Not meant to be..?

My cancer infatuation and I have met online about 3 months ago. Ever since we were messaging each other every day, and finally decided to meet two months ago, after returning from our summer holidays. Him and I live in different cities and he came to visit me in mine that day. We strolled through town and sat down at a cute bench once we got tired and drank wine and chatted away. It was so much fun. Later on the night he suddenly decided to go back home, which made me really disappointed. I wasn't used to guys not wanting to stay over. We didn't even kiss, which left me puzzled and upset. I deleted his number and decided to forget about him since he was impossible for me to read. We still had each other on Facebook though, so if couldn't resist sending him a message a couple of days later. He seemed eager to hear from me and was up for meeting again. We're both quite busy so it took us two weeks to set up another date. He didn't seem in a rush, which I found weird but I just went along with it. The second date was amazing and he took me out all night, payed for everything and even introduced me to some friends. We had the best of fun and when we returned to his at 6 am we were listening to music when he slowly went in for our first kiss. It was fireworks and we made out for hours. Then he just held me in his arms all night/day as we fell asleep together. I felt so safe in his arms and felt like he really cared by the way he held me and looked at me. The next day he told me he enjoyed it a lot and we set up a movie date for two weeks after. Two weeks later he had fraternity engagements so we had to postpone. The week after uni started so we had to postpone again, and then he didn't feel well so we eventually only met like 3/4 weeks after the second date. In the meantime we were messaging everyday but usually when I initiated conversation. Then he would be happy to hear from me and send me lots of pictures and funny things. I just thought he's shy and needs reassurance so I kept initiating. On our third date we were going to watch a movie at his. I was very shy with him this time round, and he seemed shy to. Just to shy to talk and is at first we just focused on the movie. It took us like an hour to feel comfortable kissing each other again. Also conversation was less than on our second date because we didn't drink much. And drinking really helped loosening up around each other on our second date. Eventually we were making out passionately and went a bit fu

Eventually we were making out passionately and went a bit further than last time but didn't have sex. I stayed over but he didn't hold me as much as last time. The next morning I told him see you next time, but I'm leaving it up to you. He just wished me a nice day. I could tell he wasn't just into me for sex but he was so difficult to read and distant at times. I was hoping to realize what his feelings were on our third date but it still left me clueless. Whenever I don't initiate conversation he doesn't either. I left it for a couple of days but then decided to be upfront so I texted him that I fancy him but have the feeling that we want different things. That I want to get to know him better and do fun things and that if he wants the same he should initiate more often. He replied that he liked the way things were going but didn't have the urge to initiate more. When I asked him what his goal with me was and if he just wanted me for sex he said that he just wanted to hang out and do fun things and make out and stuff. That he didn't use me for sex because he could get that anywhere, that he doesn't have to go on dates to have sex. I told him I don't understand how he can like me for more than sex but still not feel like initiating and such. He says he doesn't understand himself but that he's just not really in the mood for dating at the moment, that he's difficult that way. That he thinks he wouldn't be able to have feelings for anyone at the moment. I suggested to meet in a couple of weeks and see how that goes, and take it from there. He told me yes, but only if he'll be feeling better by then. I feel like he cares but pushes me away. Is this worth it, and can cancers be confused like this when they like someone ? Or should I just forget about him?

He's just not that into you... Sorry. Maybe upon you two originally meeting he expected something different. Cancer men treat you the way you show them you want to be treated in the beginning. If sitting on a bench and drinking wine is what you consider a date, then that's what he'll continue to give you. On the second date when he was introducing you to his friends, did he tell them you were a friend too, or his date?

Sounds like your Cancer man isn't ready for what you want. Seems like he has his own issues he is going thru. He enjoys your company but isn't interested in anything more, like he stated to you already. Take him for his word. Cancer men, when they are not interested in a woman have the potential to lead her on and use her as they see fit. Be careful so that doesn't happen to you. If he was interested you would know trust me, I've been with a few cancer men before and they were head over heels in love with me and did whatever I wanted of them. If they are interested they go all out to impress you and they damn near worship you this is not happening with your cancer man. Best of luck.

He introduced me as his date and seemed really into me (2nd date) but he can be really moody and then he doesn't seem comfortable (3rd date). I just don't get why he would stay in touch with me for so long if he's not into me, and not in it for the sex? He told me he likes going on dates with me, and he doesn't do that with others but that he's just not in the mood for dating atm cause he has other things on his mind (frat, 2 studies and a job)

Btw he's 21

And he said that if he'll be feeling better in a couple of weeks time he agrees to going on a date

Posted by Virgosweetheart87
He introduced me as his date and seemed really into me (2nd date) but he can be really moody and then he doesn't seem comfortable (3rd date). I just don't get why he would stay in touch with me for so long if he's not into me, and not in it for the sex? He told me he likes going on dates with me, and he doesn't do that with others but that he's just not in the mood for dating atm cause he has other things on his mind (frat, 2 studies and a job)

Again, he is giving you all the answers you need. Just be patient with him. Seems like he has a lot on his plate. He clearly is not interested in dating you right now. Nothing is going to change his mind until he is ready.

Posted by Virgosweetheart87
Btw he's 21

UGH no. 20 year old kid men are just trying to get laid.

Stop trying to read between the lines when he's already been blatant about what he wants. He said it himself. He doesn't want to date. If you want the full potential of a Cancer man's love, with opening up and all, then you can't be this desperate for it like this. He already told you he doesn't want to date yet you push for it or are trying to read in between the lines where there is none. He can't be more clear than that and if you can't take the hint (not even a hint since he told you) then you've doomed yourself from the start. When anyone is desperate it's a turn off and at most you'll get his attention but you'll never get his respect and if you can't get his respect you won't get his love. Leave him alone and if he really wants something with you he will pursue you hard.

When any man is into any woman it's obvious.

In this case it is obvious, obvious that he's just not that into you.

Have some dignity and respect and move on.

Sounds like he doesn't want to date but he also doesn't want to be alone or have zero interactions with women. Maybe he feels that you're pushing him to hard or trying to hard to force a relationship on him. Maybe he does like you but needs to maintain his independence and space. And not every man wants it needs sex from you, and I don't think you should be offended if a man sees you without having sex with you.

Thanks for the replies. I hate that I came across desperate 😢 Is there a way I can make him respect me again?

I'm not offended we haven't had sex, I like it. We have done other things like kiss and such

Posted by CluelessCancer
Do you know how to chill and go with the flow? Let him chase you...

+100

Let him chase you. That mean not initiating contact and not easily giving in when he contacts, because he already knows what you want (it's obvious) and you already know he doesn't want anything serious. So any going back to him is a serious sign of disrespect to you. If he doesn't chase you then let him go. You can't force something thats not meant to be. You will look desperate. And theres no being sly about it he already knows you want him.

I was being ?_ber chill with him for so long, but somewhere along the line him initiating little made me go sad

I haven't contacted him in two days.. Let's see if he eventually makes a move