Who do I believe?

The other day I had found out that my hours at work were being cut I went to my boss to see what was going on with my hours because of my apparent attitude I show at work sometimes during stress hours. I was told complaints came from all parts of the restaurant: management, dine-in, kitchen, and my own cooworkers that I work in such close proximity with.

I started to ask around and only one person came to my rescue, yeah you guess it cancer. Well lately she had been going back into her shell and once she does that I usually find someone else to go to. So this time I went another coworker of mine, X. Cancer told me that X probably the one who told on me in the first place.

So then I approach X and ask her if she knew anything about this and she denied it.

I'm finding it hard to believe anyone these days.

Believe your gut....who does it say told on u?

I would go with my gut if it was that easy..
I remember once I was telling cancer a joke and she reacted with , "Did you tell X, that joke too?". So part of my gut is saying she kind of jealous, so what can I do?

i need more background story....r u trying to hook up with cancer?

Well, I had several threads on it but basically the typical cancer: The mixed signals, the withdrawals, being indirect and especially being jealous. Yes, I am trying to hook up with her but we've been playing these games for months now. Lately she's been doing this to piss me on purpose probably because I haven't been picking up on the clues she's been putting out. I had called her on one of her bs trying to piss me off things and she totally just stared at me blankly.

She's done the jealous this many times.. I was talking to this other girl asking her what so and so meant in a book, once cancer saw this she came and squished herself between us grabbed the book and tried to show me what it meant.

But this time I can't tell if she tried to tell on X because was jealous or she was trying to genuinley help me out.

hmmmm.....i'm going to take a guess here

cancer may think u like X and is jealous or just simply does not like X. it is possible that she threw her name out there because she wants u to dislike her as well. i dont think she really knows who told.

seems like she does like u. do u like X at all? if not, then pay more attention to cancer. flirt with her. see where that takes u. if she flirts back and there is positive response, ask her out on a date. i mean, i just look at it from the basics of dating.

i made the move on my cancer guy. i used to work with him at an old job. a few coworkers went out for drinks one night and i flirted with him and he responded. and then i took it from there, i let him know that i was checking him out and then i let him act on it. thats the only way u will know.

I wish it were as easy as asking her out.. she's just never been in a relationship before. But I know for sure that she likes me but I only started to read these boards once she started to send mix signals.

I don't have a thing for X at all. When I'm in a relationship I will give everything to my partner I think, hanging out with X is just hanging out with X and I do sense a hint of jealousy like she has before. She's always looking at me during random times too, I think I'm feeling the pull cancers and scorps feel but I can't be so wrong.

I don't think she knows who told either when she had straight out told me it was X. Now I'm feeling rotten when I even talk to X but I don't want to totally push X away because of cancers jealousy. I'm really not sure how to act right now, So lately I've just been pushing both cancer and X away.

Your cancer did not at all feel insecure or pulled away? Why is mine being so difficult, you seem to just got yours so easily. :p

my suggestion would be when you are talking to "X" and cancer comes into the room/area bring her into the conversation somehow - and be more tneder with her, soften your voice when you speak to HER,\ [within the same conversation as X] that way she will see the difference between the way you act with her and with X - she will start to see that X is only a friend and not feel so threatened by her.

Ha...it wasnt easy. u have to know how to make them feel comfortable. it really does take patience.

as far as the cancer-scorp connection comment u just made...lol don't go there sweetie.

just because u flirt with her or ask her out does not mean u are in a relationship. take it slow...very slow. but i don't know how cancer females are, maybe they can help u here. my cancer loved the fact that i flirted with him and took that chance. we still talk about that night it all started and how amazing it was!

When u talk to X, is it work related or personal topics? i agree with xangel, when u speak to cancer, speak to her differently than u speak to X and make it very distinct. lol, the more and more i think about this, cancer really is not liking X, and most likely its because u talk to her.

if u dont mind, how old are u Crude and are u a libra?

cancer women CAN be like that - I have to very close female friends who I consider my best friends - neither of them have met but I mention them both to each other - one is a scorpio and the other a cancer [the scorpio is MY "mr. cancer" 's sister] the scorpio asked me once "do you love anna more than me?" then she said"never mind don't answer that" - but the cancer never asked anything like that - when I told her about what was going on with my cancer she said "his sister knew all along - trust me, she's lying to you" I kept telling her that I've known his sister for years and I trust her and I know she doesn't lie to me - that REALLY made her angry.....yes cancer women can be VERY jealous...... and I'm only talking about my friends - I can't imagine what this girl must be feeling !
but yes - they definately pick up on subtlties and if your voice is different with her - softer, lower, more tender - she will definately notice, and if you do this while having a conversation with both of them - even though X may not notice it - cancer will secretly believe that you are making it clear to X that she [cancer] is special and X is not.

you are a pisces.....you would be suspicious of anything

Oh I went there, I'm staying there too. I definately feel something if not the cancer/scorpio pull.. I am libra but have quite alot of scorpio in my charts. Now, afer everything I do, I have to speak differently? What is this rocket science where every little thing counts? Forgive me if I sound a bit frustrated, its early in the morning and I'm grumpy but I have to see her today and I'm not sure I'm in the mood to do this all for her because I'm not sure I'm getting anything in return. At least lately I haven't she's in the shell right now, I think.

I really think I've done enough for this cancer in ways that I've made it SO obvious that I'm really interested in her and for someone who is known to put out the smallest hints should be able to pick up on -my- hints I'm throwing out there. I thought by now she'd feel at least a tiny bit more special! Its not making sense anymore...!

I think the most frustrating thing is what angelfish said about them getting jealous, as easily as that, is that they'll act like they don't give a f*** about you then act all jealous once you've turned away from them for one second.

FYI, I'm 20 and she's 24.

Crudemood,

i cannot speak on behalf of a cancer woman, but she does seem to be jealous, and why would someone be jealous if they didnt like u. she's got her guard up. she doesnt want u talking to X, it makes her mad, but she's also not ready to let u in. u gotta work for that.

its going to take a lot of hard work to get her to open up and trust u. question is, are u willing to put in all that work? and u gotta figure out how to get her to open up on ur own.

i read this cute quote "sometimes people put up walls to see who really cares enough to tear them down" hmph

Lady Scorp is on to something here. I definately agree that it sounds like jealousy to me.

A cancer guy friend of mine will always ask me who is going to be there where I'm going or who I'm going with. If I start out the sentence with Susie (name changed to protect the innocent or guilty, which ever way you want to look at it.) and I are going to (insert place name here), he'll still ask. He is trying to find out what guys will be there. The boldest he's ever gotten is to ask me point blank if (insert guys name here) is going with me. He seriously gets vague if I ask him the same thing though. Hmmm... double standard?

I'm always thinking, "What! Are you serious?! He doesn't even hold a candle to you," when he asks but I can't say that because then I would be accusing him of being jealous and he'd be mad. I just reply honestly and then give him the update on what happened so he knows that there is nothing to worry about without me actually having to call him on it. Honestly, maybe because I'm a scorpio and I get the whole jealousy thing, it doesn't bother me. I feel like he must really care if he is that worried about it. Now crazy rabbit in the pot, stalker-type jealousy - that would be a problem, but this guy isn't like that.

libra's....you think everything in life should be fair...well yes - it SHOULD be....but it's not
and if you are not able to accept the fact you DO have to do more for her and work harder - then it will not work out between you anyway.
I can only tell you this - it takes a VERY long time and a LOT of effort to gain a cancers trust - yes even to a point of being unreasonable....BUT....if you can hang in there I promise you she will make it worth your while.

katica - I know all about the pisces susp[icous nature... my last boyfriend was a pisces....he was SO paranoid he had hiddne cameras in his apartment because he thought the super was going into his apartment while he was out and stealing things..... he even left a camera running the first time he left ME alone in his apartment ! I'm sure you're not all THAT bad....but yes- pisces are suspicious people.

Yeah, I suspected she might have been jealous but I didnt want to jump to conclusions. This hasn't been the first sign of jealousy coming from her.

I must have been playing the oblivious card really well now that I look back she's been laying it out big time.

But lately she's been doing things to piss me off on purpose but that shouldn' suggest I just stood there and took the hits, oh no not me. As soon as I bit back she'd quiet down and right at the moment I realized she knew exactly what she was doing but it took me a while to figure out why she was going it. They resort to really harsh tactics when they haven't got their way, I guess this is a natural reaction when they felt that they've been hurt.

One morning I had come in and I approached her we hardly exchanged words when she walked away in the middle of our moment leaving me confused. Only a few days before she had shown me her soft side thats he same she made it clear that she wasn't okay with me talking to X. I think I mentioned to her that I had tried to call her and told her 'its like you vanish off the face of the earth on the weekeends' and on break she added minutes to her phone and not until now I know why she did that. I think you all know why too but like I said I was totally unaware and caught off guard. Which leads me to why she's angry at me right now. For a second I was confused but I'm back on track.

I do think at one point, or on several occasions, she had let her guard down. It was totally all in her voice, she has this soothing voice that just calms me down. But I have to say its also in her eyes, just not lately. I hope she hasn't let go of me yet but they aren't ones to let go so easily yeah?

so what are u going to do Crudemood?

Definately not rushing anything. But I'm usually one to go with the flow, it depends on her mood each day, if she comes out of her shell I'll reciprocate if not well I'll wait. Maybe work on picking up on her clues LOL. She's worth it, I know she is.

"They resort to really harsh tactics when they haven't got their way, I guess this is a natural reaction when they felt that they've been hurt."

yes - it's also how they try to keep from getting hurt.

"yes - it's also how they try to keep from getting hurt."

lol, oh predictable =P

cancerian logic is "you're probably going to hurt me in the end so I might aswell get rid of you now....on the other hand, if you can take all the crap I give you and still keep trying.....I guess I can trust you...."

xangelfishx, so true. yes we will use every tactic to get you away from us for fear of being hurt but if you persevere you score high points. but most people can't take that much suffering so they usually give up on us..lol.

How do they expect you to keep chasing them after they push you away?
I believe when my cancer said to me "Yeah, I do want to be left alone, forever." I took that as a sign of she's not interested. Funny thing is once I pretended to lose interest in her she came back around as if she forgot what she said to me about leaving her alone! Geez.
Not only that she also said that she had taken her two week vacation off work because of another guy (how shocked was I?) and not that I should neccesarily leave her alone but I should stop leaving her messages where everyone can see.

Talk about mixed signals. Well I think I know what to do next. I have one more trick up my sleeve and if that doesn't work well, I'll have to figure something else out 🙂

"xangelfishx, so true. yes we will use every tactic to get you away from us for fear of being hurt but if you persevere you score high points. but most people can't take that much suffering so they usually give up on us..lol"

not me - I'm a stubborn bull remember? when I see something I want I don't give up until I get it ;0)

"I believe when my cancer said to me "Yeah, I do want to be left alone, forever." I took that as a sign of she's not interested"

no no no no no............. she wanted you to tell her how important she is and that you could NEVER leave her alone....that you NEED her.....

how can they expect you to keep trying when they push you away ? well.....again "cancerian logic"....... people get fed up over stupid things after they've invested all their time, energy, and emotion into a relationship....cancers avoid that by only giving their trust to someone who proves they can handle pretty much anything....after all - if you can take all the crap she's giving you now - you're not likely to get annoyed at something like she cries every time she sees a baby or because she cut her hair and you prefer long hair - get it now ? if you hang through the tough stuff NOW - she can trust you to stick around if things get a little rough when she's already given her heart to you.