georgiabull
@georgiabull
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 35 · Topics: 2
Snub him or pursue?
Well, needless to say I didn't hear from him again that day or Tues. He was on dating site Tues, but not since. No response Wed, Thurs. Friday I caved and sent him a text asking him to go out that night. He responded within 5 minutes but said he couldn't..too much going on. (I was not surprised by that, since he told me the week before, that he would be busy Fri getting ready for vacation) Better response than I expected. At least he didn't tell me he wasn't interested. (And, believe me, he didn't spare my feelings, when he dumped me earlier on, for the girls he thought he would hit it off with). I told him to have a great vacation and to send me a picture. He said he would.
Now, it's only been two days that he's been on vacation, but I haven't heard from him. My gut tells me that he is not interested, otherwise, he would have contacted me right away after we met. However, my friend said, quite possibly, he might have been waiting to hear from me, and thought I was not interested, as well.
So, Dear Cancer friends, what's your take on this and the events I described? Think he is just a Shallow Hall? Any chance he'll realize a persons heart is more important than their body (I know there has to be some sense of physical spark, but geez, I'm not talking kids here. He is 50+ yrs old). Just don't know if I should continue to pursue him, or sit back and see where he goes with this. I've read Cancer and Taurus make great couples. We have the same interests, make each other laugh, share the same sexual desires, neither of us hold back when we're mad, and each of us let it roll off our backs easily. I want to spoil him. And he likes it. Don't want to let a good thing slip by. Thanks for your help 🙂
Now, it's only been two days that he's been on vacation, but I haven't heard from him. My gut tells me that he is not interested, otherwise, he would have contacted me right away after we met. However, my friend said, quite possibly, he might have been waiting to hear from me, and thought I was not interested, as well.
So, Dear Cancer friends, what's your take on this and the events I described? Think he is just a Shallow Hall? Any chance he'll realize a persons heart is more important than their body (I know there has to be some sense of physical spark, but geez, I'm not talking kids here. He is 50+ yrs old). Just don't know if I should continue to pursue him, or sit back and see where he goes with this. I've read Cancer and Taurus make great couples. We have the same interests, make each other laugh, share the same sexual desires, neither of us hold back when we're mad, and each of us let it roll off our backs easily. I want to spoil him. And he likes it. Don't want to let a good thing slip by. Thanks for your help 🙂
Thanks Clueless! Yes you are right...I will wait. When I was resisting him, he disappeared twice thinking he found a compatible girl. Didn't pan out and he was back heavily pursing me. If he wants me, he can come and get me... his loss otherwise.
I'm just trying to understand his actions, though, when we met. If he was not attracted to me at all, why give compliments and ask for a hug goodbye after I'm nearly in my car; and answer my text. If I wasn't interested I would've high-tailed it out of there, lol. But since he's not been initiating contact, I guess he was just trying to be nice.
All in all, I contacted him, he knows I'm interested. He can grasp at it or move on. I'm not holding my breath.
I'm just trying to understand his actions, though, when we met. If he was not attracted to me at all, why give compliments and ask for a hug goodbye after I'm nearly in my car; and answer my text. If I wasn't interested I would've high-tailed it out of there, lol. But since he's not been initiating contact, I guess he was just trying to be nice.
All in all, I contacted him, he knows I'm interested. He can grasp at it or move on. I'm not holding my breath.
Posted by Koniucha
Sometimes I get the feeling that if any other sign was behaving this way, it would be unacceptable.
We somehow manage to get away with a lot. 😛
Gergiabull, with him having an issue with your weight AND being rude enough to say something that shallow, I'd pass on that guy. It's his prerogative to like what he likes, or doesn't like, but you deserve to find someone who WANTS you and LOVES you for WHO you are. That should be where the attraction and lust comes from. To have it come from looks alone will leave you feeling lonely and empty, and as we all know, looks change, weight changes, health changes.
This one of those I would say "play it by ear", but keep your options open.
I don't necessarily think he is toying (especially if he's over 50), but I would see how things happen organically.
Your initial meeting seemed to go well, but I couldn't see a clear yes/no clue.
I would also say just keep your initial assessment in the back of your head (shallow Hal) and pull back if it's confirmed.
I don't necessarily think he is toying (especially if he's over 50), but I would see how things happen organically.
Your initial meeting seemed to go well, but I couldn't see a clear yes/no clue.
I would also say just keep your initial assessment in the back of your head (shallow Hal) and pull back if it's confirmed.
Posted by caster721
Move on. He's using u for his emotional validation. He knows u like him. He left u twice when he thought he found the right girl and when he got back u accepted him. U guys talk, chat n all because the cancer - taurus chemistry is usually great but apart from that, he's not interested. Once he gets "that" girl he's looking for, u'll never hear him again.
Thanks for your input C721. But just to clear this up, he never left me. Him and I have had a 3 1/2 month text/phone relationship, with last week being our first meeting. He is on a dating site to date..that's what he should be doing, and is. I respect that he told me when he thought things would progress between him and another. Just didn't feel too good, lol. Can't complain, I had ample opportunity to go on dates with him. He's asked over, over, and over even after we'd discussed my weight. But you are dead on with the Cancer/Taurus chemistry...we definitely have it!
Posted by aquavita
Caster!! this man is 50 plus 😄 he is not under 30 like u same goes for clueless, i assume lady is in her 40 s? At that age ( sorry).. a lot of things change such as outlook on looks... It is not so important any more if it ever was. I also see the whole story as a positive one. I think after the vacation which he ll be testing to see if she s desperate so of course no contact then when he comes back if he contacts her: YES go!!! the cancer lover i had did not enjoy the weight of his girl but he is marrying her and his love growing stronger. and she is a monster( mental) but he does not see it yet.. if he sees that he will not marry her. SHe is leo/virgo. Plays the game very well. ( sorry leo/virgos ).
Thanks Aquavita for the encouraging words! And for focusing on the whole scenario. Yes, I am in my late 40's. I do think, though, that after meeting last week he would be blowing up my phone if 100% interested. I contacted him once. He knows I'm interested. Now I will sit back and wait. He is growing tired of dating and weeding through the many non-compatible women. Even if he continues his search, I have a feeling he will be back after realizing a hot babe with a crazy/bad/gold-digging personality can't hold a candle to me. Yes I'm overweight, but very pretty, have a great career, and a loving, loyal heart. I'm confident in what I have to offer. If he doesn't grasp it someone else will. Lol, but I hope he does!
Posted by aquavita
p.s. i am a sag female adoring all cancer men and fond of all cancer females so taurus lady hope more cancers take part sure they will but i think the main developments will be after vacation. be prepared for harsh mouth 🙂 i love that. sincere and sarcastic cancers. very logical and so deep in their emotions.
Posted by georgiabullPosted by aquavita
p.s. i am a sag female adoring all cancer men and fond of all cancer females so taurus lady hope more cancers take part sure they will but i think the main developments will be after vacation. be prepared for harsh mouth 🙂 i love that. sincere and sarcastic cancers. very logical and so deep in their emotions.
Posted by georgiabullPosted by CancerOnTheCusp
This one of those I would say "play it by ear", but keep your options open.
I don't necessarily think he is toying (especially if he's over 50), but I would see how things happen organically.
Your initial meeting seemed to go well, but I couldn't see a clear yes/no clue.
I would also say just keep your initial assessment in the back of your head (shallow Hal) and pull back if it's confirmed.
Thank you Cusp! I agree with all your points and appreciate your advice! I'm ,at all, a fan of these grey areas...too anxiety provoking 😉click to expand
Oops! I'm NOT, at all, a fan 🙂
Posted by aquavitaPosted by MoonArtist
Gergiabull, with him having an issue with your weight AND being rude enough to say something that shallow, I'd pass on that guy. It's his prerogative to like what he likes, or doesn't like, but you deserve to find someone who WANTS you and LOVES you for WHO you are. That should be where the attraction and lust comes from. To have it come from looks alone will leave you feeling lonely and empty, and as we all know, looks change, weight changes, health changes.
hey he s just TEASING her ! Moonartist. i bet he likes her. it s just a beginning! there are men who compliment in the beginning just to get a woman in bed. i prefer the approach described here. plus she is already being pursued by him, she is not easy to get.click to expand
@MoonArtist - Thanks for having my back! Lol, yes his comment was very rude and smoke came out of my Taurus nose! But, what he said was a general comment and not necessarily directed at me. At the time, he didn't know I struggled with weight and had not seen a full body picture. This occurred very early in our conversations and I don't blame him for his opinions/likes. To be honest, I don't like my weight either. However, I told him off and let him know he should move on. But he resisted. He apologized, asked if I could forgive/forget, said I was very pretty, and that he liked me enough to still meet. Of course, I made it hard on him for a while and turned down numerous dates. He has been after me for 3 1/2 months and I finally just agreed to meet him last week. And, again thank you, I won't settle...getting too old for games. Don't need a man, but to have one to share things with would be nice. 🙂
@aquavita - Told him flat out if he's looking for a hook-up to keep on looking. Told him I wouldn't sleep with him right away, even if it killed me, lol! I do know other women have. And guess what? I'm the one he keeps coming to. The others are history!
Posted by aquavita
and also: if he sincerely would prefer for her to be thinner, but otherwise LIKES her! this would be a motivation for her to lose some weight! as she also appears to want that. i see nothing really negative so far... it s an issue if he makes her feel uncomfortable. but she mentions their sexual desires MATCH their interests MATCH they have good time and "laughs". i d enjoy.
I used to hate working-out and a few times asked my ex to go with me and help me get started. He never would or did. Hurt me really bad. I've since learned to like the gym and depend on myself. Some health issues have kept me from being there, though, the last 9months. And, if I don't exercise I will gain weight like a sponge holds water. Doesn't even matter what I'm eating. Anyway, where I'm going with this is, I asked Cancer man what would he do if I needed his support in the gym? (which btw, he hates, and lucky for him has a good metabolism) He said he'd be right there by my side! He scored major points and gained tons of respect from me that day! I just hope after meeting in person that his view isn't skewed. Won't be the end of the world...it's just we have so much fun. It came so natural that I have a gut feeling we'd be soooo good for each other. Oh, well. It is what it is. Just have to wait and see. Hate this part.
Posted by aquavita
btw... Caster is a great man, a cancer male rep. I think in your case the main point is you seem to be compatible on most important levels u sound like a catch... ! megan fox is taurus rocking a cancer male. lucky are those who get a cancer rep ... 😄
I'm sure Caster is a great cancer man! I want true opinions and advice, not a sugar coating. 🙂 And, appreciate all responses. I truly know what I need to do, but, its nice to have somewhere to come for encouragement or a kick in the butt when I need it. For a patient person, I'm not very patient. Or maybe its just that I don't let my mind rest...I want to know what my potential cancer man is thinking now. Grrrrr
Posted by CluelessCancer
Let the man pursue, he was rude bringing up your weight, but we can be blunt about things like that, he must have a virgo mars, lol
LMMFAO LOL 🙂
I love you post CC. Very true if mars is in gemini too haha
Posted by aquavita
I think in your case the main point is you seem to be compatible on most important levels u sound like a catch... ! megan fox is taurus rocking a cancer male. lucky are those who get a cancer rep ... 😄
Thank you for the compliment AquaV! Had to look up who Megan Fox's cancer male. Wow, B.A.Green, haven't seen him since he grew up! Yum, num, num, lol! 😛
TAUrus patient,lol yeah right. Get on a taurus last nerves, ITS see red. Regarding the weight thing. i think dats an issue prevalent with a lot of taruses. THEY LOVE food even in excess. But get them on excercise they can do it but they can get demotivated. But we will motivate you to the point you will be sexier than nikki minaj(dammmmnnn dat ass mm mm mmm) Taurus and cancer always wanna sex each other and make babies,lol. As for loyalty... once you loyal to him we be loyal to you. Yall test us in soooooo many ways yet you search for that guy that cant measure up.Meh
Posted by ReddmannScorch
TAUrus patient,lol yeah right. Get on a taurus last nerves, ITS see red. Regarding the weight thing. i think dats an issue prevalent with a lot of taruses. THEY LOVE food even in excess. But get them on excercise they can do it but they can get demotivated. But we will motivate you to the point you will be sexier than nikki minaj(dammmmnnn dat ass mm mm mmm) Taurus and cancer always wanna sex each other and make babies,lol. As for loyalty... once you loyal to him we be loyal to you. Yall test us in soooooo many ways yet you search for that guy that cant measure up.Meh
Hey Scorch! Your comments made me chuckle, thanks. I do consider myself pretty patient, or maybe tolerant is a better word, but depends on the situation. Push too far, take advantage of me, talk behind my back, or break my trust, and you are absolutely right, my bull will charge! Any thoughts on whether I should contact this guy if I don't hear from him? Since he does like me, but is not thrilled with my weight, I was wondering if showing him my sweet, romantic side might sway him? Maybe surprise him with lunch or invite him to dinner!? IDK, don't want to seem desperate either. Meh, forget it....lol, but I can't help thinking if we start to hang out he will fall head over heels, and vice versa. You are right. I'm not patient. I hate this waiting. 😉
i'd pay more attention to the men's answers. 2 of them told you he's interested in getting emotional validation, one "to play it by the ear"...
secondly, i'd pay attention to my gut feelings. they are never wrong.
50y.o. isn't a guaratee as far as dating/relationship skills are concerned [especially if he has a non-committing history]
my opinion...you've got yourself with a nice "online friend"...trying/waiting for this to turn into a "boyfriend thing"...very hard work. it's up to you if you put yourself out there for all this work...just don't get fixated[which is hard for women to do]
waiting...very tricky thing...we admit it or not it builds anticipation, even attachment...so, make a decision as soon as possible for the sake of your mental balance...
good luck
secondly, i'd pay attention to my gut feelings. they are never wrong.
50y.o. isn't a guaratee as far as dating/relationship skills are concerned [especially if he has a non-committing history]
my opinion...you've got yourself with a nice "online friend"...trying/waiting for this to turn into a "boyfriend thing"...very hard work. it's up to you if you put yourself out there for all this work...just don't get fixated[which is hard for women to do]
waiting...very tricky thing...we admit it or not it builds anticipation, even attachment...so, make a decision as soon as possible for the sake of your mental balance...
good luck
i'm immortal
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