why the torture—?

i am new here.. born on july 3. a typical cancer man.i will like to say that from what i have seen of this forum i am very similar to all cancers here on some level.i have a few friends who know me,well some parts of me that is (lol noone will actually know the world inside our head),very day dreaming kinda person,very private too,emotional and sensitive to slight hurts from those close to me.i was going around and meeting a gemini girl,we were very much having a history since school.well it was nice but after a period of time,my shell came out to her direct words and well..it just ended. the problem is i couldnt get over her...i still cant in a way.that happened 1 and half year ago.but we kept talking coz i think i couldnt let go of her!! she was the love of my life! but she didnt want a relationship with me anymore..so we kinda just drifted apart,though funnily i thought about her everyday! it was like obsession.every time i woke up,i realised the rejection and the hurt and what great things would have happened between us if i would have been patient with her and kept her guessing instead of declaring my love for her over and over again. meanwhile, had a gud close friendship with a sag girl in my college class and i developed feelings for her as she used to care so much for me.but before i could ask her out she went out with a jerk and well thats it!i have stopped talking to her now too...so i lost two really great girls who i dont talk to anymore!the sag girl tries to initiate contact again and again with me,saying how special i was to her and she wants to keep contact with me,but i kinda rebuff her attempts now,coz i am not a chump! i m a closet poet,only to my lovers and i do believe in old fashioned love,i believe strongly that the girl who ll appreciate my unique qualities wil be the perfect one and till then i will wait,but a bit lonely now and sad the way things have turned out.i have tried hard to stop living in the past but it kinda keeps on coming in my mind..and then a bit of self low esteem strikes in.i am confident about my looks,i m a real good luking guy... but mayb i just fall for the wrong ones! but y this torture— i wish we cancers had a erase history button! did ane1 go thru the rejection stuff?? how did they cope?

thanks..i am def checking that out.