Gem men... Argh

Hello...

So we've been together for 4 years.. My gem man and I. Me? A cap.
How did we manage to last this long—? A lot of understanding, compromise.. And great... Amazing... S3x.

I don't know what it is.. But he goes through the phases of really loving me and then really needing space. Drives me nuts.. But makes me want to stay even more!!! Lol
Tonight.. He's in his bubble. He needs time and space to chill. Don't answer my calls.. But texts me instead. And usually, I understand and I'm ok... But i'm also sick and want attention! Lol

Ok.. Tomorrow.. I know this will all blow over. .. Maybe. I'll never know.

Gems... Why do you do this to us— Sigh..it drives me nuts.. 🙂

Every male sign does that. Men need space to recharge, deal with work issues etc., and analyze their emotions. Haven't you ever heard of the "Man Cave?" Men can only deal with emotional stuff for so long before they get the urge to escape. It's how they are wired.

Women have a larger corpus collusum (the portion of brain in the center that divides the two halves). This is why we women can go back and forth between logic and emotion. It's why we usually attach some form of emotion to most of our decisions. Men OTOH have a smaller corpus collusum. This reduces their ability to utilize both sides of the brain simultaneously. This is why men are good at doing one thing and doing it well. This explains why we women can multitask and men freak out when you give them more than one thing to do in under 5 minutes.

Honestly, it sounds as if you have a great relationship. Be happy. And give him "his" time to recharge. I've been married over 14 years. My husband does the same thing. All men do. I have found if you give them their space they will come back all that much stronger and wanting you even more. It's just part of the game. Even we women need our space. As long as he's coming back to YOU and YOU only, space and distance is a good thing. Just as with nature, relationships are about ebb and flow.

Posted by savagetai
Hello...

So we've been together for 4 years.. My gem man and I. Me? A cap.
How did we manage to last this long—? A lot of understanding, compromise.. And great... Amazing... S3x.

I don't know what it is.. But he goes through the phases of really loving me and then really needing space. Drives me nuts.. But makes me want to stay even more!!! Lol
Tonight.. He's in his bubble. He needs time and space to chill. Don't answer my calls.. But texts me instead. And usually, I understand and I'm ok... But i'm also sick and want attention! Lol

Ok.. Tomorrow.. I know this will all blow over. .. Maybe. I'll never know.

Gems... Why do you do this to us— Sigh..it drives me nuts.. 🙂

As a Capricorn who's been close with a Gem for 8 years, I know EXACTLY what you mean, what you're going through, what you feel. EVERYTHING!
Mine is in a "phase" too right now.
We just gotta be patient, because it will pass.

You have to learn to be independent, let him know you're there and that when he's in the mood to talk again, you'll be there for him.

(We need a support group called "Cap and Gems" to vent haha)

Thanks everyone for your support. 🙂

I'm glad to know that I'm not alone on this . We totally need a gem and cap venting site.
I take it personally when I don't get communicated with sometimes and I know I shouldn't. But I just never which twin I'll encounter.

How do u get a rise out of a gem? Through experimentation, I find that when I do what he does ( not answer calls and texts) for a day or two.. He gets all antsy and concerned because we haven't talked. Lol...

Posted by savagetai
Thanks everyone for your support. 🙂

I'm glad to know that I'm not alone on this . We totally need a gem and cap venting site.
I take it personally when I don't get communicated with sometimes and I know I shouldn't. But I just never which twin I'll encounter.

How do u get a rise out of a gem? Through experimentation, I find that when I do what he does ( not answer calls and texts) for a day or two.. He gets all antsy and concerned because we haven't talked. Lol...

Have you tried telling him, when he's out of his "phase" that you don't like it? If yes, what did he say?

My Gem ex husband and I were quite opposites. I was the one who became more elusive, nonchalant, and not the great communicator. He would get irritated because he thought I didn't care. If I called, it was okay for him not to answer and call back later. If he called, by golly, I better answer right then. Then I would get irritated at the double standard of it and make a point not to answer right then after that (stubborn cap, prove a point). That's one example. I think after the years rolled by his behavior made me care less and less and then as my behavior made him more irritated with me, the less he cared. Chain reaction. Both stubborn to our own detriment.

I believe if we had communicated more honestly and openly, we would have gotten along a lot better. I suppose what I'm saying is talk to him rationally, explain how it makes you feel. Don't accuse him, just talk about your reaction/feelings.

He doesn't even notice he's doing it sometimes... I've told him before and he gets it,, but at the same time, he has been like that for 37 years.
A the end of the day, I ask myself why I feel that way because I like my space too.. And I recognize that I have my insecurities and I am afraid that its because he stops wanting to be with me or.. He's met someone better. We don't have trust issues because he's the one I've trusted the most in a while,, I used to be cheated on so it's always a bit of a scare..

I know.. Don't project my insecurities on a gemini man right? Trying not to... I guess I don't want to lose him. 😢

Posted by savagetai
He doesn't even notice he's doing it sometimes... I've told him before and he gets it,, but at the same time, he has been like that for 37 years.
A the end of the day, I ask myself why I feel that way because I like my space too.. And I recognize that I have my insecurities and I am afraid that its because he stops wanting to be with me or.. He's met someone better. We don't have trust issues because he's the one I've trusted the most in a while,, I used to be cheated on so it's always a bit of a scare..

I know.. Don't project my insecurities on a gemini man right? Trying not to... I guess I don't want to lose him. 😢

That right there, is just like me.
I need my space too, and I hate when people come into my bubble.
I think it's because we care so much as Caps that we want to make sure our Gems are fine. But thing is, it doesn't work with them. Having someone entering their bubbles to make sure they're ok. So what I do with mine is tell him once that if he needs, I'm here.
Then, give him his space and the next day, he talks to me and it's fine like nothing happened.
As long as he knows you're there, you two are good.

And insecurities, I have them sometimes too.
Like, let's say he's in a bubble and don't feel like talking to me, but I see that he's online on FB..
I just let him do his thing..
What else can we do 🙂

Unless you have solid proofs that he's cheating, you have nothing to worry about. Breath, do you thing and it'll pass 🙂