Why do Cancers try to break down their love?

I'm a Taurus woman dating a Cancer man.

He's a classic Cancer — sweet, thoughtful, kind, compassionate, gentle, loyal.
I'm a classic Taurus — determined, head-strong, passionate, fierce, loyal, direct.

I??ve had to slow my pace down and be more patient than usual to move with our relationship.

He is in love with me, and has said so numerous times. The relationship and feelings are highly charged and very mutual.He is the first man I have ever envisioned a future with. A lot of intentions have been set via phone, text, email??_ but we have had little physical contact.

He keeps saying we need to see each other, spend time together, grow together — yet, has not made the time to do so

His Crab nature is different than me so I couldn't figure out what is happening on a deeper emotional level, until it finally dawned on me what I think is happening.

It's almost like his withdrawls/silences, and more importantly stretching out TIME, he's testing me to see if I will last. If I will be true. He's mentioned he is a one-woman man, and also has been raising his daughter on his own almost since she was born. He's been alone for two years??_and hasn't had a woman in his life. He was betrayed, as so was I in my past relationship. Loyalty and honest are #1 in our books with the person we both want to bring into our lives.

He wants —forever?? so to speak, and has told me that. He wants more specifically —forever?? with me.

The problem is: I need physical contact at this point. It's killing me inside to not see him.

Funny thing is its hurting him to not see me too. In fact, it's almost like it's torturing him more to hold back this much.
Meanwhile, he's envisioning wanting to move in together, spend tons of time together but getting to see each other right now overwhelms him??_ it's like he's stuck in his head dwelling on the positivity of our love.

Every time I reached out to make a plan to see him, he suddenly ignores me. This makes me shut down and not want to put forth the effort.

I'm getting the feeling like he wants to feel needed. He wants me to —chase?? him. Show how much I REALLY care.

It's almost like he's trying to (for lack of a better term) —break me down?? ??_ in a positive way, if that makes any sense?
It's like he will suffer as long as he needs to. What is this suffering for? Why would a Cancer try to break someone down that they are so in love with? And what d

And what does that actually mean to break someone down? At what point does the distance become to much, and the tides change?

Hmm...I'm a Cancer rising, and a female, so...take what you will from this.

I am currently behaving (almost) the same way with a guy that I'm interested in, and he is very interested in me. We're young and haven't known each other for nearly as long as you guys seem to have, but in terms of a serious outlook on relationships, let's just say we have that.

But my emotions are pretty fragile. My heartstrings can be like magnetized tentacles, and when they stick to something, they tend to rip before I can get free. Therefore, if I find myself talking about the future with someone as much as I have lately...I back the hell off, basically. It's not that I don't love the person, it's the fact that I do (or may be getting close to).

Sometimes we who have Cancer in our charts will fall in love before we've given ourselves permission to, so we step back and evaluate things; at least, that's what I do when I'm not face-to-face with him. If during the evaluation process I find nothing to worry about, I'll still keep in contact via text, etc. If I dredge up a concern, I'll just tell him (hmm...that may be my Aqua directness talking, your Cancer guy may or may not be the type to do this).

This way, I'm not too distracted by, say, the warm expression in his eyes when he's passionate about something. Little distractions like that. 😉

Unless he has Scorpionic tendencies elsewhere in his chart, I wouldn't assume that he is "testing" you per se, but maybe running his fingers through his feelings and making sure he knows what he's getting (or already hopelessly gotten, lol) himself into.

Hope this helps a little, maybe.

Wow your cancer sounds like me for the most part. I'm a single dad, have been for most of my daughters life my last relationship was 2 years ago. Met this Taurus woman at work 6 months ago fell love with her, have used the words forever with her. While I thought she felt the same I am unsure now. She has only spoken words once, she made it clear in person from her actions. She however always seems unavailable to talk or be with each other. It's always I will have to see how I feel later on and then she says either she can't (btw she's married to a serial cheating pos) because she needs to get home to her kids or she's way to exhausted. Her communication skills are non responsive. So I an left confused.

She needs to leave her husband and become herself again. I would prefer to wait until she left him before we got physical however at this point and how strongly I feel for her, I don't care at this point if that didn't happen first. Also I haven't asked to see her in a few weeks because a guy can only get turned down so many time

I always find myself probing (not testing) to see how she feels about me. As I said her body language and actions say one thing and her words say nothing. She has yet to answer a single question regarding us. But I can say I know you love me and get a smile or say I feel like you don't care and then get the silent wall treatment.

For me I'm now stepping away because I hurt from confusion. Even put my 2 weeks notice from work last night because of it.
My advice to you if you are non verbal like most bulls just grab him and rape him. I promise he will love it if he has used those words. I also noticed you stated he has said words of love and forever. But have you spoken the same lately or at all? I strongly suggest you do and do it frequently and you might be in for a treat of a lifetime ...

Hi there :-) Thank you for writing your thoughts and feelings. I appreciate it! I can totally relate to what you wrote.

In fact, I think you hit the nail on the head when you said, "I wouldn't assume that he is "testing" you per se, but maybe running his fingers through his feelings and making sure he knows what he's getting (or already hopelessly gotten, lol) himself into."

THere's nothing that comes across as malicious or testing really. It's more like he's protecting himself. And waiting things out. Almost like the more time that goes by means it will last.

Meanwhile I need to see him. And I guess I don't know if it would be better to back off in silence like I have been and give him space or reach our more often. It seems the more I reach out the more receptive he is. The less I do he crawls deeper into his shell. It's like he wants to feel needed. Either way I feel like I'm making the effort...silence kills me, and putting forth the effort leaves me to vulnerable/rejected!

For some reason the word 'breaking me in' or 'breaking me down' keeps coming to me..and I can't put a finger exactly why this is coming to me or what it means. Do you do this with the man you love in any way?

Well I guess you and I posted at the same time but wanted to add how important words are. I'd rather be betrayed than left in confusion . At least then I can start moving on.
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Hello TrueCancer :-)...

Thank you for your comments and experience with your Taurus woman. Has she said she wants to leave her husband to be with you? From my experience of Tauruses, and knowing myself we are BIG on LOYALTY. Once you're in, you're IN. But we are very black or white. You're either in or out. It's a different thought process than a Cancer where there is more gray area. I wonder if she needs a clean slate mentally before pursuing someone else 🙂

When you say "a guy can only get turned down so many times"...how/what are you asking her to do?

The reason I ask is because I find Cancers to be in ways indirect and like to 'test the waters' to see if it's safe when asking for something. But for a Taurus who needs things blatantly spelled out (I don't take to subtleties) I'm not going to 'get it' unless it's spelled out word for word.

What do you do to probe/test her?

I loved your last lines 🙂 It's funny..the more I show love/affection the more receptive he is. But I start to feel drained because ultimatley I just want to see him in person, and it seems like I could be waiting a lifetime at this point. He's making me feel like I'd have t BEG to see him - which goes against the whole Bull-headed stubborn ego.

Id ask Would you like to come over for dinner or go get coffee. I'm very direct with her.

Well I'm on the way into work an she's there. But if you want a decent read I can pm the story after work.

Yes feel free to pm the story 🙂