please help me with this cappie guy

Hi there! I'm new here and English isn't exactly my language so please bare with me here. 🙂 I'm a Libra with what I believe a capricorn moon and virgo venus. He's a capricorn with I believe a gemini moon and aquarius venus.

I've had a major crush on a capricorn before and he was my best friend, we'd been moving around eachother for almost ten years until he finally really broke my heart. I'm not at all experienced with guys, I've only had one date in my life and I've more than once been stood up or used because guys ultimately wanted to date my friends. This kind off puts my guard up more and makes it harder for me to trust if a guy likes me. I'm also VERY shy. Now I've met this cappy and I'm scared to end up badly hurt again, so I turned to you guys for advice.

This is what I've noticed him doing:

Asking me tons of questions including repeatedly asking me what type of guys I fall for, what type of guy my parents would be happy with,if I know how to cook.
He also always asks me along to parties of mutual friends or out to eat after hanging out with friends.
He holds the door for me and defends me. Even when his own friends say something weird towards me or interrupt me in a conversation.
He teases me because I don't drink alcohol. But he did once say (softly speaking) that he believed that it made me unique and showed I had my own personality.
He remembers the smallest details. Like once I told him that on sundays I like to sleep in till 10am and from there on whenever he contacted me on sunday he mad sure it was past 10am.
He also thinks I'm smart I asked him for advice about a research project I was facing, not sure if I should persue it. He encouraged me and weeks later asked me if I had made up my mind about it, he then told me that he believed I could pull it off.

I once asked him out via text I asked him if he wanted to do hang out sometime. He politely declined and later a friend of his told me I should've been more specific and asks him to go have drinks with me or something. But I was too scared and felt stupid to ask him again after being rejected.
One time we went out with a group of friends. on our way home my bus failed me and he offered me to sleep over at his place. He treated me like a princess and made sure I had everything I needed and beyond. He let me sleep in his bed next to him and the next morning he told me he had dreamed about me. And he made me breakfast and when I came downstairs his grandma and brother were

were there. He just made sure I felt comfortable.

In the months that followed we barely had contact. But one of his best friends once put me in a groupchat where the friend asked him if he secretly had a crush on me. The cappie guy immediately left the group and I saw it too late to respond as I was soon after deleted from it. Up untill now I always had this feeling that that was perhaps a cruel joke, I'll come back to why I now think otherwise.

The other day was the first time we hung out together in over six months. He immediately started doing all the things like holding the door, teasing me and the eye contact.On our way home he started walking beside me asking me how I've been doing in school but also wanting to know on private level (I believe he was fishing wheter or not there is a new man in my life). While we were walking his best friend I mentioned earlier asked us when we would end up in bed together again, refurring to that one sleep over.I didn't know what to say because I felt so overwhelmed by this. Cappie guy responded: she's always welcome to stay at my place if she needs a place to sleep. I had such a great time spending time with him again and a few days later I texted him this. He responded (exactly) an hour later saying: It was a great night indeed!

From here on I just don't know how to proceed. I feel that the text I sent him was pretty straightforward and the ball is now in his court. But maybe I'm wrong and I'm not sending a strong enough message for him to make a move yet? If so, what should I do? What would be a clear sign to you (without me making a complete fool of myself)

Thank you!

He said he just saw me as a classmate and that he was sorry. But after that his behaviour towards me changed and all these things started happening, so I'm confused.

what is his mars? what is your mars?

Cap sun is too selfish for a Libra sun which Libra will find out down the road later. Like way later. I've seen this happen too many times.

Gem moon and Cap moon. I have come across a couple of relationship like this that works. Cute couple. Gems usually smarter than Caps in the conversational department. Gems almost always know what to say and when. Fun couple to hang out with.

@champranger I might just do that, no idea how to bring that across as a hint though haha

@VirgoDragirl my mars is libra and his saggitarius

Hmm. How old are the both of you?

I sense cultural differences from mine, so what area are we talking about here. Not asking you to tell me where you live or anything, but at least which continent are we talking about?

Although the answer to above and other questions might make me chage my opinion, I spontaneously think you have been pretty straight forward(in a good way) and him stating that he saw you only as a classmate would make at least me not advance anymore. I would personally think that the ball would be in his court. However, if you would get the perfect opportunity to get another hint through, I wouldn't hesitate.

And also: don't worry about your English - it's fine. If we for some reason or another wouldn't understand, we'll ask.

@HappyCapper I'm 23 and he's 25. We're from Europe, I have to add though that my background is from a different culture which sometimes slightly clashes from my friends here, in the sense that I'm less 'free spirited /spontanous' when it comes to relationships. And I also feel like 'dating' really isn't such a thing here as it by example seems almost a cultural thing in America. So here if you go out just the two of you and not with a group it's already seen as a big deal.

Posted by Strawberry15
@HappyCapper I'm 23 and he's 25. We're from Europe, I have to add though that my background is from a different culture which sometimes slightly clashes from my friends here, in the sense that I'm less 'free spirited /spontanous' when it comes to relationships. And I also feel like 'dating' really isn't such a thing here as it by example seems almost a cultural thing in America. So here if you go out just the two of you and not with a group it's already seen as a big deal.

Interesting. I'm european as well, but the reason why I don't feel comfortable with the american dating system, as I understand it, is because it seems to be such a big deal. Where I live, I could hang out casually with a guy, just getting to know a little bit more about him whithout a huge amount of arrangements, if any, or flowers or tention or what have you - so I'm completely the opposite from your situation.

I'm from the northern part of europe, though, so maybe that's the difference. When it came to the cultural differences, I was actually thinking about his actions and your reactions to his actions. For instance; if I spent a night at a guy's house and went down for breakfast and found his grandmother and brother there, it would NOT make me feel more comfortable - quite the opposite.

This makes me think that our cultural differences may be too great for me to be able to give you any advice that could be useful to you. I'm afraid I'd just lead you astray.

But I wish you the best of luck! 🙂

@happycapper I'm from the nothern part as well, funny how we view it in a different way! oh no I felt totally embaressed as well haha. I was not expecting any of it all just thought I'd be on my way out when I woke up. It's also not usual here that's why I tought perhaps more is going on.

@champranger this year

Posted by Strawberry15
@happycapper I'm from the nothern part as well, funny how we view it in a different way! oh no I felt totally embaressed as well haha. I was not expecting any of it all just thought I'd be on my way out when I woke up. It's also not usual here that's why I tought perhaps more is going on.

Hehehe Well, I thought you thought he had made that happen and that you felt it was a good thing since you thought he did it to make you feel comfortable.

"He just made sure I felt comfortable."

I was also curious about him asking you if you could cook and some other questions. To me it kinda sounded like he was out interviewing for a housewife or something, and that in combination with the grandma and brother thing... Well, let's just say that I was completely out of any possible comfort zone.

Hmm, it seems to me that I will have to stick to my former assessement. But I have got to ask. I'm sure it's nothing, but I just get the feeling that there may be something off with this guy. What does your gut feeling tell you? Again, I'm probably wrong, but I feel I got to at least ask.

@happycapper Oh I meant it that he made sure I felt comfortable because he kept asking if I had everything I wanted, if I needed more water stuff like that. I don't really think anything is really off with him haha just picturing worst case scenario here. But maybe it's because I've known him for a while now that I've gotten used to it? I have noticed that he has really traditional views of how a woman should be and how guys should treat a girl compared to other guys I know. Or he speaks it out way more.

How did he behave towards you and his relatives, respectively, there at breakfast? Was he more attentive than usual? Less attentive? How did he greet them? Did he know they were going to be there? Did they know you were going to be there? Did they know you existed before? Had they heard anything about you? Did you talk? Hoe did they treat you? Like his girlfriend? Like his buddy? Were they embarrassed?

Yes, a load of questions, I know. Just trying to get him and his objectives when it comes to you.

@happycapper, Hmm well that actually interesting I remember something I did not think of before. Before we went sleeping he left a note for hiis grandma that I was there. He introduced me to her something like: 'grandma this is Strawberry15'. He was verry attentive kept asking if I wanted more food, drinks etc. His grandma kind off did the same was very polite. But his brother came downstairs later and I remember cap being surprised when his grandma had mentioned that his brother was home. I can't remember getting introduced to his brother and he didn't really talk to me. Cap also got less attentive before his brother was there we were just talking. With his broter he was just talking sport and I know nothing about that so I was silent. Cap did try to get me involved saying that I had a crush on a sportguy his brother is a fan of (sort of a inside joke I had with cap). When his brother went upstairs again Cap was back being attentive. Even saying that I could stay a little longer after breakfast if I wanted ( I didn't do that though haha). Don't think they knew about me before.

I really hope he is awsome and that you live happily ever after, but I must say that I haven't seen anything to change my first assessement of the situation, namely:

"I spontaneously think you have been pretty straight forward(in a good way) and him stating that he saw you only as a classmate would make at least me not advance anymore. I would personally think that the ball would be in his court. However, if you would get the perfect opportunity to get another hint through, I wouldn't hesitate."

And I still feel that there is something about him that(something I can't really put my finger on) makes me a bit unsure, but this could be my sag venus screaming and running, so idk.

I feel really hesitant to say all this, though, because if I'm wrong and if you are affected by it, this is baaad advice. You know him - I don't.

Posted by FrenchKpricorn
Always thought that HappyCapper was a dude,lol

😆 Not even close.

Thanks for the advice! I will just take it slow, we're both busy with school in the next weeks anyway. If an opportunity comes along I will ask him out for coffee.