Advice needed.. I think i blew my chances with a g (Page 2)

Sure! And, you know, he may be back... With the marines factor and the Cap. factor, this 2 week hiatus is expected.

Yea... I thought of that and was afraid you might too... the part (A) possibility. You just sent him that Easter card though... so it's like why 2-4 days later would you be blowing things all to hell on purpose by doing that? I would hope that he'd want to believe that it was a mistake, w/ the other guy's name in the email along w/ getting your card.

I'M here!!! I missed you girls! I have been busy and didn't have internet for a week. Went through some major issues with the cap...he went away and didn't call me for 3 days. i straightout told him that if I wasn't a top priority in his life then we would need to stop everything...he almost had a heart attack. So that was 2 weeks ago, things have been really good ever sense...however i am still on edge, we all know how caps can just pull away and lift off when ever they want.

For those who dont know me I am a Taurus on the cusp of gemini (moon aquarius)who has been with a cap since Sept. Whats up with everyone else?? I am going to try and read a couple more posts before the night is out

I can't believe they are all the same..They get in your head, stay in your head, don't let you move on, don't want you either..As long as they feel loved by everyone, they are happy but they are very slowwwwwwwwwww..they will take their time about it all..

And why is every cap guy I come across a freakin Lawyer!..lol

Yes Taurusbabe..they are boring!..question absolutely everything..always out to prove you wrong..to defy your every belief..its like..gosh get a life!

hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hey!!!!!!!!!!!!! that's me ur talking about!!!!!

Too late, damage is already done but Capgirl can take it..besides who cares who it offends..can't go changing your opinion just because someone doesn't like them..

Opinions are like arseholes, everyones got them..

OMG Missmorals... you are sooo right!!! My cap guy is a freakin lawyer too. Is this a pattern or what. Its unbelievable. So he's currently having his finals and has pushed me aside for a while.. because 'he has his priorities in order'. So I haven't heard from him in over a week now.. and haven't talked to him on the phone in three weeks. I can't get him off my head. I have two guys chasing me at the moment (both doctors and really good looking guys), and all I can think of is HIM! I have this gut feeling that he'll come back to me.. I should wait at least until he finishes exams. It's like torture sitting here and waiting for his call/text. When I do get to talk to him again (since I'm so hopeful) I'm telling him that I will not put up with this kind of behavior again. Think its better to be firm and direct with these caps?

Leo-girl-with-cap:

Why are you waiting by a phone if you have 2 DOCTORS interested in you? Heck, with the student lawyer for now since he is SOOOOOOO busy. You shouldn't put your life on hold and wait for his call. Go out and enjoy yourself. I'm having a problem with a guy also but he isn't a Capricorn, actually another sign. It's very frustrating waiting for the guy to call but you have to stay strong. You go girl. 🙂

You're both right in your own way, Mystical and sb. The truth is that I feel a very strong connection with this cap-lawyer guy so I'm willing to be patient with him. I can wait for at least another two/three weeks... then I might, or will try getting over him emotionally. At the moment, he's the only thing on my mind. So I have a date with one of the docs right now. I'll keep it casual... I have to... with another guy is occupying my mind! Keep u gals posted. 🙂

Leo-girl-with-cap:

I fully understand you have this Cap guy on your mind. It's only natural when you really like someone. I'm very glad to see you are going with one of the doctors. Of course keep it casual. You don't want to lead anyone on at this stage. Regarding myself I too have one in my head. I don't know how he got there if I'm going to be honest. It just suddenly happened. It has driven me crazy but I'm getting over it slowly. The guy I'm talking about is not a Capricorn though. If there was a way I could get this particular guy out of my head I would. I think time is what I need and eventually if nothing happens then it wasn't meant to be. Life goes on.

Mystical:

I know what you mean by how they get to your head. The date went okay. I didn't feel any attraction at all, but then again, how could I when I had this one guy on my head the whole time. I truly don't want to lead anyone on at all at this stage. I think for our situation, the best thing we can do is to wait. I have done what I can (he knows I like him, and I have lodged the ball in his court), so all I do is pray and if this is what's meant to happen then it will. In the meantime, life goes on.

Leo-girl-with-cap:

Well, at least you were able to see there was no attraction to this one doctor, but what about the doctor who is interested in you? I know you have this cap guy in your head but it shouldn't rule your life with going out with other people. This cap guy is busy with his agenda for now. The best thing to do is keep yourself busy. I'm doing this myself but it isn't easy either. It's not fair but that's life. You are right if it's meant to be it's meant to be. I've been following that motto for weeks now and still am confused. Hopefully, when your cap guy is done with his exams he'll be more available for you. Life is for living not waiting for somebody. Gosh, I've done the waiting and hoping thing in the past also. Put this down to a lesson you were meant to learn. You know the saying "No gain with pain". Well, in every relationship it takes two. You ain't going to get far without the other person willing to participate. Be patient. I'm being patient also but it's hard so I know what you're going through. Hang in there.

Leo-girl-with-cap:

My quote should say: "No gain without pain". How I dislike making mistakes. Errr...

Mystical:
Thanks for listening... you are so sweet :-). I met both these doctors on an online dating site. They have shown a lot of interest in me. I have been talking to them off and on (a little more since my cap guy disappeared). I met one of them yesterday, and didn't feel any attraction at all, although he still seems interested in me. The other one has an exam at the end of this week and is really keen on seeing me after his exam. I'll give him a shot too. I've seen a few of his pics, he seems nice but doesn't hold a candle to my cappy 😢.
I really hope your thing works out too. And you are right, you can't get very far without the other person willing to participate. Lets just hang in there.

Good for you giving the other doctor a chance. Go out and enjoy yourself. Don't act like you aren't interested because in this life you never know what can happen. Make sure you stay in contact with the first doctor also. Never put all your eggs in one basket. With that I mean don't put all your hopes on this one cap guy. You aren't dating him or anything. If you were than I'd say keep these doctors as friends. I'm an Aquarian so I see everybody as friends, well, I would like for one male to be more than friends but you get my point. I hope my situation also goes well but I have no idea. I think he and I will always be friends but I don't know. He's away at work now and I don't know when I'll hear from him either. Life goes on. Plus I have my studies to get through (I'm a college student) so I'm keeping myself busy. Trying not to think of him at all but it's not easy. Oh, things will get better I know. I just have to live in hope and keep the faith.

I know at least you guys are friends, but does he have any clue at all that you have feelings for him? It's easier for you to try and absorb yourself in college. I used to be able to do that but I graduated from college last year, and after that time period of settling in my job, I feel like I have too much free time on my hands, hence, decided to re-enter the dating world. I keep myself busy with other activities, but my mind keeps going back to him. I've only known him a month and a half (met him on this dating website too), and for the first time in my life, ever felt such a strong connection with someone. I was positive that he felt it too. I feel like I've known him all my life. He's in final year law school and is currently having exams. We had this wonderful and intimate phone conversation one night, and then he disappeared after that. For one week. I sent a few texts which he ignored. I started to feel insecure and panicked and sent out an e-mail asking him if he was seeing other people, and how I've got so many people interested in me but how much I love talking to him.... I guess i was too honest and direct. I didn't hear from him for another week after that. So I sent him another e-mail saying his silence was unacceptable to me and I was calling him that night. This time he returned my e-mail, apologizing profusely for not giving me a reason for his disappearance, and asking me to understand that he needs this time to study. I basically emailed back saying that I totally understand his stress, and just want him to know that I'm not going anywhere. It's been 12 days since then. I'm analyzing and re-analyzing the situation. I keep thinking that maybe I mentioned this whole 'us' thing too early... which could have turned him off. I don't know. I keep praying and hoping for him to come back to me.

Leo-girl-with-cap,

No, he doesn't know I have grown to like him more than I should. You see, I've only gotten to know him for a few months and he was single. That was fine by me. We talked and sent so many text messages to each other. He usually does the calling because when I did he got annoyed with me. He called me particularly every day to check in with me for two months. Then at the end of March I hadn't heard from him for a week. Curiousity got me so I called him to find out what is going on. All of sudden he had a girlfriend. The contact between him and I would have to be less because he has a jealous girlfriend. I found that to be a lame excuse for not contacting me. I wasn't jealous he had a girlfriend either. Therefore I got annoyed because he used his girlfriend as an excuse and ended the friendship with him and he didn't stop me either which was much to my amazement. Then I became so sad (I'll never know why I did, still a mystery to me) and depressed which is not like me at all to be. I really didn't know what to do. I talked to a guy friend of mine and he advised me to take contact with this guy. Two weeks later I called him just to check in with him like nothing had happened. Literally nothing had changed at all. He didn't want to talk then since he was sleeping and he would call me back. I didn't have much faith in he would call me back but to my astonishment he did call back. He really shocked me. He was still going to be in contact with me. When I asked him I thought I'd never hear from him again, he told me he always comes back. I'm not use to that at all that people disappear to just reappear. Turns out he's not happy with his girlfriend either. He's better off alone is what he says. The poor girlfriend because she has to live in the shadow of his ex who hurt him pretty bad. He's now away for work. He has sent me two text messages to which I responded to. I sent him one more back and I have yet to hear from him which is so infuriating. I can guarantee if I ignored (which I have done on occasion so I could give it back) him he would like it. He and I are friends but it's a strange so-called friendship I have to say. Nothing like I have experienced befoe. I think he cares for me in his own weird way like I do him. I don't want to lay it on him either because I'm sure he wouldn't be able to handle it. Therefore he and I will always be friends. That's at least what he has said but I really don't know. Just when I think I know him, he goes and surprises me. Besides, I really don't know when I'll hear from again. Life does go on.

I fully understand the uncertainty you have since you haven't heard from your cap in 12 days. It's so disrespectful when they can't give 2 minutes to check in and find out how you're doing. He knows where he has you since you told him you weren't going anywhere. That's typical for girls to say because they want to reassure the guy. Unfortunately, it looks like the guy interprets that as I'll take contact when I want because she'll be there. I told my guy (which he isn't) I'll always be his friend forever. I notice when I say the friend word with him he always goes silent. Guess he doesn't like me using that word. I use the word friend to protect how I really feel. So this guy of mine doesn't really have a clue regarding me. I'm very subtle though.

Your guy will more than likely come back but in his time. Then you have to decide if you're willing to take him in and hope he doesn't do the disappearing act again.

i don't even know if you all are still on the topic of caps men not calling and the chase BUT I am in a decent 8 monther with a very feral cappy. The first 3-4 months were very hard, I chased like crazy, played games, loved him like a loyal dog and now we actually have full disclosure and open communication. It was hard, hard work but worth it.

So what am I saying? If you truely believe you have the real thing with any of these guys work on it, go for it, BUT my warning is that they will always be their own people, we Taurus(leos) can't own them...be at peace with that first and believe me, its much easier.

Mystical:

Men can be really hard to understand sometimes, cappy or not. His attitude is certainly weird, I remember reading in one of the posts something like a week for women is like a day for men. He may have you in his mind, but he's probably just content with that knowing that you'll be available to him whenever he WANTS, and hence is going about doing his own thing. I would say continue on like this for a a couple of weeks, but when he does get back to you (which he will, in his own time) go out with him and do some fun memorable stuff. The guy seems like a commitment phobic (they just don't know how to handle all the intimacy and responsibility in relationships), if you really see something there, you'll have to suppress all your feelings and keep it casual for now. I know its difficult 😢

Yes you're right, by saying 'i'm not going anywhere' he knows where he has me, hence he's gonna take his sweet time and contact me whenever HE feels like it. It's so disrespectful. I feel like this is my test.

Yes Wheretomylady, I do feel like I have a real thing with this guy, hence, I'm willing to put myself through this bumpy road until we (hopefully) establish better communication and understanding with one another. I just want to be a loyal and honest presence in his life. But my question for you is (since you have already been though this) Do they acknowledge and appreciate this?

Leo-girl-with-cap,

Thank you for your helpful insight. The situation with this guy is a little complicated and therefore he and I are only friends. Before Easter I found out he had a girlfriend which was fine by me. He told me he wasn't happy with her. He lives his life and she lives her life. I do have a couple updates to come with though.

On Wednesday it was close to 8 at night and I was making dinner. I was in the kitchen for about a half an hour. Unfortunately, I had this guy on my mind all day the day before. He always pops up in my mind every day but on Tuesday more so. Anyway, I was busy in the kitchen. When I was done I went to another room which happened to be where my cell phone was (I don't have a habit of carrying a cell phone with me everywhere) and all of a sudden I heard some beeping noise. Turned out it was from my cell phone and that he had called me while I was in kitchen and, of course, with my luck I didn't hear the phone. I couldn't believe it. I've been waiting to hear from him and when he does call I don't have the cell phone with me. How annoying to say the least. I really wasn't sure of what to do as I have been a little peeved at him for not responding to me. Well, I figured the respectful thing to do is to acknowledge I saw he called. I wrote him a text message 2 hours later after I saw he called.

In the message I wrote it was a pleasant surprise to see he called, hope he was doing well, a pity we weren't able to talk but they'll be another time for that, wrote also he does a good job and that I have faith in he'll do well, we'll talk soon.

It's such an up and down situation but I have to trust him when he says I'll hear from him. It looks like he is keeping his promise to me with not letting it go weeks on end before I hear from him. I'm starting to see little by little when he says something he means it which is at times for me to believe regarding the situation.

Forward to today, this guy is sure something else. Haven't heard from since he called me on Wednesday night to which I didn't hear the phone and sent him a text message. Yesterday came and went which was fine. Then at 19.55 my phone started to vibrate. I work in a food store parttime (I?m also a full time student) and I always have my cell phone with because you never know when it comes close to closing hours what can happen. I'm not suppose to have my cell phone with me but I don't care, I'm having it with me just in case. Anyway, my phone vibrated which took me by surprise. When I was done with the customers I checked to see who had called and it was this guy. I was shocked to say the least. I haven't spoken to him in over two weeks now but there have been a few text messages and such. So of course now I wasn't sure of what to do. When I get home do I send a text message or do I call him? Well, I figure why not call him and have him call me back. This is exactly what I did. I called him a half an hour ago. His phone rang a few times and he answered. I said: "Hi, it's me." I could tell he was out at a bar or something because there was a lot of noise and he was telling some guy to lower the music. He said back: "Hi". He did seem a little surprised I called him as I normally don't do that (I send text messages). I replied: "Can you call me back?" He said: "No, he couldn't because he was out". I replied back: "Oh." Then he followed up with: "Are you working tomorrow?" I said: "No, I wasn't working". He said: "I'll call you tomorrow". I said: "Okay". He said: "Bye." I said: "Bye".

Now, I'm confused again like I normally am regarding him. He normally never says no when the few times I have called him to call me back. I think he wants to talk to me without everyone listening to the conversation which I totally understand. I just hope he is being a good boy since he has a girlfriend also. I'm not saying guys can't go out and party because they have every right to do so. I just hope he is