Is Cap testing me/us/this?

Posted by SuninLibraMooninCapVenusinScorpio
He likes you more than a FWB and just wants to make sure you are not sleeping with other men and wouldnt easily sleep with other men in the future.

I dont want to offend you but he will question how easily you would sleep with someone because you slept with him as a FWB. I know you mentioned that you would 'surely walk away if he thinks i would ever do that...' but you did it with him so he is just checking.

It sounds like you like him more than a FWB too so maybe you both should talk about making a serious commitment rather than having sex with no commitment.

+1

He's basically trying to open up to you and express that he has feelings for you and wants to take it to the next level. HOWEVER, you are not responding back with the same sentiment. You're saying nothing and that makes him think you're not on the same page. Had you responded likewise, he would have pursued the conversation and told you more.

"Anyway, last night we go out (for the first time with random ppl we didnt really know) one of his i guess fiends starts drinking and being a little too flirty to me.. I told him to cut it off. His friend said.."why? im sure x wouldnt mind, ask him". X heard the conversation looked at me and said "whatever you want to do" of course i did nothing. X kind of stopped talking to me for the rest of the night.

Here, you screwed up because you said nothing and didn't verbally confirm to him that you wouldn't. So like she said, he is doubting whether you'll be faithful. He stopped talking to you because he was withdrawing, because he was likely a little hurt because you didn't answer the way he expected you to, and was deep in his thoughts, processing and analyzing your reaction.

So, your lack of confirming you want to be in a relationship with him, will cause him to step back and regroup, possibly deciding you aren't serious or on the same page feelings-wise. You're likely to lose him if you don't learn to be more honest and direct.

It is hard for a cap to put themselves out there. Caps don't like being out on a limb. They don't take risks for the most part. In my opinion, your lack of responding the way he hoped, would cause him to back off and re-think our feelings for you.

Posted by airespisces
its just that his life is so busy that I dont want to sign up to waiting around for his call so in a way I am protected like this.

Tell him this. Be honest with him. He can't understand you if you don't talk to him.

Your situation sounds really similar to mine with a Cap fwb. I second what truecap said about telling him straight up what you are thinking/feeling.

In my experience, Caps in love can be quite possessive, protective, jealous, and competitive.

He wants to know you're with him exclusively, and really wants to build a future together. Yes, they are workaholics, and can be self absorbed. That's something that bugs me too. With my Cap, I pick the date to meet, but he plays around with the time.

It's a good sign that he doesn't drink much because mine can get melancholy a lot. I called him a "high functioning alcoholic" last night. The next day, he talked about his plan to stop drinking. He's also been able to quit smoking after decades of it. I'm not going to say he did it for me, but I think when Caps are in love, they make a real and serious effort. This is definitely a plus, so if he's in love with you, tell him what you want and he will try to make it work.

Posted by airespisces
Caps are awesome!!! Especially if you re patient and supportive they are AMAZING! 🙂))

Actually, in this situation, I think you have this backwards. HE is being patient with YOU. I see no evidence that you are being patient with him.

Caps are patient people, but if you don't throw us a bone every now and then, we're likely to give up and go play in someone else's yard.

So, for you own sake, stop ignoring calls, start reassuring him, let him know in un uncertain terms that you only want to be with him, be HONEST with him and prove to him that you are loyal.

I meant *no uncertain terms*

He sounds manipulative, childish, and controlling to me. Good luck with that.

Just step back and think not of what he's selling you, but think of what you actually want. Him saying how amazing life could be is fantasy. He is thinking ahead and building from his thoughs, which is probably why you are hesitant as you should be. Its ALL him right now. Has he asked you yet what you want?

Then training you to his dislikes, giving ultimatums, not putting his disrespectful friend in his place, nearly pushing you on him then withdrawing at your reaction. Wth...all too much! This is all a bit manipulative and backwards from someone that hasnt really talked to you about a relationship, or even officially asked you out or to be exclusive.

I think he needs to grow up. If he likes you and want to date he needs to be a man and be direct...not do all of this weird stuff that makes your head spin.

I know how you feel about you being reliable, and him seemingly not so much. Are you a fire sign or water sign? I'm a fire sign (Sagittarius), and while I understand my Cap very well, deep down I know I don't want to be with someone who "lives to work". I highly respect him though.

Work does seem to come first for Caps, but if they are in love, they will make an effort to build something with you, albeit on their own time. When I first started hanging out with my Cap we would Skype until 4am, when he had to work at 6am. He was late for work twice in one week, and this really really freaked him out because he got reprimanded. He's now understandably more strict about it. Maybe your Cap is working on something really important at work...they usually are 🙂

I think love is a top priority for them....maybe top 3. My guess is work, family, and love. When they really love someone, it's so strong. My Cap says it's "dangerous".

Any Caps want to weight in? I just wonder if they take it for granted once they have it because it's like a job done?

I think you are correct in your assessment.

Posted by airespisces
I guess what I m trying to say is he can rely on me but I cant rely on him. and that s ok as lond as I dont need to rely on him and do me in between. so it works for both if I m ok with it. which i was because it was fun untill he started all these discussions about being together being more than this etc etc. so I dont get why he didnt leave it to fun times. he cant handle more anyway? i dont know if im being clear but I hope you get what im trying to say.

I don't know if I could be with someone I couldn't rely on. Not only is that important in a relationship, but it's at the top of the list for a friendship.