nngemini
@nngemini
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 57 · Topics: 7
Capricorn man moving abroad
If it were me moving abroad, I would probably end the relationship hopefully amicably. Yes, it would hurt, and I wouldn't want to, but the realism of the distance would cause it to be difficult to maintain the relationship and I would be forced to understand that. It would only be fair to both to have a chance to start over without ties back home.
I would want to keep things on good terms with you, though. Keeping in touch would be easy with social media.
Probably not what you wanted to hear, but it is realistic.
I would want to keep things on good terms with you, though. Keeping in touch would be easy with social media.
Probably not what you wanted to hear, but it is realistic.
Posted by truecap
If it were me moving abroad, I would probably end the relationship hopefully amicably. Yes, it would hurt, and I wouldn't want to, but the realism of the distance would cause it to be difficult to maintain the relationship and I would be forced to understand that. It would only be fair to both to have a chance to start over without ties back home.
I would want to keep things on good terms with you, though. Keeping in touch would be easy with social media.
Probably not what you wanted to hear, but it is realistic.
well that is exactly what i am expecting to happen, though as a human being i am still hoping that perhaps there is tiny bit of hope things migjt go some other way...
I had a similar situation going on with my now ex-Virgo. She was moving to the other side of the world for a year and I had plans to go abroad for my studies. That would mean that by the time our relationship would have been a year old, we would need to turn it into a long distance thing for at least 1-2 years.
We both knew that was not going to happen so we ended it right there.
It's harsh and I didn't want to end it but it was the best choice.
We both knew that was not going to happen so we ended it right there.
It's harsh and I didn't want to end it but it was the best choice.
I should add, a colleague of mine told me about how when she met her boyfriend they already knew it would only last for less than a year because she would be going on a world trip. The trip lasted 3 years but because they ended it on amicable terms they eventually got together again after she came back.
As far as I can tell there are two options in your case:
1. You stay together until 2-3 months in one of you breaks off the relationship because he/she cannot take it anymore. (I've studied abroad. This is what I saw all the time.)
2. You stay together and hope both of you stay faithful. E.g. don't cheat.
3. Break it off while you are still on good terms. Let both of you be free. And see what happens if and when he comes back.
If you go for the third option create some distance. He will be building up a new life, meeting new people, getting seduced by the local wildlife. You don't want to hear these daily stories all the time. It keeps both of you attached. Treat this like a regular break-up that you can look back on in a good way and where drunken calls are a whole lot more expensive.
😉
But the most important question in this case is not so much how you feel but the more practical one;
Is there anything like a shared goal, a shared future you are working towards?
And by that I don't mean the relationship.
A friend of mine was abroad for half a year while her boyfriend was on the other side of the world. But they already had a relationship for a year and a half before that and were planning to move in together after their respective trips to continue their studies in the same city.
That is why it worked. Well.. that and the incredibly romantic messages they sent each other. It was almost like a competition of romance. 😛
As far as I can tell there are two options in your case:
1. You stay together until 2-3 months in one of you breaks off the relationship because he/she cannot take it anymore. (I've studied abroad. This is what I saw all the time.)
2. You stay together and hope both of you stay faithful. E.g. don't cheat.
3. Break it off while you are still on good terms. Let both of you be free. And see what happens if and when he comes back.
If you go for the third option create some distance. He will be building up a new life, meeting new people, getting seduced by the local wildlife. You don't want to hear these daily stories all the time. It keeps both of you attached. Treat this like a regular break-up that you can look back on in a good way and where drunken calls are a whole lot more expensive.
😉
But the most important question in this case is not so much how you feel but the more practical one;
Is there anything like a shared goal, a shared future you are working towards?
And by that I don't mean the relationship.
A friend of mine was abroad for half a year while her boyfriend was on the other side of the world. But they already had a relationship for a year and a half before that and were planning to move in together after their respective trips to continue their studies in the same city.
That is why it worked. Well.. that and the incredibly romantic messages they sent each other. It was almost like a competition of romance. 😛
I like option #3. ^^
Posted by TigerCap
As far as I can tell there are two options in your case:
1. You stay together until 2-3 months in one of you breaks off the relationship because he/she cannot take it anymore. (I've studied abroad. This is what I saw all the time.)
2. You stay together and hope both of you stay faithful. E.g. don't cheat.
3. Break it off while you are still on good terms. Let both of you be free. And see what happens if and when he comes back.
If you go for the third option create some distance. He will be building up a new life, meeting new people, getting seduced by the local wildlife. You don't want to hear these daily stories all the time. It keeps both of you attached. Treat this like a regular break-up that you can look back on in a good way and where drunken calls are a whole lot more expensive.
😉
But the most important question in this case is not so much how you feel but the more practical one;
Is there anything like a shared goal, a shared future you are working towards?
And by that I don't mean the relationship.
Firstly thanks a lot for your replies and meaningful advice.
As for my situation, option 3, despite being the most difficult one (for me at least) is most probably the best option in the long term, but i guess we are yet to decide on what we are going to do. i have personally experienced LDR, and i didnt have an issue with it, yes it was hard, but it has its good sides too. personally i believe people should always give it a try, because not even trying is sort of a betrayal for me, but thats what i personally thing, and would never even think of pressing my views on my partner, let alone making him obliged to stay with me if he thinks otherwise.
As for the shared goals and future plans, in all honesty no simply because we knew that this was going to happen (he is a foreigner in my country), somwe never made any fixed future plans amd commitments. if it counts for anything we both have a same vision on what kind of place we want to live and work later on in life, but we never said it would be the two of us as a couple...
It's very rare that the easiest option is the best one. 😉
I would say that counts as a no. You found a kindred soul but since you never made any plans together I would urge you to go for option 3. Who knows what might happen in a few years.
Posted by nngemini
[...]As for the shared goals and future plans, in all honesty no simply because we knew that this was going to happen (he is a foreigner in my country), somwe never made any fixed future plans amd commitments. if it counts for anything we both have a same vision on what kind of place we want to live and work later on in life, but we never said it would be the two of us as a couple...
I would say that counts as a no. You found a kindred soul but since you never made any plans together I would urge you to go for option 3. Who knows what might happen in a few years.
Posted by TigerCap
It's very rare that the easiest option is the best one. 😉
Posted by nngemini
[...]As for the shared goals and future plans, in all honesty no simply because we knew that this was going to happen (he is a foreigner in my country), somwe never made any fixed future plans amd commitments. if it counts for anything we both have a same vision on what kind of place we want to live and work later on in life, but we never said it would be the two of us as a couple...
I would say that counts as a no. You found a kindred soul but since you never made any plans together I would urge you to go for option 3. Who knows what might happen in a few years.click to expand
i agree with you 100% ...at first when i found i panicked and was ready to do anything but option 3, but as the days go by, and i am coming to terms with the reality, i see that all we can do is spend nicely what we have left together, and part our ways.
as life is unpredictable, who knows what tomorrow brings.
i am currently in a good mood, so lets hope my current convictions stay this way which i doubt since i am a typical gemini haha
but thank you once again for yourkind replies 🙂
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