here with me - day by day, reliable, me feeling ALWAYS like a priority as he is ALWAYS one to me,

It;s like he lives in a different world. Once time he did not call me for 10 days and when I assumed we had broken up and he was ghosting me he was totally shocked. He thought it had been 2 days and he liked me more than ever.

We are so intimate, we have talked for hundreds and hundreds of hours - he knows being cast aside / ignored causes me pain and he does it anyway. i know he is suffering in particular because his father is dying but this is the time we should be TOGETHER.

I think I am going to break up with him, and the whole thing makes me sad. He is kind of a dummy but I guess it is easier for him to play the role of the person who lost the girl he loves and feels so sorry for himself than playing the role of the actual boyfriend who shows up emotionally and lets himself be vulnerable.

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by mattsmum
I have the same experience as you. 3 1/2 years of pulling away, coming back like nothing has happened. Surprised to say you're hurt, confused, rejected and uncared for by his actions, would pull away if you tell him this. It's been constant and I tell myself I've been patient long enough, Feel unloved long enough. Now I am resentful. I used to be loving, attentive, giving, patient with this guy now I feel nothing but hurt, resentment and confusion . I wish he'd change, grow up, be mature and communicate properly. But seems like all Cancer men are like that after reading all the thread here. It's like we are all dating one Cancer guy based on our experiences. Today, I finally ended it. And still it's my fault according to him. But he said he cares for me. More confusion on my part. I think they don't see the efforts we put in the relationship. All they see is themselves and how hurt they are. They only focus on their feelings. But guess what, we have feelings too and we get hurt by their actions. They should man up if they want love and care from us.

Good luck to me and my single life.

This.

Yet her entire post reflects her not understanding him and her only focusing on her feelings and how hurt she is and how he needs to change for her.

Hypocritical.

click to expand

It says she was loving giving patient attentive with this guy... Nothing Worked. I experienced the exact same thing. Sounds like she did everything she could and has finally had enough... Sounds so familiar its freaky.

Posted by MondayMorning
@kissmygrits Yeah...I guess that is the right way. It was strange because I think I got manipulated. The first 1 - 2 months I told him from day one what I like and find attractive. He did all of it. No flakey. Total opposite of flaky. In fact I remember he was in a car accident and first thing he did was to call me and say "wanted to tell you I can;t text you the next few hours and not to feel rejected".

Then we got close, and the push / pull /test / insecurity game came out and it coincided with him going through a tough time in life in general, (problems with his kids /. work / life / father had cancer ) and I allowed a lot of "space" and "leeway" because i thought we were in a new relationship and he was "going through a lot" - but you know, I have been there for him, rock solid been there for him and I amn considerate ALL THE TIME about how he feels,

And you know...I sit there getting these crazy long love letters and essays to how perfect I am and it occurs to me that while this stuff is all cute, and I DO know he genuinely feels that way, I also want a man who is HERE. You know? Not an academic fantasy love affair with some guy worshipping me from a distance, but someone who is here with me - day by day, reliable, me feeling ALWAYS like a priority as he is ALWAYS one to me,

It;s like he lives in a different world. Once time he did not call me for 10 days and when I assumed we had broken up and he was ghosting me he was totally shocked. He thought it had been 2 days and he liked me more than ever.

We are so intimate, we have talked for hundreds and hundreds of hours - he knows being cast aside / ignored causes me pain and he does it anyway. i know he is suffering in particular because his father is dying but this is the time we should be TOGETHER.

I think I am going to break up with him, and the whole thing makes me sad. He is kind of a dummy but I guess it is easier for him to play the role of the person who lost the girl he loves and feels so sorry for himself than playing the role of the actual boyfriend who shows up emotionally and lets himself be vulnerable.

Talk is cheap. It's actions that matter. You don't like the inconsistent way he's behaving. Nobody wants that in a relationship... You're supposed to be able to trust and depend on the person you love. This isnt his show.. It's both of yours... He sounds like a coward. If he means what he says he'll act like it.

As I expected, he phones me today and after a week of silence he acts like nothing happened. It is literally as if he has these disappearing spells and during those periods of 5 - 10 days away from me it's like is is in a time warp where he doesn't get that any time has passed.

And I really wanted to be mad at him or end it, but he just sounded so totally innocent and happy to speak to me.

I honestly don't understand him

I appreciate you responding @Arielle83 and the insight into how a Cancer's mind works. It can definitely be counter productive but maybe every sign is like that.

You know he actually said to me on the phone yesterday "I knew if you tolerated ______________ that this meant you were the one to keep around". Just in passing he says that.

I don't enjoy being tested. I want to be valued I guess and heard and treated like I am valuable and like someone does not want to lose me.

Feeling really sad this morning.

Makes me sad two people can care about and like each other this much and just be so dysfunctional, and he doesn't realise it but he's losing my heart with the way he behaves.

Love dies of a thousand paper cuts they say.

Loving him feels like that.

@Arielle83 - do you think it can then be "the norm" for partners to speak only every few days? Is this normal for you? for me, my boyfriend is who I speak to every day.

By the way, worth mentioning - this guys first wife left him for not being around enough. She said he did not give her enough attention - so I guess I am not alone in interpreting his behavior as negative.

I want it to work, because he is just so unique. He makes me laugh and smile like crazy, but I guess I hate that he feels distant half the time. I can't seem to work with it or understand it.

@Ariell83 - where is the part where he respects who I am though? Why is his need to communicate every few days more important than my need to communicate every day?

Maybe this is incompatibility - but my needs are not less important. You have to listen to each other and act on that.

As one example, he is insanely jealous. He is so jealous he is actually made upset by the idea of me pro-creating my child 13 years ago with someone else. He gets insanely jealous over my male friends.

Since I realised this, I have turned down invitations to do stuff with male friends if I feel the situation is something he'd dislike. Like for example I am learning to drive and my close male friend offered to give me lessons and i felt BF would feel hurt by that.

But you know..I wanna learn to drive and that guy is an old friend I have no interest in, but I change that behavior because I love my BF and down want him to feel shit. So you know...I wonder...would it kill him to call me for 5 minutes each day?

Where is the compromise?

I am not arguing with you, more thinking out loud because I am due to spend a few days with BF in a couple of weeks and I really want to explain to him what I want from a relationship and have him at leats try and provide that - I am happy to do the same, but I am not happy to be the ONLY one making effort.

I am just trying my hardest not to write hima text message in anger or something

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Shaun1994

Posted by Arielle83
All you need to know is it takes cancer forever to fall in love.

You're all confusing the infatuation early state with love.

Infatuation is lust and excitement, it isn't love. Women want it to be love because romance is a construct to seduce women.

For men infatuation is admiration and desire. It isn't love. This is why you need to hold your reins and not fall into it.

As a Cancer male, I must ask, are you a troll?

No. I'm a cancer female.

Infatuation does not equal love.

To actually believe lust and all the attention in the beginning equals love is immature thinking.

You need trust and experiences to develop love.

Love takes time.

Backing up after the initial infatuation stage is normal.

"Did I rush it?"

"I made myself vulnerable, now they expect me to be consistent."

Do you not back off after you let it all out?

For fear of being vulnerable?

click to expand

We Cancers must be willing to be vulnerable if we are to grow. More than that, we must be willing to be vulnerable in love. I would rather to have love and lost than to never have loves at all.

Us Cancers are meant to feel the weight of every emotion, because we can survive insurmountable pain.

We must use our fear as anxiety as superpowers to grow, not hide from them. It's easier to take risks when you know you can survive anything.

Would you rather hide in your shell and from your life or merely parry the blows that you take in life's amazing and dangerous adventures.

In the end, when we are all on our deathbeds, we will regret the times we were too afraid to love.

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by Shaun1994

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by mattsmum
I have the same experience as you. 3 1/2 years of pulling away, coming back like nothing has happened. Surprised to say you're hurt, confused, rejected and uncared for by his actions, would pull away if you tell him this. It's been constant and I tell myself I've been patient long enough, Feel unloved long enough. Now I am resentful. I used to be loving, attentive, giving, patient with this guy now I feel nothing but hurt, resentment and confusion . I wish he'd change, grow up, be mature and communicate properly. But seems like all Cancer men are like that after reading all the thread here. It's like we are all dating one Cancer guy based on our experiences. Today, I finally ended it. And still it's my fault according to him. But he said he cares for me. More confusion on my part. I think they don't see the efforts we put in the relationship. All they see is themselves and how hurt they are. They only focus on their feelings. But guess what, we have feelings too and we get hurt by their actions. They should man up if they want love and care from us.

Good luck to me and my single life.

This.

I love how everyone is an expert.

And why wouldn't we be? When you have experience... You become....... An expert! Duh.

click to expand

You know just as much about Cancers as you do experts.

Posted by kissmygrits

Posted by Shaun1994

Posted by Arielle83
All you need to know is it takes cancer forever to fall in love.

You're all confusing the infatuation early state with love.

Infatuation is lust and excitement, it isn't love. Women want it to be love because romance is a construct to seduce women.

For men infatuation is admiration and desire. It isn't love. This is why you need to hold your reins and not fall into it.

As a Cancer male, I must ask, are you a troll?

No she's a cancer whose dropping knowledge on these poor clueless souls. I look back to see if you gave any good advice.

click to expand

A Cancer.

-A- singular Cancer who is attempting to speak for us all

She is doing a poor job. Everyone is different. Everyone is on different stages of their journeys.

Posted by Shaun1994

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by Shaun1994

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by mattsmum
I have the same experience as you. 3 1/2 years of pulling away, coming back like nothing has happened. Surprised to say you're hurt, confused, rejected and uncared for by his actions, would pull away if you tell him this. It's been constant and I tell myself I've been patient long enough, Feel unloved long enough. Now I am resentful. I used to be loving, attentive, giving, patient with this guy now I feel nothing but hurt, resentment and confusion . I wish he'd change, grow up, be mature and communicate properly. But seems like all Cancer men are like that after reading all the thread here. It's like we are all dating one Cancer guy based on our experiences. Today, I finally ended it. And still it's my fault according to him. But he said he cares for me. More confusion on my part. I think they don't see the efforts we put in the relationship. All they see is themselves and how hurt they are. They only focus on their feelings. But guess what, we have feelings too and we get hurt by their actions. They should man up if they want love and care from us.

Good luck to me and my single life.

This.

I love how everyone is an expert.

And why wouldn't we be? When you have experience... You become....... An expert! Duh.

You know just as much about Cancers as you do experts.

click to expand

Do you know what the word etymology means? Look it up, then maybe you'll get my point there guy. Also chill out... Stop assuming what you don't know....

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by Shaun1994

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by Shaun1994

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by mattsmum
I have the same experience as you. 3 1/2 years of pulling away, coming back like nothing has happened. Surprised to say you're hurt, confused, rejected and uncared for by his actions, would pull away if you tell him this. It's been constant and I tell myself I've been patient long enough, Feel unloved long enough. Now I am resentful. I used to be loving, attentive, giving, patient with this guy now I feel nothing but hurt, resentment and confusion . I wish he'd change, grow up, be mature and communicate properly. But seems like all Cancer men are like that after reading all the thread here. It's like we are all dating one Cancer guy based on our experiences. Today, I finally ended it. And still it's my fault according to him. But he said he cares for me. More confusion on my part. I think they don't see the efforts we put in the relationship. All they see is themselves and how hurt they are. They only focus on their feelings. But guess what, we have feelings too and we get hurt by their actions. They should man up if they want love and care from us.

Good luck to me and my single life.

This.

I love how everyone is an expert.

And why wouldn't we be? When you have experience... You become....... An expert! Duh.

You know just as much about Cancers as you do experts.

Do you know what the word etymology means? Look it up, then maybe you'll get my point there guy. Also chill out... Stop assuming what you don't know....

click to expand

Say the last sentence to yourself in the mirror 😉

Posted by Shaun1994

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by Shaun1994

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by Shaun1994

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by mattsmum
I have the same experience as you. 3 1/2 years of pulling away, coming back like nothing has happened. Surprised to say you're hurt, confused, rejected and uncared for by his actions, would pull away if you tell him this. It's been constant and I tell myself I've been patient long enough, Feel unloved long enough. Now I am resentful. I used to be loving, attentive, giving, patient with this guy now I feel nothing but hurt, resentment and confusion . I wish he'd change, grow up, be mature and communicate properly. But seems like all Cancer men are like that after reading all the thread here. It's like we are all dating one Cancer guy based on our experiences. Today, I finally ended it. And still it's my fault according to him. But he said he cares for me. More confusion on my part. I think they don't see the efforts we put in the relationship. All they see is themselves and how hurt they are. They only focus on their feelings. But guess what, we have feelings too and we get hurt by their actions. They should man up if they want love and care from us.

Good luck to me and my single life.

This.

I love how everyone is an expert.

And why wouldn't we be? When you have experience... You become....... An expert! Duh.

You know just as much about Cancers as you do experts.

Do you know what the word etymology means? Look it up, then maybe you'll get my point there guy. Also chill out... Stop assuming what you don't know....

Say the last sentence to yourself in the mirror 😉

click to expand

Well I was trying to be eloquent but that time has passed. Fuck off troll.

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by Shaun1994

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by Shaun1994

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by Shaun1994

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by mattsmum
I have the same experience as you. 3 1/2 years of pulling away, coming back like nothing has happened. Surprised to say you're hurt, confused, rejected and uncared for by his actions, would pull away if you tell him this. It's been constant and I tell myself I've been patient long enough, Feel unloved long enough. Now I am resentful. I used to be loving, attentive, giving, patient with this guy now I feel nothing but hurt, resentment and confusion . I wish he'd change, grow up, be mature and communicate properly. But seems like all Cancer men are like that after reading all the thread here. It's like we are all dating one Cancer guy based on our experiences. Today, I finally ended it. And still it's my fault according to him. But he said he cares for me. More confusion on my part. I think they don't see the efforts we put in the relationship. All they see is themselves and how hurt they are. They only focus on their feelings. But guess what, we have feelings too and we get hurt by their actions. They should man up if they want love and care from us.

Good luck to me and my single life.

This.

I love how everyone is an expert.

And why wouldn't we be? When you have experience... You become....... An expert! Duh.

You know just as much about Cancers as you do experts.

Do you know what the word etymology means? Look it up, then maybe you'll get my point there guy. Also chill out... Stop assuming what you don't know....

Say the last sentence to yourself in the mirror 😉

Well I was trying to be eloquent but that time has passed. Fuck off troll.

click to expand

The time passed before you thought you were being eloquent.

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Shaun1994

Posted by kissmygrits

Posted by Shaun1994

Posted by Arielle83
All you need to know is it takes cancer forever to fall in love.

You're all confusing the infatuation early state with love.

Infatuation is lust and excitement, it isn't love. Women want it to be love because romance is a construct to seduce women.

For men infatuation is admiration and desire. It isn't love. This is why you need to hold your reins and not fall into it.

As a Cancer male, I must ask, are you a troll?

No she's a cancer whose dropping knowledge on these poor clueless souls. I look back to see if you gave any good advice.

A Cancer.

-A- singular Cancer who is attempting to speak for us all

She is doing a poor job. Everyone is different. Everyone is on different stages of their journeys.

Maybe you can enlighten us on what it's like to be infatuated with someone you can't have?

click to expand

My dear, I just went/am going through it. And I know that is how deeply I fall in love. The pain I feel is a testament to how much I care. And damnit, I'll care this much over and over again. Because if I don't, I don't only block out a certain measure of pain, but an equal measure of joy as well.

Yeah, I agree that if you try and block out pain you also block out joy.

I think this is why the whole thing makes me sad.

yo have to love fearlessly I think. Otherwise you screw it up.

Posted by Shaun1994

Posted by kissmygrits

Posted by Shaun1994

Posted by Arielle83
All you need to know is it takes cancer forever to fall in love.

You're all confusing the infatuation early state with love.

Infatuation is lust and excitement, it isn't love. Women want it to be love because romance is a construct to seduce women.

For men infatuation is admiration and desire. It isn't love. This is why you need to hold your reins and not fall into it.

As a Cancer male, I must ask, are you a troll?

No she's a cancer whose dropping knowledge on these poor clueless souls. I look back to see if you gave any good advice.

A Cancer.

-A- singular Cancer who is attempting to speak for us all

She is doing a poor job. Everyone is different. Everyone is on different stages of their journeys.

click to expand

And what are you doing? Exactly. It's all advice not gospel. Chill.

Posted by MondayMorning
Yeah, I agree that if you try and block out pain you also block out joy.

I think this is why the whole thing makes me sad.

yo have to love fearlessly I think. Otherwise you screw it up.

In the end, there are no right answers to your situation.

You shall do what you will do, learn from it and....this:

http://quotesjunk.com/life-quotes-the-beauty-of-life-is-while-we-cannot-undo-what-is-done/

[

Posted by kissmygrits

Posted by Shaun1994

Posted by kissmygrits

Posted by Shaun1994

Posted by Arielle83
All you need to know is it takes cancer forever to fall in love.

You're all confusing the infatuation early state with love.

Infatuation is lust and excitement, it isn't love. Women want it to be love because romance is a construct to seduce women.

For men infatuation is admiration and desire. It isn't love. This is why you need to hold your reins and not fall into it.

As a Cancer male, I must ask, are you a troll?

No she's a cancer whose dropping knowledge on these poor clueless souls. I look back to see if you gave any good advice.

A Cancer.

-A- singular Cancer who is attempting to speak for us all

She is doing a poor job. Everyone is different. Everyone is on different stages of their journeys.

And what are you doing? Exactly. It's all advice not gospel. Chill.

click to expand

I'm quite chill. And any advice worth salt should still apply after its faced of my scrutiny.

He sounds insecure and the imagination is running wild, from the fear of losing you. He kinda sounds like me if I was in a relationship. lol