tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 10616 · Topics: 40
Really do need advice from Caps! Please! (Page 2)
You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
Posted by HappyCapperIt's also a moral decision for me personallyPosted by truecapThank you. That was exactly what I was after - so you don't have to get married for financial reasons, just write a legal document and you're set. So why do you then need an engagement before living together? Again, no judging, just trying to understand.
The lady did get an attorney and was told "the house was in his name" and "the kids legally inherit the house". There was nothing she could do.
To protect yourselves legally when you shack up, you'd have to have a legal agreement, get your name on the titile of that house and each of you have a will that took care of each other.Might as well have a prenup agreement.
That story really pissed me off - I would like to have a serious talk with those kids. Sure, she should have protected herself with a legal document, but what they did is just not okay. Imo.click to expand
Posted by tiki33I agree. That was me being unclear. I meant that if you do have legal papers that gives you financial rights, a break-up would be worse if you were engaged or married as well - emotionally - which would be a reason not to rush into marriage. Just a self evident little side point. Sorry.
+1 True....I agree with you 100% on the issue of the house and how important it is to be protected.
""it doesn't work out, no engagement, no marriage and you have to start all over again."
Wouldn't it be even worse to start all over if you had also been engaged or married? A failed marriage isn't exactly what most people dream about. And finding a new place to live in you would pretty much have to do with or without the marriage license.
Just out of interest - I have already made clear(I hope) that I think this is up to each and every person."
No, not financially it would not be worse. At least if it doesn't work out you will have some financial relief through the interest of the home if it's sold, that's if the home is in both of your names.
If this is someone you're going to share your life with, get engaged and eventually get married then this is a life long lifetime kind of deal, failure is not an option and if it so happens it doesn't work out at least you will have some property rights etc etc.
"Also, until my name is on a mortgage for a home, I am not paying any of those bills!!" " I also won't be doing all the "wifely" duties, until I am a wife. Something he is also, very well aware of. I don't tend to change my mind, once I have it set on something, especially as serious as that."
Good!! Now get it in writing LOL!
...
Posted by truecapMoral in what way, if you don't mind my asking?Posted by HappyCapperIt's also a moral decision for me personallyPosted by truecapThank you. That was exactly what I was after - so you don't have to get married for financial reasons, just write a legal document and you're set. So why do you then need an engagement before living together? Again, no judging, just trying to understand.
The lady did get an attorney and was told "the house was in his name" and "the kids legally inherit the house". There was nothing she could do.
To protect yourselves legally when you shack up, you'd have to have a legal agreement, get your name on the titile of that house and each of you have a will that took care of each other.Might as well have a prenup agreement.
That story really pissed me off - I would like to have a serious talk with those kids. Sure, she should have protected herself with a legal document, but what they did is just not okay. Imo.click to expand
Posted by HappyCapperBlame my southern roots, , but I was raised that when you lived with someone you weren't engaged to or married to, then it is a blatant representation of yourself to the world that you're openly living in sin. I was also raised with the teaching that a woman who allows a man to take all the advantages of marriage without the commitment of marriage, is weak and doesn't respect herself or think too much of herself or believe that she is worthy of marriage.Posted by truecapMoral in what way, if you don't mind my asking?Posted by HappyCapperIt's also a moral decision for me personallyPosted by truecapThank you. That was exactly what I was after - so you don't have to get married for financial reasons, just write a legal document and you're set. So why do you then need an engagement before living together? Again, no judging, just trying to understand.
The lady did get an attorney and was told "the house was in his name" and "the kids legally inherit the house". There was nothing she could do.
To protect yourselves legally when you shack up, you'd have to have a legal agreement, get your name on the titile of that house and each of you have a will that took care of each other.Might as well have a prenup agreement.
That story really pissed me off - I would like to have a serious talk with those kids. Sure, she should have protected herself with a legal document, but what they did is just not okay. Imo.click to expand
And what happens when she gets pregnant? That affects children, but that is a whole other subject.
At this stage in life, I do rebuff some of those teachings. Such as staying the night with each other is okay - as long as you still have your own place. Aqua and I have been together 3 years and we've only ever stayed the night together about six times.
Oh, I know the world has changed and your generation has different attitudes and beliefs. I'll probably get reamed on this site for my preferences, but I don't care. I'm true to me and my personal beliefs. I don't really care what other people do, thoug
+1 True, wise woman
Actually I've done the live together thing and I was even engaged as well and it did not work out well for me. Twice in my life I did the live in thing and engaged while living together and it did not work for me.
It was only when I set some firm boundaries as in getting married before living together etc etc that it worked out for me. I can't speak for everyone but for me I've been there done that and it only worked out when I stopped doing it the way I wanted to and did it the old fashioned way, it works.
The old fashioned way is not bad, it's a blueprint that we can either reject or accept. I rejected the old fashion way initially but I am a true believer that the old ways work, they can be modified to fit todays ideas and beliefs to keep it current. Nevertheless There are exceptions to the rule but most people are the rule and not the exception.
To each his/her own. People do what they believe in and they do what they want to do, no judgement from me, we all grown.
Actually I've done the live together thing and I was even engaged as well and it did not work out well for me. Twice in my life I did the live in thing and engaged while living together and it did not work for me.
It was only when I set some firm boundaries as in getting married before living together etc etc that it worked out for me. I can't speak for everyone but for me I've been there done that and it only worked out when I stopped doing it the way I wanted to and did it the old fashioned way, it works.
The old fashioned way is not bad, it's a blueprint that we can either reject or accept. I rejected the old fashion way initially but I am a true believer that the old ways work, they can be modified to fit todays ideas and beliefs to keep it current. Nevertheless There are exceptions to the rule but most people are the rule and not the exception.
To each his/her own. People do what they believe in and they do what they want to do, no judgement from me, we all grown.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
I was wondering why I don't cry. No matter how much people hurt me.. Friends says I am heartless. Society says Crying
i watch these two cappie youtube gurus all the time, and it's funny, but within the past few days both have posted video
Where Art THou? If Anything at All - this placement keeps my Pisces Ass (and emotions) in check. Whoop Whoop. An
I listened to this and realised that I had never heard of this theory before. Am I the only one? I have a capricorn sun
There is a difference between being confident and arrogant. I hear so many people say caps are conceited, arrogant, stu
I have a friend that seems to have the worst luck with guys, and it seems like she wants a relationship more than anythi
I'm very unclear about this because I've seen people saying to do it and people saying not to. He pops into my life just
Dear caps I have a cap stellium in my 5th house and I easily obsess about the romantic future. I have a hard time enj
As a lunar Capricorn I find myself constantly thinking and planning about the future specially the relationships. I plan
In whatever field(s) you pay attention to, acting, music, military, academia, cooking, etc... Do you have list? If no
Ok....so my best two friends, guy and gal, are Caps. My gal friend 24yrs and counting, and my guy best friend is my ex
Why do you suppose it is difficult for Saturian-types (Caps and Aquas) to accept human weakness from themselves and othe
My 3 year old is very sensitive, she cries for everything and lovessssssssss attention she's a really good drama queen l
This is my first time having a cap boss. He's starting to bug me, always looking me up and down. I do my work, I tried b
I will settle for your emotionless love. THIS Scorp is tired of water,water,and did I mention, water? Too many emotions.
Why is it that in any random situation we as Caps are not afraid to speak our minds regardless what may happen.But when
Please share your definition of an ideal partner that you could be with for a life-time! :) How do you know when he/
I'm curious to see what you all think the best match up is. Is it different for Males and Females? Amazingly, starti
Why so aloof?
Either way, good luck, you are very intelligent and I'm sure you will not drink the air love sandwhiches and act like booboo the fool and not look out for yourself. You're educated and intelligent, you got this!