I'm breaking up

LOL!! Goodluck!!

Yeah,
I am talking U out of it 2. Y give up on him? I would not stick around while he is acting like this, but I would respect his desire 4 space. I am direct so I say direct things. Y R U being insecure because he wants space? Respect this! This is his private time. Time 2 get his thoughts together. Time 4 him 2 think about what he needs 2 do 4 him and U R worried about U. U not getting attention. Y don't U look at it in a positive way. U R his girl, he probably already thinks the worst! U R the 1 who is suppose 2 make the negative situation into a positive one. Love is not a selfish act, love is a free spirit. Let go. If it is meant 2 B, it will B. It is no force in this world 2 stop what God has in store 4 U so Y fight it. Just move on with your life, but don't give up! If it is meant 2 B, it will B. If U focus on yourself, in time U might not lose the time U R complaining about. U cannot force love, manipulate it. It is free, it comes as goes as it pleases. U have 2 have STRENGTH, strength is built from self confidence. Let him go if he wants. He will pick up on your level of confidence and realize that U R a strong woman. Something he probably needs in his life. However, if U appear weak, and walk away just because of your own selfish desires. Then U might miss out on something that could have been good 4 U.

They always come back,lol . for sweet delicious cancer mmmmmm scrumptous wanna taste some crab meat,lol. If not i got some bbq baby back ribs. where VENUS lady u lookin goood these days in mY MINDs eye. mmm mmm mm

Ummmm be extremely careful when u do that ladyscorp. Once u do that yes we are giving from our hearts but if you hurt us you would not like it. Believe that.

Lady Scorp,

Take some time 2 listen 2 me. I am direct however, I don't mean or want 2 hurt your feelings just look at this perspective from what I am gathering OK? No harm just insight.

U R more worried about U and what U want. Your needs, your desires, your wants. U, U, U. Do U not think that this is the reason Y he is acting like this? Do U not think that he has picked up on this U attitude and that he is giving U some time 2 get U together. Relationships R not just based on what U want, what U desire, what U need. U R 2 high maintanence. It will B much more easier 4 him 2 find someone else that desires not what HE wants but what WE want. WE, not me, me, me. I want attention, I want sex, I want this trip paid off my credit card. That is just 2 much pressure 2 put on a man. 2 much! I bet he will probably just move on before U cost him anything else out of his pocket! HE can sense this weakness that U have and that is probably Y he is off in the moonlight!

Most men that want a commitment R looking 4 a us, we relationship. Someone they can share with, create with, build a future with. Become as 1 unit with. U need 2 focus more on yourself and open up your eyes. The more U talk about U the more he is going 2 resist hiself right out of your life.

Krobe be on it...daayuuuuuuuuum LOL!!

I am not going 2 crucify U, however, he is sorry! U may not show it 2 him, however, he may have sensed this sort of behavior out of you through other actions. Like U saying that he is going 2 pay? Y? Pay 4 U because he wants some space? Love is not based on what a person can and cannot do 4 U. It is a learning experience. If you have a wishlist now, U have probably had a wishlist before he turned so distant. No relationships R not based on what HE wants either, it is based on what both of yall want and right now, he wants some space. Not U breaking it off because U R not getting attention or getting your needs met. U say U R venting 2 us, however, I am not trying 2 crucify U. Just pointing out that your feelings R directed out on what U want. U R not venting anything on what HE wants which is space. However, U R stating that HE is gonna PAY because HE wants space. No matter how much talking in this world U R going 2 do, there will NEVER B a word on the face of this earth that will make him commit 2 U, until it is time.

Oh yeah I guess I forgot that relationships are not about what I want, its about what HE wants. Haha...I wish I was high maintenance, all I want is time with my guy...crucify me for being so selfish

But what you don't understand is that emotional creatures like Cancers give so much of themselves not just to you but to anything they feel passionate about and he's drained, he needs this time to reflect and regain his emotional strength, people tend to be takers and never give half as much back, (not indicating your this way)he's depleted and your witnessing this, I don't know if this is something that can be regimented but I do feel that Cancers need a way to release and going into his shell is the way he deals with life.

maybe one day you will get an invitation to join him (:

let me add more to the pot..what you have pointed out is why i am saying to move on, at least a little. you are more worried about him snapping back to the way things were when in reality even if he snaps back things will never be the way things were. even if he were to come around you will always have this insecurity that he might fall back into the pattern he just go out of. i am all for sticking with a partner and working issues out but that is only if they let you. you are sitting on the sidelines waiting for him to come around when in fact he will not change or fix things within himself until he is ready. that is true for most people and not just cancers. one thing i learned with my exvirgo is you can't help someone if they don't want to help themselves!

Krobe, how would u feel if one day your guy was to call u up and say "i just wanted to call u to tell u how much I love u and how much fun I have with you, and how much of a great summer we are going to have together" And talks to me about everything. And then 1 week later, he completely closes up and won't open up for nuttin. Just this sudden behavior out of the blue.

It hurts and it breaks my heart. And he acknowledges that this isnt fair to me. And I'm the selfish one, are u kidding me?

Dam girl, I wish my man would give me some space! LOL! I have been with my man 4 10.6 years and yeah, I could really get with him saying this LOL! That is Y, I train other men, and hold out, because if it does not work out. I have some waiting in line. However, the more I want 2 leave my man 4 some space, the more he does. The more I resist, the more he does. Which is Y I am running straight into my Cancer man's arms who has been patiently waiting 4 me. Oh, yeah, and my Cancer friend is starting 2 make me feel like it is OK, I can do this with U.

i hate to be the bearer of bad news but the way things are now yall don't have a relationship. you have one person who wants one and another person who isn't sure of anything. it takes two to have a relationship. i am not trying to be negative lady scorp but trying to get you to see reality. i just hate when people start wasting their precious time on something they have no control over. life is to short and remember the old saying which he might finally realize, 'you don't know what you had until it is gone'.

Cansir,

I know this already, hence the title of this thread....lol

Lady Scorp,
What I am trying 2 say is I don't get 2 emotionally attached 2 any man. I just go with the flow. Life is not promised 2 me tommorrow, and a relationships R not either. That is Y I can show love, however, I just don't get 2 attached 2 no 1. If my man or any other man wants space. OK, I will give U space, I will leave the door open. I am not waiting. I am going 2 leave my life. However, if it is room 4 our love in the future. It may work later on in our lives.

sorry a little slow today 🙂 hey like i said i am not trying to be negative i just have your best interest at heart lady scorp.

What's up Cansir and tiki? HOW R Yall! Ole southren slang LOL!

you can keep the door open but you can't wait around for someone to give you what you need when they can't give themselves what they need. who knows you might find someone who is ready for the same things you are or you cancer man might snap back into reality and come running back. we have a tendency to do that 😉

Well I'm all confused now with what to do. MY 2 best friends and Cansir are telling me to officially break it off and move on. Others here are now saying to not say that and just act like it.

Lol....I'm going to see refuge in my scorpion shell....ugh...can I do that?

If it was me krobe, would take Cansir advice. He is great help and can help U overcome the complex Cancer males traits. He has given me advice, I have followed it and it works. When he comes back around, he will B a new and improved man.

I personally don't feel LS needs to tell mr.cancer anything at this point, her silence will be enough for him to wonder whats going on and he will seek her out, plus it doesn't come off as a manipulative tactic to get him to open up, if you do decide to go LS just leave and live your life to the fullest (jus a suggestion).

You owe him nothing, he stated that he knows his behavior isn't fair to you so thats your que to go if you choose to go, right now you 2 aren't on the same page so keep moving honey, he will be back...trust that (:

so right now you have a decision to stay or to go, decisions decisions (:

Now that I have emotionally strengthened the love I have for me, I find that I don't even need my leos attention, its nice when he's around clowning and being cuddly but I could take it or leave it, this took some time and krobe helped me through alot of it (my homie) but I realized its cool if he's being emotional and moody, let him deal with it, I support him, I let him know I care and will be around if he needs me but I decided to stop being so concerned with the process and look at the bigger picture.

Tikki
Look at here. C I B on my job. Listen 2 my girl with all that self confidence. U could not have said it no better. I have struck some fire in U. However, she is right. No OTHER person in this WORLD can complete U, but U. Let him know U R here if he needs U, which he is probably going 2 resist the offer (which to me is good LOL), however, go ahead and do your thing in the process. Meet other men. U don't have 2 get emotionally involved with them. Men want U just as much as U want them. They usually don't show it though. However, if U R in CONTROL of U, and yourself, he will pick up on that self confidence and want 2 desire U more than any other woman in this world.

I really do believe if you go to him and say its over he will believe your using it as a tactic to manipulate his love for you and forcing him to demonstrate his love towards you which will make him resent you and make him dig his heels into the ground.

If you go...let it go without all the drama

LS,
Break it off, however, don't expect him 2 come running back. Live your life. I have read that once a Cancer man has conquered U. He needs a break 2 C if it is MORE challenges out in the world 4 him. That is Y, I am giving U the challenge of your life, before U can even have me.

I really do believe if you go to him and say its over he will believe your using it as a tactic to manipulate his love for you and forcing him to demonstrate his love towards you which will make him resent you and make him dig his heels into the ground.

If you go...let it go without all the drama

Thanks Tikki,

dayyuuum, My girl B laying it down! Yeap, U R so right. U do this and he is 4 sure 2 give U the cold shoulder. Don't expect him back.

LS,
Oh and by the way, he is already expecting U 2 do this, so this won't make him bulge. U should show him a more positive side of U, instead of the negative side. So let him alone. Live your life. Keep the door open! But, find happiness somewhere else in the process. If it is meant 2 B it will B.

NO

I really do believe if you go to him and say its over he will believe your using it as a tactic to manipulate his love for you and forcing him to demonstrate his love towards you which will make him resent you and make him dig his heels into the ground.

If you go...let it go without all the drama

Yeah, and I am glad I could B of help 4 U. I told U in order 2 B with a man. U have 2 act and think like 1. Period. Have yall heard that song by Ciara. I wish I did act like a man LOL! I wish I did not act like a man LOL!

LS,
Me and Tikki R a team. We R opposites. She brings out my weakness and I bring out hers and we have created 2 monsters within ourselves. LOL! She helps me and I help her, together we make weather like hurricane Katrina LOL! But it works. These men keep coming back 4 more. LOL! Gotta love it! Gotta love it!

NO

I love u guys...I had a moment of weakness. Just remembering back when I broke down in my last relationship and my guy left me.

Just afraid that if I ever broke down again that I would be left again even after I stuck by him thru this breakdown. Thats the risk i'm taking here.

sorry I had to say it, he needs to FEEL that your going to have his back...Thank U Tikki, I could not have said it any better. I have dealt with a similiar issues with my Cancer friend. He asked me 2 do something 4 him, and 2 call him when I was finished. When I called him, he did not answer. I just left it at that. Rejection. However, I did not try 2 force ANY issues on him. He came back around a new and improved man. I did not pressure him, or even mention anything 2 him. Now, he is open I guess I have let him know, I understand, I am here if U need me, however, I am not about 2 get all wrapped up into your emotional drama. My feelings come first. He will respect U 4 that.

I'm not too au fait with your situation LadyScorp....the way I see it is if this man is suffering from some sort of clinical depression I can understand his behaviour but I would also be expecting him to take his medication, get counselling if need be and every day to be making every effort to get better and step by step get back to normal? If not, then his behaviour is totally unacceptable and you are right to break up......no-one actually "needs" another but we make a choice to be with them......relationships are all about effort and it's a two-way steet......I won't say anything more as I don't know the nuances but that's just my birdseye view.......life is too short not to be adored everyday.....maybe this is my aquarian "detached" mode coming into play while the cancer "feeling" people are expressing their views....but I also know scorps are passionate to a fault and you ain't getting any passion or interest from this man for the past while........what's the real, real reason for this?

I wish you well whatever you decide to do.

A x

And remember there are no bad decisions...just different outcomes.

:-)

Passion is an emotion. And emotions change all the time.

Love's a different story.

So what's your advice ABC?

Also a 2-Way street

Oh sorry the above was an add to myprevious comment.

But I think a MAJOR Dialog between you 2 is in order. Just say what you both feel about the whole situation. I think that when one party wants to leave is when communication is most important (Most love songs excercise this method😉. You said that when this went down he said he wasn't feeling like himself. If you don't want any part of this then do what you want, but if you still love this guy, I think he might need your help. Its heavy, and yeah I'll bet it took you by suprise. And the whole turning 30 thing is probibly still on his mind, 30 is the new 20 so I don't think hes got anything to worry about. I hear a lot of guys hitting the big 30 go through this.

You don't have to stay if you don't think you can handle this wholething. I do however know that SOMETHING

must have drew you two in.

I agree with the having a talk thing, but I tried 2 weeks ago and was flat out told that these are HIS issues and he doesnt want to talk about them with me. I told him thats fine but he needs to let me know what he wants to do, for instance if i ask him out, i told him all he has to say is babe, i'm not up for it.

I tried to explain to him to just let me know, but he's not doing that at this point. I also said when I called him out on his behavior that if he wants to leave then just tell me so I can move on. His response "its not that easy"

So whatever, i'm almost tired even talking about this. I'm really just bored at work so I'm on here like all day long.

Do you think he wants to leave then?

Have you ever been through something like this before?

ABC....just to give u a quick background...when I called him out on his behavior 2 weeks ago he said I don't know if I want to be in a relationship or not, I don't know if I'm going to be in New York next month, I don't know what I want to do with my life, and I don't know what I'm going to do about my drinking (btw, i dont think he has a drinking problem, he's a social drinker, and the staying in new york is news to me and the being in a relationship is also news)

So out of the blue he comes up with this. My theory was the turning 30 crisis.

If he wants out then thats due to his own insecurities and fear because obviously I did nothing wrong.

ABC....I went thru a "finding myself" period with my ex that I was with for 3 yrs and he left me in the middle of it because I didnt know how to deal with it. I was devastated

So then you think you might be overwhelmed by the problem as well then?

u bet im overwhelmed. one day everything is fine and dandy and then the next bam, u get hit with all this uncertainness.

Well again if the love is still there you should tell him hes got your support but this is you you feel about it:.

Tell him your feeling the effect of the problem too, Maybe not as heavy as he is but its getting you down.

LADY SCORP, MY ADVICE FOR YOU IS: STAY IN THE RELATIONSHIP FOR ASLONG AS YOU ARE STILL HAPPY, AND FEELING HELATHY.
IF YOU DO NOT FEEL GOOD ABOUT URSELF AND UR LIFE, THEN I DONT THINK THERE IS ANY REAOSN FOR YOU TO STAY WITH HIM. SO WHAT IF HE NEEDS SPACE, EVERYONE IS SAYING, DONT WORRY, GIVE HIM HIS SPACE, HE WILL COME AROUND... BLA BLA... BUT WHAT ABOUT US? SOME GIRLS ARE FINE WITH STICKINGA ORUND, AND THEY DO THEIR OWN THING, BUT SOME WOMAN CAN'T DO THIS. IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY, THEN THE BEST THING FOR YOU IS TO MOVE ON.
FIRST AND FOREMOST LOOK OUT FOR YOURSELF

I am leaving the ball in his court and I'm going to take a potty break and get some hot dogs on the way back and have a seat in the bleachers and mingling with the ppl around me and not even pay attention to the game anymore. But I still have my uniform on just in case I get called back in the game.

"emotional creatures like Cancers give so much of themselves not just to you but to anything they feel passionate about and he's drained, he needs this time to reflect and regain his emotional strength"

-as a cancer, i can say this is sooo true! and i think it is a strength and a weakness for us cancers...it is great that we are such giving people and so selfless in that way, but we usually get hurt by it because others tend to take advantage of it.

"Oh Krobe I found out that people with Leo moon (ME) tend to obsess and fixate on people, even worship them, yep, I been digging around into my astrological chart, so I had to nip that in the bud LOL!!"

-OH GOSH!!! is that why i am like that? i am also a leo moon...
ugh, maybe that is why i worship my aqua even though he is not perfect!!!

I am leaving the ball in his court and I'm going to take a potty break and get some hot dogs on the way back and have a seat in the bleachers and mingling with the ppl around me and not even pay attention to the game anymore. But I still have my uniform on just in case I get called back in the game.

Thank U LS, 4 taking me and Tikki advice. This is the whole reason Y all these women keep having problems with men. Because they just don't get it. Men R different when it comes 2 relationships. They don't like 2 B rushed or pressured into nothing. Yes, don't get me wrong as I told U before that your feelings matter. Again, like Tikki stated, it is not HIS responsibility 2 sit up showering U with attention and giving in 2 all your needs. U can do that 4 yourself. If U have been showing this with your actions, he is backing off. This is a woman's needy weakness that runs men in the other direction, and then they sit up crying wondering what went wrong with the situation. He can't fulfill U. U have 2 fullfill U, when he does shower U with affection, take it as a appreciation and not 4 granted. This is not his job U know. B wise and patient. Only a intelligently beautiful woman knows that loves takes time and patience and it cannot B rushed no matter what U say or how U feel. U have 2 B in control of U. I hoped we have helped U.