i am torn

its a bitch. i have a amazing woman who is no lie grade A marriage material. the problem tho is that i feel like im married! i have never felt so miserable in my life. everything just seems so dull now. i want to regain my happiness. i talked to her and she doesnt understand. what do do. . . what to do. . .

Posted by seraph
How would you know who's "marriage material"? What's your basis for comparison?

Unless you posted a bogus age in your profile, you're 18.

marriage material is what i consider marriage material, which means i would consider getting married to this person given that i was older and could support a famiy.

thank you very much earthygemini, the work you have put in is greatly appreciated. most of the time i take astrology with a grain of salt and am skepitical of it all, but your insight has temporarily put a halt to that due to your description of the planets. truly amazing stuff.

this is stupid. the best relationships/marriages are the ones where you always know what to expect, not the kind when you pull up in the front door and you a) do not want to go it, b) are scared to go in - because you never know what to expect. WTF do you want? Drama? Fights? Make up sex? besides 18? you barely started living.

Posted by westside
its a bitch. i have a amazing woman who is no lie grade A marriage material. the problem tho is that i feel like im married! i have never felt so miserable in my life. everything just seems so dull now. i want to regain my happiness. i talked to her and she doesnt understand. what do do. . . what to do. . .

Just relax westside. Don't be so hard on yourself.

I feel you. When I was around your age I was involved with a wonderful young man. He was and still is, perfect marriage material. There was nothing "wrong" with him, he had many of the qualities I admire. But the timing was not right. I had always dreamed of traveling and experiencing the world, and I was putting it on hold to keep the relationship intact. I felt torn between the love I had for him and my thirst for knowledge and exploration. The longer I stayed with him, the more resentful I felt. Like you said, it felt like the joy was being sucked out my life. But that feeling had nothing to do with that person, in my case. He was still the great guy I fell for. It was caused by the sublimation of my needs in favor of another's. Every time I put someone else's wants above my own, I wounded myself. Like a caged animal I'd get restless and angry, lashing out for minor unrelated issues. It was difficult, but I realized that I wasn't being true to myself and I could not spend a minute more living an inauthentic life. I broke up with him and within weeks I was gone, on the path I was destined for.
No, it was not easy, but it was the right decision. When he saw me off at the airport there were tearful goodbyes and sadness, but as the plane taxied off the runway I felt a sense of lightness and elation knowing I was embarking on an adventure.
Twenty plus years later, I think of him from time to time. He's married now and has a family. And he's quite happy, from what I hear from mutual friends.
Do I think he's the one who got away? No. I don't believe that we each have a quota of one great love per life span. We can love more than once, each relationship can be meaningful and special in it's own way.
Though, I didn't think of it that way, at the time. He was so awesome, we had such a great connection, I was afraid I'd never find that again. Not realizing that while it was true that I'd never meet anyone exactly like him again, that it didn't mean I'd never meet another person who wasn't just as awesome in his own right.

Good luck. Follow your gut, it will lead you where you need to be.

Posted by ZipZapZoooom
spice it up... complain about her shoes :p

LOL

Posted by westside
its a bitch. i have a amazing woman who is no lie grade A marriage material. the problem tho is that i feel like im married! i have never felt so miserable in my life. everything just seems so dull now. i want to regain my happiness. i talked to her and she doesnt understand. what do do. . . what to do. . .

You are still very young. You're a very intelligent, level-headed, intellectual individual, but you have not experienced life. 18 is such a ripe age & you need to go through life experiences, & a relationship would stand in your way. You shouldn't get serious about anyone right now, & just have fun dating. Not at all saying you're too young to fall in love, but you're too young to get involved with what being in love entails, & mounting a relationship with someone is not easy.

She's not going to understand your stance & I know it's painful, but you have to do what's best for you. Sometimes that means letting people go.

@ Westside

'i have a amazing woman who is no lie grade A marriage material. the problem tho is that i feel like im married!'

Many men are with the 'right' woman but it may not be the 'right' time for them due to where they're at in life. That's what the situation is with you I feel. This advice was given to me by a man.

🙂

Posted by SagChick411
@ Westside

'i have a amazing woman who is no lie grade A marriage material. the problem tho is that i feel like im married!'

Many men are with the 'right' woman but it may not be the 'right' time for them due to where they're at in life. That's what the situation is with you I feel. This advice was given to me by a man.

🙂

++GAZILLION!