Cap problems, need advice

Short version: I am dating a cap man and I am an Aquarius woman. We have been dating casually for about 5 months. We are moving at a very slow pace, but I am ok with that because I have my own things I need to do. However, recently, we had an argument, where he chose hanging with his friends over me. Before he chose, I calmly told him that if his choice was anything other than me for this situation, I would think that he was making a d*ck move. He knows that I am mad, but I think he was expecting me to yell and scream at him, when I did the opposite and became an ice queen and calmly corrected him that I was not disappointed, I was mad at him.

We get along well when he is not acting like an ass and compromises. I want to work things out and know that we need some time to think, but what would be some possible next moves to start talking again?

I'm also aquarius and going thru the same struggle with a Cap man, there's no label which I'm fine with while getting to know him, he's very busy, but is fine because I have my own things to do, we have a good connection when we are together but he's dry over text, I try not to suffocate him bc I know he's busy..

I'm also hoping there is a way to get thru it to have a relationship.

I've been told that being more romantic works with Cap men. Aqua women are colder.

I took him something to eat to his office Monday night and he thanked me there, later by text saying it was good, and at 3am saying Thanks again.

Try something like that.

Posted by Aerazo
I'm also aquarius and going thru the same struggle with a Cap man, there's no label which I'm fine with while getting to know him, he's very busy, but is fine because I have my own things to do, we have a good connection when we are together but he's dry over text, I try not to suffocate him bc I know he's busy..

I'm also hoping there is a way to get thru it to have a relationship.

I've been told that being more romantic works with Cap men. Aqua women are colder.

I took him something to eat to his office Monday night and he thanked me there, later by text saying it was good, and at 3am saying Thanks again.

Try something like that.

This is kind of funny- ironic because the night that I argued with him, I made his favorite dessert for him that I was going to surprise him with before he made that choice...like I said I became the Ice Queen, and told him I was eating his gift, described how amazing it was, while we were arguing over the phone. Then there is the other issue of my pride and knowing that I deserve better treatment...It is a difficult situation...

Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
Why is his choosing to hang out with his friends an issue?

Theoretically, there is nothing wrong in choosing to hang out with his friend, if this was like a normal dating situation. He travels for work a lot and I have a lot of work as well...in the beginning, I would see him a couple of times a week, then it went to once a week, then once a month. Fine by me, I have things to do...but if we are like on this once a month dating due to our schedules, with phone calls and texts throughout the week...then I'm expecting him to put his boys on hold until the next morning. If I was seeing him every week or every other week, it would be a different story.

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by mochadia
Short version: I am dating a cap man and I am an Aquarius woman. We have been dating casually for about 5 months. We are moving at a very slow pace, but I am ok with that because I have my own things I need to do. However, recently, we had an argument, where he chose hanging with his friends over me. Before he chose, I calmly told him that if his choice was anything other than me for this situation, I would think that he was making a d*ck move. He knows that I am mad, but I think he was expecting me to yell and scream at him, when I did the opposite and became an ice queen and calmly corrected him that I was not disappointed, I was mad at him.

We get along well when he is not acting like an ass and compromises. I want to work things out and know that we need some time to think, but what would be some possible next moves to start talking again?

This is why he chose his friends. Don't try to control or tell a cap man what to do. Let him make his own decisions without a threat or ultimatum. Tell me what to do and I will do the opposite.

click to expand

That's why Caps and Aquarius are opposites, we don't like restrictions either and they are quite controlling too!

Posted by CAPRILICIOUS

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by mochadia
Short version: I am dating a cap man and I am an Aquarius woman. We have been dating casually for about 5 months. We are moving at a very slow pace, but I am ok with that because I have my own things I need to do. However, recently, we had an argument, where he chose hanging with his friends over me. Before he chose, I calmly told him that if his choice was anything other than me for this situation, I would think that he was making a d*ck move. He knows that I am mad, but I think he was expecting me to yell and scream at him, when I did the opposite and became an ice queen and calmly corrected him that I was not disappointed, I was mad at him.

We get along well when he is not acting like an ass and compromises. I want to work things out and know that we need some time to think, but what would be some possible next moves to start talking again?

This is why he chose his friends. Don't try to control or tell a cap man what to do. Let him make his own decisions without a threat or ultimatum. Tell me what to do and I will do the opposite.

Oh! I agree with this. I've noticed the same tendency in my Cap.

If he knows I want something a certain way, he will do it, without my asking. But he doesn't like being dictated to. He will still do it grudgingly after telling me that he was only doing it to make me happy.

Now I've stopped deciding things for him. I know he's considerate and caring, and I trust him. Plus, he gives me the same freedom.

click to expand

Yup, same way with my ex and current caps.

I think they fall good with us Aqua because we like to please them too and chase them and we are always there for them. So they make sure we are taken care of and I do know that they are good guys!

Sorry ladies but "your" caps arent serious about you! Seeing eachother often in the beginning then fading out due to "being busy"? C'mon thats dating 101 - the guy isnt interested in a serious relationship.

No man on earth who is truly interested in having you as his gf - and caps are possessive - would act like that. Texting/calling doesnt count much as this is how to keep a side chick/situationship going.

And btw that whole "its ok with me since I have a ton of stuff to do myself" is a weak example of women who try not to look needy/clingy. Because when these men "dedicate" time/effort then u jump right back to them. Its true and its something all of us have to learn. Let go of men who won't be serious as you wish them to be.

Its never(!) a good thing to fuss over issues with a man who isn't even your man! Why do all the girlfriend stuff as cooking etc if its not even your man! U give away free milk and no matter his zodiac sign, a man wont buy the cow if he gets free milk.

Thats a waste of your precious time. Caps need strong and independent women, means that u either demand something serious or stop letting anyone use u as a doormat.

Posted by AquaNextDoor
Sorry ladies but "your" caps arent serious about you! Seeing eachother often in the beginning then fading out due to "being busy"? C'mon thats dating 101 - the guy isnt interested in a serious relationship.

No man on earth who is truly interested in having you as his gf - and caps are possessive - would act like that. Texting/calling doesnt count much as this is how to keep a side chick/situationship going.

And btw that whole "its ok with me since I have a ton of stuff to do myself" is a weak example of women who try not to look needy/clingy. Because when these men "dedicate" time/effort then u jump right back to them. Its true and its something all of us have to learn. Let go of men who won't be serious as you wish them to be.

Its never(!) a good thing to fuss over issues with a man who isn't even your man! Why do all the girlfriend stuff as cooking etc if its not even your man! U give away free milk and no matter his zodiac sign, a man wont buy the cow if he gets free milk.

Thats a waste of your precious time. Caps need strong and independent women, means that u either demand something serious or stop letting anyone use u as a doormat.

Yes you are correct but it also depends a lot on the person. I dated a Capricorn for 4yrs and lived with him for another 8yrs.

When we first met, we had a strong connection (high school 15yrs old) he never approached me as differently but he was always nervous around me. then the last day of summer school I asked him to come with us to another friends house and we kissed (I intended to kiss him bc I liked him) that day he asked me to be his gf. for the first weeks we saw each other a lot and then he started pulling away.. I thought it was over and kissed a guy in school, then told him it was over bc what I did was wrong but it didn't feel like a relationship. A month later he came back to my house to ask me to be his gf again. and he changed a lot, but I learned to cope with him, I have him space whenever he needed it, I needed my space too, and he would work late hours but then come home to me and rest on my arms.

I ended the relationship because it became toxic, we had problems because of our immaturity and he wouldn't even come home, he'd stay with his friends all the time and I got tired. after 12 yrs I told him it was over, we have 2 kids, but he did this for many years, he had became possesive and extremely jealous and even disrespected me. now he says that he has always loved me (I never doubted it, he never cheated on me, or hid it too well).

I am currently seeing another Cap, hoping it turns out differently, but he's also "too busy".

but says that he likes me a lot.

Posted by Aerazo

Posted by AquaNextDoor
Sorry ladies but "your" caps arent serious about you! Seeing eachother often in the beginning then fading out due to "being busy"? C'mon thats dating 101 - the guy isnt interested in a serious relationship.

No man on earth who is truly interested in having you as his gf - and caps are possessive - would act like that. Texting/calling doesnt count much as this is how to keep a side chick/situationship going.

And btw that whole "its ok with me since I have a ton of stuff to do myself" is a weak example of women who try not to look needy/clingy. Because when these men "dedicate" time/effort then u jump right back to them. Its true and its something all of us have to learn. Let go of men who won't be serious as you wish them to be.

Its never(!) a good thing to fuss over issues with a man who isn't even your man! Why do all the girlfriend stuff as cooking etc if its not even your man! U give away free milk and no matter his zodiac sign, a man wont buy the cow if he gets free milk.

Thats a waste of your precious time. Caps need strong and independent women, means that u either demand something serious or stop letting anyone use u as a doormat.

Yes you are correct but it also depends a lot on the person. I dated a Capricorn for 4yrs and lived with him for another 8yrs.

When we first met, we had a strong connection (high school 15yrs old) he never approached me as differently but he was always nervous around me. then the last day of summer school I asked him to come with us to another friends house and we kissed (I intended to kiss him bc I liked him) that day he asked me to be his gf. for the first weeks we saw each other a lot and then he started pulling away.. I thought it was over and kissed a guy in school, then told him it was over bc what I did was wrong but it didn't feel like a relationship. A month later he came back to my house to ask me to be his gf again. and he changed a lot, but I learned to cope with him, I have him space whenever he needed it, I needed my space too, and he would work late hours but then come home to me and rest on my arms.

I ended the relationship because it became toxic, we had problems because of our immaturity and he wouldn't even come home, he'd stay with his friends all the time and I got tired. after 12 yrs I told him it was over, we have 2 kids, but he did this for many years, he had became possesive and extremely jealous and even disrespected me. now he says that he has always loved me (I never doubted it, he never cheated on me, or hid it too well).

I am currently seeing another Cap, hoping it turns out differently, but he's also "too busy".

but says that he likes me a lot.

click to expand

Sorry to hear that u went through so much.

Well I dont consider a 15yr old cap as dating example since we are all adults here and mostly dont date 15yr old BOYS who dont date like grown men who already know what to look for in a woman. Thats why I wouldnt look at how old flames behaved in their teens and adapt that to your current dating situation as an adult.

I was married and together before with an aries 8 yrs- he was my very first bf also. When I left him I thought dating was still like back when I was 15, boys/men would date honestly and innocent. (If he sleeps with you and tells u romantic shit, he's def in for a relationship. Especially if he keeps coming back and stays in touch)

LOL man did I have to grow up and "learn" how to prperly date and ditch the fuckboys.