aj123
@aj123
11 Years
Comments: 1 · Posts: 241 · Topics: 66
Gemini males! What does it mean when YOU go hot and cold?
Posted by aj123Yes, I would like to know as well please 😄
Hi,
Would be great if a gemini male could answer this (or someone with a gemini moon or gemini venus)
If you behave incredibly clingy, discuss marriage etc. and always want to see the person, claim not to be a commitment-phobe etc. both via texting and in person and say the relationship is great etc. but then when you have to go days without being able to meet up (e.g. due to working in another city), you act all distant, aloof and seem to just be responding to be polite, no passion and no initiating the convo anymore.. and then the same game all over again the next week?!
What does this mean, gemini males? You're 50/50 "on the fence" about whether you really like the person OR are you just using them OR is that your general nature regardless of whether you really like someone or not (i.e. to take space, go days without contact etc.)?
Thanks!
This is what I'm struggling with right now... I've been dating a very earthy Gem for about a year now, lots of the time she's totally into me and wanting to hang out, smothering me with kisses, saying she feels intense emotions for me (which I had no idea because she rarely communicates things like that). But then it's literally like a switch flips, with no warning or anything, and like OP says, she's distant, aloof, and responding out of obligation instead of with passion. I reach out and her responses are so cold and indifferent it hurts. I'm totally fine with giving her space, but the way she just suddenly and randomly shuts off is so hard for me to understand. I don't know what to do.
Do nothing and don't take things personally. Nobody is all time on a high.
Do you meet regularly? Do you get on well? Has your relationship progressed since you started dating many months ago (e.g. visits to the parents, Christmas plans, holiday plans, plans to live together)? These are the things that should matter, not moods.
If you need someone who is all about drama, date a fire sign or a drug addict.
If you want entertainment.......become yourself entertaining!
Do you meet regularly? Do you get on well? Has your relationship progressed since you started dating many months ago (e.g. visits to the parents, Christmas plans, holiday plans, plans to live together)? These are the things that should matter, not moods.
If you need someone who is all about drama, date a fire sign or a drug addict.
If you want entertainment.......become yourself entertaining!
Posted by littlemegabyteThank you for your helpful reply - I wasn't referring to 1 specific person in particular but more about many gemini people I've met - all have had this hot-cold trait.. literally go from fire-hot to ice cold, without any apparent reason - no arguments, no problems, nothing... so feel like their words can never be trusted as even if you behave as "perfectly" as possible e.g. listen to what they have to say, ask thought provoking questions, contribute discussion, etc. they can still switch.
I'm not a gem male, but I am a gem female with sun, mercury, venus and jupiter gem 🙂 also dating a gem man as well! What are his other placements? Because mine has moon scorpio and cancer venus, so he is clingy and emotional (even though he denies it lol, so cute). We haven't gone a single day without talking... ever. I really and truly believe that if a gem guy genuinely likes you, it would be totally clear and you wouldn't have to ask or wonder. Gems play games but not with the ones they really like/love. These guys like to impress, there will be gifts AND ACTION behind their words. Not just empty words. Empty words are for gems who are playing games.
I was also in a serious relationship (5 years) with a gem sun/cancer moon and he was loving too.
This is just my own experience with my 2 gems, but neither have needed or wanted space from me. Maybe this was because of their heavy water placements.
I am an earthy gem, so I VERY MUCH need space a lot. This doesn't bode well with my water gems. Well... the cancer moon understood, but don't even try to get space with this scorp moon ©©©
Let us know his other placements!
Thanks also to everyone else's useful answers - I look forward to more contributions from others too 🙂
Posted by aj123I'm not like this. And like I told you in the PM I responded to, if I do end up acting this way, it's usually because you did something to really fuck me over or hurt me in some way. But my moon is in Leo. I'm not 50/50 on a fence. If I like you, I have no problem being open about it and I don't run away once I commit to you, especially if I actually say that I love you. In my case, it has always been the other person who can't be open about themselves and be realistic about their feelings and they run away for the smallest of things or will use any excuse like a disagreement or fight to break up. Immature crap. I give them time to come back, but the more time that passes, I feel myself letting go. if they return after so much time has passed it will likely never be the same, and let's just say they would need to work overtime in getting me to feel the same again because by then I can't be sure if they would break the trust I initially had and end up doing it over and hurting me all over. I take more time to recover from shit like that and I certainly do not feel there is any excuse for that or silent games, etc. In other words, I do not believe in leading someone on.
Hi,
Would be great if a gemini male could answer this (or someone with a gemini moon or gemini venus)
If you behave incredibly clingy, discuss marriage etc. and always want to see the person, claim not to be a commitment-phobe etc. both via texting and in person and say the relationship is great etc. but then when you have to go days without being able to meet up (e.g. due to working in another city), you act all distant, aloof and seem to just be responding to be polite, no passion and no initiating the convo anymore.. and then the same game all over again the next week?!
What does this mean, gemini males? You're 50/50 "on the fence" about whether you really like the person OR are you just using them OR is that your general nature regardless of whether you really like someone or not (i.e. to take space, go days without contact etc.)?
Thanks!
Posted by gemguyaz34I might also add -my mercury and venus are in cancer. So I think that with the Leo moon combo makes me pretty comfortable in being who I am.Posted by aj123I'm not like this. And like I told you in the PM I responded to, if I do end up acting this way, it's usually because you did something to really fuck me over or hurt me in some way. But my moon is in Leo. I'm not 50/50 on a fence. If I like you, I have no problem being open about it and I don't run away once I commit to you, especially if I actually say that I love you. In my case, it has always been the other person who can't be open about themselves and be realistic about their feelings and they run away for the smallest of things or will use any excuse like a disagreement or fight to break up. Immature crap. I give them time to come back, but the more time that passes, I feel myself letting go. if they return after so much time has passed it will likely never be the same, and let's just say they would need to work overtime in getting me to feel the same again because by then I can't be sure if they would break the trust I initially had and end up doing it over and hurting me all over. I take more time to recover from shit like that and I certainly do not feel there is any excuse for that or silent games, etc. In other words, I do not believe in leading someone on.
Hi,
Would be great if a gemini male could answer this (or someone with a gemini moon or gemini venus)
If you behave incredibly clingy, discuss marriage etc. and always want to see the person, claim not to be a commitment-phobe etc. both via texting and in person and say the relationship is great etc. but then when you have to go days without being able to meet up (e.g. due to working in another city), you act all distant, aloof and seem to just be responding to be polite, no passion and no initiating the convo anymore.. and then the same game all over again the next week?!
What does this mean, gemini males? You're 50/50 "on the fence" about whether you really like the person OR are you just using them OR is that your general nature regardless of whether you really like someone or not (i.e. to take space, go days without contact etc.)?
Thanks!
click to expand
Posted by aj123This happened to me with a Libra I was with. The hot and then the cold. Not being able to express feelings openly. They didn't like confrontation. Coincidentally, they had a Scorpio moon. It's like no matter how much I told them I loved them and was there for them, in the end it was never good enough. People who play these games, regardless of placements, tend to have a hard time in being honest with themselves about what they really want or they make it impossible for you to be "THAT" person.Posted by littlemegabyteThank you for your helpful reply - I wasn't referring to 1 specific person in particular but more about many gemini people I've met - all have had this hot-cold trait.. literally go from fire-hot to ice cold, without any apparent reason - no arguments, no problems, nothing... so feel like their words can never be trusted as even if you behave as "perfectly" as possible e.g. listen to what they have to say, ask thought provoking questions, contribute discussion, etc. they can still switch.
I'm not a gem male, but I am a gem female with sun, mercury, venus and jupiter gem 🙂 also dating a gem man as well! What are his other placements? Because mine has moon scorpio and cancer venus, so he is clingy and emotional (even though he denies it lol, so cute). We haven't gone a single day without talking... ever. I really and truly believe that if a gem guy genuinely likes you, it would be totally clear and you wouldn't have to ask or wonder. Gems play games but not with the ones they really like/love. These guys like to impress, there will be gifts AND ACTION behind their words. Not just empty words. Empty words are for gems who are playing games.
I was also in a serious relationship (5 years) with a gem sun/cancer moon and he was loving too.
This is just my own experience with my 2 gems, but neither have needed or wanted space from me. Maybe this was because of their heavy water placements.
I am an earthy gem, so I VERY MUCH need space a lot. This doesn't bode well with my water gems. Well... the cancer moon understood, but don't even try to get space with this scorp moon ©©©
Let us know his other placements!
Thanks also to everyone else's useful answers - I look forward to more contributions from others too 🙂click to expand
We are distancing ourself to get even more closer, I bet you don't know what I meant but yes that's exactly it is.
Posted by geminidudeLol is that a credible explanation? Aqua here, greeting to fellow air sign.
We are distancing ourself to get even more closer, I bet you don't know what I meant but yes that's exactly it is.
Posted by AngmodurianBet you know exactly what I meant, I just made it very short and simple thats all. By the way hello aqua your moon is a Gemini? and mine is Aquarius how weird is that hehe.Posted by geminidudeLol is that a credible explanation? Aqua here, greeting to fellow air sign.
We are distancing ourself to get even more closer, I bet you don't know what I meant but yes that's exactly it is.click to expand
Thanks everyone for your helpful posts - all really useful.
🙂
Posted by geminidudePlease do explain in more detail? I am an aqua moon so I can relate somewhat but a clearer explanation would be useful.
We are distancing ourself to get even more closer, I bet you don't know what I meant but yes that's exactly it is.
🙂
Posted by TaureanGoddessWhat are her placements? I am a Gem with some Earth placements and I am very affectionate/loving/expressive until I start to feel like I'm being too vulnerable and it isn't reciprocated...normally I will vocalize this, and if nothing is done to calm my spirit, I will usually pull back, become aloof/cold/unresponsive. At this point, ideally my partner would be giving me lots of reassurance, even if they aren't getting much softness out of me in return, just persevere and I will be back in your arms in no time with a more profound sense of purpose in the relationship.
This is what I'm struggling with right now... I've been dating a very earthy Gem for about a year now, lots of the time she's totally into me and wanting to hang out, smothering me with kisses, saying she feels intense emotions for me (which I had no idea because she rarely communicates things like that). But then it's literally like a switch flips, with no warning or anything, and like OP says, she's distant, aloof, and responding out of obligation instead of with passion. I reach out and her responses are so cold and indifferent it hurts. I'm totally fine with giving her space, but the way she just suddenly and randomly shuts off is so hard for me to understand. I don't know what to do.
Posted by gemguyaz34WOAHHHH what you said is so true, you just described me to a T.Posted by aj123This happened to me with a Libra I was with. The hot and then the cold. Not being able to express feelings openly. They didn't like confrontation. Coincidentally, they had a Scorpio moon. It's like no matter how much I told them I loved them and was there for them, in the end it was never good enough. People who play these games, regardless of placements, tend to have a hard time in being honest with themselves about what they really want or they make it impossible for you to be "THAT" person.Posted by littlemegabyteThank you for your helpful reply - I wasn't referring to 1 specific person in particular but more about many gemini people I've met - all have had this hot-cold trait.. literally go from fire-hot to ice cold, without any apparent reason - no arguments, no problems, nothing... so feel like their words can never be trusted as even if you behave as "perfectly" as possible e.g. listen to what they have to say, ask thought provoking questions, contribute discussion, etc. they can still switch.
I'm not a gem male, but I am a gem female with sun, mercury, venus and jupiter gem 🙂 also dating a gem man as well! What are his other placements? Because mine has moon scorpio and cancer venus, so he is clingy and emotional (even though he denies it lol, so cute). We haven't gone a single day without talking... ever. I really and truly believe that if a gem guy genuinely likes you, it would be totally clear and you wouldn't have to ask or wonder. Gems play games but not with the ones they really like/love. These guys like to impress, there will be gifts AND ACTION behind their words. Not just empty words. Empty words are for gems who are playing games.
I was also in a serious relationship (5 years) with a gem sun/cancer moon and he was loving too.
This is just my own experience with my 2 gems, but neither have needed or wanted space from me. Maybe this was because of their heavy water placements.
I am an earthy gem, so I VERY MUCH need space a lot. This doesn't bode well with my water gems. Well... the cancer moon understood, but don't even try to get space with this scorp moon ©©©
Let us know his other placements!
Thanks also to everyone else's useful answers - I look forward to more contributions from others too 🙂click to expand
Posted by aj123We often get swept up in a moment. I can have the most intense connection with someone one night...very involved conversation, sexual tension, intense eye contact, wanting to know everything about them, making them feel like they are the only person in the room...sometimes the planet, and guess what? I MEAN IT. I really, really mean it and feel it and everything I say is true. Unfortunately, the next day, I may just not feel the same way. Run into me again a week later, and I may rejoice and want to pick up right where we left things, I may want to start a steamy affair, I may tell you you're the most interesting person I've ever met and I feel like I've known you for years...and I'll mean that too, and then I wake up the next day...rinse, repeat.Posted by littlemegabyteThank you for your helpful reply - I wasn't referring to 1 specific person in particular but more about many gemini people I've met - all have had this hot-cold trait.. literally go from fire-hot to ice cold, without any apparent reason - no arguments, no problems, nothing... so feel like their words can never be trusted as even if you behave as "perfectly" as possible e.g. listen to what they have to say, ask thought provoking questions, contribute discussion, etc. they can still switch.
I'm not a gem male, but I am a gem female with sun, mercury, venus and jupiter gem 🙂 also dating a gem man as well! What are his other placements? Because mine has moon scorpio and cancer venus, so he is clingy and emotional (even though he denies it lol, so cute). We haven't gone a single day without talking... ever. I really and truly believe that if a gem guy genuinely likes you, it would be totally clear and you wouldn't have to ask or wonder. Gems play games but not with the ones they really like/love. These guys like to impress, there will be gifts AND ACTION behind their words. Not just empty words. Empty words are for gems who are playing games.
I was also in a serious relationship (5 years) with a gem sun/cancer moon and he was loving too.
This is just my own experience with my 2 gems, but neither have needed or wanted space from me. Maybe this was because of their heavy water placements.
I am an earthy gem, so I VERY MUCH need space a lot. This doesn't bode well with my water gems. Well... the cancer moon understood, but don't even try to get space with this scorp moon ©©©
Let us know his other placements!
Thanks also to everyone else's useful answers - I look forward to more contributions from others too 🙂click to expand
Sounds like a true gem to me i dated one give them love reassurance b patient they will comr back around. Its that 2 ppl in them jackyl hyde
Posted by ashley1734In what way?Posted by gemguyaz34WOAHHHH what you said is so true, you just described me to a T.Posted by aj123This happened to me with a Libra I was with. The hot and then the cold. Not being able to express feelings openly. They didn't like confrontation. Coincidentally, they had a Scorpio moon. It's like no matter how much I told them I loved them and was there for them, in the end it was never good enough. People who play these games, regardless of placements, tend to have a hard time in being honest with themselves about what they really want or they make it impossible for you to be "THAT" person.Posted by littlemegabyteThank you for your helpful reply - I wasn't referring to 1 specific person in particular but more about many gemini people I've met - all have had this hot-cold trait.. literally go from fire-hot to ice cold, without any apparent reason - no arguments, no problems, nothing... so feel like their words can never be trusted as even if you behave as "perfectly" as possible e.g. listen to what they have to say, ask thought provoking questions, contribute discussion, etc. they can still switch.
I'm not a gem male, but I am a gem female with sun, mercury, venus and jupiter gem 🙂 also dating a gem man as well! What are his other placements? Because mine has moon scorpio and cancer venus, so he is clingy and emotional (even though he denies it lol, so cute). We haven't gone a single day without talking... ever. I really and truly believe that if a gem guy genuinely likes you, it would be totally clear and you wouldn't have to ask or wonder. Gems play games but not with the ones they really like/love. These guys like to impress, there will be gifts AND ACTION behind their words. Not just empty words. Empty words are for gems who are playing games.
I was also in a serious relationship (5 years) with a gem sun/cancer moon and he was loving too.
This is just my own experience with my 2 gems, but neither have needed or wanted space from me. Maybe this was because of their heavy water placements.
I am an earthy gem, so I VERY MUCH need space a lot. This doesn't bode well with my water gems. Well... the cancer moon understood, but don't even try to get space with this scorp moon ©©©
Let us know his other placements!
Thanks also to everyone else's useful answers - I look forward to more contributions from others too 🙂click to expand
Posted by gemguyaz34In the bad way:Posted by ashley1734In what way?Posted by gemguyaz34WOAHHHH what you said is so true, you just described me to a T.Posted by aj123This happened to me with a Libra I was with. The hot and then the cold. Not being able to express feelings openly. They didn't like confrontation. Coincidentally, they had a Scorpio moon. It's like no matter how much I told them I loved them and was there for them, in the end it was never good enough. People who play these games, regardless of placements, tend to have a hard time in being honest with themselves about what they really want or they make it impossible for you to be "THAT" person.Posted by littlemegabyteThank you for your helpful reply - I wasn't referring to 1 specific person in particular but more about many gemini people I've met - all have had this hot-cold trait.. literally go from fire-hot to ice cold, without any apparent reason - no arguments, no problems, nothing... so feel like their words can never be trusted as even if you behave as "perfectly" as possible e.g. listen to what they have to say, ask thought provoking questions, contribute discussion, etc. they can still switch.
I was also in a serious relationship (5 years) with a gem sun/cancer moon and he was loving too.
T
Let us know his other placements!
Thanks also to everyone else's useful answers - I look forward to more contributions from others too 🙂click to expand
"People who play these games, regardless of placements, tend to have a hard time in being honest with themselves about what they really want or they make it impossible for you to be "THAT" person."
Posted by geminidudeYes, the famous "Rubber band Effect" that Dr. Gray speaks about in his book, "Men are from Mars, Women from Venus."
We are distancing ourself to get even more closer, I bet you don't know what I meant but yes that's exactly it is.
Although to most women, it's hard for us to understand the need to pull away, but for men, it's normal. It's wired in their DNA and also hormonal. Women are wired to get closer and discuss our feelings. Men are wired to be in control of theirs. They don't want to discuss feelings. Words to them are more for simple communication. When they get close to a women emotionally/physically, they feel as if they are losing control.
The bonding hormone, Oxytocin, increases for both men and women during intimacy. However, the impact is far different. In women, it makes us desire more intimacy. So we get more clingy and want more attention. We think, well if he loves me, he'll want more of me, right? In men, the increase of Oxytocin actually reduces their testosterone. So they pull away to get their testosterone levels back up to normal. This is a scientific fact. That's why guys run and go to their man cave to regroup, get control of their feelings and regain their autonomy.
Honestly, if more couples would understand the biological nature with both sexes and why we act and feel the way we do during relationships, we'd all benefit and be more in tune with our partners.
Posted by ashley1734Thank you for your insightful post. This thought pattern is whPosted by aj123We often get swept up in a moment. I can have the most intense connection with someone one night...very involved conversation, sexual tension, intense eye contact, wanting to know everything about them, making them feel like they are the only person in the room...sometimes the planet, and guess what? I MEAN IT. I really, really mean it and feel it and everything I say is true. Unfortunately, the next day, I may just not feel the same way. Run into me again a week later, and I may rejoice and want to pick up right where we left things, I may want to start a steamy affair, I may tell you you're the most interesting person I've ever met and I feel like I've known you for years...and I'll mean that too, and then I wake up the next day...rinse, repeat.Posted by littlemegabyteThank you for your helpful reply - I wasn't referring to 1 specific person in particular but more about many gemini people I've met - all have had this hot-cold trait.. literally go from fire-hot to ice cold, without any apparent reason - no arguments, no problems, nothing... so feel like their words can never be trusted as even if you behave as "perfectly" as possible e.g. listen to what they have to say, ask thought provoking questions, contribute discussion, etc. they can still switch.
I'm not a gem male, but I am a gem female with sun, mercury, venus and jupiter gem 🙂 also dating a gem man as well! What are his other placements? Because mine has moon scorpio and cancer venus, so he is clingy and emotional (even though he denies it lol, so cute). We haven't gone a single day without talking... ever. I really and truly believe that if a gem guy genuinely likes you, it would be totally clear and you wouldn't have to ask or wonder. Gems play games but not with the ones they really like/love. These guys like to impress, there will be gifts AND ACTION behind their words. Not just empty words. Empty words are for gems who are playing games.
I was also in a serious relationship (5 years) with a gem sun/cancer moon and he was loving too.
This is just my own experience with my 2 gems, but neither have needed or wanted space from me. Maybe this was because of their heavy water placements.
I am an earthy gem, so I VERY MUCH need space a lot. This doesn't bode well with my water gems. Well... the cancer moon understood, but don't even try to get space with this scorp moon ©©©
Let us know his other placements!
Thanks also to everyone else's useful answers - I look forward to more contributions from others too 🙂click to expand
Posted by gemini64Thank you for your post. I've actually heard this rubber band theory many times but not sure how much I believe it. It seems rather theoretical and "scientific" but has any man ever agreed to this reasoning? In some ways, it's comforting yet in other ways, the theory may just be giving guys an easy excuse out.Posted by geminidudeYes, the famous "Rubber band Effect" that Dr. Gray speaks about in his book, "Men are from Mars, Women from Venus."
We are distancing ourself to get even more closer, I bet you don't know what I meant but yes that's exactly it is.
Although to most women, it's hard for us to understand the need to pull away, but for men, it's normal. It's wired in their DNA and also hormonal. Women are wired to get closer and discuss our feelings. Men are wired to be in control of theirs. They don't want to discuss feelings. Words to them are more for simple communication. When they get close to a women emotionally/physically, they feel as if they are losing control.
The bonding hormone, Oxytocin, increases for both men and women during intimacy. However, the impact is far different. In women, it makes us desire more intimacy. So we get more clingy and want more attention. We think, well if he loves me, he'll want more of me, right? In men, the increase of Oxytocin actually reduces their testosterone. So they pull away to get their testosterone levels back up to normal. This is a scientific fact. That's why guys run and go to their man cave to regroup, get control of their feelings and regain their autonomy.
Honestly, if more couples would understand the biological nature with both sexes and why we act and feel the way we do during relationships, we'd all benefit and be more in tune with our partners.click to expand
Posted by aj123You got cut offPosted by ashley1734Thank you for your insightful post. This thought pattern is whPosted by aj123Posted by littlemegabyte.
I'm not a gem male, but I am a gem female with sun, mercury, venus and jupiter gem 🙂 also dating a gem man as well! What are his other placements? Because mine has moon scorpio and cancer venus, so he is clingy and emotional (even though he denies it lol, so cute). We haven't gone a single day without talking... ever. I really and truly believe that if a gem guy genuinely likes you, it would be totally clear and you wouldn't have to ask or wonder. Gems play games but not with the ones they really like/love. These guys like to impress, there will be gifts AND ACTION behind their words. Not just empty words. Empty words are for gems who are playing games.
I was also in a serious relationship (5 years) with a gem sun/cancer moon and he was loving too.
This is just my own experience with my 2 gems, but neither have needed or wanted space from me. Maybe this was because of their heavy water placements.
I am an earthy gem, so I VERY MUCH need space a lot. This doesn't bode well with my water gems. Well... the cancer moon understood, but don't even try to get space with this scorp moon ©©©
Thanks also to everyone else's useful answers - I look forward to more contributions from others too 🙂click to expand
Ok my post above isn't coming out properly when I try to quote you, Ashley but here it is:
"Thank you for your insightful post. This thought pattern is exactly what I suspected of geminis to be honest - they seem very sincere when they say it and make the promises, etc. and yet, seem to have no clue about it, the next day. How does one have a successful relation with a gemini if they constantly go back and forth/push-pull, regardless of how "fun" you are? Is there any particular trigger to avoid?
Due to my aquarius moon, I am a bit like that too but I think with geminis, it is more so - especially as we aquas act a bit cold and distant to begin with so us doing the push-pull thing isn't as noticeable compared to a typical gemini's whose "hot" phases are very hot."
"Thank you for your insightful post. This thought pattern is exactly what I suspected of geminis to be honest - they seem very sincere when they say it and make the promises, etc. and yet, seem to have no clue about it, the next day. How does one have a successful relation with a gemini if they constantly go back and forth/push-pull, regardless of how "fun" you are? Is there any particular trigger to avoid?
Due to my aquarius moon, I am a bit like that too but I think with geminis, it is more so - especially as we aquas act a bit cold and distant to begin with so us doing the push-pull thing isn't as noticeable compared to a typical gemini's whose "hot" phases are very hot."
Posted by aj123I cannot attest to any successful relationships because I haven't had any 😢 I have had quantity over quality, but I'm trying to improve. I have had very bad luck with Aquarius Moons...the last two guys I have been interested in both had this placement and their aloof/detachment actually drove me away. I am a bit more grounded than I was when I'm younger and I think my Virgo Moon helps me a lot. I think giving just enough space to a Gemini while still giving them attention/affection is key. We want independence but we also want to know we have a stable partner to come back to.
Ok my post above isn't coming out properly when I try to quote you, Ashley but here it is:
"Thank you for your insightful post. This thought pattern is exactly what I suspected of geminis to be honest - they seem very sincere when they say it and make the promises, etc. and yet, seem to have no clue about it, the next day. How does one have a successful relation with a gemini if they constantly go back and forth/push-pull, regardless of how "fun" you are? Is there any particular trigger to avoid?
Due to my aquarius moon, I am a bit like that too but I think with geminis, it is more so - especially as we aquas act a bit cold and distant to begin with so us doing the push-pull thing isn't as noticeable compared to a typical gemini's whose "hot" phases are very hot."
Posted by ashley1734Thank you again for your helpful post - do you do that classic gemini thing of going completely silent for up to even 5 days (no arguments e.g after a perfect evening out) and then coming back as normal, expecting to pick up where you left off, after it's been a whole week since last contact? It's hard dealing with geminis, as due to my aqua moon, I understand the need for freedom, independence, etc but don't want to be seen as a doormat, where they can come and go as they please - even though that is what being a stable partner is all about, sometimes ya just feel like you're on the back burner.Posted by aj123I cannot attest to any successful relationships because I haven't had any 😢 I have had quantity over quality, but I'm trying to improve. I have had very bad luck with Aquarius Moons...the last two guys I have been interested in both had this placement and their aloof/detachment actually drove me away. I am a bit more grounded than I was wk my Virgo Moon helps me a lot. I think giving just enough space to a Gemini while still giving them attention/affection is key. We want independence but we also want to know we have a stable partner to come back to.
Ok my post above isn't coming out properly when I try to quote you, Ashley but here it is:
"Thank you for your insightful post. This thought pattern is exactly what I suspected of geminis to be honest - they seem very sincere when they say it and make the promises, etc. and yet, seem to have no clue about it, the next day. How does one have a succt is more so - especially as we aquas act a bit cold and distant to begin with so us doing the push-pull thing isn't as noticeable compared to a typical gemini's whose "hot" phases are very hot."click to expand
Posted by aj123No I'm not like that at all. If I had a good night with someone, I would expect and hope HE would reach out the next morning and would be bummed and think he weren't all that interested if I didn't hear from him, and if a couple more days like that went on I would be much more inclined to maintain the silence because I would assume he should be leading. BUT if he contacted me the next day, I would of course respond warmly. The Gemini guy I dated was SUPER cold like that though. I don't like Gemini men at all.Posted by ashley1734Thank you again for your helpful post - do you do that classic gemini thing of going completely silent for up to even 5 days (no arguments e.g after a perfect evening out) and then coming back as normal, expecting to pick up where you left off, after it's been a whole week since last contact? It's hard dealing with geminis, as due to my aqua moon, I understand the need for freedom, independence, etc but don't want to be seen as a doormat, where they can come and go as they please - even though that is what being a stable partner is all about, sometimes ya just feel like you're on the back burner.Posted by aj123I cannot attest to any successful relationships because I haven't had any 😢 I have had quantity over quality, but I'm trying to improve. I have had very bad luck with Aquarius Moons...the last two guys I have been interested in both had this placement and their aloof/detachment actually drove me away. I am a bit more grounded than I was wk my Virgo Moon helps me a lot. I think giving just enough space to a Gemini while still giving them attention/affection is key. We want independence but we also want to know we have a stable partner to come back to.
Ok my post above isn't coming out properly when I try to quote you, Ashley but here it is:
"Thank you for your insightful post. This thought pattern is exactly what I suspected of geminis to be honest - they seem very sincere when they say it and make the promises, etc. and yet, seem to have no clue about it, the next day. How does one have a succt is more so - especially as we aquas act a bit cold and distant to begin with so us doing the push-pull thing isn't as noticeable compared to a typical gemini's whose "hot" phases are very hot."click to expand
j123: Honestly, if more couples would understand the biological nature with both sexes and why we act and feel the way we do during relationships, we'd all benefit and be more in tune with our partners.
Thank you for your post. I've actually heard this rubber band theory many times but not sure how much I believe it. It seems rather theoretical and "scientific" but has any man ever agreed to this reasoning? In some ways, it's comforting yet in other ways, the theory may just be giving guys an easy excuse out.
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the hormonal evidence is not only scientific, it's fact. and most men don't know it. they don't know when they pull away, it hurts us women who simply want to know we are valued.
the post above that I originally replied to from geminidude, he clearly states "we are distancing ourself to get even more closer." THAT is exactly what he is doing....
women always think if a man isn't talking, he's not into them. that's not true. Men don't use communication like women do to develop relationships. Men develop them by actions.
you can't base what you think a man feels based upon your female POV. That's why so many women can't understand men and vice versa. Like I've said, we are wired differently for a reason. Men are hunters by nature, women are nurturers. THIS is the basis for why men come on strong, then pull back to regroup (emotions, hormones and analyze). Women give comfort and compassion and naturally want it returned. Men can't do this 24/7. It's not in their DNA. Heck I'm a woman and I can't do this 24/7.
Sure some guys may use this to their advantage just as many women use the "blame game" to theirs. You can't screw with Mother Nature. Its is what it is and you nor anyone of us is going to change it.
Thank you for your post. I've actually heard this rubber band theory many times but not sure how much I believe it. It seems rather theoretical and "scientific" but has any man ever agreed to this reasoning? In some ways, it's comforting yet in other ways, the theory may just be giving guys an easy excuse out.
*****************************************
the hormonal evidence is not only scientific, it's fact. and most men don't know it. they don't know when they pull away, it hurts us women who simply want to know we are valued.
the post above that I originally replied to from geminidude, he clearly states "we are distancing ourself to get even more closer." THAT is exactly what he is doing....
women always think if a man isn't talking, he's not into them. that's not true. Men don't use communication like women do to develop relationships. Men develop them by actions.
you can't base what you think a man feels based upon your female POV. That's why so many women can't understand men and vice versa. Like I've said, we are wired differently for a reason. Men are hunters by nature, women are nurturers. THIS is the basis for why men come on strong, then pull back to regroup (emotions, hormones and analyze). Women give comfort and compassion and naturally want it returned. Men can't do this 24/7. It's not in their DNA. Heck I'm a woman and I can't do this 24/7.
Sure some guys may use this to their advantage just as many women use the "blame game" to theirs. You can't screw with Mother Nature. Its is what it is and you nor anyone of us is going to change it.
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