Ok, quick question and I just want opnions

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by shaiessence on Thursday, February 9, 2006 and has 14 replies.

Profile picture of shaiessence
@shaiessence
20 YearsCancer

I have a quick question. Why would a Cap man who've you had a previous relationship with but recently broken up, want to kiss you? I'm an all-or-nothing type girl and even though he was my significant other, I'm very strict about kissing outside relationships. I mean, I'm just wondering or maybe I'm stupid, but why would he want to? He wants his cake and eat it too type thing?

Profile picture of CapGirl
@CapGirl
21 Years1,000+ Posts

I thought you all were trying to put this back together, and he had said "whatever happens is fine" or he'll be okay with whatever develops between you. So, maybe there's no label or official declaration that you're back together, but these guys don't seem to need that or want that.

Profile picture of pathfinder
@pathfinder
20 Years1,000+ Posts

Shaiessence, I agree with CapGirl. If he is under the impression that you both are willing to give yourselves another chance at a relationship, I don't see what harm a greeting kiss could do. I'd almost expect it, if I were you.

Whenever I would run into my cap during our separations, he always gave me a Tight hug and a kiss. It was just his way of greeting me.

Profile picture of MyCap
@MyCap
20 Years

Well shai you had said in a post a while back that when u two were broke up that he was making a big deal about wanting a hug from u or something. These men are just like that. I gave a story about the nite that I went over to my caps house and he was wanting a hug, and then that lead me to staying the nite with him. We were broke up at the time then. They have their ways with getting what they want and they know how to work us, that's what we have to be all too careful with! They know that if they start hugging/kissing us, that it will lead elsewhere, and then they have the satisfaction of knowing they still have us! Tricky men!

Profile picture of pathfinder
@pathfinder
20 Years1,000+ Posts

Have you two agreed to get back together, Shaiessence? I can't go back and read all your posts [at work now], but if what CapGirl said above is what you have told us here: that he is willing to have a serious relationship with you again, and you have decided to give him another chance, I don't understand why his wanting a kiss presents a problem to you? Is it that you don't believe he really wants a reconciliation?

Profile picture of MyCap
@MyCap
20 Years

Shai,

They are always testing us. That's just what they do. If he feels that u r backing off and not as interested anymore (i.e., not wanting to give him a hug) then he might feel as if u r backing off from him and that he has a chance of losing you.

Just as some others on here said, I thought a couple days ago u said u guys were going to try and work things out.

Profile picture of shaiessence
@shaiessence
20 YearsCancer

"So, maybe there's no label or official declaration that you're back together, but these guys don't seem to need that or want that."

What do you mean— I don't understand that.

Profile picture of MyCap
@MyCap
20 Years

She means that they don't need a label or official declaration of the two of you. They pretty much just go with the flow of things and try to pass up the difficult things as labels, and all that. That to them scares them.

Profile picture of MyCap
@MyCap
20 Years

I've heard that also to all too many times! It's like don't bother them with the questions about the relationship, we r supposed to already know. Like I can read his mind or something!

Profile picture of shaiessence
@shaiessence
20 YearsCancer

Lol, yea I understand what you mean LeoWithCap. I can't too much back off either, it's not much in my Cancer Blood. Unless that's what he really really wants, but other than that, I'm not backing off. So you all are saying they don't want to put labels on anything?

Profile picture of MyCap
@MyCap
20 Years

I think they just don't like dealing w/the relationship drama. They seem to be men that don't want drama period in their lives and just don't want to have to deal w/things. They would rather just go w/the flow of things and do it that way. We r supposed to be understanding w/that to them if we want to be w/them I guess.

U ladies might have a hard time backing off from them and leaving them alone, but IMO I think that's what needs to be done. I'm a taurus, and I'm not the most patient person in the world. I had the hardest time w/backing off from him and trying to leave him alone. He like that I persistently wanted contact w/him and he liked it that I kept contact w/him and would get kind of mad when he didn't reply/call back, but then it got to a point (especially while he was working) that it was starting to annoy him. I backed off and he's more different than ever. He contacts me now. It's crazy. All of these guys are different/alike in a lot of ways. So that's why i said u need to figure out what works w/your particular one and go w/it. But don't flip out if they don't contact for a few days. I've learned that!