AYO READ THIS

Gems do you sometimes feel like you look out for friends (emotionally, etc) and it seems like it is sometimes taken for granted?

that what is taken for granted?

people always leave ... and that's ok .. it's nothing personal..it's just the way things are

I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to say here .. let me see if I have it right ...

You want to look out for your friends (emotionally speaking), and do this because? What?

There's an expectation?

To give of yourself because this is what you want to do, then it is like a gift.

If you give of yourself because you expect something back .. then it is in essence .. using them, for you are only giving to them for a reward.

If you feel like you are being taken advantage of in some way .. then stop giving of yourself to that person and go look for a person who will appreciate you enough to give back to you.

Personally (though, not a Gem) .. I never feel taken advantage of, for if I give something to somebody, beit material or emotional, I do so because that's what I want to do for them, and don't look for a pat on the back.

who said i was expecting something in return?

when I say taken for granted i mean that what you do for your friends sometimes goes unrecognized...

Just say for instance you are doing good at your workplace, EVENTUALLY you do want to get recognized SOMEHOW either if its a pat on the back or a promotion from your boss.

All i'm saying is sometimes it just seems like i put my friends first and it seems like sometimes i always get put on the backburner when i need someone there for me... so i guess you can say i expect something, just like i hold my friends dear to me, i would EXPECT the same thing from them, thats all i'm saying...

You feel the same as I do.

Treat people the way you want to be treated.

Yes I also feel like my friends take it for granted. I'm always there for them weather they need someone to talk to, money, a drive somewhere, anything. But when I need them they are no where to be found and when you fill them in on how you are feeling they get mad cause you didn't call them this time.

If your not there last time or the time before that what makes me think your going to be there now. So F#&* it. Why bother wasting my time if I already know your going to be busy.

"Why bother wasting my time if I already know your going to be busy."


Good question .. however, is it seriously asked of the self, or is it just used for means to be justified with the irritation, so you can continue doing it?

I'm really not getting the point of this thread, nor of the mind-set .. if a person "feels" this way and it's a thorn in the side to which causes feelings of abuse/neglect .. is it not within our own power to CHOOSE for ourselves how and what we are going to feel? The impression I'm left with the point of this thread (as I interpret it) .. is to bitch about something, without having a desire to actually fix it, for the self's own sense of self-worth.

In other words .. if a person looks to another to fulfill your own sense of self-worth, then you will be left with this feeling of being taken for granted because they can't fulfill you .. you can only fulfill yourself. So, if a person isn't appreciating you, for whatever reason, then to continue giving of yourself to that person reflects back to you that you don't have integrity/dignity .. hence: you will not get respect back.

I maybe bitching about it, but I'm venting so thats expected...

But who are you to assume that I don't want to fix it? You shouldn't be so quick to judge before stating ur opinion, which by the way, i appreciate

As far as self-worth, thats not even a question for me, lol, you need stay off the deep end of the pool honey, i mean come on...its never that serious

The POINT of this thread was to see if any one who reads this has ever felt the same, and how they handled or fixed the situation for the better.

plain and simple

You can't tell the difference between a question asked in general terms of human behaviours and one that pertains to a specific person, can you?

And then when I say the point of the thread is to bitch, you defend it by saying it is a bitch (vent), and then say I'm being judegemental and assuming. Yet, the assumption was correct because you said it was a bitch.

You know .. you take things way too personal, which is the reason WHY you feel so abused. I talk in general terms of the whole, responding about human behaviours based off of each incident that people post.

Most people get that about me, OSG .. except a few, who take everything to heart. I get "it" that it was a vent .. that's why I said "bitch".

People, such as yourself, are more than welcome to say such things as, "you need stay off the deep end of the pool honey", right after they've expressed that I'm the one too judegemental, in retaliation .. it has no emotional effect on me. I'm the only person who can have an emotional effect on me because I'm the only one I'll allow to control my feelings. However, I do find it interesting that people "react" subconsciously with the very attitude in which they believe is a personal assault.

Humans aren't anywhere near as controlled as they think they are .. for most are completely ignorant to themselves within an emotional spike, and will actually commit the same act in which they defy against.

Interesting ...

"i mean come on...its never that serious"


Why isn't it that serious?

If an emotion takes place within a person to which they "feel" abused, or neglected, or whatever "bad" emotion is taking place, to the point of which causes them to bitch about it .. then why isn't it serious?

People (most) don't really want to fix or heal .. maybe it's too frightening to look at ourselves, for we won't like what we see because the mirror doesn't lie.

Not only are we our own problems .. we are also our own solution.

Question (and this one is directed right towards OSG): If it's not that serious, then why feel frustrated enough to even start a thread asking if anyone else feels this way?

Question (and this one is directed right towards OSG): If it's not that serious, then why feel frustrated enough to even start a thread asking if anyone else feels this way?


Its never that serious P-Angel to the point that i have to think twice about my self worth...

I mean I love my friends and I'm loyal to a fault which is probably my problem, but I always love and take care of me first, because if you don't, how can you care for someone else?

Maybe I do take things way too personal, but if i feel it is being directed to me in an indirect way, I'm going to address

"And then when I say the point of the thread is to bitch, you defend it by saying it is a bitch (vent), and then say I'm being judegemental and assuming. Yet, the assumption was correct because you said it was a bitch."

Incorrect...you were being judgmental when you said:

"The impression I'm left with the point of this thread (as I interpret it) .. is to bitch about something, without having a desire to actually fix it, for the self's own sense of self-worth."

Thats why I said WHO ARE YOU to tell someone that they don't want to fix the situation?

People, such as yourself, are more than welcome to say such things as, "you need stay off the deep end of the pool honey", right after they've expressed that I'm the one too judegemental, in retaliation .. it has no emotional effect on me"

If you say so but apparently it has some effect on you for you to keep posting and posting...





"You can't tell the difference between a question asked in general terms of human behaviours and one that pertains to a specific person, can you?"

P-Angel, I am the one who started this thread in the first place, so its not so hard to see that it was directed to Me, and maybe others, but to me too

"Humans aren't anywhere near as controlled as they think they are .. for most are completely ignorant to themselves within an emotional spike, and will actually commit the same act in which they defy against."

Another judgmental view...

"I'm the only person who can have an emotional effect on me because I'm the only one I'll allow to control my feelings."

Thats a load of bullshit, because if you are a human being (which I'm starting to think twice about), yeah you can control your feelings but to say that you are the only person who can have an emotional effect on yourself, is unrealistic...

lol yeah you pulled that on right out of your ass...

YYYYYYEEESSSSS i feel this way a lot.

i'm not a gem though, but i just wanna put in my two cents about that. i have a really close gem friend (well, as close as i can get to really knowing a gem!) and it is so hard to know how she is feeling and what she's thinking, even after years of knowing her. most of the time she doesn't like to express her emotions. she has definitely been there for me, but she seems to have trouble extending herself when it comes to serious stuff. i have no doubt that she has depth, but she doesn't like to talk about those things, which i think is because it makes her feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. i've told her many times i'm there if she needs me and it's true, and there have been a lot of times where she's vented to me, but she's never asked me for much.

"when I say taken for granted i mean that what you do for your friends sometimes goes unrecognized..."

OSG....at some time in our lives we all do feel this way. During our childhood, we wanted to please our parents, we wanted to know that we did something good and to receive the praise - this was our way of "feeling loved" by those that we loved/cared for.

As we grow, we learn that this no longer applies because others may care/love for us in other ways. If we continue with our previous way of thinking - our actions will become an "expectation" which will set us up for disappointment in relationships.

To keep us in a happy and emotionally healthy place - the best thing to do is - do for others what makes YOU feel good and have this be your "reward" "pat on the back" rather than expecting on receiving it from others. Then, let it go. What you will soon see in your life by you doing things because you choose do for your happiness is that others will be happy to....and, the cycle continues.

Freebird and MyGeminiSister, thanx for the advice, I understand what you all are saying, and I APPRECIATE how you put that...thanx for not being a bytch about it lol

"I APPRECIATE how you put that...thanx for not being a bytch about it lol"


So, in reality, because there was a mention of thanks in the aspect of tone, mannerism .. then it indicates that the context of the words didn't vary according to comprehended interpretation.

In which case .. this is indicative of just wanting support to continue carrying on, rather than any actual insight in providing a solution.

It all comes full circle to my original assessment .. feelings stroked for being a victim, without any desire to repair self-inflicting damages.

Interesting ....

If you say so P-Angel...

Cuz you know it all, right? Please...

I just call it how I see it,

In my earlier post I recall saying that your posts are appreciated, but not if your going to be an a $ $ about it

But it seems like you just like to pick apart others posts for your own entertainment, and its not occasionally, its all the time...

rather pathetic in my opinion...

*rolls eyes*

lol @ m&m