truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Need advice: Cap male all of a sudden ignores me
Maybe back off and give him some time.
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Monis, if your style of communication is to text someone and lay it all on the line I'm afraid you're putting whoever is on the receiving end in a difficult position. You're supposed to go out, spend time together, and discuss these things gradually. Just because you're in a certain place doesn't mean someone else is there. Things take time to develop, they're not cut and thrust transactions via text.
Ok, in that case I think his response was pretty immature. Are you sure he is the person you think he is? Why would anyone with half a shred of decency and brain write such a flippant response?
yea it seems like you're forcing his hand too soon. you've upped the ante and he's unsure if his move. capricorns don't often move forward when we're unsure.
IF i were to read into his short text reply "grr to all the feelings," and then his apparent silence thereafter, i'd say it confirms our responses to your OP.
seems like he wants to take his time and move forward. just not THAT fast. even knowing each other for 3 yrs, it's only the recent few weeks that the potential has been a possibility.
IF i were to read into his short text reply "grr to all the feelings," and then his apparent silence thereafter, i'd say it confirms our responses to your OP.
seems like he wants to take his time and move forward. just not THAT fast. even knowing each other for 3 yrs, it's only the recent few weeks that the potential has been a possibility.
@CreepyPants - thank you for the feedback! Soaking it allllll in :\
Cap men are cautious even in love! They will do their research and observe before making a serious commitment.
The more serious he is about you, the more he will go out of his way to ensure you're the one by trying to get to know you. He'll also pay close attention to almost everything you say and file it away for future reference.
Probably was too soon to tell him because you haven't started dating yet. I guess that he's thinking about his course of action right now. Hopefully he'll contact you soon to spend time together.
You'll know if he wants you, there's really no grey area when they are after you!
The more serious he is about you, the more he will go out of his way to ensure you're the one by trying to get to know you. He'll also pay close attention to almost everything you say and file it away for future reference.
Probably was too soon to tell him because you haven't started dating yet. I guess that he's thinking about his course of action right now. Hopefully he'll contact you soon to spend time together.
You'll know if he wants you, there's really no grey area when they are after you!
Posted by RichCap
Monis, if your style of communication is to text someone and lay it all on the line I'm afraid you're putting whoever is on the receiving end in a difficult position. You're supposed to go out, spend time together, and discuss these things gradually. Just because you're in a certain place doesn't mean someone else is there. Things take time to develop, they're not cut and thrust transactions via text.
+100
Agreed, when you INITIALLY introduce a person to your deepest feelings and desires, it is always better to do it in person. Once, he is already familiar with these types of things, then you can further discuss via text.
If you do it too soon, it can be quite intimidating and often misunderstood.
I think you still have a chance. Use some good natured humor (not at his expense) to get back in his graces. People have the most amazing short term memories.
What she said would make me think she is looking for an instant relationship. Can't bypass the "letting chemistry and feelings develop" stage.
Maybe it's because you said you want someone and didn't say you wanted him?
Posted by Capricornman10
Maybe it's because you said you want someone and didn't say you wanted him?
You mean like just settle down. But not necessarily with him? As in like women who want the wedding, but don't care who the groom is?
Posted by Caplove
Well, I agree with what everyone has already said on here. He might have felt too overwhelmed about it. That said, there's NOTHING wrong with knowing what you want and it's great you do. I know exactly what you meant, you didn't really mean HIM personally, it's just your end goal. I don't think the situation is completely lost though.
This is where you find out if he's basically going to scram, never to be heard from again or wait awhile and then start contacting you again. It just depends on what type of guy he is and how really interested he is.
For now, lay off on texting/calling him. You don't need to explain anything else to him, you've told him the type of lady you are and it takes a crap ton of confidence to do what you did. There's something about that confidence that is a real turn on to some people. It means you're not to be trifled with.
From now on, it's up to him if he wants to talk again. Get busy and do your thing. If that's going to scare him away, then so be it.
Looking at it this way, maybe it's not a bad thing he bailed. You're wanting something real and perhaps he just wanted a hook up. So maybe he bailed because he knew you weren't going to be all free and easy with your goodies. Maybe you dodged a bullet. 🙂
that's the problem with texting. meaning and intent can easily get lost. assumptions are easily made.
an intuitively felt connection can be a really special thing, but so is open communication.
i wouldn't worry too much about this. Either A.) he's really thinking things over to be fair to you and himself and will come around soon enough. OR B.) He's scared off/wants something much less serious and is choosing to fade... in which case think about him no more.
an intuitively felt connection can be a really special thing, but so is open communication.
i wouldn't worry too much about this. Either A.) he's really thinking things over to be fair to you and himself and will come around soon enough. OR B.) He's scared off/wants something much less serious and is choosing to fade... in which case think about him no more.
I totally understand how you feel about the "waiting game". How long has it been now? Sorry but that seems a bit rude to not respond to 2 reach out messages.. even on a friend level.. O_o
Good thing you're a Taurus, and probably have some patience. This type of moody behaviour worries me about Cap men... I mean at the very least he should check in and acknowledge your messages/let you know he's alive imo.
Good thing you're a Taurus, and probably have some patience. This type of moody behaviour worries me about Cap men... I mean at the very least he should check in and acknowledge your messages/let you know he's alive imo.
@him and I were on the same page when we first talked 3 years ago about what we want in life.
A lot can change in 3 years, goals change, relationships end and new ones begin, possibly he isn't on the same page with you anymore. June is not too far away, if he ignores you, act slightly distant but cordial, or just doesn't show up at all then he's changed his end goal, feelings have changed about you.
I'm not surprised he's ignoring your text. You did say he didn't have to respond. You also laid a lot of your feelings at his feet, men don't compute feelings like women, a lot of men, a huge majority avoid having to feel, they are not programmed to delve inside their inner world so there is no way he can actually give you something back emotionally, like most men they avoid emotions/feelings at all cost, don't understand them, don't want to understand them if they don't have to.
You didn't do anything wrong per say, he's thinking about it, thinking it through, trying to figure out what's best for him, that could take weeks, months even, a year.
A lot can change in 3 years, goals change, relationships end and new ones begin, possibly he isn't on the same page with you anymore. June is not too far away, if he ignores you, act slightly distant but cordial, or just doesn't show up at all then he's changed his end goal, feelings have changed about you.
I'm not surprised he's ignoring your text. You did say he didn't have to respond. You also laid a lot of your feelings at his feet, men don't compute feelings like women, a lot of men, a huge majority avoid having to feel, they are not programmed to delve inside their inner world so there is no way he can actually give you something back emotionally, like most men they avoid emotions/feelings at all cost, don't understand them, don't want to understand them if they don't have to.
You didn't do anything wrong per say, he's thinking about it, thinking it through, trying to figure out what's best for him, that could take weeks, months even, a year.
Truly you won't know what's going on inside of him after 3 years.
What I'm saying is be realistic, things change in 3 years. Get out of la la land, some men smell it and run.
when you were taken/unavailable he shared more because it was safe to share with you because you were with another man but now that you're free he could be avoiding you altogether because it's not safe anymore.
Being available means he'd have to share feelings consistently and explain and follow through and he may not be prepared to give you what he know you want plus it doesn't help he's still on the rebound from his ex.
He only told you so much because you were safe, he could be vulnerable, he could say how he felt because he knew you were not going to expect anything from him at the end of the day, he knew you were going back to your boyfriend but now that you're single well it's different.
"Grrrr to all the feelings" meant exactly what it meant "Grrrr to all the feelings". He wasn't prepared to give you an answer/reply to all those feelings. What is there to say? I'm sure he was a bit put off and unsure of what you want him to say.
Approach this differently because it is different. If he doesn't pursue you he is not interested in your feelings at the moment so try to keep how you feel to yourself for awhile until you know what's going on with him first.
Instead of figuring out what it all means, forget it for awhile. I'm sure you have something better to figure out regarding your own life, got things to do/accomplish.
The best approach is to give him enough time/space to catch up to his own feelings about you first instead of bombarding him with your stuff.
What I'm saying is be realistic, things change in 3 years. Get out of la la land, some men smell it and run.
when you were taken/unavailable he shared more because it was safe to share with you because you were with another man but now that you're free he could be avoiding you altogether because it's not safe anymore.
Being available means he'd have to share feelings consistently and explain and follow through and he may not be prepared to give you what he know you want plus it doesn't help he's still on the rebound from his ex.
He only told you so much because you were safe, he could be vulnerable, he could say how he felt because he knew you were not going to expect anything from him at the end of the day, he knew you were going back to your boyfriend but now that you're single well it's different.
"Grrrr to all the feelings" meant exactly what it meant "Grrrr to all the feelings". He wasn't prepared to give you an answer/reply to all those feelings. What is there to say? I'm sure he was a bit put off and unsure of what you want him to say.
Approach this differently because it is different. If he doesn't pursue you he is not interested in your feelings at the moment so try to keep how you feel to yourself for awhile until you know what's going on with him first.
Instead of figuring out what it all means, forget it for awhile. I'm sure you have something better to figure out regarding your own life, got things to do/accomplish.
The best approach is to give him enough time/space to catch up to his own feelings about you first instead of bombarding him with your stuff.
If you want all that so soon a Capricorn man is not for you. They are patient and caution people. Trust me I know! I??ve been dealing with a Capricorn man for over 5 years now. Be patient with him. I suggest you stop calling him for at least 1 month and then pop up and call. Have a casual conversation. He need to think your on a different page than before.
im back!!! I remember all the bashing lol!!!
Posted by faith $ golphin
If you want all that so soon a Capricorn man is not for you. They are patient and caution people. Trust me I know! I??ve been dealing with a Capricorn man for over 5 years now. Be patient with him. I suggest you stop calling him for at least 1 month and then pop up and call. Have a casual conversation. He need to think your on a different page than before.
tainly!!!
Posted by faith $ golphin
im back!!! I remember all the bashing lol!!!
Posted by faith $ golphin
If you want all that so soon a Capricorn man is not for you. They are patient and caution people. Trust me I know! I??ve been dealing with a Capricorn man for over 5 years now. Be patient with him. I suggest you stop calling him for at least 1 month and then pop up and call. Have a casual conversation. He need to think your on a different page than before.click to expand
Were you tikigal back in 2010— If so how read your message you sent me back then and tell me if you still seeing the capricorm man you went to vegas with. lol I went to see my friend in Vegas a couple years ago also. I've been seeing him ever since!!
Posted by faith $ golphin
If you want all that so soon a Capricorn man is not for you. They are patient and caution people. Trust me I know! I??ve been dealing with a Capricorn man for over 5 years now. Be patient with him. I suggest you stop calling him for at least 1 month and then pop up and call. Have a casual conversation. He need to think your on a different page than before.
Faith are you referring to me? I've always been tiki33 for years, never knew of another tiki on DXP.
Never been to Vegas with a Cap, wrong female.
If you're not referring to me ignore this comment.
Never been to Vegas with a Cap, wrong female.
If you're not referring to me ignore this comment.
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