A CHEATED GEMINI

ok here's the deal -guna try to summarize this but it's still guna be long - cus i wanna give u all the info:

i'm in toronto canada, went bk home in august to the bahamas to visit my friends n met a guy there (one of my old school mate's bro) and we clicked - didn't kno he had a girl at first (she lives in florida) but when he told me i told him that it wud be wrong for me to disrespect his girl like that - but we hung out a few times n then he told me he had these feelings for me -he pursued me- after he told me how he felt then i told him that if he wanted us to give this a chance, i wudn't be wit him if he had a girl - he said he wud break up with her -he said it was unusual for him to fall for a girl so quickly - he'd been wit his girl for 3 yrs --anyway turns out he know's my dad too

anyway he told me he was afraid to break up wit his girl cus apparently she has anxiety probs - from wut he's told me it seems like she has panic attacks too - he said he was afraid of her reaction - anyway we made plans for me to fly bk home this december to visit him and i told him dat i'm not coming if he has a girl - i made it clear by sayin that if he cares bout his girl that he shudn't hurt her like that unless he's sure he wants to be wit me - he said that he jus wants to find a way to let her down easy

so she visited him this sept and found my pics of his computer, found the receipt to the hotel we stayed at, and found my pic on his cell phone - when she questioned him he told her i was jus a friend and i was helpin him wit his travel documents
i'm on this social network that his girl is also part of called www.hi5.com and i get a msg from her a few wkks ago - sayin that she's not tryin to be rude - but he told her we're jus friends but she's jus curious y she never heard bout me b4 and y he has pics of me on his comp - she said she beleived him - my reply was kinda rude - i told her that i wasn't tryin 2 be rude but y was she askin me this stuff if she said she believed him - i asked her if she thought he wud cheat on her - (i gues i said that stuff cus i wanted the truth out and i was tired of waitin on him to tell her) anyway that night i talked to him he said she told him she msged me on hi5 but she left out the details - any he and i argued and again i told him that he shudn't break up wit her unless he was sure he wanted to risk losin her (i told him that i definitely wanted to be wit him- but it was his call - i didn't want to pressure him

he told me not to worry bout him and her that he was dealin with it - finally last week he told her he cudn't be with her - then yesterday i'm checkin my regualr email and there is her name in my inbox - wow i was surprised!

her email was hate mail - how i was a slut becus i knew he had a girl and she said guys don't respect girls like me (this is her opinion of me- of course cus she's upset) i got upset cus i can't stand ignorance - to me she's behavin like a high school kid - i expect and accept her anger but there r different ways to go bout it) - anyway i was angry and i still am -

here's my dilemma : its not like out of spite i decided to be wit this guy -i didn't do this cus i'm the devil and i wanna fk up her relationship- i don even kno her- it's jus that he and i clicked right off the bat - we're not opposites and we're not alike it's like we complement each other or soemthing- dunno how to explain it -it's not even physical - there is no way i'd be wit him if we didn't have this strong connection - but i feel that the least i cud do is tell her that initially i didn't wanna be wit him becus of her out of respect for her relationship but things changed when he told me how he felt and when he said he wud break up wit her that made me realised that he really wanted to be wit me, to take a risk like that. i dunno if i shud tell her or not or jus leave her alone? wut do u guys think————

oh and another thing i told him bout her nasty email she sent yesterday and i told him how upset i was so he called her up and told her it was over and mentioned to her that i was upset bout the email and she told him she didn't care and i deserved it - (i don't deserve ignorant insults - but i kno i deserve her anger)
see wut she's doin is forgettin that i didn't hurt her and and i didn't deceive her - it was him so y is she upset wit me(this is wwut i wanna remind her of) - he told me that he'll still talk to her but it's over (i don't like that idea but then again my ex and i are still friends)
so please gemini wut do i do?

oh i forgot something i think i shud mention - concerning the hate mail she sent to my email, she actaully somehow hacked into his email address and and that's how she got my email address - she even tried addin me to msn msger but i blocked her - he told me when they were chattin online she typed things from the emails he and i sent to each other - word for word - so dis girl actually hacked into his email account

OH geeze!!! You were wrong the moment he told you he had a girlfriend-- and though you made a weak attempt at telling him you didn't want to disrespet the girl that way- you did anyway- regardless of her "anxiety" problems- please- he's being a dick and wants to have two girls fight over him. And I'm so glad for you that you felt this great connection- but please be true to yourself girl and think about this--- if he is doing this to her with you, what keeps him from doing it to you? Something to think about.....

thanx kavindra that's exactly wut keeps poppin up in my head - i keep wonderin if he did this to her n she trusted him den he cud do it to me- thanks

to answer what seems to be your question, C12...no, you shouldn't contact this girl. like you said, you dont/didn't know her, so why should what she thinks matter to you now? to point out that it wasn't you who ultimately hurt her is only going to hurt her more. i'm sure that she's aware of it on some level, though she's most likely choosing not to see/deal with that at this point in her greiving process. so my advice would be - have some compassion and leave it alone. if she continues to send you messages that are hurtful, just block her address.

thanx alot RainbowChaser! -

yep i blocked her om msger- here's the weird thing i was online and apparently one day she signed into his msn msg and was pretending to be him - i thought i was talkin to him but it's kind of a good thing i guess - cus i was jus telling him (which was really her) that he shudn't have hurt her like that and that he shud have been honest with her and how mad i was bout how he dealt wit it -that's all i said - when i actually spoke to him he said he hadn't even signed in that day- anyway i'll leave it like that where's she's concerned.