Why is he doing this

I posted this in the relationships and dating section
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships-astrology/he-s-being-horrible-5784156/

If anyone can give any advice or insight that would be appreciated

I think I just started holding on to the feeling I got from him initially. When he first came in to my life it had a v positive impact and we seemed quite solid and on the same level going in the right direction. But now I don't know why he behaves like this when I make such an effort to gauge how HES feeling and act on that. Any cancers with any in sight on why hes acted like this?!

Would he come back after all of this? Would he initiate anything or apologise for the way he's been

Hi I commented on your original post there's a chance he'll come back and even apologize, then repeat the same shit over and over again. 😢

@mgmtlove hi I just read all your posts. Will respond on the other page!

Well Ms. LibWman, was the arguments in public or around friends or family? I've been in a relationship with a Libra before (6 years) and it wasn't compatible at all. We were both young back then and immature as well. You being a Libra, i'm quite sure you speak your mind whenever you get frustrated or upset and by doing so that communication barrier is a BEAST with a Cancer. We hear something different with your choice of words. We hear inconsiderate and disrespect in your words, even when you're not intentionally trying to be that way. I didn't learn these things until I got much older and more mature. I talk with my ex Libra (who's now married) and we are really cool friends. I don't think Cancers and Libras would work in a relationship, without a deeper understanding of the differences within both partners.

Will he come back? Of course, but it might not be for the same reasons that you would want. He'll only be back for sex. If he's openly talking to other women, while knowing you are aware of it, then he's has no respect for you. I wouldn't recommend you to continue, unless you ok with that type of treatment. I recommend you find yourself a Gemini or an Aries. They'll give you all the attention you need.

@TrueCancerMale No the arguments were all in private not around other people. Yes you're right I do say what's on my mind for the most part but only so we could put our feelings about a situation out there and not evade any issues but I tried to be as respectful as possible when voicing any concerns. Especially in the beginning I would always say I want to talk about things and then say it calmly. Then when he started taking offence I tried to just go quiet and not say it right away but he picked up on it and asked what was wrong and when I did tell him he would get all upset again? I tried to read the situation the best I could and would try and consider his feelings. If I felt I said something to hurt him I would apologise and even said I'll change certain things he wasn't happy with. I tried to smooth things over and over but it was almost as though he was ADAMANT he would not let go of his anger. He would literally start arguments out of nothing. E.g he was upset about something and I said don't worry about it babe trust me when I tell you things will get better. He flipped and said stop lying to me you treetrunking don't know if things will get better so don't say such stupid things. I mean wtf? I always tried to compromise. I also tried to calm things down if I ever felt they were getting heated by saying let's take a moment and let's chill out there's no point in getting upset. I was very compromising. Too much to be honest. Only because I really cared and It had been a long time since I felt that way for someone. He just kept getting angry. It's like he just changed over night from being so loving and sweet to this monster. Cussing and calling me names? Even when I didn't retaliate? We never had sex so I don't know if he would come back for that. I don't know if I was too persistent and that just drove him away or showed too much emotion. I don't know. I don't think he ever cared for him to now act like this. And it's not attention that I need it's just security and stability. I need my own space and need to take a breather much like cancers but he just up and disappears. I felt like I was constantly pulling all the weight in the end. I dont think he will be back because he made it clear he didn't want to speak to me in the last message.

He sounds like a very reactionary insecure cancer...cancers usually shut down when pressured or cornered...they retreat they are very sensitive. But him calling you names is unacceptable in my opinion. Is he giving you enough of what you need? Doesn't sound like he gives you much, so id maybe not put so much effort into it..

@boxcarmirnta he was in the beginning but not anymore. We haven't even spoken since the incident a week ago. After he cussed me out called me a hoe and all of that I said I'm taking you out of my life and never initiating contact with you again. he seriously crossed a line. Though a part of me hoped he would at least do something. At least apologise. I believe he's gone for good especially as it ended on such a bad note.

I dunno..verbal abuse is a deal breaker for me. I'm pretty sure you can do better..

Honestly it sounds like he has straight up borderline personality disorder..he wont apologize he expects you to do all the work, he lured you in with fancy lies in the beginning and has been an asshole ever since..he doesn't deserve your time.

If the cancer man don't apologize after what he had done... DO NOT BEG HIS RESPECT least he may found you an ego tripper.

I had several ups and downs with my cancer man but until this day we are still together.

Fights - nasty. strong. abusive. pick up. make up. whatever you call it crazy stupid stuff - we were there and done that.

Me... counter attacked and it killed him inside. 😆. I won't take it lightly. but he is very apologetic when my words killed him.

yeah. I think Only Scorpio or people who have strong influence of Scorpio in their chart can deal a cancer man.

Stand on your ground Lib. Soon he will realize that you are not just a woman. you are a woman.

Posted by goligold
Well...you should move on seriously, this relationship isn't going to go anywhere..he already has. Blocking you and calling you names is a clue.

remember my cancer man did that to me.. I called him on it. he called me *w*h*o*r*e and b*i*t*c*h and fucking boys here.. lady,I swallowed it.. and replied him he likes me acting on that..

then he said Tell me honestly M if you are doing it. please. hahaha 😆 😆 😆. what I did. I sent him a pic and acting those names he called me. Trust me I got a reversed result.

He said he was sorry and he is sad and felt terrible while I was walking away. So he asked sorry and not to hurt me again like what he did.

again, do no react. respond.

Someone that supposedly loved you call you horrible names and you're concerned about staying in a relationship with them? Speechless
You're a doormat and no man wants a woman that he can treat like shyt and walk all over her.

Posted by M143
If the cancer man don't apologize after what he had done... DO NOT BEG HIS RESPECT least he may found you an ego tripper.

I had several ups and downs with my cancer man but until this day we are still together.

Fights - nasty. strong. abusive. pick up. make up. whatever you call it crazy stupid stuff - we were there and done that.

Me... counter attacked and it killed him inside. 😆. I won't take it lightly. but he is very apologetic when my words killed him.

yeah. I think Only Scorpio or people who have strong influence of Scorpio in their chart can deal a cancer man.

Stand on your ground Lib. Soon he will realize that you are not just a woman. you are a woman.

So you're suggesting I fight back when he name calls or says something nasty? What did you say that made him apologise?

Posted by LIb4Life
Someone that supposedly loved you call you horrible names and you're concerned about staying in a relationship with them? Speechless
You're a doormat and no man wants a woman that he can treat like shyt and walk all over her.

No no. I am not a fucking doormat @LIb4Life. When he called me names I told him I'm cutting him out of my life and said I'll never initiate contact with him again. My question is more to do with will he change or apologise for the way he was. Read through.

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Honestly it sounds like he has straight up borderline personality disorder..he wont apologize he expects you to do all the work, he lured you in with fancy lies in the beginning and has been an asshole ever since..he doesn't deserve your time.

I said that to him. I said you have some kind of personality disorder or bipolar schizophrenic something has to give? He just tried to turn it around on me as usual. The one time I did get really angry at him and called him vile and said he was disgusting was when he screen shot a picture of him talking to various women and sent it to me to hurt me. I just flipped out that day and I believe I was fully justified in how I felt and the way I reacted. It made me feel sick. Other than that I've always kept my cool even when he's been nasty I've not resorted to name calling etc.

Posted by blackphase
THIS ^^

I've spent the last year dealing with an individual who displayed very similar behavior as far as lies, poor communication and lack of respect go.. and I will tell you it's not going to change. I am also a very compromising person, I like to talk about things and deal with them before they blow up just like you do. But not everyone operates like that.. and at first you will apologize and you will be calm and you will be nice when faced with his nastiness.. but it wears on you after awhile, and then you develop the same nastiness in return when you realize that all of your efforts are for nothing. It doesn't feel good to become the person that you are disliking the behavior of right now. You're only a month in? Run the other way as fast as you can.. I saw the warning signs that early on too and chose to ignore them. Don't feed his immature behavior.

But I am also so fucked up that I don't take my own advice.. SMH

Yes this! You sound just like me. Honestly I feel it's so important to talk about an issue there and then or at least diffuse a situation as soon as possible. Not let it linger or resonate and then you get a snow ball effect and it just leads to massive blow ups. All relationships need compromise and he is one of the least compromising individuals i know. I don't know if he did it because he stopped caring or what happened. Also you're absolutely right about it eating away at you until you eventually react. That happened to me and the day I did react he called ME mental?! He had the audacity to say that I'm over reacting when any little tiny thing that upset him he would blow up. I don't mind sensitive men infanct I admire men who can be sensitive and show emotion but he was becoming so emotionally abusive. At times he even admitted to it the following day. He would say ' I do this. This is me. If someone tries to hurt me emotionally I will become a monster and I will play on your emotions and hurt you twice as hard' etc.

There was an occasion where he was telling me something sad and I tried to comfort him and be caring and affectionate and he flipped out a that started swearing and shouting at me saying I've ruined his night. And it was always my fault. He would say it's just me who is the issue because he treated all the other girls in the past really well. He's had 11 relationships in the last 11 years

Lib,

The water element ( scorp, cancer pisces) is just all talks. Yes you should fight back because they appreciate strong women. also, don't tell him he is unfair with you.
Just spit it out what you feel and how it affects you when he is ignoring you. If you start like blaming on him of what had happened instead of giving him an upper hand he will retreat into his shell and break up with you. Be the right person. You are libra . Use your charm and not pity. I have 4 libra friends I get along with them very well.
Don't be afraid of fighting with him specially if you are right on your own conviction. Also, Embrace the dark side of love not just those lovey dovey words.
Be clear. Be strong. Be patient. Be the person he cannot let go. After all he was a lover not an enemy. Why holding on too much resentment. It kills you inside. Be gentle with yourself.

My man apologised over and over again of all those fights. when a person is mad and angry sure it's not beautiful words that comes out from their mouth.
He said before Goodbye M. I replied Do it a*s*s*h*o*l*e if that makes you happy. Most of the time I don't say goodbye - Goodbye for me is an Action not words.

Good luck Lib. Hope it works for you. 🙂

Posted by LibWman
There was an occasion where he was telling me something sad and I tried to comfort him and be caring and affectionate and he flipped out a that started swearing and shouting at me saying I've ruined his night. And it was always my fault. He would say it's just me who is the issue because he treated all the other girls in the past really well. He's had 11 relationships in the last 11 years

My man told me that. I sent him a msg like this* why is that I am involved with your night and worked?* How am I supposed to react this? I am innocent of what you are doing. lol
He then said.. M, I realized honey I am childish. lol. It was our 2nd break up. hahaha

Posted by goligold

Posted by M143

Posted by goligold
Well...you should move on seriously, this relationship isn't going to go anywhere..he already has. Blocking you and calling you names is a clue.

remember my cancer man did that to me.. I called him on it. he called me *w*h*o*r*e and b*i*t*c*h and fucking boys here.. lady,I swallowed it.. and replied him he likes me acting on that..

then he said Tell me honestly M if you are doing it. please. hahaha 😆 😆 😆. what I did. I sent him a pic and acting those names he called me. Trust me I got a reversed result.

He said he was sorry and he is sad and felt terrible while I was walking away. So he asked sorry and not to hurt me again like what he did.

again, do no react. respond.

I can't sleep and just read your post, Ok..for me name calling like that is a deal breaker..who needs friends like that. I used to be a relationship coach as a hobby, I could never understand why woman hold onto the men like that. There are so many better options, relationships like this rarely work out and if they last are very toxic and hurtful, who needs that..

So you are still together?

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I did walked away. if he didn't reach out to me and told me I am his everything and he was very sad.I maybe done with him but I let go my pride. I understand him very well. Or maybe I can understand him better because we are both water element. I become vulnerable when he started talking like he cares about me soo much and loves me soo much. It made me smile though.I'd better be with a guy who acknowledge his mistakes and loss after break up than a guy who is very strong for me to let go.

Posted by Koniucha
I would not even stand near someone that called me names. That is unacceptable. Who the hell does he think he is??

Much rather be single, screw that.

Because there was fight. If a guy call me names and we don't have argument - then it's another story.

Posted by M143
Lib,

The water element ( scorp, cancer pisces) is just all talks. Yes you should fight back because they appreciate strong women. also, don't tell him he is unfair with you.
Just spit it out what you feel and how it affects you when he is ignoring you. If you start like blaming on him of what had happened instead of giving him an upper hand he will retreat into his shell and break up with you. Be the right person. You are libra . Use your charm and not pity. I have 4 libra friends I get along with them very well.
Don't be afraid of fighting with him specially if you are right on your own conviction. Also, Embrace the dark side of love not just those lovey dovey words.
Be clear. Be strong. Be patient. Be the person he cannot let go. After all he was a lover not an enemy. Why holding on too much resentment. It kills you inside. Be gentle with yourself.

My man apologised over and over again of all those fights. when a person is mad and angry sure it's not beautiful words that comes out from their mouth.
He said before Goodbye M. I replied Do it a*s*s*h*o*l*e if that makes you happy. Most of the time I don't say goodbye - Goodbye for me is an Action not words.

Good luck Lib. Hope it works for you. 🙂

You know what this is what I did. Initially when we had our first argument I was utterly confused and of course hurt. But I thought to myself I really feel for this man and I see a future with him and I know no relationship is rainbows and sunshine so I'll stick it out. I even said to him I'm not your enemy I want to Make this work. But any time I tried to explain my feelings or tell him How i felt about him acting or behaving a certain way he would immediately take offence and say I'm attacking him. Even when I chose my words carefully or tried to not be too critical he would take offence. Anything I tried would hurt him and upset him. He would be like ok so I'm a useless piece of crap (about himself). I'm no good. I'm this and that. Pitying himself. How the hell do you show them you're annoyed or not accepting of their behaviour without it being an attack on them or them perceiving it that way?

Posted by Koniucha
I would not even stand near someone that called me names. That is unacceptable. Who the hell does he think he is??

Much rather be single, screw that.

Much like the other poster I tried to stick it out because I believe all relationships go through turbulent periods and I didn't want to just give up on him but I did eventually when I told him I'll never initiate contact with him again. He didn't stop me. Instead he said he was glad I'm going and leaving him alone.

Lib,

Don't be too emotional when he is throwing you insults. Take it light. Play it cool. Make him feel that you are annoying and acting *b*i*t*c*h as he wished.
He is cancer dude - emotionally insecure. yeah you are right pitying himself. lift him up. Be upfront to him until he will surrender. Don't retreat if he is telling you offensive.
Be strong. Lead him. You are emotionally stronger than him. I was there and done that.. and your dude and my dude behaving the same. Until he completely surrender
because I know all of his past women left him and cannot handle him. So maybe that talks also your dude. His girls left him too. No one is going to deal that, I know.
But love is not conditional. if you want it to work out. Give space. If he will come back.. you know what you feel and what to do.

You know what.. best lovers are not easy to handle. They are very suspicious and have many issues. Difficult to handle. Revealing their dark side from the very start. To know if you're worth the effort.


same thing in getting success.. it's not an easy task. There are many thorns, trials, difficulties you meet as soon as you don't quit You will get the best of it. 🙂

Posted by M143
Lib,

Don't be too emotional when he is throwing you insults. Take it light. Play it cool. Make him feel that you are annoying and acting *b*i*t*c*h as he wished.
He is cancer dude - emotionally insecure. yeah you are right pitying himself. lift him up. Be upfront to him until he will surrender. Don't retreat if he is telling you offensive.
Be strong. Lead him. You are emotionally stronger than him. I was there and done that.. and your dude and my dude behaving the same. Until he completely surrender
because I know all of his past women left him and cannot handle him. So maybe that talks also your dude. His girls left him too. No one is going to deal that, I know.
But love is not conditional. if you want it to work out. Give space. If he will come back.. you know what you feel and what to do.

Initially I did do just that. I would confront him and if he locked me out I would find a way back in to talk about things. We would talk 3/4 hours straight sometimes about an issue because I wouldn't back down but sometimes I felt I was just pushing him further away. I didn't want to give up on him and tried very hard but the straw that broke the camels back was seeing him talking to other women. I felt like why should I have to fight for his affection when he's already talking to other women? I was adamant I wouldn't just leave like the other women but the cussing and speaking to other women was a step too far. Also everytime I came back he would question why I did. It was like he constantly pushing me away in the last two weeks and even saying he wished I would just leave and go. So I did.

Posted by Koniucha

Posted by LibWman

Posted by Koniucha
I would not even stand near someone that called me names. That is unacceptable. Who the hell does he think he is??

Much rather be single, screw that.

Much like the other poster I tried to stick it out because I believe all relationships go through turbulent periods and I didn't want to just give up on him but I did eventually when I told him I'll never initiate contact with him again. He didn't stop me. Instead he said he was glad I'm going and leaving him alone.

I understand relationships take work. But if someone is calling you names, then no. And he said he is glad you are leaving? Fuck him. Geez, sometimes it is so difficult to like other people.

Hate to say it, but don't act desperate and don't be a doormat.

click to expand

I'm absolutely not though. Near the end I probably was grasping at straws but then he went too far and I left. This entire post was more for venting and getting so insight and also to know if he would change or be remorseful though now I believe he won't.

Posted by Arielle83
He's just a toxic person. There are plenty of them out there. Need to make you feel inferior to make you crack and loss it! Then they feel you need them.

Don't fight back and call names. Don't react. You've got to be the bigger person.

Move on.

Thanks

Posted by Koniucha

Posted by LibWman

Posted by Koniucha

Posted by LibWman

Posted by Koniucha
I would not even stand near someone that called me names. That is unacceptable. Who the hell does he think he is??

Much rather be single, screw that.

Much like the other poster I tried to stick it out because I believe all relationships go through turbulent periods and I didn't want to just give up on him but I did eventually when I told him I'll never initiate contact with him again. He didn't stop me. Instead he said he was glad I'm going and leaving him alone.

I understand relationships take work. But if someone is calling you names, then no. And he said he is glad you are leaving? Fuck him. Geez, sometimes it is so difficult to like other people.

Hate to say it, but don't act desperate and don't be a doormat.

I'm absolutely not though. Near the end I probably was grasping at straws but then he went too far and I left. This entire post was more for venting and getting so insight and also to know if he would change or be remorseful though now I believe he won't.

Ok, then that is good. People only change if they really want to. And they would show that by actions.

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I agree. It's just a sad reality I guess.

Posted by goligold
He did get made at me this weekend for saying he decorated his house to much. I'm more of a minimalist. He did finally forgive me after he figured out where my comment came from. Which was...why are you buying all of this we are supposed to me moving in together...once he knew that he was ok. Very sensitive guys..

That's what I mean. ANY little comment. In the beginning i used to really keep my distance. If he didn't get a loving or affectionate response from me he would be quick to message and ask what's wrong etc even if absolutely nothing was wrong. That's when I started to make an effort to show I cared and that's when he became a massive bitch. He's 29 so really I don't get the games and the immaturity. He almost married one of his ex gfs and according to him treated her like a queen but I really don't see it.

Posted by Koniucha
It is. You can't base you happiness or hopes on others unfortunately. But once you find your own, you will find someone better.

You know I hadn't been in a relationship for years before I met this cancer. I was so confident career oriented happy and self assured. So that's when I thought maybe it's time to let someone in and he came along just by chance. When we hit it off I genuinely believed I had a future with him. I thought this might really be the guy I marry. Oh well.

Posted by blackphase
Yes that is exactly what I face within my relationship and it only gets harder. My fella is aware of his hurtful behavior as well and it does make him feel bad, but guess what.. it doesn't change anything. I've left, I've been nice, I've been calm, I've been supportive, I've dished his nastiness right back at him. Ive come at it from every angle and it may get better for a day or two, but it never really stops. I am sensitive and my feelings get hurt very easily, but I've stuck by him and it hasn't changed. Over a year later and no change. Id avoid this fellow if i were you, it only leads to heartache and feeling worthless.

Exactly this. Exactly this. Every angle every which way. And I know they like consistency so I started to just give him space and not make anything an attack but in return he became hurtful. Nasty. I know I don't deserve that shit.

Posted by goligold

Posted by blackphase
Yes that is exactly what I face within my relationship and it only gets harder. My fella is aware of his hurtful behavior as well and it does make him feel bad, but guess what.. it doesn't change anything. I've left, I've been nice, I've been calm, I've been supportive, I've dished his nastiness right back at him. Ive come at it from every angle and it may get better for a day or two, but it never really stops. I am sensitive and my feelings get hurt very easily, but I've stuck by him and it hasn't changed. Over a year later and no change. Id avoid this fellow if i were you, it only leads to heartache and feeling worthless.

That is the big challenge with libra and cancer both signs are extremely sensitive, one thing that I tried with my guy that worked..we were in San Fransisco Sunday and I was a little hung over and he started to make little jabs at me and I said please I don't want to be criticized right now. And he stopped after a complete analysis of why... Lol

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That's what I did. I tried to put things in his 'language' in hopes of getting through to him. What made it all the more worse was if there was an issue and I wanted to talk about it have it out in the open I would say I'm going to fall when you're available so we can talk. He would be like no I'm not going to answer. I'm not going to talk over the phone. Or if I said lets meet up and talk he'd say no that's a waste of time. It's shocking how much he changed from this angel who wanted me so much to this complete monster.

Posted by busyeyes88
At the end of the day, it's not about sun signs... We set the bar on how we wish to be treated by others and how we ourselves treat others!!

Under no uncertain terms or circumstances would I EVER disrespect anyone especially a S/O by downgrading them and myself by name calling and being disrespectful yo them. Likewise I will not tolerate that kind of behaviour from anyone and that includes a S/O.

The moment anyone also S/O disrespects me in anyway, the relationship is finished.. OVER. I have been in a situation like this a couple of times and I have ended the relationship. No excuses. Deleted. They are gone. My standards are high. They can return and apologize if they so wish... But it will be too late.

OP perhaps you need to set your bar higher!! People will treat you the way you allow them to.

Yeah it's true. I feel I got it in to my head that we could work through whatever it was especially if it was going to be for the long term. So I tried. Funny thing is my last long term relationship was with a Taurus and we both knew we would never and could never cross that boundary of name calling and cussing. Ever. It doesn't seem like it but i have the same belief about once you start disrespecting in that way the relationship is effectively over. In the beginning when I felt this cancer was about to come out with some nasty shit I would explicitly say DONT go there. Don't say anything else or at least think about it before you do. It's as though to him it was normal or a boundary he was WILLING to cross. A couple of times when I swore in convo or said fuck this or I'm so fucking annoyed he said he didn't like the swearing in convo and then proceeded to do it himself? I then said why do you feel you have some right to swear and if I've ever done it you've called me out on it and he says oh because I'm pissed off. What the actual fuck. Couldn't take it anymore.

Posted by goligold
that's too bad, it sounds like you really loved him. Unfortunately it doesn't always work out no matter what their sign is, but I don't recommend ever putting up with verbal abuse from anybody. Especially someone that claims to love you. It's very very damaging. Count your blessings and meet someone that loves the same way you do...he is out there.

Yeah hope so. I'm just not willing to let anyone back in for a while now I don't think I can do it at the moment. It's beyond me that he had everything he ever wanted and was looking for in front of him and there willing to make it work. Willing to be serious. And he just couldn't give a fuck just threw it all away. Just like that.

Posted by blackphase

Posted by goligold

Posted by blackphase
Yes that is exactly what I face within my relationship and it only gets harder. My fella is aware of his hurtful behavior as well and it does make him feel bad, but guess what.. it doesn't change anything. I've left, I've been nice, I've been calm, I've been supportive, I've dished his nastiness right back at him. Ive come at it from every angle and it may get better for a day or two, but it never really stops. I am sensitive and my feelings get hurt very easily, but I've stuck by him and it hasn't changed. Over a year later and no change. Id avoid this fellow if i were you, it only leads to heartache and feeling worthless.

That is the big challenge with libra and cancer both signs are extremely sensitive, one thing that I tried with my guy that worked..we were in San Fransisco Sunday and I was a little hung over and he started to make little jabs at me and I said please I don't want to be criticized right now. And he stopped after a complete analysis of why... Lol

I am sensitive too and I don't react in that way. I'm extremely sensitive. It causes me to be calmer and more understanding, so why are they so nasty when their sensitivities are grazed? The only time I touch his sensitivities is when he is totally bulldozing over mine. There is such a double standard. 😢

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Yes agreed. My sensitivity makes me more understanding towards people and their emotions because I would put myself in that persons shoes. See it from their point of view too. people have always found it easy to open up to me for this reason. I'd be considerate of the persons emotions but he would always be on the offensive and happily attack how I felt and that's when I defended myself. Double standards indeed.

Posted by Koniucha
I would not even stand near someone that called me names. That is unacceptable. Who the hell does he think he is??

Much rather be single, screw that.

^^^ this...

you can display your anger without being childish and calling ppl out their name.

Posted by Honeybunniie

Posted by Koniucha
I would not even stand near someone that called me names. That is unacceptable. Who the hell does he think he is??

Much rather be single, screw that.

^^^ this...

you can display your anger without being childish and calling ppl out their name.

click to expand

Yes there are many ways like talking like two grown ass adults. He obviously stopped caring so calling me anything didn't matter.

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by LibWman

Posted by LIb4Life
Someone that supposedly loved you call you horrible names and you're concerned about staying in a relationship with them? Speechless
You're a doormat and no man wants a woman that he can treat like shyt and walk all over her.

No no. I am not a fucking doormat @LIb4Life. When he called me names I told him I'm cutting him out of my life and said I'll never initiate contact with him again. My question is more to do with will he change or apologise for the way he was. Read through.

Whether he apologies or not, what difference will it make in your life?!!! If someone is that abusive in the first place they will never have the clear sense of mind to understand what they did was wrong in order to apologise. You will find that a toxic person as your cancer is more than likely bipolar!

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he referred to three of his exs as being bipolar and then when he started acting out I started putting it altogether realising it was him who was. Yes you're right.

Posted by blackphase

Posted by Koniucha

Posted by blackphase

Posted by Koniucha

Posted by blackphase

Posted by goligold
Because their emotions are tied in deeper and it can overwhelm them.

How do you mean? It doesn't seem like they are tied in deeper when they treat you like that. 😢

Like you said, double standard.

So does that mean that they don't actually care. This is what I have been struggling with. I just don't feel that someone that loves you and cares about you would treat you like this. But i know everyone is different and reacts to and handles things differently. I just don't know if it was ever real sometimes. I am so different so its hard for me to grasp this behavior.

Oh, I don't know if they care or not. But you can only go by one's actions. Actions speak louder than words, as they say.

But actions and words vary. Neither are consistent. I never know what to believe, as I'm sure op is struggling with that as well.

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Yes no consistency he would blow hot and cold. He would say something and then take it back and say oh I said a lot of things and you just believe all of it. I'm like well you're not making anything fucking clear! If your guy has admitted to being schizophrenic please don't stay any longer because I worry that could start translating in to more serious forms of abuse. Not saying it would but have you ever felt worried that it could?

Posted by blackphase
I've experienced that it could.

He's such a selfish fucking asshole that he uses you like that. He's using you like a crutch and according to you not even willing to better himself. That's what they do use you like a toy if they feel they can. Manipulate you and make you feel you're at fault even when you know you're not. Making you second guess yourself and your judgement.

Yup this is toxic..run fast! Dont look back!

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Yup this is toxic..run fast! Dont look back!

Honestly I've been doing everything i can to keep my mind off of it. Throwing myself in to work working out seeing fam and friends. I was in two minds about posting about it but couldn't shake the need to want to know what the hell it was all about all along. Sometimes have moments where i feel I wish he'd tried or changed but fuck it. Fuck this shit. He doesn't deserve me or anything i have to offer.

Naw he doesn't..and he wont change. This is what ppl with this disorder do, lure you in and destroy you so dont feel bad or stupid, its hard to move on but honestly it'll only get worse if you keep trying. I've dated several of these types...its the worst thing ever.

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Naw he doesn't..and he wont change. This is what ppl with this disorder do, lure you in and destroy you so dont feel bad or stupid, its hard to move on but honestly it'll only get worse if you keep trying. I've dated several of these types...its the worst thing ever.

When it ended he also said to me that he will make another girl the luckiest girl in the world and that I basically wasn't worth it. Saying it was all my fault things got screwed up. All my efforts throw back in my face. Fuck that.

Yup. Sounds like bpd to me! Always someone else's fault, abuse, anger....trust me every girl he encounters will eventually run screaming..

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Yup. Sounds like bpd to me! Always someone else's fault, abuse, anger....trust me every girl he encounters will eventually run screaming..

is it that easy for them just to switch? To go from
Being the sweetest Angel and actually keeping that front up for almost an entire month then becoming something so sinister? Puts me off men entirely really.

Without reading any of the other comments, have you gone into what the arguments were about in the first place? I think that will tell a lot here.

Cancers tend to get overwhelmed by any tensions/negativity/displays of emotions that they themselves didn't start therefore they are not in control of.

I have found it is common with Cancer men that there will always be other women catching their eye. I have dated several (only one long term) and this has been the case even with my Cancer man that still claims he loves me. In fact, that was a major culprit for a lot of our arguments. He felt the need to be close with other women even though he seems to have, in general, a very negative view/stance on women. Very unusual and I think it's typically a mother related complex. They are either attached to their mothers or have a tense/negative/frustrating relationship with them.

Give a little insight as to how long you were together and what most of the arguments were about.

To me it seems he is not willing to put any effort in and you should just move on.