@truecap
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Make your way up the mountain cappies (Page 2)
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Posted by truecap
Capricorn moon.That's a lot of Capricorn.
And even more, cap mercury as wel!
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With that much Saturn influence, life must almost look bleak.
But then people with heavy Saturn influence also tend to have a life that gets better and better with age.
Posted by truecap
Capricorn moon.That's a lot of Capricorn.
And even more, cap mercury as wel!
With that much Saturn influence, life must almost look bleak.
But then people with heavy Saturn influence also tend to have a life that gets better and better with age.
click to expand
I'm much happier now than I was in my 20s. 🙂
Update - Great evening out today, fantastic dinner. She was asking me all sorts of questions.
Interestingly - She wanted to know what the attributes of a cancer were. What do you guys think?
Well, any opinions on how this is going?
She likes you, dude.
I have a good feeling about this truecap! The only thing that slightly troubles me is her long silences, I may not even hear from her for two or ten weeks, if I don't text her.
Posted by incandescentcancer
Me - Successful, Sun in Cancer and Moon in Capricorn
Her - Elegant, classy, Sun in Capricorn and Moon in CancerI think adding her to my life would help me be more successful. We are going on our third date. She never initiates and I need to ask her out all the time, is this a common thing? When I am with her she is full of laughter and happiness, we talk about a ton of things. Is this cappy interested in me? Ask if you need more info~
I think it's the man's role to initiate.
Yea, but its not the 1950s anymore.
You are allowed outside of the kitchen and bedroom you know
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That's just an excuse for men to be lazy.
3 days not a word, no response to a text message.
It's quite possible that she's busy and I can understand that fine.
But this is exactly what makes Cancer jittery, we expect to hear back. Atleast a one liner......
Is she going to do this all the time?
Maybe she saw it and forgot to respond. I do that a lot. Just busy at the moment, then get busy and forget. Or maybe the text didn't go through. Reach out again and see what happens.
Whatever you do, don't get defensive or act butt hurt about it. That's my biggest turn off on cancers. I dated one and he would get defensive and all sarcastic and whiney if i didn't respond in a certain amount of time or if I wanted to go do something without him. Then he played that manipulation game trying to play on my guilt or something. Unknowest to him, there was no guilt, it just pissed me off.
Just keep things light and fun and friendly. Send her a funny meme or something that will make her laugh. Remember, the way to a cappy's heart is through a sense of humor. Make me laugh and I'm yours.
Posted by incandescentcancer
3 days not a word, no response to a text message.It's quite possible that she's busy and I can understand that fine.
But this is exactly what makes Cancer jittery, we expect to hear back. Atleast a one liner......
Is she going to do this all the time?
Probably so unfortunately.
Posted by incandescentcancer
I have a good feeling about this truecap! The only thing that slightly troubles me is her long silences, I may not even hear from her for two or ten weeks, if I don't text her.She sounds lazy (Cancer Moon is the culprit).
If she is this lazy outside of the bedroom with something as simple as initiating a text, likely laziness will show its ugly head in the bedroom.
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It could be laziness, it could be a form of testing to see how much he's into her, it could be that she's not comfortable yet, which could also be a lack of confidence.
Lots of possibilities.
Posted by truecap
Maybe she saw it and forgot to respond. I do that a lot. Just busy at the moment, then get busy and forget. Or maybe the text didn't go through. Reach out again and see what happens.Whatever you do, don't get defensive or act butt hurt about it. That's my biggest turn off on cancers. I dated one and he would get defensive and all sarcastic and whiney if i didn't respond in a certain amount of time or if I wanted to go do something without him. Then he played that manipulation game trying to play on my guilt or something. Unknowest to him, there was no guilt, it just pissed me off.
Just keep things light and fun and friendly. Send her a funny meme or something that will make her laugh. Remember, the way to a cappy's heart is through a sense of humor. Make me laugh and I'm yours.
Normally, my reaction would have been very sarcastic about this but I will refrain. The other things don't bother me and I don't like guilting people, so that should be ok.
Posted by BlackMamba
IC
I would not contact her until she contacts you again. You're not a clown. If she can't even text you or bother with younot worth it.
im sorry. Nobody forgets to text that guy they actually like.
That is the last thing I am going to do, turn this into an ego trip. I am much older than her and I am going to act my age about it.
Besides, I have always won women over by sheer persistence, that's what I do.
Posted by Caplove
3 days? Ugh. Well.. maybe she'll text back today, think positive.
I texted her this morning about 5 hours ago, so not really 3 days since I texted her...lol.
Posted by Caplove
Did you ask her a question though? Sometimes when people just make statements via text I don't respond because I think.. "well there's not much for me to say back." Then I just don't respond.
No, I didn't really ask her anything. I was like hi, good morning....have a good day, whatever. I think that usually merits a good day yourself.
But I see your point of view, I do the same. Plus last week, I have her this big spiel on conserving energy and responding only to important messages. What does she do, turn around and practice it on me. Goddamn wymin....
This is the NY dating scene, I cut her some slack usually. Too many douchebags in suits and women just don't know where they stand.
I wonder what her Cancer moon is doing to her, that's got to play a big part.
I know the my Capricorn moon greatly evens out my Cancer sun's emotional responses. I get up and move on from disappointments very quickly due to the Cap moon.
I just wonder, whether under that placid surface lies a very clingy girl....
Posted by truecap
Maybe she saw it and forgot to respond. I do that a lot. Just busy at the moment, then get busy and forget. Or maybe the text didn't go through. Reach out again and see what happens.Whatever you do, don't get defensive or act butt hurt about it. That's my biggest turn off on cancers. I dated one and he would get defensive and all sarcastic and whiney if i didn't respond in a certain amount of time or if I wanted to go do something without him. Then he played that manipulation game trying to play on my guilt or something. Unknowest to him, there was no guilt, it just pissed me off.
Just keep things light and fun and friendly. Send her a funny meme or something that will make her laugh. Remember, the way to a cappy's heart is through a sense of humor. Make me laugh and I'm yours.
so you only see it from your perspective, not the other's?
selfish.
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No, just offering up one Capricorn perspective. Trying to be helpful and supportive.
Posted by truecap
Maybe she saw it and forgot to respond. I do that a lot. Just busy at the moment, then get busy and forget. Or maybe the text didn't go through. Reach out again and see what happens.Whatever you do, don't get defensive or act butt hurt about it. That's my biggest turn off on cancers. I dated one and he would get defensive and all sarcastic and whiney if i didn't respond in a certain amount of time or if I wanted to go do something without him. Then he played that manipulation game trying to play on my guilt or something. Unknowest to him, there was no guilt, it just pissed me off.
Just keep things light and fun and friendly. Send her a funny meme or something that will make her laugh. Remember, the way to a cappy's heart is through a sense of humor. Make me laugh and I'm yours.
so you only see it from your perspective, not the other's?
selfish.
click to expand
No, just offering up one Capricorn perspective. Trying to be helpful and supportive.
Posted by truecap
Maybe she saw it and forgot to respond. I do that a lot. Just busy at the moment, then get busy and forget. Or maybe the text didn't go through. Reach out again and see what happens.Whatever you do, don't get defensive or act butt hurt about it. That's my biggest turn off on cancers. I dated one and he would get defensive and all sarcastic and whiney if i didn't respond in a certain amount of time or if I wanted to go do something without him. Then he played that manipulation game trying to play on my guilt or something. Unknowest to him, there was no guilt, it just pissed me off.
Just keep things light and fun and friendly. Send her a funny meme or something that will make her laugh. Remember, the way to a cappy's heart is through a sense of humor. Make me laugh and I'm yours.
Normally, my reaction would have been very sarcastic about this but I will refrain. The other things don't bother me and I don't like guilting people, so that should be ok.
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I think that one guy I dated was very unevolved.
Posted by Caplove
Did you ask her a question though? Sometimes when people just make statements via text I don't respond because I think.. "well there's not much for me to say back." Then I just don't respond.No, I didn't really ask her anything. I was like hi, good morning....have a good day, whatever. I think that usually merits a good day yourself.
But I see your point of view, I do the same. Plus last week, I have her this big spiel on conserving energy and responding only to important messages. What does she do, turn around and practice it on me. Goddamn wymin....
This is the NY dating scene, I cut her some slack usually. Too many douchebags in suits and women just don't know where they stand.
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She could be just doing what she thinks you want her to do. She might be confused on what you meant in your spiel.
Posted by Caplove
Did you ask her a question though? Sometimes when people just make statements via text I don't respond because I think.. "well there's not much for me to say back." Then I just don't respond.No, I didn't really ask her anything. I was like hi, good morning....have a good day, whatever. I think that usually merits a good day yourself.
But I see your point of view, I do the same. Plus last week, I have her this big spiel on conserving energy and responding only to important messages. What does she do, turn around and practice it on me. Goddamn wymin....
This is the NY dating scene, I cut her some slack usually. Too many douchebags in suits and women just don't know where they stand.
She could be just doing what she thinks you want her to do. She might be confused on what you meant in your spiel.
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No worries, she just texted me back....lol.
I am giving the poor girl a hard time, she is doing her best.
I think that one guy I dated was very unevolved.
click to expandYeah, when we are young we are not very smart about our emotions. It's all me, me, me....not much thought goes into the other person. The other problem is that Cancers don't get that you can't have feelings bloom by being a wet blanket covering a plant. You have to let the plant be free in order for the flowers to bloom.
I think that one guy I dated was very unevolved.
Yeah, when we are young we are not very smart about our emotions. It's all me, me, me....not much thought goes into the other person. The other problem is that Cancers don't get that you can't have feelings bloom by being a wet blanket covering a plant. You have to let the plant be free in order for the flowers to bloom.
click to expandThe two cancers I dated in college were awesome. Dated this one after my divorce. The guy was in his early to mid 40's. We had only dated a month or less and he was smothering me. I realize that most aren't that bad.
I think that one guy I dated was very unevolved.
Yeah, when we are young we are not very smart about our emotions. It's all me, me, me....not much thought goes into the other person. The other problem is that Cancers don't get that you can't have feelings bloom by being a wet blanket covering a plant. You have to let the plant be free in order for the flowers to bloom.
The two cancers I dated in college were awesome. Dated this one after my divorce. The guy was in his early to mid 40's. We had only dated a month or less and he was smothering me. I realize that most aren't that bad.
click to expandI have never understood why Cancer men and Cap women are not more of a couple. They should really be a star couple achieving great things, look at Prince William and Kate Middleton. That to me is how good a power couple these two signs should make.
I think that one guy I dated was very unevolved.
Yeah, when we are young we are not very smart about our emotions. It's all me, me, me....not much thought goes into the other person. The other problem is that Cancers don't get that you can't have feelings bloom by being a wet blanket covering a plant. You have to let the plant be free in order for the flowers to bloom.
The two cancers I dated in college were awesome. Dated this one after my divorce. The guy was in his early to mid 40's. We had only dated a month or less and he was smothering me. I realize that most aren't that bad.
I have never understood why Cancer men and Cap women are not more of a couple. They should really be a star couple achieving great things, look at Prince William and Kate Middleton. That to me is how good a power couple these two signs should make.
click to expandI agree. This should be the financial power couple with a nice home and family life that others envy.
Sometimes though, the capricorn is too insensitive to the cancer's needs so that the cancer feels neglected. If the cap could learn to be more considerate, it works.
From the other side of the coin, the cancer is too smothering/clingy to the cap and if the cancer learns to give more freedom or expect less emotional/romantic stuff, it works. The cap can learn to share and deal with emotions from a cancer. The cancer learns to toughen up and not be so emotional from a cap.I think it's an easy fix if both are willing to consider the other. It is an awesome mix when it works.
One set of my ex in-laws are cancer man/capricorn woman and they are an amazing couple. Very happy, secure and can just read each other so well. They balance each other out.
In person cannot stop talking (like..... woman stop), once away doesn't say a word. You goats are enigmatic creatures....lol.
Posted by incandescentcancer
In person cannot stop talking (like..... woman stop), once away doesn't say a word. You goats are enigmatic creatures....lol.
I only talk like that with people I'm really comfortable with. 🙂
When not in person, I'm being productive and getting stuff done, saving up the conversation for when we're in person again.
Posted by incandescentcancer
In person cannot stop talking (like..... woman stop), once away doesn't say a word. You goats are enigmatic creatures....lol.I only talk like that with people I'm really comfortable with. 🙂
When not in person, I'm being productive and getting stuff done, saving up the conversation for when we're in person again.
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I am really getting used to the silence part, as a Cancer acceptance of that approach is not natural to me. Feeling connected consistently is a cancer thing, however I am beginning to understand that just because someone is silent doesn't mean they don't like you. Just another style of doing things.
But, I am going to stay consistent and message her every day or two to see how she is doing. Last night, I messaged her that the client dinner I was at was very boring and I was thinking of conversations with her to pass time. She saw it but didn't reply and I am kind of wondering what she thought of the text, that's the kind of feedback I don't get from her....lol.
Posted by incandescentcancer
In person cannot stop talking (like..... woman stop), once away doesn't say a word. You goats are enigmatic creatures....lol.I only talk like that with people I'm really comfortable with. 🙂
When not in person, I'm being productive and getting stuff done, saving up the conversation for when we're in person again.
I am really getting used to the silence part, as a Cancer acceptance of that approach is not natural to me. Feeling connected consistently is a cancer thing, however I am beginning to understand that just because someone is silent doesn't mean they don't like you. Just another style of doing things.
But, I am going to stay consistent and message her every day or two to see how she is doing. Last night, I messaged her that the client dinner I was at was very boring and I was thinking of conversations with her to pass time. She saw it but didn't reply and I am kind of wondering what she thought of the text, that's the kind of feedback I don't get from her....lol.
This. I think it can definitely be mistaken for disinterest. As long as she's consistent though and reciprocates, you're on track. It's when there's dead silence and no response when you need to move on. She's responding, just on her own time frame.
That last part bolded is really sweet. 🙂 She's probably just thinking it over and wondering how to respond to it.
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I just remembered that her mom is in town, she is very attached to mommy. That could be the reason for the silence as well, managing work and time with mom.
So if it does end, you think it will end in deafening silence? She's just going to tune me out, just like that? That's cold....
I am going to warm her heart, I have plenty of sweet things to say where that one came from!
Just don't overdo it with the sweetness. A little bit goes a long way.
Things like this are super awesome, though:
In college, I had a cancer boyfriend and one evening I had menstrual cramps really, really bad. The next day he sent me flowers with a note that said "I hope you feel better today". It was sweet and kind and melted me that he cared enough to do that.
Posted by Caplove
Don't worry about the end. Good vibes! Yes, she's probably busy with her mom and making sure she's having fun on her visit. Don't hold it against her if she's a bit delayed. When my mom was visiting I was so stressed out trying to entertain her, shuttled her all over the place, I didn't have time for anything. She's a bit of a handful though. 😄
Yeah, she was very excited about that. She was telling me about how she had to plan taking her mom out everywhere.
I am definitely not going to hold that against her, she probably has her hands full. God bless my mother but she can be quite a handful, I know from experience....lol.
Posted by incandescentcancer
In person cannot stop talking (like..... woman stop), once away doesn't say a word. You goats are enigmatic creatures....lol.I only talk like that with people I'm really comfortable with. 🙂
When not in person, I'm being productive and getting stuff done, saving up the conversation for when we're in person again.
I am really getting used to the silence part, as a Cancer acceptance of that approach is not natural to me. Feeling connected consistently is a cancer thing, however I am beginning to understand that just because someone is silent doesn't mean they don't like you. Just another style of doing things.
But, I am going to stay consistent and message her every day or two to see how she is doing. Last night, I messaged her that the client dinner I was at was very boring and I was thinking of conversations with her to pass time. She saw it but didn't reply and I am kind of wondering what she thought of the text, that's the kind of feedback I don't get from her....lol.
This. I think it can definitely be mistaken for disinterest. As long as she's consistent though and reciprocates, you're on track. It's when there's dead silence and no response when you need to move on. She's responding, just on her own time frame.
That last part bolded is really sweet. 🙂 She's probably just thinking it over and wondering how to respond to it.
I just remembered that her mom is in town, she is very attached to mommy. That could be the reason for the silence as well, managing work and time with mom.
So if it does end, you think it will end in deafening silence? She's just going to tune me out, just like that? That's cold....
I am going to warm her heart, I have plenty of sweet things to say where that one came from!
Don't worry about the end. Good vibes! Yes, she's probably busy with her mom and making sure she's having fun on her visit. Don't hold it against her if she's a bit delayed. When my mom was visiting I was so stressed out trying to entertain her, shuttled her all over the place, I didn't have time for anything. She's a bit of a handful though. 😄
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I agree.
i changed.
I used to not feel like texting needed to be real time. my scorp never failed to respond to my text as soon as he could and it really made me feel good so I started doing that to make him feel good and not worried.
I also used to hate phone calls (will still kinda do lol) especially when I was really busy and stressed. one time my scorp called and I said (bitchy yep) you know I'm super busy these couple days so if there is nothing important, let's talk later. "I just called to hear your voice. just 2 mins" made me feel like an ass and what he said melted my heart. after that, i always have time for his calls, with a smile 🙂
Posted by iCloud9
i changed.I used to not feel like texting needed to be real time. my scorp never failed to respond to my text as soon as he could and it really made me feel good so I started doing that to make him feel good and not worried.
I also used to hate phone calls (will still kinda do lol) especially when I was really busy and stressed. one time my scorp called and I said (bitchy yep) you know I'm super busy these couple days so if there is nothing important, let's talk later. "I just called to hear your voice. just 2 mins" made me feel like an ass and what he said melted my heart. after that, i always have time for his calls, with a smile 🙂
Ahhh, there is hope then. I will keep chipping away 😄
How do I spend money on doing nice things for her like dinners, theatre tickets etc. without making her feel negative about it? I want to make sure that she knows I am not trying to angle for something or make her feel that I am doing all the spending.
If she offers to pay, let her pay occasionally.
you can buy her a mansion after you are married lol. before that, I sure hope she is not the type who wants a sugar daddy. i hated feeling like i owed someone especially a man i was getting to know. i wanted to feel guilt free when i decided to quit at a moment's notice. i know this explanation sounds awful lol but you get the idea. also, men who INSISTED to pay often turned out to be the wrong type
Posted by iCloud9
you can buy her a mansion after you are married lol. before that, I sure hope she is not the type who wants a sugar daddy. i hated feeling like i owed someone especially a man i was getting to know. i wanted to feel guilt free when i decided to quit at a moment's notice. i know this explanation sounds awful lol but you get the idea. also, men who INSISTED to pay often turned out to be the wrong type
Im like that too. I dont want nobody holding anything over my head.
Posted by iCloud9
you can buy her a mansion after you are married lol. before that, I sure hope she is not the type who wants a sugar daddy. i hated feeling like i owed someone especially a man i was getting to know. i wanted to feel guilt free when i decided to quit at a moment's notice. i know this explanation sounds awful lol but you get the idea. also, men who INSISTED to pay often turned out to be the wrong typeIm like that too. I dont want nobody holding anything over my head.
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That's exactly the point ladies, I neither want to hold anything over her nor do I want her to feel that way. That said, I also want to show her how much I appreciate her, so just want to see what the Cap perspective is on this.
Men should pay on a date. You don't owe them anything and if they think you do, then there's your red flag to dump him because he isn't a good person.
I read some relationship research that when men are allowed to do things for women, the man is more likely to develop feelings for her. Such as if he is allowed to pay for dinner, or to open doors for her, or to take her places, fix things for her. Men like feeling appreciated and useful and they like feeling needed by their women.
Seems like roles are backward these days. Used to, it was the men trying to prove to the women that they are good men, worth having a relationship with, showing they are financially secure enough and protective enough to take care of their woman. . But, now I observe it's the women who are trying to prove to the men that they're worthy of a relationship. Too many women aren't discerning enough. Women should make the man feel like it is a privilege to be with her rather than the woman showing the man that she is privileged to be with him. Because of the feminist movement, there are men now that are looking for women to support them instead of the other way around. (and no, I don't think either should enter a relationship expecting one to support the other - it's a team effort)
Yes, I'm old fashioned. No, I'm not a gold digger or anything like that, just traditional. A man that goes overboard to impress with money is a red flag, in my opinion.
However, I am modern enough that see no reason why a woman can't pay for dinner occasionally as well, or cooking a home cooked meal for him, or springing for a movie. But to have the philosophy of "I don't want to owe him anything" is silly, in my opinion. He got the pleasure of your company. That's the trade off of his paying for dinner.
And a disclaimer, I'm an older generation than most of these gals on here. So sure, I'm going to have a different opinion than someone in their 20s.
Posted by truecap
I read some relationship research that when men are allowed to do things for women, the man is more likely to develop feelings for her. Such as if he is allowed to pay for dinner, or to open doors for her, or to take her places, fix things for her. Men like feeling appreciated and useful and they like feeling needed by their women.
This is what I am talking about, if I am not allowed to do any of the things you mentioned how am I adding any value into the lady's life? It's not that I don't have a personality or a sense of humor that I am trying to make up with money. I just like to feel that I am doing something nice for her and she feels appreciated.
Posted by truecap
I read some relationship research that when men are allowed to do things for women, the man is more likely to develop feelings for her. Such as if he is allowed to pay for dinner, or to open doors for her, or to take her places, fix things for her. Men like feeling appreciated and useful and they like feeling needed by their women.This is what I am talking about, if I am not allowed to do any of the things you mentioned how am I adding any value into the lady's life? It's not that I don't have a personality or a sense of humor that I am trying to make up with money. I just like to feel that I am doing something nice for her and she feels appreciated.
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And you should! Just don't go overboard. From the female perspective - If you do too much, she might feel smothered or as if you're trying to "buy" her.
Maybe instead of doing financial things, then try to notice things that need to be done at her place. Such as a door that squeaks, offer to fix it. Just pay attention to things she might need help with. Keep in mind that cap women are not good at asking for help, but when someone notices and offers, it is greatly appreciated.
I hope I'm helping and not confusing you more.
Posted by truecap
I read some relationship research that when men are allowed to do things for women, the man is more likely to develop feelings for her. Such as if he is allowed to pay for dinner, or to open doors for her, or to take her places, fix things for her. Men like feeling appreciated and useful and they like feeling needed by their women.This is what I am talking about, if I am not allowed to do any of the things you mentioned how am I adding any value into the lady's life? It's not that I don't have a personality or a sense of humor that I am trying to make up with money. I just like to feel that I am doing something nice for her and she feels appreciated.
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So many women don't get this concept and dynamic. They're more concerned about "not owing someone". It's sad, really.
notice that i said you can buy her a mansion after you are married so I'm not opposed to men to be a man and take care of his girl. in fact, i think a man who would ask the bills to be split into exactly half is not a real man lol
what i dislike was guys who assumed the position before he was there. when we were just getting to know each other, before i was committed. i appreciated nice gestures but when i offer to pay the next one, please do not throw back the $ . can you believe it, there was a guy i just met who did that lol. good thing i didn't see him again lol
your nice gestures will be appreciated, just don't go overboard and don't argue when she wants to pay. basically, be easy going.
Posted by iCloud9
your nice gestures will be appreciated, just don't go overboard and don't argue when she wants to pay. basically, be easy going.
I agree with this.
Posted by iCloud9
notice that i said you can buy her a mansion after you are married so I'm not opposed to men to be a man and take care of his girl. in fact, i think a man who would ask the bills to be split into exactly half is not a real man lolwhat i dislike was guys who assumed the position before he was there. when we were just getting to know each other, before i was committed. i appreciated nice gestures but when i offer to pay the next one, please do not throw back the $ . can you believe it, there was a guy i just met who did that lol. good thing i didn't see him again lol
Omg, that 50/50 bill thing grates my nerves.
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And even more, cap mercury as wel!