Dunno, prove me wrong, maybe?

A recent thread here brought up a memory:

Posted by MegVar
...telling me all about how he's been talking to this other girl for three days, but he has all of these deep strong feelings for me, because of our instant connection, yet he still wants to see her and not me. Because he sees a "FUTURE" with her. He offered me the ever so tempting opportunity to prove him wrong...

There's this Cap girl that I still have feelings for who made almost the same remark... The situation is different, she has a boyfriend and at first, we were just friends. She kept saying how they spend so little time together and it's as if he wasn't there at all, talking about the future where there's no place for him. I started slowly falling for her, spending more and more time with her and before long I felt sure that she will leave him and we'll start dating. Even more so after she spent a night at my place and then another two days in a row.

Instead, she suddenly started becoming distant and in the end she told me she really wanted to leave him at first but they've spent so much time together and there were not only the bad times but also good times (her 1st real relationship) and what if I leave her in the future and so on and on - so basically, she will stay with him. But yeah, if I could keep a low profile, keep in touch (just without the physical intimacies) and prove her wrong, she feels she might love me - that she's completely clueless here, so it's up to me. That she never before experienced anything like that in her life and doesn't regret any moment of it, wouldn't change a thing.. things like that. Yet she's not certain we have a future together and she's not one to take chances and will only commit if she's 100% sure so it's just a 'maybe'.

Kinda just had to get it off my chest.

There are just some people you can see a future with and there are some people you can't. Could be for a number of reasons.

That's something I'm ok with. No, what threw me off tracks was her saying I should keep at it while she's with him - and if I do, things might change (or maybe not). That was the weird part, keeping the things as they are when she's with him.

Posted by evalani290
"She's not certain we have a future together and she's not one to take chances" She told you this after she spent the night at your place or before?

After the second night with me or rather after I couldn't resist and stopped by to give her a hug and we went for a short walk, just talking, taking pictures ('hey, those are our first photos together' in her own words). She has these moments when she will cut contact for a while and she had one just after that.

Posted by evalani290
"She told me she really wanted to leave him at first but they've spent so much time together and there were not only the bad times but also good times" So she just found that there were bad but also good moments?

That's what I don't get either, she even told me that one of the reasons she wants to keep things as they are is that they appear to be a perfect couple to the outside world and that she knows she can make it work.

Posted by evalani290
I would tell her to prove to YOU that she's worth it based on all this. How could you be able to prove her something that she's not practicing herself?
Get yourself together...you're not thinking straight.

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It's been a few months, I have mostly cut contact with her since - it was the comment I quoted in the post that set the thoughts off in my head again. I felt there was nothing more I could do to prove it - even though she would tell me she trusts me and believes what I say, she didn't. She would question anything nice I told her. The feelings I have for her didn't change, but she's with him and I can't live like that, and there's no way I could roll back the clock.

Proving yourself would be something I would expect and accept from a capricorn woman but not man. Capricorn woman IMHO like a guy to court her, prove he's going to make the effort. But IMHO the Capricorn man would observe from afar to know if you are worthy... But to outright say something like that to prove yourself ... Arrogant in my opinion. But in both cases if there is someone else in the background forget... Better to be pick not backup..