CapGirl
@CapGirl
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Cap Men and Taurus Women (Page 2)
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CapGirl,
I think it's a commitment phobic issue too with them. See mine is 31, he has been in two previous long-term relationships where he said he was really sweet, etc., (how he's supposed to be) and he got burned in them...they just broke his heart, and he said he wasn't going to do that again. I understand, but then again I told him that I wanted him to be that sweet guy to me. He said he doesn't feel like getting hurt again.
I didnt want to be a side dish either. That's why I confronted him when I had the feeling that he was seeing someone else. I wouldn't of had that feeling if he didn't tell me that he was going to that concert with his 'friend'...after that nite I just sensed something was up. What can I do about it tho? Nada! But I made sure I told him that I wasnt going to be his side dish.
I think you should contact him on the 16th. What could it hurt? I heard Caps like it when women remember things like that. It doesn't hurt to try though! What can be the worst? Him not reply? Yeah, that'd be bad, but if that happens just reassure yourself that u r the better person! But if you feel like you shouldn't, by all means go with your heart. I'm kind of nervous about calling mine on that day, but then again I might as well! He will be shocked I know. Ok, what happens if I call him and he doesn't answer? That would suck, would I leave it on voicemail or what? He might not answer because it's me...lol...no that's not funny, that would make me sad!
I really don't know if he's testing me right now or not. If he is, then I'm passing and he's shocked as hell, but if he's not testing, then it's just helping me deal with it and move on!
I think it's a commitment phobic issue too with them. See mine is 31, he has been in two previous long-term relationships where he said he was really sweet, etc., (how he's supposed to be) and he got burned in them...they just broke his heart, and he said he wasn't going to do that again. I understand, but then again I told him that I wanted him to be that sweet guy to me. He said he doesn't feel like getting hurt again.
I didnt want to be a side dish either. That's why I confronted him when I had the feeling that he was seeing someone else. I wouldn't of had that feeling if he didn't tell me that he was going to that concert with his 'friend'...after that nite I just sensed something was up. What can I do about it tho? Nada! But I made sure I told him that I wasnt going to be his side dish.
I think you should contact him on the 16th. What could it hurt? I heard Caps like it when women remember things like that. It doesn't hurt to try though! What can be the worst? Him not reply? Yeah, that'd be bad, but if that happens just reassure yourself that u r the better person! But if you feel like you shouldn't, by all means go with your heart. I'm kind of nervous about calling mine on that day, but then again I might as well! He will be shocked I know. Ok, what happens if I call him and he doesn't answer? That would suck, would I leave it on voicemail or what? He might not answer because it's me...lol...no that's not funny, that would make me sad!
I really don't know if he's testing me right now or not. If he is, then I'm passing and he's shocked as hell, but if he's not testing, then it's just helping me deal with it and move on!
Onefineaquarius,
I agree...I like the games, as long as you keep them to a minimum and that they don't get out of hand. If they are going to test us, then we need to test them right back. It's crazy in the dating world these days, but you gotta do, what you have to do.
I agree...I like the games, as long as you keep them to a minimum and that they don't get out of hand. If they are going to test us, then we need to test them right back. It's crazy in the dating world these days, but you gotta do, what you have to do.
I don't trust very easily either. That is one of my major weaknesses. My Cap used to tell me all the time that I didn't trust him. I'm just watching out for myself tho. He was one of the guys that I actually could trust tho.
Game playing is part of the dating game...so it's ok, and it's fun and exciting to some extent.
Game playing is part of the dating game...so it's ok, and it's fun and exciting to some extent.
Mycap and capgirl,
My cappies bday is the 15th, so between the three of us we have the 15, 16, and 17th covered! funny! Anyway my cap was the same about calling/texting all the time in the beginning and then leaving it all up to me. Finally one time I told him I wasn;t going to call anymore, he said fine and called the next couple times. I really feel you need to be a bossy bull sometimes with these guys.
Mycap, I think this isn't over because i know how cap men are, did I tell you my sister was involved with a cap 10 years ago and he just wrote her a letter last year that she was the love of his life and he should have done more with her when he could have? ten years! My sister was touched but she laughted pretty hard (she is also a cappy). These guys seem to think that romance is doomed, and that it has to involve drama and that anything good will end...they are a pessimistic bunch, hence the fact many of them fall into 'depressions'.
My cappies bday is the 15th, so between the three of us we have the 15, 16, and 17th covered! funny! Anyway my cap was the same about calling/texting all the time in the beginning and then leaving it all up to me. Finally one time I told him I wasn;t going to call anymore, he said fine and called the next couple times. I really feel you need to be a bossy bull sometimes with these guys.
Mycap, I think this isn't over because i know how cap men are, did I tell you my sister was involved with a cap 10 years ago and he just wrote her a letter last year that she was the love of his life and he should have done more with her when he could have? ten years! My sister was touched but she laughted pretty hard (she is also a cappy). These guys seem to think that romance is doomed, and that it has to involve drama and that anything good will end...they are a pessimistic bunch, hence the fact many of them fall into 'depressions'.
MyCap~~ I'd leave a voicemail on his bday if he doesn't answer. Short and sweet. Are you kidding? This Cap. of mine (I don't know why I'm calling him that when he's so far from mine, it's laughable) he rarely picks up on my calls but will return it in his own sweet time. So if he were to pick up, I'd be thrown for a loop. But I'd leave a msg. saying "happy birthday" and whatnot. Me, being a Cap.,... last year, he called on my bday in the evening and didn't leave a msg. Well, I didn't call him back- Later, I asked him if he was calling to... wish me happy bday? And he said 'yes' and I said, "azzhole, you could've left a msg.-- happy birthday, bye..." So, take it from that and me- I'd leave a msg.
Wow- 31 and the 2 past failed relationships- that all confirms for me that he's scared. Do you know his moon/venus/mars placements? And wondering if Wheretomylady knows her Cap.'s? This guy's is Sag/Pisces/Cap. and mine is Sag/Cap/Pisces.
I hate the games! I was married for 3 years, and with my ex for 3 yrs. before marriage, so this whole dating scene is horrendeus to me. I mean... how long do the games have to continue, if it's clear that both sides are pretty smitten? I'm 35 and just don't have time to be messed with for fun...which is a big part of why I've bailed.
Wow- 31 and the 2 past failed relationships- that all confirms for me that he's scared. Do you know his moon/venus/mars placements? And wondering if Wheretomylady knows her Cap.'s? This guy's is Sag/Pisces/Cap. and mine is Sag/Cap/Pisces.
I hate the games! I was married for 3 years, and with my ex for 3 yrs. before marriage, so this whole dating scene is horrendeus to me. I mean... how long do the games have to continue, if it's clear that both sides are pretty smitten? I'm 35 and just don't have time to be messed with for fun...which is a big part of why I've bailed.
Mr Cappy, aka "the man-child's" astrology is: moon Sag, mercury cap, venus aquarius. I am moon aquarius, Venus Taurus, Mercury Taurus, Mars Leo, Pisces Rising.
I am almost 30 and he is younger than me. I agree, dating blows, and I refuse to take part in any form.
My cappy hasn't had any serious relationships since HS...yes its true, he has stayed away from women for the most part. He tried to stay away from me but I twisted his arm, I was very persistant and bossy with a kind and loving edge to it. Even though we are very close, he tries to pull away, but I latch on and stand right with him, and focus him to open up, and give him hugs. I don't let his shit get in the way of my life and my love for him and I tell him so.
My two cents:
I have to say that men are using the "getting hurt thing" how many times have we been hurt? Ladies? Multiple right? But we are still open to love...we dont throw being hurt around as an excuse to be a complete and utter insensitive nut!!!
I am almost 30 and he is younger than me. I agree, dating blows, and I refuse to take part in any form.
My cappy hasn't had any serious relationships since HS...yes its true, he has stayed away from women for the most part. He tried to stay away from me but I twisted his arm, I was very persistant and bossy with a kind and loving edge to it. Even though we are very close, he tries to pull away, but I latch on and stand right with him, and focus him to open up, and give him hugs. I don't let his shit get in the way of my life and my love for him and I tell him so.
My two cents:
I have to say that men are using the "getting hurt thing" how many times have we been hurt? Ladies? Multiple right? But we are still open to love...we dont throw being hurt around as an excuse to be a complete and utter insensitive nut!!!
Thanks ladies for helping me out...ya'll just have to realize that I'm very scared, scared that I'm going to lose him for good. I hate that feeling...anyhow, I'm being as patient with this as I can.
Just as I've said I'm letting it go for now, as he hasn't and probably won't reply to my email...no biggie, at least he knows how I feel and I got it off my chest! I feel a lot better, by the way.
I don't really sit down ever and say, hey I'm going to play games w/this Cap...I just let it flow. If he does something, I'll think huh, I'll do this/that in return to play with him a little bit, so I don't take it to extremes by no means...but ur right, once it gets to feeling like high school, then that's when you need to rethink what the hell you are doing! We r too old for that!
That's funny wheretomylady about our cappies birthdays! I'll take CapGirls advice and leave him a message if he doesn't answer...I'd be shocked out of my mind if he actually did answer tho. But I'll keep it short and sweet, afterall Im just calling to tell him happy bday.
Wheretomylady, that's crazy about ur sisters cappie...man 10 yrs, that's a long time. I don't know right now if ur thinking on him coming back is true (not that I"m really doubting you and that ur wrong...lol), but at this point and time I just can't see it. I can only 'hope' for that to be the case tho! I'd love it. I'm hoping one morning he'll wake up and realize, that again is only wishful thinking!
And CapGirl, him being 31, I know his case is that he's scared, I tried to reassure him that I wanted him to be that sweet guy and that I wouldn't hurt him, but actions speak louder than words, but I couldn't prove it to him because obviously he didn't keep going and give me that chance...oh and also I have no idea what his placements are. How do I find those out again?
Just as I've said I'm letting it go for now, as he hasn't and probably won't reply to my email...no biggie, at least he knows how I feel and I got it off my chest! I feel a lot better, by the way.
I don't really sit down ever and say, hey I'm going to play games w/this Cap...I just let it flow. If he does something, I'll think huh, I'll do this/that in return to play with him a little bit, so I don't take it to extremes by no means...but ur right, once it gets to feeling like high school, then that's when you need to rethink what the hell you are doing! We r too old for that!
That's funny wheretomylady about our cappies birthdays! I'll take CapGirls advice and leave him a message if he doesn't answer...I'd be shocked out of my mind if he actually did answer tho. But I'll keep it short and sweet, afterall Im just calling to tell him happy bday.
Wheretomylady, that's crazy about ur sisters cappie...man 10 yrs, that's a long time. I don't know right now if ur thinking on him coming back is true (not that I"m really doubting you and that ur wrong...lol), but at this point and time I just can't see it. I can only 'hope' for that to be the case tho! I'd love it. I'm hoping one morning he'll wake up and realize, that again is only wishful thinking!
And CapGirl, him being 31, I know his case is that he's scared, I tried to reassure him that I wanted him to be that sweet guy and that I wouldn't hurt him, but actions speak louder than words, but I couldn't prove it to him because obviously he didn't keep going and give me that chance...oh and also I have no idea what his placements are. How do I find those out again?
Looks like we are both online. I threw his info 01/17/74 into one of the online astrology sites I got moon in Scorpio, Mer and venus in Aquarius. Here is what they say:
Capricorn/Scorpio
The combination of your Sun sign and your Moon sign produces in you an extremely strong inner drive and a keen sense of your own importance as an individual. A certain rigid inner pride keeps your self-respect always at a high level. Early on, temperament may be a problem, but as you mature cooperation is learned and a judicial and rather stern nature rules the personality. A very reserved individual, you often express yourself in quiet ways, always remaining perfectly capable of communicating disapproval without saying even a word. Most people think of you as a very reasonable person and in may ways you are. It is very difficult, however, to ever persuade you that you are wrong because of a highly inflexible core within. Often you may use the tactic of appearing not to understand the other person's point of view, even when it is quite clear to you. You are very honorable, loyal, and devoted, with a keen sense of the sobriety of life, and of your duty as a part of it. Right or wrong, you hold to your first impressions of people, especially if those first impressions were not good. You are a very understanding of people and their problems, and while you usually can remain very much detached, you are a good listener and provide sound advice. Emotions never seem to interfere with your reasoning power.
Capricorn/Scorpio
The combination of your Sun sign and your Moon sign produces in you an extremely strong inner drive and a keen sense of your own importance as an individual. A certain rigid inner pride keeps your self-respect always at a high level. Early on, temperament may be a problem, but as you mature cooperation is learned and a judicial and rather stern nature rules the personality. A very reserved individual, you often express yourself in quiet ways, always remaining perfectly capable of communicating disapproval without saying even a word. Most people think of you as a very reasonable person and in may ways you are. It is very difficult, however, to ever persuade you that you are wrong because of a highly inflexible core within. Often you may use the tactic of appearing not to understand the other person's point of view, even when it is quite clear to you. You are very honorable, loyal, and devoted, with a keen sense of the sobriety of life, and of your duty as a part of it. Right or wrong, you hold to your first impressions of people, especially if those first impressions were not good. You are a very understanding of people and their problems, and while you usually can remain very much detached, you are a good listener and provide sound advice. Emotions never seem to interfere with your reasoning power.
yes we are both online...
Man, that sounds exactly like him, hard to believe! Thanks for doing that for me! Now the question is how do I get him to let me show him how much I care about him....hmmm...a rhetorical question I presume!!
Man, that sounds exactly like him, hard to believe! Thanks for doing that for me! Now the question is how do I get him to let me show him how much I care about him....hmmm...a rhetorical question I presume!!
Shot that's a tough chart to crack, he must be really withdrawn, and into himself, I bet he expresses himself through touch, more than with words. This guy thinks he knows everything about everyone in his life because he dwells on first impressions.
Do you think you can change that? What type of impression do you think he has of you?
Do you think you can change that? What type of impression do you think he has of you?
Taurus and Capricorn
On their first meeting Capricorns see Taureans as a kindred spirit who is as serious about life as themselves but with a real passion attached. Taureans see Capricorns as totally in control with their emotions alluringly out of reach. Both signs have a passionate nature so there will be an instant sexual attraction between them. Capricorns will find Taureans a bit too obsessed with the pleasures of life but still find them hard to resist. Taureans will find Capricorns clever, calm and practical, an ideal mate.
Sexually they are extremely well matched because although the Taurean enjoys sex it has to be leading to something more permanent, pleasure attached to security with a long term future. The Capricorn also sees sex in this way, something showing commitment and not to be entered into lightly. This sounds like the perfect match and it certainly has that potential.as both are determined to succeed in life and have a practical, cautious nature. The only problem is that the Taurean is more interested in sex than the Capricorn who can survive on security and friendship alone.
Capricorns want to master and Taureans want to have but both are looking for commitment. This combination can be one of the best especially if they both have planets like Venus (love) and Mars (desires) in compatible signs. If not it may be that the Capricorn's lack of emotions causes arguments and the Taurean stubbornness takes over leaving them with differences they can not resolve. However, if they are prepared to work at it Taureans can learn to be more understanding of another point of view and Capricorns can learn to be less serious and have more fun. back to Relationships
On their first meeting Capricorns see Taureans as a kindred spirit who is as serious about life as themselves but with a real passion attached. Taureans see Capricorns as totally in control with their emotions alluringly out of reach. Both signs have a passionate nature so there will be an instant sexual attraction between them. Capricorns will find Taureans a bit too obsessed with the pleasures of life but still find them hard to resist. Taureans will find Capricorns clever, calm and practical, an ideal mate.
Sexually they are extremely well matched because although the Taurean enjoys sex it has to be leading to something more permanent, pleasure attached to security with a long term future. The Capricorn also sees sex in this way, something showing commitment and not to be entered into lightly. This sounds like the perfect match and it certainly has that potential.as both are determined to succeed in life and have a practical, cautious nature. The only problem is that the Taurean is more interested in sex than the Capricorn who can survive on security and friendship alone.
Capricorns want to master and Taureans want to have but both are looking for commitment. This combination can be one of the best especially if they both have planets like Venus (love) and Mars (desires) in compatible signs. If not it may be that the Capricorn's lack of emotions causes arguments and the Taurean stubbornness takes over leaving them with differences they can not resolve. However, if they are prepared to work at it Taureans can learn to be more understanding of another point of view and Capricorns can learn to be less serious and have more fun. back to Relationships
Ewwww... moon in scorpio- that's not the greatest. My ex-husband had that placement and a former good friend of mine, who was very into astrology and did our charts, seriously warned me not to get involved w/ him bc. of this!!! I didn't listen to her; we ended up losing touch when I married him. But really, he didn't turn out to be a bad guy or evil- And we're still friends. That placement is known for holding grudges and keeping secrets.
I don't know why mine doesn't try to make things right w/ me by calling. I guess he tried when I saw him a month ago, but I was too stomping mad to even look at him.
MyCap~ I just read this thread on askmen that a guy posted about revealing his feelings to a girl. All of the men, and even one woman were responding not to do that, and to tell or let her think you're confused if you tell her anything! Basically, they said to show not tell. The whole reason was that the girl would lose interest, you'll like a wuss, etc. If you don't mind sharing, what exactly did you say to your Cap. in your email and did you specifically ask him how he felt and say that you needed certain things or to know these things? Mine had even asked me a couple weeks prior what did I want, and that I needed to tell him bc. he didn't know. So, then I went and did that, and got screwed.
I don't know why mine doesn't try to make things right w/ me by calling. I guess he tried when I saw him a month ago, but I was too stomping mad to even look at him.
MyCap~ I just read this thread on askmen that a guy posted about revealing his feelings to a girl. All of the men, and even one woman were responding not to do that, and to tell or let her think you're confused if you tell her anything! Basically, they said to show not tell. The whole reason was that the girl would lose interest, you'll like a wuss, etc. If you don't mind sharing, what exactly did you say to your Cap. in your email and did you specifically ask him how he felt and say that you needed certain things or to know these things? Mine had even asked me a couple weeks prior what did I want, and that I needed to tell him bc. he didn't know. So, then I went and did that, and got screwed.
"Shot that's a tough chart to crack, he must be really withdrawn, and into himself, I bet he expresses himself through touch, more than with words. This guy thinks he knows everything about everyone in his life because he dwells on first impressions."
If that isn't him to a T, wheretomylady, then I don't know what else is...those two sentences are him exactly! And looking through the taurus/cap thing you provided, that is true also. We were very well sexually attracted to each other!! That was one great thing about us. We even talked about that one time. It was amazing! But there has to be more to it than just that tho! Too bad!!..LOL
CapGirl,
I didn't really ask him how he felt in the email. I stated how I felt, and where I thought the problem was with us (didnt say it was him) and just kind of explained some things to him. I guess that is true, that if a guy admits to a girl how he feels, then there is nothing more to look forward to because you already know how he feels and what he wants. See when they don't tell us, that's what keeps it interesting at the beginning and for a while; waking up each day wondering how he feels, what's going to happen next, etc...that's thrilling, at least for me it is. I liked that part about this Cap because he did show in his actions and touch how much he cared although i never knew what exactly he wanted. But I got to a point in the relationship where I needed to know. The thrill was wearing off, and it was because I truly knew I was interested in having something long term with him. Other guys I've dated 'briefly' would tell me straight up after a couple of dates, that they really like me and want to actually date me or have me as their girlfriend; that's when I'd run. See I think I have commitment phobic issues, but then again I could just know deep down inside that that certain person I couldnt see myself being with long term. But with this Cap that I was seeing I had very strong feelings for him, and that's why I needed to know where it was going...and with that it was going downhill.
If that isn't him to a T, wheretomylady, then I don't know what else is...those two sentences are him exactly! And looking through the taurus/cap thing you provided, that is true also. We were very well sexually attracted to each other!! That was one great thing about us. We even talked about that one time. It was amazing! But there has to be more to it than just that tho! Too bad!!..LOL
CapGirl,
I didn't really ask him how he felt in the email. I stated how I felt, and where I thought the problem was with us (didnt say it was him) and just kind of explained some things to him. I guess that is true, that if a guy admits to a girl how he feels, then there is nothing more to look forward to because you already know how he feels and what he wants. See when they don't tell us, that's what keeps it interesting at the beginning and for a while; waking up each day wondering how he feels, what's going to happen next, etc...that's thrilling, at least for me it is. I liked that part about this Cap because he did show in his actions and touch how much he cared although i never knew what exactly he wanted. But I got to a point in the relationship where I needed to know. The thrill was wearing off, and it was because I truly knew I was interested in having something long term with him. Other guys I've dated 'briefly' would tell me straight up after a couple of dates, that they really like me and want to actually date me or have me as their girlfriend; that's when I'd run. See I think I have commitment phobic issues, but then again I could just know deep down inside that that certain person I couldnt see myself being with long term. But with this Cap that I was seeing I had very strong feelings for him, and that's why I needed to know where it was going...and with that it was going downhill.
Not telling how you feel will keep them interested
Thanks for the great advice, I have been doing this without even knowing it was the right thing...I have to laugh ladies but we got in this small fight a couple months ago and I told him, "I don't know where this is going but I have warm, positive feelings for you".....he looked at me all weird and repeated what I said...with this half-laughing confused look. That was 1.5 months ago and I haven't said anything since....we did go for drinks and he asked me to tell him what I wanted...then he changed his mind after I stared at him for 15 seconds just smiling.
So the key perhaps with these cappies is to be more mysterious than they are, watch the way they behave and match them, for example my cappy was always leaving in the morning, getting dressed and running, so I did it to him one day.,..it killed me but I got up at 7am and starting putting on my clothes, he woke up and grabbed my arm, "where are you going?" I said home and made up a really good excuse, and he said he wanted me to stay...I said, "No, I have to go, and besides you do this to me all the time...." that was the last time he tried to leave early...
Bottom line, Capricorns like some drama, they have a very hollywood verision of love/romance, you have to play the game a little bit. Remember they are kind of boring, fixed, rule followers, what they like about us girls is that we spice up their life, but it needs to be in a predictable way that they understand, they think they understand romance and love because they watch movies (HA!)they also have really deep feelings they are afraid to share so really they are like Nate on Six Feet Under, or he would a character they really emphasize(sp?) with, drama, but carefully controlled drama....wow I sound like Freud.
Thanks for the great advice, I have been doing this without even knowing it was the right thing...I have to laugh ladies but we got in this small fight a couple months ago and I told him, "I don't know where this is going but I have warm, positive feelings for you".....he looked at me all weird and repeated what I said...with this half-laughing confused look. That was 1.5 months ago and I haven't said anything since....we did go for drinks and he asked me to tell him what I wanted...then he changed his mind after I stared at him for 15 seconds just smiling.
So the key perhaps with these cappies is to be more mysterious than they are, watch the way they behave and match them, for example my cappy was always leaving in the morning, getting dressed and running, so I did it to him one day.,..it killed me but I got up at 7am and starting putting on my clothes, he woke up and grabbed my arm, "where are you going?" I said home and made up a really good excuse, and he said he wanted me to stay...I said, "No, I have to go, and besides you do this to me all the time...." that was the last time he tried to leave early...
Bottom line, Capricorns like some drama, they have a very hollywood verision of love/romance, you have to play the game a little bit. Remember they are kind of boring, fixed, rule followers, what they like about us girls is that we spice up their life, but it needs to be in a predictable way that they understand, they think they understand romance and love because they watch movies (HA!)they also have really deep feelings they are afraid to share so really they are like Nate on Six Feet Under, or he would a character they really emphasize(sp?) with, drama, but carefully controlled drama....wow I sound like Freud.
yeah, i agreee, they do like it when we are mysterious...
one time I went to my Caps, and he had to leave early that morning for an event, would only be gone an hr, so I stayed there at his house. He gets back and I'm gone. I think it shocked him because I always stay for a while at his house no matter what. So he called me when he got back home, I told him I just left and he said, oh i just got home, we just missed each other. Then later on that day, he called and asked me to come over. It was crazy how that worked. But he was probably wondering if I left because I had somewhere else to be or something.
one time I went to my Caps, and he had to leave early that morning for an event, would only be gone an hr, so I stayed there at his house. He gets back and I'm gone. I think it shocked him because I always stay for a while at his house no matter what. So he called me when he got back home, I told him I just left and he said, oh i just got home, we just missed each other. Then later on that day, he called and asked me to come over. It was crazy how that worked. But he was probably wondering if I left because I had somewhere else to be or something.
So, no word yet, MyCap?
They do like drama, just like Wheretomylady described. Mine once claimed not to like the female drama, when we were watching "The Bachelor" one time. But yet when we were out with other people, he was always trying to provoke me and push my buttons for some emotional outburst. And I'm just not like that- one, I was onto what he was doing, and two, I maintain appearances, particularly in public.
I obviously still thinking about that little rat!
They do like drama, just like Wheretomylady described. Mine once claimed not to like the female drama, when we were watching "The Bachelor" one time. But yet when we were out with other people, he was always trying to provoke me and push my buttons for some emotional outburst. And I'm just not like that- one, I was onto what he was doing, and two, I maintain appearances, particularly in public.
I obviously still thinking about that little rat!
CapGirl,
Hey, hope you had a good holiday....
anyhow, nope no progress with my Cap. I did text him the other day...to make a long story short, and without going into too much detail. I know some people whom he knows also. So anyhow, this other guy (not friends with Cap) was talking to me on Thurs and I was talking about me and my Cap's relationshp and all this...he said something about my Cap seeing others. I thought no, he wouldnt do that...and then this guy precedes to tell me that another girl this guy works with, which is married to my caps best friend, and that she has mentioned other girls names involving my cap...I thought hmmm...but still I do believe my Cap when he tells me he was faithful to me.
So anyhow after that I felt just kind of weird about it, so I text my cap and tell him I feel like a flippin idiot because he was seeing others while we were together (I shouldnt have said that) and that I would have liked to have heard it from him and not others...he replies, "believe what u want, I'm tired of answering to this bulls% *t....so I told him that he needs to be careful who he tells stuff too, then he replies again and says "again believe what u want, I know the truth and that's all that matters to me. bye bye"...I was like what an a# $ hole...I replied and said "u don't have to be an a# $ hole about it." He never replied.
I honestly think we r thru. I mean, he was crappy with me with the texts, which I can see because I was accusing him, but still.
I just don't want to be too overwhelming to him or I would pick up the phone and call him. I, again, don't know where to move to from here. I always have his birthday, but I feel then if I call him, we will just get off the phone after that and nothing will progress with us.
Hey, hope you had a good holiday....
anyhow, nope no progress with my Cap. I did text him the other day...to make a long story short, and without going into too much detail. I know some people whom he knows also. So anyhow, this other guy (not friends with Cap) was talking to me on Thurs and I was talking about me and my Cap's relationshp and all this...he said something about my Cap seeing others. I thought no, he wouldnt do that...and then this guy precedes to tell me that another girl this guy works with, which is married to my caps best friend, and that she has mentioned other girls names involving my cap...I thought hmmm...but still I do believe my Cap when he tells me he was faithful to me.
So anyhow after that I felt just kind of weird about it, so I text my cap and tell him I feel like a flippin idiot because he was seeing others while we were together (I shouldnt have said that) and that I would have liked to have heard it from him and not others...he replies, "believe what u want, I'm tired of answering to this bulls% *t....so I told him that he needs to be careful who he tells stuff too, then he replies again and says "again believe what u want, I know the truth and that's all that matters to me. bye bye"...I was like what an a# $ hole...I replied and said "u don't have to be an a# $ hole about it." He never replied.
I honestly think we r thru. I mean, he was crappy with me with the texts, which I can see because I was accusing him, but still.
I just don't want to be too overwhelming to him or I would pick up the phone and call him. I, again, don't know where to move to from here. I always have his birthday, but I feel then if I call him, we will just get off the phone after that and nothing will progress with us.
mycap, just got back from xmas and saw your post. Wow, talk about drama! You think he may have been seeing other people? Can you recall if he had the time?From what you said it sounded like he worked weird hours...
Its better to do all that kind of talking face to face, txting and emailing is not a good place to discuss such serious matters...I don't know if there is anyway to heal the void but I recommend actually talking to him. Don't be afraid of cappies there are just little softies inside. But put technology aside and do it the old fashioned way, I never discuss serious things over the phone, seeing someone in person is so much more powerful, this is where the taurus woman rules!
Its better to do all that kind of talking face to face, txting and emailing is not a good place to discuss such serious matters...I don't know if there is anyway to heal the void but I recommend actually talking to him. Don't be afraid of cappies there are just little softies inside. But put technology aside and do it the old fashioned way, I never discuss serious things over the phone, seeing someone in person is so much more powerful, this is where the taurus woman rules!
MyCap:
I hate to see what I see in you.. I see "the old me" in you.. See.. I was with a Cap for 7 years. He had at least 10 other girls in the first year we were together. I thought we were in love. But I was, he wasn't. There were many signs I could say he must have had something else going on, but no evidence. Then later I found out something he had been lying. He denied everything. Even these days he denies everything. But he also said that it was a long time ago, that we were not in love ( he was the first saying he loved me) etc... lots of excuses and no regretting, no apologizing.. He thinks he didn't do anything wrong.
We had been together for 7 years when I found out he was married with someone else. And he had met his wife in another country the time I was 6 months pregnant. And I trusted him. But that's what I got from it. I don't trust a guy that easily anymore. What is hard in loving is that you don't see clearly what guys are doing. They are not that trustable.. Some guys are ok, I guess, but being cautious is not bad at all when you are dealing with guys.
Good luck, MyCap, I hope you figure it what's best for you..
I hate to see what I see in you.. I see "the old me" in you.. See.. I was with a Cap for 7 years. He had at least 10 other girls in the first year we were together. I thought we were in love. But I was, he wasn't. There were many signs I could say he must have had something else going on, but no evidence. Then later I found out something he had been lying. He denied everything. Even these days he denies everything. But he also said that it was a long time ago, that we were not in love ( he was the first saying he loved me) etc... lots of excuses and no regretting, no apologizing.. He thinks he didn't do anything wrong.
We had been together for 7 years when I found out he was married with someone else. And he had met his wife in another country the time I was 6 months pregnant. And I trusted him. But that's what I got from it. I don't trust a guy that easily anymore. What is hard in loving is that you don't see clearly what guys are doing. They are not that trustable.. Some guys are ok, I guess, but being cautious is not bad at all when you are dealing with guys.
Good luck, MyCap, I hope you figure it what's best for you..
Oh boy, MyCap, what a jerk! He responds to that, and in that manner, and not to the other (the email). My opinion at this point is that you leave him alone, which really was my original thought (back on page 4 or 5)... If he wants you, let him come after you. It's hard to think that they're dating that many, yet can remember all the details and can quote us back word-for-word.
I'm not going to give mine the satisfaction of acknowledging his bday... For me, I can't risk another "set-back" with how far I've come. Even if he did appreciate the thought and contact me, there's no reason to believe the games would stop, and I can't go through this all over again. And at least this way, if he ever had the nerve to try and call after all this time, I could still be like, "What DOooooo you want??!! Why are you calling me—" But that's just my deal...very tired and done.
I'm not going to give mine the satisfaction of acknowledging his bday... For me, I can't risk another "set-back" with how far I've come. Even if he did appreciate the thought and contact me, there's no reason to believe the games would stop, and I can't go through this all over again. And at least this way, if he ever had the nerve to try and call after all this time, I could still be like, "What DOooooo you want??!! Why are you calling me—" But that's just my deal...very tired and done.
wheretomylady,
I don't recall him having the time to see others. You know how I mentioned his messed up hours at work, and then he seen me during the times that he was off, but it still doesn't mean that he didn't see others while he was working and talk to others too. I really don't think that he did, but u just never know. You can never be too careful tho.
I know I should have talked to him face to face about it. If I would have tried to tho, he would have said that we are done, so what's it matter if he did it or not. Or what would be the point in discussing it if we r thru.
I think Im going to take CapGirls opinion and just back off and let it go. If he wants me, he can come to me. I'm tired of chasing him and not getting anywhere. It just makes me feel even more like sh $ t.
Dang, sweet&sour, that's a crazy story about ur Cap. I heard that Caps are the most loyal people, but just as they said not all are alike. MIne never told me he loved me but I could just see it in his eyes. He could say it without words. But I guess it just wasn't enough.
It's sad that I have to tell myself that I need to move on and try and tell myself that he's never going to come back and that I'm never going to be with him again. It hurts and it's hard to take. I really had a rough day on Christmas, wishing that he were there with me and all that. It was just really hard to do. But I made it thru.
I still haven't decided if I'm going to call him on his bday or not. Right now I think maybe it wouldnt hurt, but then again it might slide me back when i'm trying to move on. So I guess I'll see how I feel then
I don't recall him having the time to see others. You know how I mentioned his messed up hours at work, and then he seen me during the times that he was off, but it still doesn't mean that he didn't see others while he was working and talk to others too. I really don't think that he did, but u just never know. You can never be too careful tho.
I know I should have talked to him face to face about it. If I would have tried to tho, he would have said that we are done, so what's it matter if he did it or not. Or what would be the point in discussing it if we r thru.
I think Im going to take CapGirls opinion and just back off and let it go. If he wants me, he can come to me. I'm tired of chasing him and not getting anywhere. It just makes me feel even more like sh $ t.
Dang, sweet&sour, that's a crazy story about ur Cap. I heard that Caps are the most loyal people, but just as they said not all are alike. MIne never told me he loved me but I could just see it in his eyes. He could say it without words. But I guess it just wasn't enough.
It's sad that I have to tell myself that I need to move on and try and tell myself that he's never going to come back and that I'm never going to be with him again. It hurts and it's hard to take. I really had a rough day on Christmas, wishing that he were there with me and all that. It was just really hard to do. But I made it thru.
I still haven't decided if I'm going to call him on his bday or not. Right now I think maybe it wouldnt hurt, but then again it might slide me back when i'm trying to move on. So I guess I'll see how I feel then
I know what you mean, MyCap, about that "look" in their eyes. It kills me- Back in July, he and I hadn't really been talking; we ran into each other in our apt. bldg.; I was moving out that weekend and we were talking a bit about it. We went to say goodbye, backing away from each other, and the look in his eyes just killed me. I think in part he thought that was it, and bc. I was moving out, that he wouldn't hear from me anymore. Two days later, I texted him that I wanted to see him and have him over once I got settled in to my new place... Called him a week later, and he was calling me the next day 4 times in one aftn. But little did I know back then, he was still waiting for me to bring up the invite again when he called, and I was waiting for him to just take me up on it. Things just could NOT come together... We beat around the bush for 3 months after that and he still has never seen my new place!! The timing was always off, or I was mad- SO difficult. The only thing that could pull this out of the trash dumpster would be if he miraculously remembered MY birthday, coming up in 9 days! Even if he had it written down, for this shy, insecure type to step out on a limb and DO something with the info. would be exposing himself far too much I'm sure! Sorry, crabby, PMS!
I know what u mean. My Cap used to call me or vice versa and we would beat around the bush many times. Sometimes he would call me, talk about stuff for almost an hr and then finally mention that he was just going to be hangin out at home and if I wanted I could come over. Well if he would have just stepped out and told me that at the beginning of the conversation then I could have been over there earlier and talked to him. I never asked him to come see my place. I always felt that if I did he would say no or something. Then after we ended it, he told me that I never asked him to come over, etc. It was crazy that all along he was thinking it, and I was too, but the communication just wasn't there. These caps need someone who isn't shy and is capable of just coming out and being straightforward with them. HIm and I were the same in that respect, we just didn't ask each other. But I guess I'm kind of old school in that regards thinking the guy should take the initiative on those things. I'm used to the guys I date asking me if they can come over. It doesn't bother me when they do that because I don't know if they want to unless they ask. We realized a lot of our issues and communicated our feelings a lot more once it was over. We should have done it while together.
I wish to God I could have a miracle right now and he'd contact me and we could get the ball rolling again and start things over fresh, and now I'd know how to handle it. All I want is another chance. I know we would work together, it's just getting us back on track again.
CapGirl,
Maybe ur Cap will contact you on your bday but then again you made a good point about exposing himself. They are like that. It's like it just kills them to make some kind of contact like that.
I wish to God I could have a miracle right now and he'd contact me and we could get the ball rolling again and start things over fresh, and now I'd know how to handle it. All I want is another chance. I know we would work together, it's just getting us back on track again.
CapGirl,
Maybe ur Cap will contact you on your bday but then again you made a good point about exposing himself. They are like that. It's like it just kills them to make some kind of contact like that.
I was looking at some posts on yahoo-capricorns and saw some great advice:
"capricorns are attrached to strong and distant woman". That is me in a nutshell and my cappy totally loves me. I can do without a lot , I don't need words, and i don't take shit. When he messes up I go straight to him and confront him in a very firm, brief manner, he always changes and listens. I reward him but telling him how much I appreciate him listening to me and caring about what I think/say.
So Mycap, I am gonna break it to you, just like Capgirl did. You have got to move on, have a good cry, and delete his number from your cell phone, go out with some good friends and start looking for someone new. I seriously think this guy is no good, and its not all his capricorn tendancies, its his "man" tendancies. (read the book "he's just not into you.")
If he has never been to your place, you never went out together, you never talked, he never told his mother about you....these are all signs that he was just using you for sex. My capricorn takes me out, comes over all the time, told his mother and father about me...capricorns are just the sane as all men in the end, either they are ready to be intimate with you or they are closed off.
"capricorns are attrached to strong and distant woman". That is me in a nutshell and my cappy totally loves me. I can do without a lot , I don't need words, and i don't take shit. When he messes up I go straight to him and confront him in a very firm, brief manner, he always changes and listens. I reward him but telling him how much I appreciate him listening to me and caring about what I think/say.
So Mycap, I am gonna break it to you, just like Capgirl did. You have got to move on, have a good cry, and delete his number from your cell phone, go out with some good friends and start looking for someone new. I seriously think this guy is no good, and its not all his capricorn tendancies, its his "man" tendancies. (read the book "he's just not into you.")
If he has never been to your place, you never went out together, you never talked, he never told his mother about you....these are all signs that he was just using you for sex. My capricorn takes me out, comes over all the time, told his mother and father about me...capricorns are just the sane as all men in the end, either they are ready to be intimate with you or they are closed off.
You're not alone, MyCap. I am doing and have been doing the same as recommended by Wheretomylady, with the moving on. I'm just looking at getting past January with it right now. Maybe do the same and think of it that way. You are showing your strength, and take no 'butter' by doing this, so it is only for the best either way.
Yeah I know it's best for me to move on and I'm not holding my life back thinking he's just going to come back. I know I have to keep moving forward. But it's just hard. But everyday I feel stronger about letting him go. It just takes time. Happiness has it's own way of taking it's sweet time. But I will get there. I have faith in myself.
Wheretomylady, many times I asked him if it was just all about sex with him. He said no, and then he got closer to me, started opening up more, but then went back to the same way as before (meaning he's never going to change his ways)...then a couple of months later I asked him again and he said no, I really like you, and he started going on and on about how he felt about me. This was the first time that he had ever done that. I felt great! But it all just didn't work out. Too bad.
Wheretomylady, many times I asked him if it was just all about sex with him. He said no, and then he got closer to me, started opening up more, but then went back to the same way as before (meaning he's never going to change his ways)...then a couple of months later I asked him again and he said no, I really like you, and he started going on and on about how he felt about me. This was the first time that he had ever done that. I felt great! But it all just didn't work out. Too bad.
Amazing isn't? What guys will say. As a fellow Taurian I know that I take to heart what people say to me, I feel that if you are going to go through all the trouble of saying something it might as well be true...but thats not the case. People are fickle, say things when they are feeling intimate or drunk, and then forget all about it. After my cappy did that to me I let him know that I was one to take people on their word, and that I was not fickle nor did I care for fickle people.
Its almost more hurtful to say something that you don't follow through with than to say nothing at all...
Good luck girls, I am still wrangling my semi-wild capricorn....I have moments when I wonder if I should get out...if he is worth all the trouble or if I like him because of all the trouble?
Its almost more hurtful to say something that you don't follow through with than to say nothing at all...
Good luck girls, I am still wrangling my semi-wild capricorn....I have moments when I wonder if I should get out...if he is worth all the trouble or if I like him because of all the trouble?
Yeah it's hard to tell if you really like him or if it's just because of the suspense and craziness of it all. It's funny how we like the craziness of it tho. I know now that I'm not with him and not doing all the crazy stuff that i really did like him for him. I do miss him. I don't miss all the shit I went thru. But I do honestly miss him.
Good luck to you too!
Good luck to you too!
Well chicas I have an update.
So my cap sent me a text this morn and said "hey, you want to do something tonite"...I was shocked, needless to say, and I replied "why now? I have plans tonite"...well I never got another reply from him.
So fast forward to this afternoon. He CALLS me and Im at work so I call him back and talk to him for almost an hr on the phone. He's pretty much begging me to cancel my plans tonite, meet him and talk to him. I say no, then after a lot of begging I finally say yes. But I told him that I have no promise of gettin back with him, but I will listen to what he has to say. So tonite I'm meeting him to talk. Really, I'm not even looking forward to it. I mean I just had finally convinced myself that our break up was for the best and better things are to come! I was finally trying to move on and stay positive and now this, right when I was ready to give up. Doesn't it always work like that. I honestly don't know what I'm going to say to him if he asks to get back with me. I think I might honestly tell him no. Because deep down I think he is who he is and that he won't change and I can't deal with that. I realize that there are a lot more simpler men out there who are willin to treat me like I deserve to be treated.
so wish me luck, and I'll let u know how it goes.
So my cap sent me a text this morn and said "hey, you want to do something tonite"...I was shocked, needless to say, and I replied "why now? I have plans tonite"...well I never got another reply from him.
So fast forward to this afternoon. He CALLS me and Im at work so I call him back and talk to him for almost an hr on the phone. He's pretty much begging me to cancel my plans tonite, meet him and talk to him. I say no, then after a lot of begging I finally say yes. But I told him that I have no promise of gettin back with him, but I will listen to what he has to say. So tonite I'm meeting him to talk. Really, I'm not even looking forward to it. I mean I just had finally convinced myself that our break up was for the best and better things are to come! I was finally trying to move on and stay positive and now this, right when I was ready to give up. Doesn't it always work like that. I honestly don't know what I'm going to say to him if he asks to get back with me. I think I might honestly tell him no. Because deep down I think he is who he is and that he won't change and I can't deal with that. I realize that there are a lot more simpler men out there who are willin to treat me like I deserve to be treated.
so wish me luck, and I'll let u know how it goes.
Holy "butter"! Unbelievable! Isn't that always the way it seems to go... I know how you were feeling today. When they finally come around and are so "intent" on pursuing or seeing you, by that time, you're so mad and numb, that you can't be receptive and positive about it all. Good luck! Do report in, asap, and give the details. ; )
My Cap.'s online tonite, after being "gone" for a week or two, whatever that means- But I have no temptation or desire to IM him... Weird though, as I have been thinking about him today more than any other day during these holidays, and he's now online tonite. This lull betw. Cmas and NYEve has been harder for me than the lead-up to Cmas, for some reason. Maybe it's affecting other Caps. the same way...??
My Cap.'s online tonite, after being "gone" for a week or two, whatever that means- But I have no temptation or desire to IM him... Weird though, as I have been thinking about him today more than any other day during these holidays, and he's now online tonite. This lull betw. Cmas and NYEve has been harder for me than the lead-up to Cmas, for some reason. Maybe it's affecting other Caps. the same way...??
Oh, I'm waiting for MyCap's update.. Gotta see what happend.. 🙂
Btw.. Men are exactly like that, you gotta give them space and they will come back to you if they really like you.
Btw.. Men are exactly like that, you gotta give them space and they will come back to you if they really like you.
This must be a good sign... (I'm leaving town this aftn. for the weekend and feel like I'm waiting for the ending to a good movie!) 😉
Well girls here's the scoop:
Thinks went extremely well. We met, had a couple of drinks and talked. We talked about everything under the sun. One thing I have to mention is that I told him that he's the most confusing and frustrating man I've ever met in my life...he said well I'm a capricorn. I about died. Then I just laughed and was thinking in my head about all u girls here on this board who are going thru this same thing with their caps. I almost slipped and told him that I had been studying him (capricorn)...lol, but I didnt. Anyhow we sat there for a while, he didn't really come out and say that he wanted to get back with me, but he hinted at starting over (which I had mentioned in the email he never replied to). U ladies would have been very proud of me, for once I was not scared, said what i wanted to say and meant it, holding nothing back. I think he liked that a lot more that I was being so upfront with him.
So after a long talk over drinks we went back to his place. I stayed the nite. We just laid there and held each other, talking some more about us and how we each felt about each other. I told him there was no more going back/forth with ending/getting back together, that this had to be the real deal if it got to the point of us being 'exclusive' because I told him that i'd walk away in a heartbeat if it did. I told him that I think the break we took did me a lot of good, it said it did him also.
Oh yea and we talked about the 'girl' he was seeing. They weren't serious. He went out with her a couple of times, he's not seeing her anymore, so he says, but I do believe him. He's just not the type of guy to be seeing numerous women at one time. Plus, he doesn't have time for that either. He was curious as if I had went out with others. I told him, yes on one date, which is true and he didn't like that at all, but I told him it was his fault. He let me go!
So this morning he had to be somewhere early, I was off work, so he left me sleepin at his place. I got up about an hr later, left and no sooner than I walked in my door he was callin me and saying that he'd be home in about an hr. I told him I had already left. He didn't like that. He said I thought u would stay til I got back. LOL...I liked hearing him sound all down about me not staying.
So as of right now, I'm not getting my hopes up. I had finally gotten back to the point of living my life without him and getting back to my old routine and now this. So I'm going to continue with no promises from him, and him having to show me with actions. He's going to have to work extra hard this time around and I let him know that upfront. I will not get hurt again!
So today is a good day, but I'm just trying so hard not to get too excited about it!
Thinks went extremely well. We met, had a couple of drinks and talked. We talked about everything under the sun. One thing I have to mention is that I told him that he's the most confusing and frustrating man I've ever met in my life...he said well I'm a capricorn. I about died. Then I just laughed and was thinking in my head about all u girls here on this board who are going thru this same thing with their caps. I almost slipped and told him that I had been studying him (capricorn)...lol, but I didnt. Anyhow we sat there for a while, he didn't really come out and say that he wanted to get back with me, but he hinted at starting over (which I had mentioned in the email he never replied to). U ladies would have been very proud of me, for once I was not scared, said what i wanted to say and meant it, holding nothing back. I think he liked that a lot more that I was being so upfront with him.
So after a long talk over drinks we went back to his place. I stayed the nite. We just laid there and held each other, talking some more about us and how we each felt about each other. I told him there was no more going back/forth with ending/getting back together, that this had to be the real deal if it got to the point of us being 'exclusive' because I told him that i'd walk away in a heartbeat if it did. I told him that I think the break we took did me a lot of good, it said it did him also.
Oh yea and we talked about the 'girl' he was seeing. They weren't serious. He went out with her a couple of times, he's not seeing her anymore, so he says, but I do believe him. He's just not the type of guy to be seeing numerous women at one time. Plus, he doesn't have time for that either. He was curious as if I had went out with others. I told him, yes on one date, which is true and he didn't like that at all, but I told him it was his fault. He let me go!
So this morning he had to be somewhere early, I was off work, so he left me sleepin at his place. I got up about an hr later, left and no sooner than I walked in my door he was callin me and saying that he'd be home in about an hr. I told him I had already left. He didn't like that. He said I thought u would stay til I got back. LOL...I liked hearing him sound all down about me not staying.
So as of right now, I'm not getting my hopes up. I had finally gotten back to the point of living my life without him and getting back to my old routine and now this. So I'm going to continue with no promises from him, and him having to show me with actions. He's going to have to work extra hard this time around and I let him know that upfront. I will not get hurt again!
So today is a good day, but I'm just trying so hard not to get too excited about it!
Yippppeeeeee!!!! (But don't let that get you excited.) I don't want to probe into your private life (but yet that's what we're all volunteering on here), but did he give any explanation/reason why he took these 2 weeks to contact you? I'm just looking for insight into what they are thinking when they don't respond.
That's cool that you didn't stay there until he got back, i.e. 'leaving him wanting more', etc. How did you trust enough to go back to his place and stay? My insecurities or trust factor would have just made that difficult for me. You all must have had a good talk and it's good that you met out for drinks and talked first. I could not really get mine to meet out, which really threw a wrench into things.
Too funny that he labeled himself difficult bc. of being a Capricorn!
I'm really happy for you, doll! 😄
That's cool that you didn't stay there until he got back, i.e. 'leaving him wanting more', etc. How did you trust enough to go back to his place and stay? My insecurities or trust factor would have just made that difficult for me. You all must have had a good talk and it's good that you met out for drinks and talked first. I could not really get mine to meet out, which really threw a wrench into things.
Too funny that he labeled himself difficult bc. of being a Capricorn!
I'm really happy for you, doll! 😄
Well thanks CapGirl.
I'm all smiles today! For once in 2 weeks. He didn't really say why he took those 2 weeks. Maybe we did just need some time apart. Things were really getting frustrating with us. He was having a lot going on at work, I wasn't being understanding, etc. So I guess he just got fed up and we called it quits (I thought for good). Btw...u can probe into my private life anytime, it doesn't bother me.
He hates it when I leave him wanting more. One day, about 3 mos ago I did the same thing to him and he wanted to see me again that nite, that wasn't like him. It felt good for me tho!
When he was beggin me to see him on the phone yesterday, I told him the ONLY way I'd see him and talk was if we met in public. so he either wanted to do that or not see me. I would have it no other way. After talking to him I felt that it was ok to go back to his house with him, and I'm very glad I did. I had a great time!
It was downright hilarious when he mentioned himself as being a cappie. I guess i just didn't think about him realizing how much he was like his sun sign or that he even thought about that kind of stuff at all. It just threw me for a loop.
So CapGirl, why couldn't u get urs to meet you out?
I'm all smiles today! For once in 2 weeks. He didn't really say why he took those 2 weeks. Maybe we did just need some time apart. Things were really getting frustrating with us. He was having a lot going on at work, I wasn't being understanding, etc. So I guess he just got fed up and we called it quits (I thought for good). Btw...u can probe into my private life anytime, it doesn't bother me.
He hates it when I leave him wanting more. One day, about 3 mos ago I did the same thing to him and he wanted to see me again that nite, that wasn't like him. It felt good for me tho!
When he was beggin me to see him on the phone yesterday, I told him the ONLY way I'd see him and talk was if we met in public. so he either wanted to do that or not see me. I would have it no other way. After talking to him I felt that it was ok to go back to his house with him, and I'm very glad I did. I had a great time!
It was downright hilarious when he mentioned himself as being a cappie. I guess i just didn't think about him realizing how much he was like his sun sign or that he even thought about that kind of stuff at all. It just threw me for a loop.
So CapGirl, why couldn't u get urs to meet you out?
I had to post again, MyCap. Just be careful, like you said you were going to be, and maybe set it up your own mind and be prepared that he's likely going to relapse and withdraw again at some point. Come over to this board and read some of Taurus25's posts. She's been dealing w/ a Cap. for a few years and seems to really know how to handle them. Also, Aquamarine knows these guys pretty well, although she hasn't gotten hers into a commitment at all.
http://www.bridgettwalther.com/forum/forums.asp?iFor=27 (Cut and paste)
http://www.bridgettwalther.com/forum/forums.asp?iFor=27 (Cut and paste)
MYCAP~ yea!!!!! im sooo excited for you!! But just a bit of advice....one word really....SLOW!! you know how slow he is now you have to slow it down even slower...they will suck you in with all the calls. the i missed you's and they mean it but then...they are gone again...lol sneaky lil beasts 🙂 I say that with much LOVE for my baby "a cap"... let me share something with you....
"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
~CORINTHIONS 13:3~
I wish you lots of love~
"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
~CORINTHIONS 13:3~
I wish you lots of love~
Hey, MyCap, just read your 2nd post now...
Mine cancelled last minute when we had planned earlier in the day to meet for drinks. He felt bad and wanted to do it the next night, but I went off 'half-cocked' and told him off and said I was done. Then a few weeks later, when I sought him out on the AIM (IM), he was doing that begging for me to come over but it was 11:00pm and I never thought we'd IM for an hour let alone see each other that night so I said 'no, I'm not in the right mindset.' He probably would have met me out when we ended up seeing each other a few days later, but I sensed that he thought things would get messed up out at the bar or a restaurant bar even, and that I wouldn't end up back alone w/ him. Because this is how it has happened in the past-- So, I just agreed or suggested that I'd come over. We didn't go "there" though, and that may have helped things along if we had, but there was no serious talk happening. We were 'hanging out'.
Anyway-- my sorry situation is still just that. But I shall live vicariously through you! ; ) You sound like you know what you're doing-- good job on demanding a public talk.
Mine cancelled last minute when we had planned earlier in the day to meet for drinks. He felt bad and wanted to do it the next night, but I went off 'half-cocked' and told him off and said I was done. Then a few weeks later, when I sought him out on the AIM (IM), he was doing that begging for me to come over but it was 11:00pm and I never thought we'd IM for an hour let alone see each other that night so I said 'no, I'm not in the right mindset.' He probably would have met me out when we ended up seeing each other a few days later, but I sensed that he thought things would get messed up out at the bar or a restaurant bar even, and that I wouldn't end up back alone w/ him. Because this is how it has happened in the past-- So, I just agreed or suggested that I'd come over. We didn't go "there" though, and that may have helped things along if we had, but there was no serious talk happening. We were 'hanging out'.
Anyway-- my sorry situation is still just that. But I shall live vicariously through you! ; ) You sound like you know what you're doing-- good job on demanding a public talk.
Thanks greeneyedgemini, I needed to read that! I will take it very SLOW...this time around I have a better attitude about it! And now I actually know how to handle him!
CapGirl, I will check out the other site. Thanks!
CapGirl, I will check out the other site. Thanks!
CapGirl,
I know its hard but I wish u the best. I was where u are once and it wasn't a good place to be. But with a lot of faith, I'm getting back on track. Don't know where it's going or if anywhere, but I have to stay positive and time will tell. I can't believe how 2 weeks away from him gave me a better outlook on things, I'm finally thinking clearly again! I told myself that i had to demand a public talk or else. In my mind, if he really wanted to see me, then he would see me where I wanted him to see me. Not being mean but thats just the way it had to be for me to do that. I didnt just want to go to his house and talk. I wanted it to be a goin out and talking and it was so much better!
I hope things get better for u! Are u doing ok or how are things going for u?
I know its hard but I wish u the best. I was where u are once and it wasn't a good place to be. But with a lot of faith, I'm getting back on track. Don't know where it's going or if anywhere, but I have to stay positive and time will tell. I can't believe how 2 weeks away from him gave me a better outlook on things, I'm finally thinking clearly again! I told myself that i had to demand a public talk or else. In my mind, if he really wanted to see me, then he would see me where I wanted him to see me. Not being mean but thats just the way it had to be for me to do that. I didnt just want to go to his house and talk. I wanted it to be a goin out and talking and it was so much better!
I hope things get better for u! Are u doing ok or how are things going for u?
Hey, last one for the day... I'm fine. Thank you for asking. That is so kind. I'm leaving town to Florida for the weekend with family, so I'm really excited for that and will be busy. Take GEG's advice; she knows what she's talking about! (That slower than they are going is advice given by authors on commitment-phobic men actually. It's right out of "He's Scared, She's Scared" by Carter.) Happy New Year, MyCap, and to Wheretomylady, OFA, and GEG, too! Oh, and Sweet&Sour!
Capgirl, Mycap,
thank you and have a wonderful safe NEW YEAR!!!
Just hold your head high... and NEVER give up your faith...follow your heart!
love, Brandy/greeneyedgemini
thank you and have a wonderful safe NEW YEAR!!!
Just hold your head high... and NEVER give up your faith...follow your heart!
love, Brandy/greeneyedgemini
You guys have a wonderful new year also...and have fun in Florida CapGirl!
MyCap~
I saw your recent post on the other thread. What is going on? Why having doubts? I don't want to speak too quick... but I was worried about this not reverting back to like the beginning. It just never seems to get any easier with these guys... Tell me the latest?
I saw your recent post on the other thread. What is going on? Why having doubts? I don't want to speak too quick... but I was worried about this not reverting back to like the beginning. It just never seems to get any easier with these guys... Tell me the latest?
Well CapGirl,
He's just seeming weird. Like when we met for drinks and talked and when I stayed at his place everything was fine. But then now it's just as it was before. Talking every so often, not knowing when I'm going to hear from him next, etc. He's just a very busy person. I don't really think it was a good idea to meet him for drinks Thurs nite. I was doing so fine with moving on. Even tho I think I could pick up and move on from the point where I was moving on from him, it will still be a little bit harder because I've seen and spent time with him recently. I thought things were going to be different, but knew in the back of my mind that they probably wouldn't be tho. I'm just stuck again and hate it. I don't think it will ever be what I want, but then again don't want to miss the opporunity tho if it could be. I'm not going to stress about it, just take it day by day, but also continue to see other ppl. I don't think I should only see him when I don't think he's going to totally commit to me. So it's as if I'm casually dating him right now and then if it doesn't work out I'm at the point that I truly believe that I will be fine moving on from him. I do like him so much, and will miss him, but hey if it's not meant to be, then it's not meant to be. I wish you would have shared with me that u were worried about it not being like it was in the beginning. I needed to hear that before I met him Thurs nite. I wish I would have had more of a chance to talk it over with my girls on here before i met him, but it was just a last second decision and all that.
Any advice on what I should do is really needed right now ladies. Please help! And thanks for being here for me thru all this!
He's just seeming weird. Like when we met for drinks and talked and when I stayed at his place everything was fine. But then now it's just as it was before. Talking every so often, not knowing when I'm going to hear from him next, etc. He's just a very busy person. I don't really think it was a good idea to meet him for drinks Thurs nite. I was doing so fine with moving on. Even tho I think I could pick up and move on from the point where I was moving on from him, it will still be a little bit harder because I've seen and spent time with him recently. I thought things were going to be different, but knew in the back of my mind that they probably wouldn't be tho. I'm just stuck again and hate it. I don't think it will ever be what I want, but then again don't want to miss the opporunity tho if it could be. I'm not going to stress about it, just take it day by day, but also continue to see other ppl. I don't think I should only see him when I don't think he's going to totally commit to me. So it's as if I'm casually dating him right now and then if it doesn't work out I'm at the point that I truly believe that I will be fine moving on from him. I do like him so much, and will miss him, but hey if it's not meant to be, then it's not meant to be. I wish you would have shared with me that u were worried about it not being like it was in the beginning. I needed to hear that before I met him Thurs nite. I wish I would have had more of a chance to talk it over with my girls on here before i met him, but it was just a last second decision and all that.
Any advice on what I should do is really needed right now ladies. Please help! And thanks for being here for me thru all this!
MyCap:
You are on right direction with your taking-it-day-by-day -attitude. Don't analyze too much, don't think too much. Act more. Live your own life, there must be many things you like to do. Do those things and let him decide what he wants to do. Don't wait for his decision, live your life. Be happy. Stop worrying. Everything happens the way it should be. He loves you or not, you can't do anything about that. Living your life and being happy despite what he does is a sign for him that you are not chasing him. Let him chase you. I know we women are dreaming about romance and stuff but it should be men who chase us. Set him free, and he will come back to you if he really loves you. You can sometimes send him a message or give a call to tell him how you feel. But not too much. And seeing your friends and doing the things you like keeps you going and makes you happier. He will see that too and maybe he likes to be more around you when there are no problems but a lot to enjoy with you.
This is what I do always and men come back to me, those who I don't really like are free to go forever. But those who I like are still chasing me. I'm in a relationship right now but still there are many men chasing me, waiting for my break-up. That makes me smile 🙂 It's funny. But I'm back with my Cap now and I hate to say it but I gotta take my words back about Cap men. They are the best after all. Especially when you know him better. At the beginning it's very difficult with a Cap (we don't fall easily and that's why we are not that committed at first). But later when we do commit we could stay forever.
I hope this will help you.. 🙂
You are on right direction with your taking-it-day-by-day -attitude. Don't analyze too much, don't think too much. Act more. Live your own life, there must be many things you like to do. Do those things and let him decide what he wants to do. Don't wait for his decision, live your life. Be happy. Stop worrying. Everything happens the way it should be. He loves you or not, you can't do anything about that. Living your life and being happy despite what he does is a sign for him that you are not chasing him. Let him chase you. I know we women are dreaming about romance and stuff but it should be men who chase us. Set him free, and he will come back to you if he really loves you. You can sometimes send him a message or give a call to tell him how you feel. But not too much. And seeing your friends and doing the things you like keeps you going and makes you happier. He will see that too and maybe he likes to be more around you when there are no problems but a lot to enjoy with you.
This is what I do always and men come back to me, those who I don't really like are free to go forever. But those who I like are still chasing me. I'm in a relationship right now but still there are many men chasing me, waiting for my break-up. That makes me smile 🙂 It's funny. But I'm back with my Cap now and I hate to say it but I gotta take my words back about Cap men. They are the best after all. Especially when you know him better. At the beginning it's very difficult with a Cap (we don't fall easily and that's why we are not that committed at first). But later when we do commit we could stay forever.
I hope this will help you.. 🙂
Yes it did help me sweet&sour, thank you very much. Ur right, I do need to go do my own thing and not worry about it. That's what I was doing before he contacted me Thurs and wanted to meet me for drinks. I hadnt contacted him in a while, have been doing things I like to do, goin out with my friends, and what do you know, he calls. I am really sick and tired of worrying and realize that it does no good and doesn't get u anywhere by worrying. So right now. From this point forward I'm going to take ur advice and stick to it. I really needed to hear that this morning. Thanks much!!
Guys were chasing me when I wasnt paying attention to them after I met my Cappie...those guys would say hey, break up with him, etc. I'd say no. It made me feel good. It's crazy how guys come back when they think ur not interested or have someone else. It's crazy!
And I'm glad to hear u r doing good with ur Cap! They are very good guys when they want to be. I see that mine is, that's why I fell so hard for him! Good luck!
Guys were chasing me when I wasnt paying attention to them after I met my Cappie...those guys would say hey, break up with him, etc. I'd say no. It made me feel good. It's crazy how guys come back when they think ur not interested or have someone else. It's crazy!
And I'm glad to hear u r doing good with ur Cap! They are very good guys when they want to be. I see that mine is, that's why I fell so hard for him! Good luck!
MyCap~
I went through the same thing back when I saw mine in Oct. I left his place feeling all warm and fuzzy, and mistakenly thinking that we were 'on the same page.' That's when I sent him that darn email trying to confirm and clarify that we were 'on the same page.'
Sweet&Sour's advice is good, of living your own life and not waiting or planning around him. Also, don't go doing MORE, or opening up MORE to him, thinking that it's you or that you're not doing or saying enough. That's the worst thing you can do... It's not YOU, it's HIM. You have to assume and know that he knows how you feel now, and whatever he's doing or not doing is because of his own fears or not wanting be to be tied down. Like GEG said, you've got to go slower than him, even when and if he's back in full pursuit. (i.e. like when he called the next morning and wanted you to stay there, that was good that you had already taken off.)
Read "The Commitment Cure" by Rhonda Findling, and "He's Scared, She's Scared" by Carter-- each give tips on handling these types if you want to stick it out.
It's really not a Capricorn thing, in my opinion.
Sweet&Sour~~ how did you end up back w/ your Cap.?? This is the 7 yr. one?
I'm coming up on kind of making the decision you did, MyCap, of whether to keep moving on, or to potentially re-open things with bday wishes on the 16th. I'm just going to go with my gut and mood that day, and do what I feel like. It'd only be a 2-word text message, if anything at all, so not a huge deal but it'd signify that I'm not mad and have not totally moved on which is huge.
I went through the same thing back when I saw mine in Oct. I left his place feeling all warm and fuzzy, and mistakenly thinking that we were 'on the same page.' That's when I sent him that darn email trying to confirm and clarify that we were 'on the same page.'
Sweet&Sour's advice is good, of living your own life and not waiting or planning around him. Also, don't go doing MORE, or opening up MORE to him, thinking that it's you or that you're not doing or saying enough. That's the worst thing you can do... It's not YOU, it's HIM. You have to assume and know that he knows how you feel now, and whatever he's doing or not doing is because of his own fears or not wanting be to be tied down. Like GEG said, you've got to go slower than him, even when and if he's back in full pursuit. (i.e. like when he called the next morning and wanted you to stay there, that was good that you had already taken off.)
Read "The Commitment Cure" by Rhonda Findling, and "He's Scared, She's Scared" by Carter-- each give tips on handling these types if you want to stick it out.
It's really not a Capricorn thing, in my opinion.
Sweet&Sour~~ how did you end up back w/ your Cap.?? This is the 7 yr. one?
I'm coming up on kind of making the decision you did, MyCap, of whether to keep moving on, or to potentially re-open things with bday wishes on the 16th. I'm just going to go with my gut and mood that day, and do what I feel like. It'd only be a 2-word text message, if anything at all, so not a huge deal but it'd signify that I'm not mad and have not totally moved on which is huge.
I'm defintely going to take it slower from here on out. And no, I'm definetely not going to open up anymore to him. He knows how I feel about him now, so I don't have any doubt that he doesn't. It's his choice if he wants it. I will have to check out those books, thanks!
I think you should contact him on his bday and see how that goes. I don't know when/if I'm going to talk to mine again, but I still have plans of sending him a little text on his bday which is the 17th. If you send him a text that will show him that you care, but then again that u r ok. It might get him thinking about it and then you only contacting him just a tad bit and that was it. It might encourage him to want to talk to you. If not, it's his problem!! We can do this girl!
I think you should contact him on his bday and see how that goes. I don't know when/if I'm going to talk to mine again, but I still have plans of sending him a little text on his bday which is the 17th. If you send him a text that will show him that you care, but then again that u r ok. It might get him thinking about it and then you only contacting him just a tad bit and that was it. It might encourage him to want to talk to you. If not, it's his problem!! We can do this girl!
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Hi Everyone,
I need some advice. I've been making huge life changes. I've been seperated and almost divorced from a wonderful Aquarian, a great friend, with a beautiful heart, but not someone I could have stayed married to for the rest of my lif
I need some advice. I've been making huge life changes. I've been seperated and almost divorced from a wonderful Aquarian, a great friend, with a beautiful heart, but not someone I could have stayed married to for the rest of my lif
I'd call this time, on the birthday. Darn, mine's is the 16th! I was hoping you could try this out first to see how it flies, and then I could decide depending on your outcome. ; ) I doubt I'll bother with it myself though- I've been through too much with too little satisfaction during these 14 months, to keep me going back in for another ego-bruising.
I went over to his place a couple months ago... Before I went, I asked him on IM if he was involved w/ someone and owed faithfulness, bc. I didn't want to get involved with that and be some side-dish. Well, even on something like that, where I was waiting for his answer to determine whether I was going to come over...he just hung there in silence, not responding. After like 3 minutes of waiting, I had to say, "Will you comment?" He then immediately pipes up with 'no, you've got it all wrong, that's not the situation at all.' Just another example of how they don't like being questioned and will refrain from answering if you let them get away with it.
I had done the same thing as you-- with giving no reaction alot of the time. You just sense that they're trying to test for a reaction and get a rise, and that you'll pass and beat their test if you don't react. It's crazy- I really think it goes beyond a Cap. thing.