interpret .... (sorry about earlier post)!

another question from worrier virgo:

cap bf likes to ask if my other female friends are single. why is that so?
is he looking for back up?

I asked him back if it mattered that they r single or not. he says just for the fun of it.

maybe this is not a capricorn specific question. but it really makes me feel highly insecure...

from what I have gathered, he is venus in cap and moon in sagi.

perhaps we r in a phase too early in our relationship to be secure, but I only hope to do my best despite how new the relationship is and move in from there... the idea of backups just don't work well w me....

urgh. thanks anyway! all ur replies to date have been v helpful!!!

I'd be so not happy with that kind of question...
Unless he's a good guy who likes you a lot and wants to intro his best mates with yours and get some double dates happening??

i would've asked him if his friends were single.

I try to respect his time w his frens, never asked too much about his friends, even though yes for a while I did ask him back and his reply was se single some no...

Is that all he asks about them - if they're single?

You definitely should consider not having him around your girl friends, I'm just saying.

StoicGoat - yes, he didn't manage to ask more cause I'll ask him why he needs to know.

Tiki33 - yeah we r not so stable for me to intro him to my group of friends yet...

still...
kinda disappointing though...
as much as I try not to think too muh about it...

He could be a creep. He could also just be trying to figure out why you talk about them the way you do.

Yeh, it doesn't sound good and I don't think it's worth rationalising... Many an honourable cap would, as champ suggested, be more specific I think.
They demand trust, but they're not unaware it's a two way street either so...
As you say, it's early days.

Posted by wagtail
I'd be so not happy with that kind of question...
Unless he's a good guy who likes you a lot and wants to intro his best mates with yours and get some double dates happening??

I thought that too, then after more thought on it, why wouldn't he tell her?

Also, he could be sizing them up as to their behavior so if she says she is going out with so and so, then is she the single, wild one? or the one in a serious relationship? or the single, steady one with a good head on her shouldders? or is she the slutty one? or the one who cheats on her boyfriend? etc. That way, when you go out with so and so, he knows whether he should worry about her or not.

Still, the question seems fishy. I'd probably call him out on it wanting to know why he asks. If he blows it off with 'no reason' or some other lame answer, then I probably wouldn't tell him.

Posted by truecap

Posted by wagtail
I'd be so not happy with that kind of question...
Unless he's a good guy who likes you a lot and wants to intro his best mates with yours and get some double dates happening??

I thought that too, then after more thought on it, why wouldn't he tell her?

Also, he could be sizing them up as to their behavior so if she says she is going out with so and so, then is she the single, wild one? or the one in a serious relationship? or the single, steady one with a good head on her shouldders? or is she the slutty one? or the one who cheats on her boyfriend? etc. That way, when you go out with so and so, he knows whether he should worry about her or not.

Still, the question seems fishy. I'd probably call him out on it wanting to know why he asks. If he blows it off with 'no reason' or some other lame answer, then I probably wouldn't tell him.

click to expand

This ^^^^

Thanks trucap, as usual.

You are the company you keep, and I think this is what he is doing, as trucap has already stated.

I have, and will ask the same type questions again in the future. I expect, and would take it as a good sign, if Ms. CapTenn candidate gave me the same line of questioning.

You people jump to the worst conclusions, and if anybody take y'alls conclusions to heart, I wonder how many budding romances you folks have snuffed out?

*smh*

thanks for the advices 🙂 I feel like I am treated as a backup, somehow.
will give this relationship some time, see how things move along. if this continues I don't think it's worth my time and effort to have to worry for all these and I will move on 🙂

had thought to find someone so similar to me. and still find us similar. both of us are workaholics and have that much amount iof time w each other, but I really am looking for a long term thing and this just not fr me.

also hoping tt if he isn't really sure or want us at least try his best for this, he can just let me know ....

🙂

I think your insecurities are getting the best of you. However, if your gut is telling you you're a backup, then listen to your gut.

Just take some time to observe before you make any rash decisions. Be patient and pay attention to the actions. Caps will show you in action how they feel.

Be confident. Be independent. Be your own person. Cap men like that.

Don't be insecure or needy. Don't be emotional and dramatic. Cap men don't like that.

Some men don't like when their gf/wife have single friends because as a single we tend to do things non-single people "shouldn't". Actually, some women have issues too when their SO is out running around with his single friends all the time. There is a certain vibe going on....yes yes yes, of course TRUST should be involved but thinking about it honestly, how many humans REALLY trust to 100% .. Just saying 🙂

Posted by CreepyPants
i would've asked him if his friends were single.

+++

thanks!
will be patient and take it from there. he asks whenever a conversation leads to a female friend...
perhaps he needs more security from me before he can commit, but seems like I also need that from him before I feel secure.
;/

I swear I wish Virgo chicks would stop pulling this shit.

Keep the questions with your partner, ask a few across the board or run scenarios past your friends. Hopefully you have some fire sign friends who will shortcircuit this need to analyze the everliving shit of anyone.

My Aries friends will either slap me figuratively or tell me straight up "you're overthinking shit. our eardrums are hurt. please shut the fuck up"

I just think a lot of people (earth signs) psych themselves out of experiencing another person because they examine them more than they experience them.

Posted by truecap
I think your insecurities are getting the best of you.

I swear Cap, you sometimes crack e up. You think?! lol

^Yes

But seriously in the beginning stages? Save the dilemmas for later when there's a situation you'd really like input on.

Not going to lie..I overanalyze also but I choose based on my gut feeling. If I fuck up..it is what it is.

I swear some of us could go into a heart attack with this hyperventilating shit.

Posted by nightvirgo8888
perhaps he needs more security from me before he can commit, but seems like I also need that from him before I feel secure.
;/

Ahhh, the catch-22 of a cap/virgo relationship. One of you is going to have to go first.